Picture this,
A small girl at the age of 5,
Standing in a room of red velvet,
Her grandmother standing beside her holding her hand tightly.
In a feeble attempt for the grandmother to comfort the girl,
She looks down at her and says,
God always takes the good people first,
And then begins to sob over her son's coffin.
This was my most vivid memory of my father's funeral.
I remember the vibrant red color of the room,
And the sad faces around me,
Tear-filled eyes of all of my grown-ups,
And even though it was a little bit blurry,
The feeling was very impactful.
I didn't feel any comfort in that space or in that moment.
I do remember feeling left with the sensation in my body that I was not good enough,
So God left me here with all of this.
This had become a core memory of my childhood,
Which went on to become a foundation of many of the life choices that I made to prove that I was in fact good,
Or good enough.
Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt small,
Insignificant,
Or not good enough?
I believe we all have profound stories in our life,
Good or bad,
That can be impactful or inspiring,
And although they have different details,
Events,
Or sequences,
They elicit similar emotions,
We feel them the same in our heart.
We can relate to the sadness,
The loss,
The grief,
Or even the joy.
It's in the way that they touch our hearts that elicits the pain or inspires the action.
I had for a long time felt a deep desire to become a yoga teacher,
But deep down I never felt good enough.
It was not possible because of my circumstances,
And people like me don't get to do things like that.
These were the stories that I told myself,
Back to the moment,
In that funeral home at the age of five.
Through meditation,
I was able to release these old stories,
Limiting beliefs and societal conditioning,
And start to learn how to create my own stories,
My new stories that were true,
Where I am the rock star of my life.
It is a practice,
And it is a process.
And this is what I would like to share with you today,
A way that you can increase your awareness around your thoughts and the stories that you create in your mind.
The things I'm sharing with you today are things that I have learned,
I have embodied,
And I continue to practice daily,
Even now.
Let's begin with you are not your thoughts.
You are a soul on this earth having a human experience,
And your thoughts are just part of this process.
We can be aware of our thoughts,
And not exactly attached to them,
So taking a moment to step back and observe.
Our thoughts are very powerful,
And oftentimes we settle in the negative,
But we need to remember and remind ourselves that they can also be imaginative and creative.
As we create the stories in our mind,
Around our experiences and our emotions,
We have the choice to choose that narrative.
We can change our thoughts to create new stories.
Let's try this.
When you have a thought in your mind,
I want you to stop,
Take a breath,
And then reframe that thought.
It kind of looks like this.
Taking that step back in your mind,
Observing that thought,
Noticing the space between you and the thought.
That space is the detachment.
As you take a deep breath in,
And a long breath out,
You can feel relaxation or settling in the body.
From that moment,
You can formulate a new thought.
One that is more positive,
More actionable,
And more supportive of how you're feeling or what you're feeling about.
This is just one way to step in and create the new stories.
But it kind of leads us into this practice that I would like to share with you to help you navigate and discern the stories that you might be telling yourself.
The ones that aren't true,
That keep looping and looping in your mind because of past experience or a core memory.
In this meditation mantra practice,
We are going to use a mantra which is a thought tool.
It helps us to anchor during our meditation and guide our attention to that mantra instead of getting lost in the thoughts in our mind.
It can allow you the space to get in touch with your true inner knowing.
The mantra I'm offering you today is I Am Enough.
So if you are ready to begin,
We're going to start with the freedom trinity,
Which is our body,
Eyes,
And our breath.
Allow your hips to be heavy here,
Sinking into your seat or your surface.
Allowing your shoulders to drop and be soft.
Relaxing through your fingers and your toes or the skin of your face.
And then bringing your hands one on top of the other over your heart space and just noticing your breath.
Next,
I will invite you to have a soft gaze or gently close your eyes completely,
Whatever feels more comfortable.
And then we'll bring our attention to the breath.
I'm going to guide you through a three count breath where we inhale for three,
Hold for three,
And exhale for three.
So before we begin that,
I'd like to take one deep cleansing breath in together,
In through the nose,
And you may release it out through the nose or the mouth.
And feel yourself sink a little more deeply into your space.
Then we'll begin inhaling for one,
Two,
Three.
Hold for one,
Two,
Three.
And exhale for one,
Two,
Three.
We'll do that again,
Inhaling for one,
Two,
Three.
Hold for one,
Two,
Three.
And exhale for one,
Two,
Three.
Next time,
We'll inhale for one,
Two,
Three.
Hold for one,
Two,
Three.
And exhale for one,
Two,
Three.
Now just allow your breath to return back to its natural and normal rhythm.
And we're going to begin with our mantra,
Repeating it quietly in your mind for the next little while,
Starting with me,
I am enough,
I am enough,
I am enough,
I am enough,
I am enough,
I am enough.
And if your mind has wandered or drifted away,
Just gently come back to your mantra,
I am enough,
I am enough.
I'm going to invite you to take a deep breath in and a long breath out,
Releasing the mantra and just letting that go for right now.
I invite you to take a moment and think in your mind quietly.
There's one small thing I can do today to create a new story.
Take another deep breath in and a long breath out,
Softly bringing yourself back into this present moment.
And when you're ready,
You can gently open your eyes.
I would like to invite you to take another moment here and write down how you answered that question in your mind.
There's one small thing that I can do today to create a new story.
You can jot this down in your phone or write it in your journal or on a piece of paper that's close to you,
Someplace where you will keep it safe and not forget it.
Taking small steps and actions each day will lead us to make changes and continued practice will lead us to transforming the stories,
The self-talk,
And our overall well-being into a more positive and joyful experience.
Meditation has helped me to let go of old stories and create new ones,
Ones that feel true and aligned with me,
Ones that foster a sense of goodness and knowing that I am in fact good enough.
The core memory of my dad's funeral was profoundly sad and left me feeling that I was not good enough.
And meditation has helped me to find peace in that and release that old story.
And you know what my grandmother said to me that day was something that really gave her comfort in that moment.
She really had no idea the impact that it could have on me at that time.
But in that space,
Those words activated a fear response so profound in me.
The story that was created in my mind was to keep me safe.
In doing these practices and becoming aware of my thoughts,
Reframing them and creating new stories,
I actually did become a yoga teacher and also a meditation teacher in the exact same year.
I feel the power that it has given me to change the thoughts as they come up,
To find the courage to take the small steps to follow my dreams.
I feel calmer and more relaxed in my body and I am so excited for you to experience your new stories.
I thank you so much for meditating with me today.
I hope you have an amazing day.
Namaste.
