Bouncing Back From Any Setback

Have you hit a setback that's knocked your confidence? Whether it’s redundancy, a career change, a personal challenge, or just feeling lost, it can be hard to know what’s next.

This 30-minute masterclass will give you practical tools to rebuild your confidence, regain control and take your next steps with certainty.

Life’s bumps in the road don’t have to define you. Join me to discover how to bounce back stronger than ever.

Transcript

Today's session is all about bouncing back from setbacks that you'll encounter during your lifetime and throughout this masterclass I'm going to be sharing with you some practical tools,

Some insights and exercises that you can start using immediately so you can bounce back from any setback.

However,

I want to begin by giving you the opportunity,

A moment,

To set your intention for this session.

I'd like you to think about why you are here today,

What brought you to this masterclass,

What do you hope to gain from it?

So let us begin.

Have you ever felt like life threw you a curveball,

Threw you off course and you're not sure how to find your way back?

Do you ever wonder if you'll feel like yourself again after everything that you've been through?

Have you ever wanted to move forward and yet something keeps you holding back?

You've been knocked down and getting back up feels exhausted.

Would you like to regain control and confidently move forward no matter what life throws at you?

Would you like to feel like yourself again,

Stronger,

Wiser and ready for what's next?

Would you like to break free from whatever's holding you back and take action with confidence?

You want to move forward yet you know that there's something that's stopping you from doing so.

Maybe it's self-doubt,

Maybe it's the fear of failure or maybe it's just you don't know where to start.

You've tried to shake it off,

You've tried to push through it yet that weight still lingers.

Imagine feeling in control again,

Feeling like your head is clear and confident in the ability that you have.

Imagine trusting yourself,

Knowing you have the strength to rebuild no matter what life throws at you.

The people I work with feel the same.

They feel awkward,

Uncomfortable,

Uncertain.

They feel like they've been knocked down and they're not sure how to get back up and that's because their today doesn't look how it did yesterday.

My name is Marie Newman and I help my clients to regain their confidence,

Reconnect with who they are and silence their inner critic so that they can navigate life with certainty.

And during this session I'm going to show you five ways in which you can bounce back from the setbacks you might experience.

First I'd like to ask you two questions to consider.

The first one is if you could fast forward a year and look back,

What would you want to say about how you have handled the last 12 months?

Just take a moment to think about that question.

And my second question to you is what one small action can you take now to make that happen?

So I'm now going to share with you five ways in which you can bounce back from any setback.

Accept where you are right now.

Yes this might feel a little uncomfortable accepting exactly where you are right now because before you can move forward you have to stop resisting where you are right now.

You might be thinking but I don't want to be here.

I never asked for this.

I wish this had never happened.

This is what's keeping you stuck in the past.

So what's the reason for accepting where you are right now?

Because fighting reality only drains your energy.

Acceptance doesn't mean giving up.

It means recognising your starting position and that way you can then take charge of what happens next.

And how do you do that?

You start by acknowledging where you are without judgment.

Say it out loud.

Write it down.

Right now I feel lost.

Right now I don't know what's next.

It's about having something,

Some kind of mechanism that allows you to just let it out.

You could journal.

You could do a guided meditation.

You could go for a long walk.

You could ring a friend.

You could go and do some boxing.

You could go for a run.

Choose something that will let you unload.

Unload all those thoughts and emotions that might be bottling up inside you.

You might be thinking yeah Maria but that feels way too hard.

Then start small.

Acceptance is a process.

It's not a one-time thing that just happens.

It's not like switching or flicking on a light overnight.

The moment you stop fighting your reality is the moment that you are free to change your reality.

Think of it like using your sat nav.

You can map out your route forward.

However,

If you refuse to admit where you are right now,

It's stopping you from actually starting.

Accept where you are and then suddenly the path forward becomes more clear.

Shift your thoughts.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't,

You are probably right because what you become is what you think.

It's those sneaky thoughts that pop into your mind.

You know,

The inner voice,

The inner critic.

My inner critic is called Vera.

She's a lovely little old lady and she's just doing her job which is to keep me safe.

You see,

Vera is neither good nor bad.

She's just trying to stop me from failing,

Falling over,

Making a mistake,

Getting something wrong.

The thing is that when Vera is talking,

It's not necessarily helpful and what I've learnt is in those times where she's talking,

To give her a cup of tea and a biscuit and ask her to go and sit in the corner and come back when she's able to say something that's actually going to help me.

What I've learnt is that when Vera pipes up,

She's actually trying to tell me something that is useful because it's bringing to the forefront of my mind the thing that I'm frightened of and the thing that actually,

When I'm ready,

I need to deal with.

So I invite you to become aware of your thoughts and to give that voice a name to allow you to have the opportunity to separate those thoughts from you because they are not you and it's those thoughts that will determine how you feel about any situation you find yourself in and that is because every situation is neutral until you give it meaning by the words that you use.

Because it's those words,

Whether they're spoken out loud or they're thoughts that pop into your head that determine how you feel about that situation and it's those feelings and emotions that will then influence how you show up and the actions you take which will ultimately determine the results that you experience.

You may know that back in 2016 I got made redundant from my job and I wasn't the only one.

The company was restructuring but there were many of us.

There was this one person,

Let's call her Angela and when she found out she was being made redundant she was thinking,

This is amazing,

What a great opportunity.

I can now be more conscious of what I'm going to do next and go and do something that I really want to do.

She was feeling excited.

She was so happy that she'd been given this new opportunity and as a result she took action immediately.

She put together a plan of how she was going to find the job that she wanted and as a result he did find the job that she wanted.

It was an even better job with better benefits and on a better salary.

That's a little bit different from someone else I know,

Let's call her Betty.

When she found out she was being made redundant the thoughts that were popping into her head were,

You've got to be kidding me.

Who else is going to hire me?

This company is all I know and as a result she was feeling anxious.

She was uncertain of the future that was ahead of her and because of that she delayed looking for a job until almost the last minute which then meant that she had to accept the first offer that came her way and as a result she took a job that she really wasn't happy with.

So you see your thinking determines the reality that presents itself.

It's those thoughts that determine how we feel which determines the actions that we take which leads to the results that we experience.

So I invite you to be more mindful of the way you think about situations and the thoughts that pop into your head.

Determine your direction.

So it's now time to determine which direction you want to go in because if you don't have a direction you will feel stuck and you will drift from one thing to the next.

I remember when I left my corporate job I really didn't know what I wanted to do next which is really unlike me.

I didn't have a plan and I wasn't quite sure what the next step was and to be honest with you I did just keep thinking well clarity will magically appear.

It didn't.

It never happened.

The real change came when I stopped thinking it would just happen for me and I decided to take action.

That's when I started to move forward.

So why do you do this?

Well if you don't have a direction in which you want to go you could end up just going round in circles.

Even if you don't have the answers choosing a path,

Any path,

Gives you momentum and you can build on that momentum and then you'll be saying but Maria how do I start?

I really don't know the direction in which I want to go.

You start by asking yourself some simple questions.

What excites me?

What would make me feel fulfilled?

What would make me feel happy every day when I when I get up?

What would put a smile on my face?

And if that seems too big a challenge then flip it around because we all know what we don't want therefore note down what you don't want.

Sometimes eliminating what you don't want will make the path ahead more clearer and you'll be able to see what you do want.

And what if you choose the wrong direction?

There is no such thing as the wrong direction.

All that's telling you is that that's something you don't want to do.

So you adjust and that's exactly what I did.

The direction I initially took when I left my corporate job is not the direction that I'm going in now.

You just need to pick a direction for you to follow to help you build confidence so that you know you can move forward and as you move forward with each step you take you simply refine the direction in which you're going.

Think of it like driving at night.

Your headlights are on and you can only see a few meters in front of you and yet you have confidence that you are going in the right direction and slowly the road in front of you does unfold.

So determine your direction and clarity will come with the actions that you take.

Reframing can change everything.

Earlier I asked you some questions.

This time I'm going to turn those questions into statements and I want you to be conscious of the thoughts that are popping into your head and if you can note them down.

So are you ready?

You're in control and confidently moving forward no matter what life throws at you.

You feel like yourself again.

Stronger,

Wiser and ready for what's next.

You have broken free from whatever's holding you back and you're taking action with confidence.

What were the thoughts that popped into your head?

Were they helpful?

Were they helpful to you?

Or did they reinforce your uncertainty?

Any thought that pops into your head you can reframe so that it is helpful to you and this doesn't mean that you change it to be something that is not believable.

It means you slightly tweak it so that you do believe it.

Let me give you some examples.

Whilst I was saying those statements you may have said well I'm not in control.

Life keeps throwing obstacles at me and I can't keep up.

You could say instead you could change it to I am able to be in control of the way I respond to those obstacles.

You might have thought I'll never feel like myself again.

I've lost who I am and I don't know how to get back.

You could change this to feeling disconnected from who I am doesn't mean I'm lost.

You could have been thinking I'm still stuck no matter what I do I cannot break free.

Fear and doubt is holding me back.

This could become fear and doubt are normal feelings which confirm I'm outside my comfort zone.

It's really important to become aware of those sneaky thoughts that pop into your head that have the ability potentially to pull the rug from under you.

I see once you're aware of the thoughts that are popping into your head quite randomly,

You know the sneaky ones,

You can then start to catch them as they're happening which will then give you the opportunity to reframe them.

So I invite you to reframe those thoughts that pop into your head and try to take your way from where you want to go.

Visualisation.

If you can see it you can be it.

This is a great way to see how resilient you are and visualise life after setback.

And I am going to invite you to take part in a visualisation with me and you may be thinking Maria I don't do visualisation.

When I close my eyes all I see is nothing.

And this is true,

Some of us do see nothing.

And there are some people,

A small minority,

Who can see a crystal clear image.

If I was to say to you think of an elephant that's got an orange body,

A blue tail and green ears,

You will have a sense of what that looks like and that is what visualisation is.

So I'm inviting you now to take part in a visualisation.

If you can get comfortable,

Whether you're seated or whether you want to lie down,

And I will begin.

I want you to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out and close your eyes now.

Let your body relax as you settle into this moment.

Allow your mind to calm.

With each breath release the weight of the day and any tensions you're holding on to.

You are safe,

You are in control and you are here in this space for yourself listening to my voice.

Now imagine yourself standing at the bottom of a hill.

This hill represents your setback,

The challenge,

The disappointment,

The struggle that's kept you feeling stuck.

Perhaps you've been here before,

Staring up at this mountain,

Wondering if you have what it takes to climb it.

Maybe you're unsure,

Feeling a bit exhausted or even questioning whether you should try.

Now I want you to take a big deep breath in,

Look at that hill and realise that it's not the enemy.

It's just your part of the journey.

It's a chance for you to grow,

To rebuild,

To step into a new chapter of your life.

Take your first step forward.

It's small and it's yours.

With every step feel yourself becoming stronger.

The doubts,

The fears,

They start to fade away.

You're not rushing.

You're moving at your own pace and with each step you feel more confident in yourself.

Look around you as you climb.

Notice the beauty of the landscape.

There are signs of growth,

Of change,

Of new beginnings.

The path is not always smooth and you begin to see it clearly.

Each step leading you closer to where you want to be.

Now with each step imagine the weight of the past slipping away,

Leaving you lighter,

Freer.

Feel your shoulders relax as the tension melts.

You're becoming more present in this moment,

More aligned with your true self.

As you near the top of the hill there is a version of you waiting there.

This is your future self,

The woman who has overcome this setback,

The woman who knows her own strength.

She's standing there with a smile,

Looking at you with warmth,

Pride and unshakable confidence.

You reach the top and stand beside her.

You feel her energy,

Her sense of calm,

Clarity and assurance that this journey was worth every step.

Take a moment to connect with her,

Feel her confidence,

Feel the wisdom she has,

The wisdom she's gained from her experience.

You are becoming her in every moment.

Every moment,

Every step will lead you to her.

Now imagine a path opening up before you.

The path represents your future,

A future where you've bounced back,

Where you've reclaimed your power and direction.

With every breath you take,

You feel more aligned with this new direction,

This new version of yourself.

You are ready,

You are capable,

You have everything you need to move forward.

Now take a big deep breath in and out and step into your future self.

Feel how great it is to be her,

The strength,

Her confidence.

They will stay with you.

Know that this version of you is already within you.

Now slowly bring your awareness back to the present moment.

Wiggle your fingers,

Roll your shoulders,

Wiggle your toes and when you're ready,

Open your eyes now.

You have taken the first step and the rest of your journey awaits you.

So what's next?

It really is up to you.

You can carry on as is or you can see how else I can help you.

Then that just leaves me to say I encourage you to take a moment after this session to reflect on your biggest takeaways,

What resonated with you the most and what insights you may have had and also what action you are going to take because obviously coming to a session like this is great,

You get lots of good information and strategies and tools that you can use.

However,

They're no use to you unless you actually go and use them and that's when you will feel,

See,

Hear differences in your life.