Hi,
This is Teresa Conte and thank you for joining me today.
Today I'd like to share a quote with you from The Courage to Change and this comes from page 169 and it goes like this,
I cannot know what the future will bring.
My best hope is every bit as likely to occur as my worst fears.
So I have no reason to give more weight to my negative assumptions.
And I just love this quote.
It brings me much peace and comfort because when my mind is fearful and filled with worry,
It's impossible to feel happy and content.
Going back to a part of the quote about my best hope is every bit as likely to occur as my worst fears has actually been validated.
91% of what we worry about never actually happens and out of the remaining 9%,
6% of the time the outcome is better than anticipated.
So our brain is conditioned to look at the negative based on our ancestors' needs for survival.
So we have a tendency to overestimate threats and underestimate our ability to handle what life may present to us or to actually see the positive aspects of a situation.
So I think that's really interesting and of course the sensationalism of the media,
Television,
News,
All feeds on the brain's negativity bias.
And the brain's negativity bias feeds on all this sensationalism.
It's almost like an addiction if you will.
Thinking that the future will be like the past or grasping onto even positive experiences because we're afraid to let them go keeps us stuck in a never-ending cycle of fear and negativity.
So I don't know about you but there have been times I've been afraid to let go of a positive situation in my life because there was the fear that maybe this whatever the situation was might not happen again.
Maybe this was a one-time experience.
And so that is also based in fear,
Right?
And that fear limits our opportunities to take in something new,
To recognize a new opportunity for instance.
While we can use our past experiences as stepping stones to our personal and spiritual growth by reflecting on what we've learned and to assess our likes and dislikes and what we may wish to change,
We must let them go in order to create a new and healthy future.
Letting go doesn't mean that we deny the hurts and disappointments we've experienced.
It's important that we honor and heal them and when ready to acknowledge the blessings they've provided.
For example,
Perhaps a difficult situation has led to better self-care.
I have worked in the health field for many years and I have heard women who've had ovarian cancer for instance talk about how it was the best thing that happened to them even though it is a dreadful disease because it led them to assess their priorities in life and to take better care of themselves health-wise.
The same thing has been true with prisoners.
I did volunteer work for a couple of years in a maximum security prison and oftentimes I would hear the residents say that getting arrested was the best thing that happened to them because it helped them have a spiritual awakening.
So,
So much depends on our perspective and how we look at things.
Letting go again doesn't deny the hurts and disappointments we've experienced but we have to come to terms with our past and heal the remnants of what may continue to be present there.
We can also learn to see real threats more clearly and develop inner resources to address them.
Like developing a greater sense of courage,
Confidence or resilience and there are tools to help us do this.
The same holds true for our joyful experiences.
We can use them as guiding lights to inform our future choices,
To steer us in the direction of our dreams,
To what lights us up and to use them as catalysts to deepen our sense of love,
Well-being and appreciation.
And again,
We must also let those positive experiences be part of the flow rather than trying to hold on to them in order to welcome something new into our lives,
To be open,
To allow something new to manifest in our lives in whatever way that might be right for each of us.
So I have a few questions to ponder.
So I invite you,
If you like,
To close your eyes and to see what answers arise as I ask these questions.
So rather than thinking about them from a cognitive point of view,
To just see what your inner wisdom brings up to the surface,
What your intuition might wish to reveal to you.
So take a breath,
Close your eyes if you're in a safe and comfortable position.
First question is,
What have I been holding on to,
Good or bad,
That might be holding me back from a new experience?
And I'll give you a few seconds between each question.
So again,
What have I been holding on to that might be holding me back from a new experience?
Perhaps a situation,
A fear.
See what comes up for you.
Next is,
What is the payoff for holding on?
What rewards or benefits am I receiving from holding on to this fear,
To this relationship,
To this situation,
To whatever this experience is for you that you have in mind?
What is the payoff for holding on?
Next,
What would happen if I let go of this fear,
Of this relationship,
Of this situation?
Again,
Whatever that situation is for you.
How would I react to that?
How will I benefit by releasing this fear,
This relationship,
This situation?
What else is possible?
And lastly,
How am I needing to grow?
How am I needing to grow to be a better person,
To be a better person,
To be a better person?
Again,
Just let in whatever wisdom is there,
Whatever your intuition is bringing up,
To recognize it,
Be aware of it.
You might like to journal on these questions,
So I'll repeat them once again.
If you'd like to open your eyes and write them down.
The first question is,
What have I been holding on to,
Good or bad,
That might be holding me back from a new experience?
What is the payoff for holding on?
What would happen if I let go?
What would happen if I let go?
How will I benefit by releasing it?
And lastly,
How am I needing to grow?
The future is ours to create,
But in order to do that,
We need to be present.
In the moment,
To let go of the past,
To be open,
To allowing the good things in our lives to come in and bless us and bless the world through us.
How am I needing to grow?
I'd love to hear your comments,
Should the answers to this question prove to be fruitful for you.
I hope today's talk was helpful,
And I look forward to connecting with you again soon.
Wishing you a wonderful day.
