Hi,
This is Teresa Conte and welcome to Day 22 of 30 Days of Gratitude to Inspire and Uplift You.
Thanks so much for joining me again today.
It is a pleasure to be here with you.
And now,
As always,
I'd like to share a quote.
This one comes from Mary Oliver.
She said,
My work is loving the world.
And now,
A thought to ponder.
What better job is there than that which Miss Oliver describes?
People won't always think or act the way we wish they would.
What would happen if we loved them instead of judging them?
How would our lives be different?
Holding on to grudges hurts us,
Not them.
And yet,
It can be hard to let go of resentment without truly honoring ourselves and how we feel.
We may wish for vindication,
But that only boomerangs back to us as tension,
Stress,
Anxiety,
Worry,
And physical manifestations,
As well as blocks to our emotional and spiritual growth.
I often find journaling helpful,
As well as sitting and letting the feelings associated with a hurtful event surface.
It's not always easy and can be rather painful,
But it's a way to release the pent-up energy that's stored within our body's cellular memory.
Today I'd like to share a forgiveness process with you that I've adapted from various practices and find helpful when dealing with painful situations and emotions.
See if and how it resonates with you.
There are also many other forgiveness practices available online and in books,
Should you like to investigate further.
So here's the practice I use.
You might like to write it down,
Or relisten to the track and do the practice as a guided meditation as I'm describing it.
If so,
Feel free to pause it along the way as needed.
So here we go.
When you're ready,
Sit with a journal and pen nearby.
Bring the situation you're struggling with to mind.
Be aware of how you feel,
Emotionally and physically,
And what,
If any,
Thoughts might be part of the scenario.
Don't hold back if emotions come up.
If you're feeling tearful,
Let your tears flow.
If you're feeling anger,
Let yourself just be present with that as well,
Without having to act on it or do anything,
Just noticing.
Breathe in to any discomfort,
Whether physical or emotional.
Then,
When you're ready,
Open your eyes and write out the following sentences,
Or,
If you're doing this as a meditation,
Follow along in your mind's eye.
The person I need to forgive is .
.
.
Bring the person to mind,
And if you're journaling,
Write the sentence down in your journal.
The next sentence is,
I would have preferred that you had .
.
.
And now,
Let the person know what it is you would have preferred,
Or,
If you're journaling,
Write it down.
One tip is that,
Rather than writing a paragraph if you're journaling,
Or giving a summary if you're doing the practice as a meditation,
Begin each sentence with,
I would have preferred that you had .
.
.
As the process is more effective that way.
I'll give you a few moments.
The next sentence is,
But you didn't do that,
So I now cancel all of my demands and expectations about you and about the situation.
I give responsibility for your behavior back to you,
And I take responsibility for mine.
And now,
The next sentence is,
I now easily and comfortably release you in all related events concerning you.
Again,
Be with whatever feelings are there,
And see yourself letting the person and the situation go.
As you say or write down the following words,
I love you.
I bless you.
I forgive you.
And I release you to your highest and greatest good,
And I am freed to mine.
Add anything else you feel inspired to include.
Notice if you feel any sense of release or freedom.
And see the person now,
Surrounded by a white healing light,
As you let them fade into the distance.
Fill yourself with loving kindness and bathe in healing energy.
When you're ready,
Open your eyes.
Perhaps the practice will help,
Perhaps not.
Or you may need to do it more than once for it to have an effect.
Some issues can be challenging,
So don't do the process on your own if there's something deep or traumatic you've been struggling with.
Seek out a therapist,
Coach,
Or other trained professional who can guide you and be there with you should difficult emotions arise.
Forgiveness is a process.
Be mindful of your needs.
It's okay if you're not ready to let go.
Trust your timing and the healing process that's best for you.
Be on your own side.
Be your own best friend.
Do what nurtures you.
Don't push yourself beyond your limits.
Love yourself.
Be kind to you.
Let the healing in,
In whatever forms are right for you.
Wishing you a most wonderful day.
