Hello and welcome.
Self-trust isn't something you think your way into,
It's something you build,
One kept promise at a time.
Today's practice is about getting honest about where you've let yourself down,
Understanding why and choosing one small promise you can actually keep.
Not a heroic commitment,
Not a New Year's resolution,
Just one tiny doable thing that will begin repairing the trust between you and you.
Find a position when you're ready that feels grounded,
Feet on the floor if you're sitting or lying down with a sense of presence.
When you feel ready to do so just gently allow your eyes to softly close and then take one slow deep breath in,
Inhaling through the nose and then exhaling out through the mouth.
Again breathing in through the nose and then a nice long slow exhale out through the mouth.
This practice is practical,
It's going to be about action not just awareness.
Let's begin.
Bring to mind the last week or so.
Think about the small promises you made to yourself,
The ones no one else necessarily knew about.
Maybe you said I'll go to bed earlier tonight,
I'll take a proper lunch break,
I'll move my body for 10 minutes,
I'll text that friend back or I'll sit down and work on that thing that I've been avoiding.
Just notice what comes up.
Now with as much honesty as you can bring ask yourself how many of those little promises did I actually keep?
Not to punish yourself just to see clearly.
If the answer is not very many of them then just notice how that feels in your body.
Maybe there's a sinking feeling,
Maybe guilt,
Maybe defensiveness,
Maybe just tiredness.
Whatever's there let it be present.
This isn't about shame,
This is about data.
Your nervous system has been keeping score and that score affects how much you trust yourself when it matters.
Now ask what usually gets in the way?
Is it perfectionism?
Is it over committing?
Distraction?
Self-sabotage?
Or just exhaustion?
Just notice the pattern.
Now bring your attention to how it feels to not trust your own word.
Not in a guilt spiral way,
Just honest recognition.
When you say you'll do something for yourself and you know deep down you probably won't,
What does that do to your confidence?
Your sense of agency?
Your willingness to set goals or try new things?
Many of us treat promises to ourselves as optional while keeping promises to everyone else.
And that teaches your inner self,
I come last,
My word to me doesn't really count.
See if there's any recognition in there for you.
There's a Japanese art called Kintsugi.
When a bowl breaks it's repaired with gold lacquer so the cracks become beautiful rivers of light.
Your self-trust is much like that bowl,
It may have been dropped,
It may have cracks,
But it can be mended with gold,
With conscious loving follow-through.
And essentially each promise that you do keep to yourself is much like a seam of gold.
It doesn't have to be a grand gesture or perfection,
Just,
I said I would do this thing and I did.
Just see that image in your mind,
That bowl,
Self-trust bowl being repaired,
One gold seam at a time.
So now we're going to do the most important part of this practice,
Just choosing one tiny promise you can make to yourself today and actually keep.
Not I'll change my whole life,
Just one small specific doable thing.
It might be as simple as drinking one glass of water first thing when you wake up tomorrow,
Being in bed by a certain time tonight.
It might be sending a text or email you've been avoiding,
Spending five minutes outside doing a short meditation,
Eating one meal without distraction.
Choose something so small to begin with that it almost feels laughable,
But make sure it's something that you genuinely want to do,
Not a should from someone else.
Now imagine yourself doing it.
See it clearly,
Feel what it will be like to follow through,
Not just planning to do it,
Actually doing that small thing whatever it is.
And notice what would it feel like to keep this promise to yourself,
Even just this tiny one.
Maybe there's a quiet sense of dignity,
Maybe relief,
Maybe just a,
Oh I can trust myself with small things.
Now say to yourself either silently or aloud,
I will do this specific thing,
Whatever it is for you,
At this specific time,
Whatever that is for you.
Make it concrete,
Make it real.
And then add that and if I don't,
I won't beat myself up.
I'll get curious about what got in the way and I'll start a new promise tomorrow.
We're trying to pair extreme ownership here with self-compassion.
Taking a slow deep breath in and then gently letting it out.
You've just done something important.
You've looked honestly at where trust may have been broken and you've made one small real commitment to repair it.
And that's really how this process works,
It's not grand transformations as tempting as they can be to chase.
It's just those tiny gold seams laid down one at a time.
When you're ready to do so,
You can come back to the room and gently open up your eyes and just remember though that the promise you just made matters.
So you know,
Even if it is a very small thing,
I really would encourage you to keep it almost as though your life depends on it because in a way the quality of your life kind of does.
And it's not because you have to be perfect in any way,
Just because you deserve to know that you won't abandon yourself.
This practice comes from the course Healing the Self Relationship where we explore this theme more deeply.
May this support you in strengthening the relationship you have with yourself.
