Hello,
I am Melissa and I'd like to offer you today a brief exercise in holding space for grief.
Sitting with grief can be very difficult,
Especially when we're just trying to navigate our everyday life while also carrying around intense feelings.
Where possible,
We need to give ample space and time to ourselves to truly attend to our deep grief.
But this meditation today has two main intentions.
One is simply to exercise the muscle of holding a hard thing while also remaining patient and compassionate toward ourselves.
And the second intention is to offer practice for those moments when there's not time or space for what arrives emotionally.
And yet it's there and it's demanding our attention nonetheless.
So,
Let's get started.
Let yourself get comfortable where you're seated.
And it can be good to start with cleansing breaths and anchoring breath.
Notice your diaphragm and allow it to expand and contract deeply with your breath.
So,
Take a big inhale for four to five seconds.
Allow your diaphragm to expand,
Then exhale for as long as feels good to you.
Let your diaphragm contract softly back down.
Take another deep breath,
Just like that one,
Four to five seconds in,
Whatever feels good for you.
And exhale deeply,
Let the diaphragm soften.
Know that even this might be hard to do on a difficult day when the pain of loss is weighing heavily on you.
But just take this time for yourself.
Sometimes even three deep cleansing breaths is such an act of love.
So,
Let's take one more of those.
Take your time.
A good breath in and a long,
Slow exhale.
So,
Begin to notice where the grief is showing up in your body.
You can start at the top of your head and scan down through your face and neck,
Through your shoulders,
Your chest,
Your heart space.
Scan down through your tummy and your hips,
Your legs,
All the way to the floor.
And if this feels overwhelming to do when you're grieving,
It's okay.
You can just come back to noticing your breath.
Sometimes I hear people say they feel the grief everywhere,
And that's okay,
Too.
Wherever you notice it,
As much as you're able,
Open your hands to it,
Say yes.
As much as you're able,
Cease any resistance and allow it to be there while you breathe and just notice.
Notice your grief with kind eyes.
You might speak to it and let it know,
I see you.
You can come in.
I can sit with you and breathe for a minute.
Some real patience with what's there.
Kind eyes,
Gentleness.
See if you can expand your awareness while noticing the quality of the grief,
That you also notice your own patience and your curiosity toward it.
Take your time with that,
Holding these two things,
The grief and your allowing of the grief.
But anytime you feel overwhelmed,
Just come back to your breath.
Notice your diaphragm.
There can be hard days with grieving,
Where sitting with it,
Even in this way,
Does not fully alleviate it,
But it can create a bit of a cushion and a little bit of space,
Some friendliness inside ourselves,
So we carry it differently throughout the day.
It might be difficult for you to have kindness toward it today,
So just be gentle with that This is a practice.
Continue breathing and noticing what the grief does.
Just notice patiently,
It might move somewhere else.
Maybe for a minute it gets bigger because you're allowing it,
So just breathe and stay as best you can.
Sometimes you might notice that it just leaves.
You might feel it exit through your fingertips or through your feet into the floor.
There are times a contraction of grief just wants to be held for a minute.
So I'm going to offer you a moment now of some quiet space for your own breath and your own noticing.
As you go throughout your day,
You might feel contractions of grief return.
Working through grief is an ongoing practice and it requires ongoing attention.
It's a midwifing and allowing of it.
It's a regular practice of learning to hold ourselves while an emotion moves through us and leaves.
So remember this practice,
How to sit kindly and patiently and let go when needed.
And if you're ready,
You can begin to flutter your eyes a little,
Wiggle your toes,
Slowly come back into the space where you are.
Hold yourself today with kindness.
