Welcome to the Inner Calm Method.
This is a simple yet powerful way to return to peace and calm when you're experiencing painful or hurtful feelings like anger,
Sadness,
Fear,
Hurt,
Guilt,
Stress or loss.
If you're experiencing conflict,
I highly recommend you stop,
Find a quiet space and sit on your own for a few minutes and follow these steps until you feel calm again.
Then you can rejoin the conversation without your ego or feelings getting in the way.
If you're having other intense feelings when you're on your own,
Just do the same thing.
Step 1.
Notice the feeling in your body.
It might seem strange at first,
But the feeling you're experiencing shows up as a sensation or energy in your body.
Notice exactly where it is located.
If you have trouble noticing where the feeling is,
Bring up the thought that's upsetting you the most and you'll soon notice the feeling.
Sometimes it comes like a churning in the stomach or a tightness in the chest or maybe a lump in the throat or a pain in the head.
Those are just some of the common ones,
But it can be anywhere in the body.
Step 2.
Let go of any thoughts.
As soon as you notice where the feeling is in your body,
Let go of any conscious thoughts about the situation.
Those thoughts aren't very helpful in this process.
In fact,
All conscious thoughts are just a distraction from the feeling in your body.
Set any thoughts to one side and gently redirect your attention back to the feeling in your body.
Step 3.
Put all your attention,
Presence and loving energy into the feeling.
You might have spent years avoiding this feeling.
Now you want to give it your full attention,
The same way you might give your attention to a crying baby.
So really focus into where that feeling is.
Give it your warm,
Loving attention.
Step 4.
Don't try to make the feeling go away.
Resisting the feeling or trying to make it go away is like trying to force a baby to stop crying.
It usually only makes the baby cry even more.
Instead,
Focus your pure attention and loving presence on the feeling.
Accept it just the way it is.
Just be with the feelings.
Step 5.
Notice where the most intense part is.
You might notice that the feeling is spread out or there are different sensations in different parts of your body.
Notice where the feeling is the most intense and focus your attention in that area.
Give it your loving acceptance and presence.
Step 6.
Give the feeling space to move and breathe.
As you keep your attention on the feeling,
It may move around and it may get more or less intense.
Whatever happens is totally fine.
Keep breathing slowly and deeply whilst keeping your focus on the most intense part of the feeling.
Step 7.
Ask yourself,
What's happening now in my body?
Asking yourself this question can help you focus on the actual feeling instead of being distracted by thoughts.
Notice where the feeling is located and how intense it is on a scale of 1 to 10.
Step 8.
Ignore the clock.
Sometimes when doing this process,
It feels like it's going on for ages when in reality it's only been a couple of minutes.
There is nothing more beneficial than resetting to inner calm.
So you can ignore the clock.
You'll be more efficient and effective when you're at peace with yourself and with what is in this moment.
If it helps you to ignore the time,
You can set a countdown timer to 11 minutes and put your phone on airplane mode while you do this.
Step 9.
Stay present until you find nothing but peace,
Love and joy.
If you feel anything other than peaceful neutrality or even love and joy in your body,
Then stay present to the sensation until it completely dissipates.
This usually only takes a few minutes,
Sometimes a few seconds.
Step 10.
Welcome back to inner peace and calm.
When the feeling has dissipated and you feel calm again,
You have returned to the natural innate state of calm that is your default setting.
Enjoy the inner peace and harmony you now feel,
Irrespective of your situation,
And be thankful for it.
