Confidence On Demand - 5 Steps To Get There

Ever wish you could summon confidence exactly when you need it?

This track gives you the tools to do just that.

In this masterclass, I’ll take you through five powerful steps to silence self-doubt, own your strengths and show up with certainty—whether it’s at work, in conversations or during life’s big moments.

I will talk you through practical and proven strategies that you can start using today. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you learn.

Transcript

So,

Welcome.

Thank you for joining me today.

Today's session is all about building your confidence and empowering you to take meaningful steps forward in life.

Whether you are here because you are going back to work or you need a boost of confidence,

You are in the right place.

And throughout this masterclass,

I'm going to be sharing with you some strategies,

Some practical tools,

Some insights,

Some exercises that you can start using immediately to boost your confidence.

However,

To start with,

I want to give us a moment to set our intentions for this session.

So,

Take a moment to think about why you are here today.

What has brought you to this masterclass?

What do you hope to gain from it?

So,

Let us begin.

Do you struggle to speak up at work,

Even when you have great ideas?

Do you shy away from promotions or new opportunities due to a lack of confidence?

Do you feel nervous about stepping up in meetings or leadership roles?

Would you like to confidently contribute your ideas at work?

Would you like to be able to seize those career opportunities without second-guessing yourself?

Would you like to take on new challenges without feeling overwhelmed?

The truth is,

We are all confident to a degree and we can learn to be even more confident.

And yes,

You will see those individuals who seem like they are super confident and thrive in every situation.

And there may be other people who seem to be less confident and they shy away in new situations.

The people I work with are not feeling particularly confident.

Their today does not look how it did yesterday.

Whether it's because they've been made redundant,

They've decided to retire,

They've experienced a divorce or they're a new mum returning to work.

The challenges that they are currently facing are having an effect on their confidence.

My name is Maria Newman and I help my clients to regain their confidence,

Reconnect with who they are and silence their inner critics so that they can navigate life with certainty.

And during today's session,

I'm going to share with you what confidence means to me and how you can become more confident.

Before I do that though,

I do have two questions that I would like you to consider.

The first one is,

Why do you want to be more confident?

What is your specific reason?

Is it something to do with being more confident at work or is it more general and to do with your personal life?

And my second question to you is,

How do you think you can become more confident?

What do you think you can do for yourself to boost your confidence?

For me,

This falls into two parts.

The first one being building your inner confidence,

Your self-esteem,

Being comfortable with who you are.

And the second part is being more confident on the outside,

Which is being confident in different situations.

So bearing that in mind,

I'm now going to share with you five actions you can take that will help you to build your confidence.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't like the way I look or sound.

I don't have enough experience.

I don't have the right knowledge.

Does that sound familiar?

Do these thoughts or similar ones pop into your mind?

That is your inner critic stopping you before you can get started.

And for me,

The most important thing and the first step when building confidence is boosting the confidence you have on the inside by getting to know,

Like and trust yourself.

So do you trust yourself?

Do you like yourself?

Do you know yourself?

If the answer is no,

It is time to start.

It's time to start getting to know,

Like and trust yourself.

And you can do this by asking yourself a few simple questions.

What are your core values?

You see,

Your values determine how you live life.

They are like your compass in life.

They help you to make decisions.

What do you like and dislike?

What are your talents?

And if at any point you're having difficulties answering these questions,

Then just go back to your childhood and think about the times where you just lost track of time.

That's when you were doing something that you liked or you had a talent for.

And it will also remind you of maybe some of those hobbies that you don't do anymore that you do really quite like.

Why is it great to be you?

And what makes you good at your job?

Just a few questions to help you to get to know yourself better.

Another activity that I do with my clients,

Which can feel a little bit uncomfortable is I get them to look in a mirror.

And yes,

There is the tendency for you to immediately look at maybe some of your flaws.

However,

I would encourage you to avoid doing that and instead start to point out the things you like about yourself.

It might be something quite simple,

Like you like the shape of your eyebrows or the way you smile and then look a little bit deeper.

And it might be that you like the fact that people will come and see you when they've got a problem that they're having difficulty overcoming,

Or it's the fact you make people laugh.

So if you want to be more confident,

Your first step is to get to know,

Like and trust yourself,

Which means starting from the inside.

Get practicing.

Confidence is like a muscle.

The more you exercise it,

The stronger it will become and the more confident you will become.

This means taking action,

Which means potentially stepping outside your comfort zone.

I would like to share a story with you.

I remember the morning when my son was about to start year two.

So he would have been about five,

Six years old at the time.

And he really wasn't happy about starting school.

And I could tell because he wasn't really talking to me.

He wasn't looking very happy.

So as we were walking to school and I was talking to him,

It reminded me that,

Hang on a second,

He finished year one where he loved his teacher.

He really enjoyed sitting next to his little friend.

And he knew exactly where his classroom was.

And here he was,

As we were walking to school,

About to start his first day in year two,

Where he had no idea who he'd be sitting next to.

And there were some children he really didn't want to be sitting next to.

He wasn't 100% sure where his classroom was because he'd only been there once.

And that was a couple of months ago.

And his teacher,

He had a new teacher.

He didn't know what she'd be like.

And he was also worried that he would call her Miss Cook instead of Miss Baker.

You see,

He was stepping outside his comfort zone.

And as we walked to school and I held his hand,

I simply said to him,

Luca,

You know all those feelings that you're feeling at the moment?

What if those feelings are feelings of excitement?

He paused for a minute.

There was a bit more silence.

And then he looked at me and he said,

Mummy,

Maybe you are right.

So by stepping outside your comfort zone and going into a situation that is different,

You will have feelings come up for you.

However,

It's the language you use that means that you see this new situation as an opportunity versus seeing it as something to be scared of,

Worried of,

And maybe to avoid.

So I invite you to be more aware of the words you use when you are entering a new situation and to find the courage to go into those new situations,

Practice being in new situations because you will find that your confidence will grow the more times you experience new things.

Accept that every situation is neutral.

Every situation that you find yourself in is neutral until you give it meaning with the language that you use,

Whether that's what you say out loud or what you say because of those thoughts that pop into your head.

You see,

The thoughts that pop into your head determine how you feel and how you feel determines how you show up and the actions you take.

And the actions you take are then the experiences and the results that you have.

So let me give you a hypothetical situation where I was to tell you that your boss is out sick and you need to step into their shoes temporarily.

What do you do?

How do you feel?

What do you think?

You might be like Annabelle.

Oh my goodness,

She would hear the news and she'd think,

Great,

This is an amazing opportunity.

I can show people what I really can do,

My true potential.

As a result of that,

She'd be feeling really,

Really excited.

She'd be motivated.

She would show up ready to show everybody else what she could do.

She would be taking the actions to demonstrate her capability.

And as a result,

She would do an amazing job.

You might be like Barbara.

Oh my word,

Barbara would hear that and she'd be thinking,

What do you mean I've got to step into my boss's shoes?

This is the worst idea that anybody has ever had.

Why would somebody even think to put me in that position?

And as a result,

She would be feeling really nervous.

She'd even contemplate not going into work and she'd do what she had to do in order to just get the job done.

And as a result,

She would bumble her way through it.

So I encourage you to think about and become more aware of the thoughts that are popping into your head when you are about to go into that situation where you feel less confident.

Think about the words that are coming up for you and try and select the ones that will actually serve you and help you as opposed to those ones that hold you back and tell you you can't.

Re-framing can change everything.

Earlier,

I asked you some questions about being confident.

I'm going to ask you those questions again.

And as I do so,

I would just like you to become really,

Really aware of the thoughts that are popping into your head.

And if you want,

You can also write them down.

So here we go.

Three questions.

Number one.

Do you struggle to speak up at work even when you have great ideas?

Number two.

Do you shy away from promotions or new opportunities due to a lack of confidence?

Number three.

Do you feel nervous about stepping up in meetings or leadership roles?

So what were your thoughts?

Were they helpful or did they reinforce your lack of confidence?

It's now time to re-frame them.

And here are some examples to help you.

So when speaking up at meetings or during your day-to-day activities,

You might be thinking,

Well,

No one cares what I have to say.

Instead,

You could re-frame that to be,

I have a valid opinion which I want to share.

When you think about getting promoted,

You might be thinking,

No one wants to hire me.

Instead,

Replace it with,

I have valuable skills that would benefit the right employer.

And then in meetings,

You might be thinking,

No one in the meetings I attend realises I'm here.

This could become,

I intend to contribute to all meetings I attend to the best of my ability.

You now know that those thoughts that pop into your head can be a little bit sneaky.

And you can quite easily re-frame them.

And yes,

It does take practice.

And yes,

You do need to catch yourself.

And as we said earlier,

The more practice you do in first of all,

Being aware of those thoughts and then re-framing them,

The more you'll be able to boost your confidence and be the person actually inside you really are.

So I invite you to re-frame your thoughts.

And then I just want to go through with you embracing the power of visualisation.

So if you can see it,

You can be it.

And that's why visualisation is so powerful.

And this is a great way for you to try on what it looks like,

To be confident.

So to start with,

I want you to do a bit of a pre-frame with you.

And yes,

Some people say,

But Maria,

I don't do visualisation,

I cannot see pictures in my mind.

And let me say to you,

If I said to you,

Think of a pink elephant with a green tail,

Blue ears,

And a red eye,

You would have a sense of what that looks like.

And that is what visualisation is.

Yes,

Some people will see the picture really,

Really clearly.

And other people will have a sense of what the picture is.

So if you're ready,

We're now going to go through the visualisation.

So to start with,

I would like you to bring to mind someone who you would say is confident and who you would admire.

And I'll just give you a moment to bring that person to mind.

And now I would like you to close your eyes.

And I would like you to picture them in your mind.

And I want you,

First of all,

To pay attention to what they look like.

How are they standing?

What's their body movement like,

Their body language?

How do they look at other people when they're talking to them?

How do they hold themselves?

I now want you to start to pay attention to how they sound.

How do they use their voice?

What is the tone of their voice like?

How do they speak?

And now I would like you to think about how it feels to be that person.

That person who you see being totally confident.

Now,

As you look at that person who you admire being confident,

On the count of three,

I'm going to click my fingers and I want you to step into being that person.

One,

Two,

Three.

So you've now stepped into being that confident individual.

How does it feel to be them,

To be in their shoes?

What's it like hearing the positive thoughts that they are having about being confident?

What's just happened is we have created a confidence coat for you and really feel into wearing that confidence coat.

It feels good,

Doesn't it,

Being a confident individual?

And as I click my fingers,

I want you to really lock in that feeling of confidence.

One,

Two,

Three.

And slowly,

I want you to come back into the room.

Wiggle your fingers,

Wiggle your toes,

And slowly open your eyes.

So confidence,

To start with,

Is as easy as going through those steps one at a time.

First of all,

Getting to know yourself and boosting your inner confidence.

Then becoming more mindful of practicing being in situations that can help you improve your confidence.

Being aware that every situation you find yourself in is neutral until you give it meaning from the words that you use.

And having the ability to reframe those thoughts when they are not serving you and changing them so that they actually help you.

And finally,

Being able to put on your confidence coat so that it can help you when you need to be confident.

So what's next?

It really is up to you.

I've given you some tips today that will help you,

And then you can use those to improve your confidence in life.

That is the end of the session.

Do you have any questions?