Hello,
I'm Alice,
And today's Radical Rest is called Apparently I'm Supposed to Slow Down.
It's something I've been told most of my life.
You need to pace yourself,
Take it easy,
Slow down.
And honestly,
I don't always want to,
Because when I have energy,
I have to use it.
There are days when I could run a marathon,
And others when just even the act of putting my socks on feels overwhelming.
So when someone tells me to slow down,
It feels a bit like I'm being told off,
Like doing too much is doing something wrong.
But I'm starting to wonder,
What if slowing down isn't about doing less,
It's about doing things differently?
If it feels comfortable to you,
You can close your eyes or soften your gaze as we lean in to relaxing,
Taking our time with the breath.
Let your shoulders drop,
Unclench your jaw,
Feel the ground or the chair or wherever you are supporting you.
You can take a deep breath in and out in your own way and in your own time,
And let it remind you that you don't have to be anywhere else in this moment,
Just here for you.
Like many women with ADHD,
My brain runs fast.
It's full of ideas,
Excitement,
Lists,
Half-finished projects,
And the occasional,
What if I just bought a round-the-world plane ticket?
But my body,
Especially in perimenopause,
Doesn't always keep up.
Some days I feel electric,
And other days it's like wading through treacle,
Really it's like wading through treacle,
And that's a common feeling for many women.
There seems to be a mismatch between the mind and the body,
And it can feel really frustrating when they just don't meet.
If you're neurodiverse,
You probably already know this dance well,
Bursts of brilliance followed by total burnout,
And then the feeling of guilt,
Of wondering,
Why can't I just stay consistent like everybody else?
Here's what I'm learning for myself.
Pace isn't about forcing balance,
It's about building trust with yourself.
It's listening to what kind of energy you actually have in the moment,
Not what you wished you had,
And honouring that.
It's doing things because they give you life,
Not because they prove your worth.
It's also allowing yourself to do the small,
Dopamine-friendly things,
Even the just-because-I-want-to things,
Without labelling them as lazy or indulgent.
Just today I was in town,
I had a shopping list of things to buy from the supermarket,
But the opticians I walked past distracted my focus with shiny new glasses in the window.
So I went in and spent a very happy 20 minutes or so just trying on new glasses and enjoying the moment,
Just because I wanted to.
I was incredibly shocked at myself at not parting with any money and leaving with four pairs of glasses that I didn't need.
I actually congratulated myself for recognising that it was a nice thing to do,
Just for my own pleasure and because I had the energy to do it in that moment,
And it didn't cost me a penny.
When we stop trying to outpace our bodies,
Something shifts,
Our nervous system starts to feel safe again,
And from that safety we can move at the rhythm that's truly ours.
I want you to find your own rhythm and honour that for yourself,
Not anybody else,
Just for yourself.
Now take a slow,
Easy breath.
Notice the pace of your breath,
Your natural rhythm.
It's always been there.
As you move through your day,
Remember you don't have to chase calm.
If you're feeling energised,
You can let calm catch you up.
It's okay.
I hope you enjoyed today's radical rest,
And I hope you're able to carry this small calm with you and know that this is a space you can return to whenever you need.
Take care.
