Hello and welcome.
You were born with power.
The power to choose,
To speak,
To shape your life.
No one gave it to you and no one could take it away unless you hand it over.
Today's practice is about taking it back,
Not aggressively,
Not by forcing anything,
But instead by simply remembering.
Remembering that you already have the right to choose,
To speak,
To take up space and to author your own life.
So when you're ready,
Just finding a position that feels grounded and upright.
Sitting with your spine relatively straight,
Let your shoulders settle back slightly,
Feel your feet on the ground and then take one long slow deep breath in,
Breathing in through the nose and then exhaling out gently through the mouth.
This practice is about reclaiming something that was always yours.
Let's begin.
You already make choices all the time.
Right now you choose to do this practice.
You choose when to wake up today or you choose to keep sleeping.
You choose what to eat or you choose not to eat yet.
You chose to be here.
Agency isn't some mystical state you need to attain,
It's a simple fact that in every moment you are responding to life and response is a form of choice.
Even no choice is a choice to let circumstances decide.
Put into mind one small decision you made today that came from your own preference,
Not from obligation or fear.
Maybe you chose to drink coffee instead of tea.
Maybe you chose to wear something comfortable.
Maybe you chose to take a breath before responding to someone.
Whatever it was,
Just observe that preference,
The choice you made today.
That small choice is an example of agency.
It doesn't have to be this dramatic thing,
It's something you're already doing but we're going to look at doing it more consciously.
So next bring to mind one area of your life where you've been waiting for permission from someone else,
From circumstances,
From quote-unquote the universe or from some imagined future version of yourself who will finally be ready.
This might look like waiting to speak up about something that matters or making a change you've been avoiding,
Pursuing something you want but perhaps feel unqualified for,
Setting a boundary or simply allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
Just notice what comes up when you ask that question.
Where have I been waiting for permission?
Now ask yourself honestly,
Who am I waiting for permission from?
Not as a thought exercise,
As a real question.
Whose approval are you waiting for?
Whose validation?
Whose green light?
And now ask what if no one is coming to give me permission?
What if the only permission I need is my own?
And what if you gave yourself permission right now?
What would you do?
What would you say?
How would you move through the world?
Just notice what arises,
Not to do it yet,
Just to feel what it would be like if you stopped waiting.
Just feel what it would be like if you stopped waiting for external permission.
Next we're going to practice a small but powerful perceptive shift.
Think of something you've been saying I have to about.
I have to go to work,
I have to respond to that email,
I have to take care of everyone else first,
I have to go to that event I don't want to.
Whatever it is,
Let it come to mind.
Now reframe it.
Let me give you an example.
I have to go to this family gathering becomes I choose to go because I value connection or I choose not to go because I value my piece more.
Either way you're in the driver's seat.
Other examples,
I choose to go to work because I value security it provides or I choose to respond to that email because I care about this relationship.
I choose to help because it aligns with my values or if it doesn't align I choose not to do this anymore because it costs me more than it gives.
Notice how different that might feel.
Not I have to,
I'm trapped,
I'm stuck.
Instead I choose to.
Even when the circumstances don't change the relation to them,
Even when circumstances don't change our relationship to them still can.
You can still move from passenger to driver.
Say it again,
Silently or aloud,
About whatever came to mind.
I choose to.
And notice any shift that might be happening in your body.
Now without moving it,
Check in with your posture.
How that's been during this practice?
Have your shoulders rounded forward?
Did your chest collapse a little?
Are you taking up less space than you could be?
Actually adjust this like now so you can sit up a little straighter again.
Pull your shoulders back,
Lift your chest,
Not as a kind of big performance just as a subtle reclamation.
This is your body,
This is your space.
It's okay for you to take up space.
This is a little bit what embodied agency feels like.
It's not loud,
It's not aggressive just here but here very solidly,
Very solidly here.
So we're going to look at setting just one intention for today,
Not a to-do list item but instead more of a felt direction.
Something that comes from your own inner authority rather than obligation or fear.
This can be along the lines of today I intend to speak up at least once or today I intend to protect my evening.
Today I intend to make one choice based on what I actually want or today I intend to say no to something that depletes me.
So just think about something that applies to you or feels true to you.
Some small intentional decision or choice to just reclaim a little bit of your own inner authority.
Now say it clearly to yourself.
Today I intend to or today I choose to and then whatever has come up for you.
And then notice that about this thing that it's not a wish and it's not a hope,
It's a decision.
Imagine yourself actually doing this thing today.
Say it clearly.
What will you say?
How will you move?
What will it feel like to follow through?
And then make this promise to yourself as regarding the intention that's come to you.
I will do this,
Not because I have to,
Just because I choose to.
In a certain sense you are the author of your day.
Certainly not the only factor but in a way the central one.
Feel what it's like to claim that role.
Just taking one slow breath in and just letting it out.
You've practiced something that most people spend their entire lives avoiding which is standing in your own authority.
Not over anyone else,
Just over your own life.
Intention you set matters and it matters not because intentions have some kind of magical potency to them,
Just because they remind yourself and your own system that I am choosing rather than just reacting.
When you feel ready just gently open your eyes,
Bring yourself back to the room,
Get the fingers and toes their customary wiggle and remember that power and agency aren't things you need to earn.
They're things that already belong to you that you need to stop giving away if you have been doing so.
But they're things you already have in some sense,
Things that you always had.
This practice comes from the course Healing the Self Relationship where we explore this theme more deeply.
May they support you in strengthening the relationship you have with yourself.
