What's For You, Wont Go By You

This talk focuses on the Scottish saying 'whats for you wont go by you', or, in Doric 'fits for ya winna go by ya'. The talk invites you to take the essence of the saying into your life and practice. Acknowledging that sometimes when the time is right, the things you want can come to pass, and to release things that do not stay, as they were never for you anyway.

Transcript

Hello and welcome. There's a Scottish saying you've maybe heard before What's for you will no go by you Or where I'm from in Scotland If it's for you, When I go by you It's one of those phrases that can sound almost throwaway Something your gran might say Something folk might just nod at and then move on from But if you sit with it for a while It opens into something much deeper Because what it's really speaking to Is time Trust And the way that life unfolds in its own way Often slower, Often stranger And often kinder than we expect So many of us move through life with a sense of hurry A quiet fear that if we don't keep up If we don't push harder If we don't get there soon We'll miss our chance We look sideways at other people's lives Their milestones Their timelines And we wonder Am I late? Have I missed it? Did I take the wrong turn somewhere? It's like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland We think I'm late We wish ourselves to another place Another time Another life Another us But then this wee phrase This wee Scottish phrase Comes along and says No, What's meant for you will find you Not because you've earned it by exhaustion Not because you've forced it into place Because it belongs on your path In Scottish culture I think there's a sense that life isn't something you fully control But something you walk alongside You do your best You show up You keep going And at the same time You recognise that there's a rhythm beyond your own effort If it's for you when I go by you It doesn't mean that you sit back and do nothing It doesn't mean waiting around for this life to magically sort itself out It means the things that truly matter The connections that shape you The work that fits you The lessons your soul needs They can't be lost just because you didn't run fast enough There's a difference between effort and forcing Effort feels honest It has breath in it But forcing comes from a fear That fear of lack That fear of being left behind And many of us find ourselves forcing our way through life Even when we're tired Even when something inside us is quietly saying This pace isn't mine This path isn't mine Sometimes what hasn't arrived yet isn't failure Sometimes it's timing Sometimes it's shaping Sometimes you're still becoming the person Who can actually hold the thing you're asking for In Scotland we live close to the elements And one thing is for sure You cannae rush the seasons You can plant the seeds You can tend the soil But you don't get to shout at the earth and demand spring And your life is a bit like that If something has passed you by Maybe it was because it was never meant to stay And if something truly belongs to you Belongs with you It can have a way of circling back Meeting you when you're ready to recognise it So maybe today Instead of pushing harder You soften a little And release the hold Maybe you trust your own timing a wee bit more And let go of the idea that you're behind And let go of the idea that you're behind Because in the end Our path is our own And what's meant for you The real stuff The soul stuff Well, That when I go by you It'll find you In its own time Thank you for being with me today And I hope you take that saying Into your own life And use it well