Hello,
This is Melina and it's good to have you here.
Sometimes our wounds hold us so tightly that we cannot help but hold on to resentment or to blame.
Then not only our mind,
But also our body stays in a state of defense,
Of protection.
Whenever we think about that person or about that situation again,
Our shoulders might tense up,
Our breath might become shallow,
Our chest might become tight.
And no matter how often we tell ourselves to just let it go,
Our body,
Our system might disagree.
And in most cases,
It's right to do so.
Because forgiveness isn't a decision we can simply make.
It's a state we reach mentally,
Emotionally and physically.
And most of the time this shift happens when our nervous system feels safe enough to soften again and to let go.
Very often we don't hold on because we are just resentful,
But because our body still believes it needs to protect us.
Letting go can thereby feel dangerous,
Like exposing ourselves again.
And sometimes it's also because what once hurt so deeply couldn't fully be felt back then.
Maybe it was too much,
Maybe it didn't feel safe,
Or maybe we simply couldn't allow it.
Anger,
Sadness,
Grief,
Disappointment,
They stay stuck in our system until there's enough space for them to be finally felt.
And that's also why it's so important for you to understand.
You don't have to let go of what you never really got to hold.
Forgiveness often doesn't need willpower,
It needs space.
It can also feel like forgiving means approving of what happened to us.
But forgiveness doesn't mean I agree with what was done.
Instead it means I take back the power the past had over my present.
And sometimes the pain we have been through is so deeply woven into our own story that forgiving can feel like losing a part of who we are.
No matter what is true for you,
All these parts are welcome here today.
And they may soften just a little.
Now place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.
Take a soft breath in and slowly exhale through your mouth.
And now simply feel where you might still hold the story that hurt you.
Maybe it's in your chest,
Your throat,
Or your belly.
And if it feels right for you,
You could silently say to yourself that was so,
So hard.
It hurt and it wasn't okay that it happened.
And then simply allow what's here for a moment.
Not to get lost in it but to find yourself within it again.
Take another deep breath and bring to mind a person or situation you might still be holding on to.
Not always but very often,
The people around us act unconsciously.
Out of fear,
Out of pain,
Out of their own wounds.
Sometimes they lash out blindly.
Maybe all trapped in their own version of reality.
None of that makes any of what happened to us right.
But seeing that their actions speak so much more about their inner state than about our own worth this can really help us to loosen the grip.
I repeat,
It never means that what happened was right or okay but it means one thing.
It never had the right to rule over you.
Now,
Place both hands on your upper arms as if you're holding yourself.
And from here,
Gently begin to tap.
First one side,
Then the other side.
Or,
If you prefer,
You could also softly stroke your arms instead.
Find your own rhythm doing this.
A rhythm that feels right and safe for you.
With every movement,
A bit of tension can melt away.
Stay with yourself while doing this process.
With your story.
With your truth.
Maybe you could feel a deep sigh coming up.
Maybe tears.
Or maybe just silence.
Everything that comes up is okay.
And if you want to,
You can quietly say to yourself,
I release what is no longer mine to carry.
I forgive when the time is right.
Not to forget,
But to be free.
When you feel like you have felt through this process,
You can let your hands come to rest.
I invite you to take one last conscious deep breath in and exhale with a sigh.
Remember,
Forgiveness doesn't mean to pay.
Pain was never there.
It means you stop fighting it.
And what we no longer fight can finally leave.
Now,
Take another breath.
And trust that in your own time,
A piece of peace will find its way into you.
