Hi,
This is Teresa Conte and today I'd like to share some ideas with you about self-care in the midst of loss and how to create a program that supports you through the process.
But first,
I'd like to share a quote with you which comes from a bookmark entitled,
Just for Today,
By the Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters.
It says,
Just for today,
I will have a program.
I may not follow it exactly,
But I will have it.
I will save myself from two pests,
Hurry and indecision.
Whether we're grieving the loss of a child,
A parent,
Or friend,
The death of a pet,
Have lost or retired from a job,
Have an empty nest,
Or are experiencing the stress of our changing world,
It's easy to get caught up in worry and tension and feel as if we have no control.
Yet,
There are things we can do to help ourselves to feel more relaxed and centered.
If you've been attending my live events,
You'll know that my son Ian passed in July 2025.
It's been a rocky road.
Grief comes in waves.
I've learned that days which begin in bleakness can shift into feelings of love and gratitude when we open to life's possibilities.
Grief is a potent teacher.
In the midst of deep pain and stress,
We can listen to our inner guidance and follow where it leads.
Since Ian passed,
Each morning when I wake,
I pray for the strength to move through the day with grace and ease,
To live a full,
Happy,
Healthy life,
And ask my higher guidance for what's possible that day.
These are things I know my son would want for me,
As your loved ones,
Should they have passed,
Want for you as well.
Along the way,
I've experienced multiple synchronicities,
And I'm more and more aware of how life is showing up for me.
The quote at the beginning of today's podcast has been one among many,
God sends.
A program is like a recipe we can follow.
The ingredients we choose are up to each of us.
My program has four components which I do my best to incorporate into each day.
I mix and match their ingredients as it feels right to me in the moment.
Here are my four components and a list of their ingredients.
Perhaps they'll give you some ideas for how to create your own.
Component number one,
Self-care.
For me,
It includes eating well,
Movement,
Meeting friends as I feel ready and able,
Reading inspirational books and quotes,
Listening to podcasts on grief and healing,
And music and talks on Insight Timer before I go to bed at night.
Coloring in my mandala coloring book,
Going on small adventures,
Cooking,
Watching clouds,
Taking photographs,
And swimming in warm weather,
Among others.
Component number two,
Nature.
It includes walks along the water,
Communing with trees,
Taking a ferry ride,
Watching the rainfall,
Listening to the thunder,
And watching the sky light up when there's lightning,
And looking out my kitchen window to watch the birds on a nearby tree.
My third component is meditation.
It includes breathing,
Mantras,
Journaling,
Contemplation,
Lessons from A Course in Miracles and other teachings,
Making up lyrics as I walk around the house and sing,
And walking meditation.
My fourth component is listening to my intuition.
It includes messages that come through my journal writings,
Ideas that come to mind,
And guidance through music,
Things I read,
Images I see,
Feelings,
Words,
Signs,
And dreams.
Here's how one day played out for me.
One night,
A few weeks after my son passed,
I got the idea to take the bus from Trieste,
Italy to Copra,
Slovenia.
A 45-minute bus ride from where I live,
And less than 10 euros round trip,
Making it completely doable.
I woke the next morning feeling some resistance.
I had slept late,
Didn't want to rush,
And when I checked the bus schedule,
The early afternoon bus only ran on Saturdays,
And this was a Thursday.
That meant I had less than 30 minutes to eat,
Brush my teeth,
Pack a bag,
And get to the bus station on time to make the 11.
45 departure.
Then,
I recalled a key part of my program.
Listen to my intuition.
So,
I decided to get ready,
Trusting that the next right thing would unfold.
Not only did I make it to the bus stop and buy my ticket on time,
I even had 15 minutes to spare.
I have no idea how all that happened.
It was truly a miracle.
Not only that,
I had such an amazing day.
As always,
I invited my son to join me in spirit.
I took a beautiful walk along the sea,
Feeling Ian's presence with me all along the way.
I stopped at a lovely cafe with a beautiful view of the sea,
Enjoyed a cappuccino,
And spent some quiet time journaling.
My heart was filled with so much love,
Like a pure wave of energy.
I felt it welling up inside of me,
Then pouring outward through me.
I must have looked a little strange as I walked,
As I had a huge smile on my face.
But that's not all.
As I walked back to town to catch the 6 p.
M.
Bus back to Trieste,
I felt called to stop in a clothing store that had some fun items in the window.
And then,
To my amazement,
As I was looking at a price tag on a pair of shorts,
I saw an unmistakable sign,
As you can see from my cover photo,
That Ian was 100% there with me.
Never mind that the salesperson said it meant linen in Slovenian.
I knew exactly what it meant to me.
Here are a few simple keys to help you build a program that works for you.
Key number one,
Brainstorm.
Thinking back to my list of four components,
Self-care,
Nature,
Meditation,
And listening to my intuition,
Brainstorm a list of components that would help be helpful to include in your program.
You might take a few minutes to meditate and set your intention for the components that would work best for you.
Key number two,
Review your list and choose three or four components to start with.
Then,
List the ingredients as I did to go along with each component.
For example,
I included cooking and walking as ingredients in my self-care component.
Key number three,
Place your list of components somewhere you can see it,
So when needed,
It will act as a reminder.
Key number four,
Notice any resistance that comes up as you implement your program.
Then,
Decide what you're going to do.
So,
Thinking back to my example about taking the bus from Trieste to Slovenia,
I noticed my resistance and then decided to follow my intuition.
My program served as a great reminder.
Number five,
Acknowledge yourself and the progress you're making each time you follow through.
It's progress,
Not perfection.
Then,
Number six,
Take a moment to really absorb the good feelings that arise and acknowledge yourself for your progress.
Stay with the feelings for five to ten seconds,
Allowing yourself to fully absorb them and enjoy the experience.
Before you know it,
You'll develop a new habit and won't need your list to remind you.
If you don't think your list of components is working for you,
Try giving it a couple of weeks before making changes.
It may take a little time to see how your program is working for you and notice the results.
As an aside,
You can remove or add ingredients to any of your components at any time.
And here's a tip to friends who wish to support someone who's experiencing loss,
Should you happen to be listening.
Be gentle,
Acknowledge their experience,
Ask them how you can support them and listen with compassion.
If you found today's podcast helpful,
Please leave a written review and let me know how the message spoke to you.
It will also help other Insight Timers subscribers find it and perhaps be helpful to them as well.
And if you know someone who's grieving,
Experiencing a loss of any kind or needing support,
Please share today's podcast.
As I said,
It may be helpful to them as well.
Thanks so much for listening and wishing you a most wonderful day.
