A Clear Path Forward: Distinguishing Overwhelm From Overload

We all feel overwhelmed from time to time. It’s a normal human experience. But if we feel overwhelmed much of the time this can become debilitating for our mental and physical health, and we can feel lost with how to manage all we have to do.

In this track, we will cover:

- Defining the difference between being overloaded and overwhelmed. There is a difference between these two and knowing what you are experiencing is very helpful for finding solutions.

- How to determine if you are overloaded or overwhelmed with some useful questions and reflection points.

- Solutions for both feeling overwhelmed and being overloaded.

- The most helpful thing I have seen about this topic (so do make sure you listen to the end!)

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this track.

My name is Lindsay and I'm so glad you're here and I hope this brief time we have together is beneficial for you.

Please do reach out to me with any questions or comments I'd love to hear from you.

So in this track we are going to start by looking at defining the difference between being overloaded and overwhelmed and there is a difference between these two and knowing which you are experiencing is really helpful for finding solutions and then we'll move on to how to determine if you are overloaded or overwhelmed with some useful questions and reflection points and next we'll cover ways to deal with both of these situations and then I'll wrap up with the most helpful thing that I have seen about this topic so do make sure you listen to the very end.

So we all feel overwhelmed from time to time it's a normal human experience but if we feel overwhelmed much of the time then this can become debilitating for our mental and physical health and life in our world does seem rather conducive to feelings of overwhelm with all that we have to do and achieve and are responsible for and when we feel overwhelmed and overloaded we are often not as productive and can feel uncentred pulled in many directions.

So it can sometimes be hard to discern if we simply have too much to do too much on our plate for one person to achieve or whether we are experiencing a busy mind about all we have to do which is creating feelings of overwhelm.

So to gain some clarity let's start with defining overloaded and overwhelmed.

Overloaded so this is having too much to do in the time we have to do it and or having more than our bodies and minds are able to support and the capacity for how much we can do or cope with in any given time varies from person to person so judging ourselves against others capacity serves no function other than keeping our minds busy and us feeling insecure.

So the effects of being overloaded may take time to show up so we may carry on trying to get everything done before we start to feel the physical and emotional effects within our body and our mind.

This overloading of our system means the system will likely break down at some point either physically or emotionally.

We typically see this don't we when people get ill on holiday as soon as they slow down or catch whatever bug is going around.

So overwhelm the key here is that overwhelm is a feeling a state of mind it tends to come with other sensations such as maybe a racing mind maybe shallow breathing not being able to think straight little things getting on top of you so it's a state of having too much on your mind so we may feel overwhelmed by our long to-do list or we can also feel overwhelmed by one particular issue.

Put simply overwhelm is caused by overthinking so we all have early warning signals that we are becoming overwhelmed and I'll share some of mine in case it's helpful for you.

So for me I get very serious very single-minded I sort of stop communicating and go a bit quiet and then I start shoving things in cupboards rather than putting them away properly and I tend to feel resentful.

So maybe pause this track now and consider what are your early warning signs that are tipping you into overwhelm and if you'd like to share them in the comments I'd love to read them.

So now we're going to look at how to determine whether you are overloaded or overwhelmed.

So the tricky thing is is that we need to be out of the feeling of overwhelm before we can accurately assess assess whether we are actually overloaded and need to take things some things off of our plate and when we're in overwhelm even a small number of things to get done can feel like overload.

So I want to give you a useful metaphor for how our minds work which I hope will help you notice when you're in a settled state so that you can assess your load from a clear and calm space.

So you may have heard this metaphor before and if you have I just invite you to listen with fresh ears or fresh eyes to see if you can hear something new in it.

So I want you to imagine that the mind is like the sea or the ocean and on the surface of the water it gets all choppy according to whatever weather is passing through but the water underneath and the bottom of the ocean is always still.

The mind is the same it gets choppy depending on the volume and type of weather or our thoughts passing through but underneath there is always a still calm place within us.

We can't make decisions about what we have to do and to evaluate if we are overloaded when the water is choppy.

Once the water settles we are able to take a much more objective view about whether we actually have too much to do or are we simply caught up in an overwhelmed thought and feeling.

So people often ask me how do I settle my mind?

So like water our minds also settle when we stop stirring them up.

So if you shake a bottle of water and then set it down the water simply settles all by itself.

Our minds have exactly the same self-correcting mechanism more on this later.

So the fastest way to settle the mind is doing nothing.

Stop stirring the water up with more and more thinking and organizing and planning and the water will settle all by itself.

So to determine if you are overloaded which is too much to do in the space of time you have to do it or if you are overwhelmed overthinking about all you have to do.

When you are in a quieter headspace here are some useful questions to ask yourself and maybe pause this track again and have a think about the answers to these.

So am I busying myself with what I have to do and this is why I feel overwhelmed or do I actually have too much to do?

How much time do I have every day to get my tasks done?

Is this realistically enough?

Am I underestimating how long it will take me to finish a task?

How much time am I innocently spending thinking about all I have to do and is this creating the feelings of rushing and overwhelm?

So a helpful tip if you're unsure whether all the things you need to do is too much for you to manage in the time you have talk to a trusted friend or colleague and ask their opinion.

So I'll share my personal perspective on this.

When I feel into this for myself I tend to experience a bit of both with this.

Sometimes I'm just habitually caught up in thinking about everything I need to get done today usually with made up by me deadlines of what I'm trying to achieve and sometimes what I want to get done simply can't be done in any one day or one week.

Something I've noticed that has been hugely helpful to me is when I'm innocently keeping my head full of thinking and analysing which makes me feel more busy than I actually am.

This is creating the feeling of overwhelm not what I actually have to do.

So I find myself thinking about the next three things I have to get done whilst carrying out the task in front of me.

This isn't a state of having too much to do it's a state of overthinking.

So next up what to do if you are overwhelmed.

So hopefully by now you have taken some time to determine if you're overwhelmed or overloaded or maybe a bit of both and again do feel free to share this in the comments with me what you've discovered.

So noticing we are overwhelmed is the first step.

The human design means that our psychological emotional system resets all by itself.

We don't have to do anything but knowing that this is how we work can make all the difference.

So if we're feeling overwhelmed there isn't much that we have to do as our thought and feeling system is designed to reset all by itself.

Our mind will quieten down eventually all by itself and the feelings will pass.

So remember the ocean metaphor from earlier.

The ocean settles all by itself as the weather changes.

The human design means that the psychological emotional system resets all by itself as well.

We don't have to do anything but knowing this can make all the difference.

So we have been told that we must meditate or do breath work or some other technique to calm our minds and while sometimes these types of techniques can be useful they aren't a hundred percent effective every time at calming the mind and what if it's built into our design that our mind will settle anyway.

Don't get me wrong if you love to meditate or do breath work do it but it's not a necessity for the mind to shift and calm down this will happen in its own time.

So there is nothing we can do to calm our minds faster than doing nothing as the inherent nature of our minds is quiet and clarity even if it doesn't feel this way to us.

So it's a bit like a magnet pulling metal closer to it.

Our minds are designed to pull us back to our natural state of clarity.

Our psychological emotional system is also designed to deliver us new fresh thought all the time which can change our perspective on what we need to get done.

I often find the things I thought needed to be done don't once I'm not caught up in a busy mind.

So the next thing to do if you are overwhelmed is to look at what beliefs am I innocently holding on to that are contributing to my experience of overwhelm.

So for example what do I believe I have to achieve in order to be a good parent or colleague to be good enough to be successful.

Looking outside of ourselves for external validation and feelings of good enoughness means we may believe we have to achieve a certain amount or prove our usefulness in the world in order to be loved and approved of but what if this isn't true.

And lastly if you regularly experience overwhelm now is the time to be extra kind and compassionate with yourselves.

When we are in it we are in it.

We don't need to add an extra layer of guilt and shame into the mix.

All humans feel overwhelmed at some point.

So a great reminder is that we can't always see how it's working when we're in the thick of it of the emotion but we will always come back out the other side of any emotion.

It will definitely look like the many tasks you need to complete or that tricky problem is what's causing your feelings of overwhelm but the reality is that you're thinking about those things is where your feelings are coming from a hundred percent of the time and we lose sight of this very easily.

So it is an illusion that we will ever get through our to-do list so punishing ourselves with thoughts of the relief we'll feel when we have it all done doesn't make sense and definitely doesn't help us.

So here's a useful reminder the feelings of overwhelm are alerting us to the state of our mind not the state of our life.

It is not who we are.

I'm so overwhelmed.

It is a feeling passing through.

So next up what to do if we are overloaded.

So if you have identified that your load is too much there are various things that we can look to do.

So number one ask for help.

Asking for help can be hard if you aren't used to it or if it feels important to keep up the image of a competent excellent person but I find that people usually respond very well to our authentic self and a request for help.

Number two delegate anything that you don't have to do personally.

Look at your list and anything that you yourself don't have to do delegate it to someone else.

Number three letting go of what we can.

Does everything on your your to-do list need to be done or does some of it fall under the banner of shoulds or keeping up appearances.

So I have this one with cleaning and we can often let go of this stuff.

Number four exploring where we are innocently making up time scales for when things need to be done and what our beliefs about what must be done and in what time frame.

If something doesn't have a hard deadline there is little point in thinking about when it will get completed.

Many things can be delayed until you have more capacity but keep thinking about them keeps us feeling overwhelmed.

Decide what can be delayed or simply taken off your to-do list and forget about it.

Number five saying no and meaning it.

Now this can be a tricky thing to get good at particularly if you're a people pleaser but it is something that is really worth the effort of practicing.

Saying to anyone who makes a request for your time or help let me think about it and I'll let you know gives us space for the answer that we really want to give.

We all have an inner knowing of yes and no within us when we aren't driven by guilt or shoulds.

So to bring this track to a close I'd just like to share a last thought with you and the thing that has been most helpful for me in this experience.

So as a person who loves a to-do list and mostly for the dopamine hit of crossing it off I think and loves to be organized which is a double-edged sword I am slowly seeing that there is an energy behind life that is living all of us.

I may have a lindsey agenda for how the day may go and what I think needs to be done but I often find that what I am moved to do and not do varies from my own agenda and what if we can rely on this energy of life to move us to what actually needs to be done.

What if it is possible to follow our inspiration in the moment about what to do rather than a never-ending list of tasks or put a different way there is a vast intelligence behind life that we can trust.

It's the energy that is spinning the planet and growing the trees and this same energy runs through us.

Another perspective on what needs to be done is what I find myself doing is what is supposed to be happening.

Now your mind won't like this but this intelligence behind life has it for me rather than little me having to figure it all out.

What we do from this space comes from an inspired feeling a deeper feeling which we can come to recognize and trust and see if you can notice this experience in your own life.

So thank you so much for listening and being here and please do leave me any questions reflections or comments I'd love to hear from you.

Bye for now.

Reviews

This was really insightful and helpful. I agree with many of your points, including that it’s less about the things on the to do list being the problem, but our thinking about them that causes the overwhelm. It’s hard to look at that but maybe there’s some empowerment too because we can choose to do it differently. Thank you.

I loved the clarity and succinctness of this talk. So much good thought presented here. There is not a lot of fluff and filler to sit through, just -boom- the good stuff. Thank you. I had not previously recognized my sense of being overwhelmed as just the emotional/thought state that it actually is until your words helped me see that it's independent of how much needs to be done. I feel overwhelmed, like, constantly--a consequence of my habitual overthinking. Wow! That's helpful! I feel like I have a choice now.

Absolutely what I needed. Very succinct, digestible and doable. Thank you!!

Very helpful reflections and tips for a healthy shift of perspective on overwhelm. 🙏

Really needed this today. I now have a clear path forward. Thank you I am very grateful. 🥰

Thank you! Very clearly explained and analysed, and so full of insight and compassion, I found it very useful. 🙏🏽🌺

I think there were about 3 lightbulb moments in there for me! Thankyou so much for sharing this track!

Incredibly valuable talk. Thank you for sharing 💚✨

Really helpful talk thank you! Confirmed some of the suspicions I had that my overthinking mind is what is making me feel overwhelmed and that it will pass if I just do nothing and don’t keep trying to overthink my way out of it. Love the metaphor about the sea. Thank you.

Great distinction and useful tips. I love the final remarks about trusting life more. Thanks

I loved the clear distinction between overwhelmed and overloaded. Lindsey reminds us how simple it really is. Great track if you’re feeling overwhelm!

Your discussion was incredibly helpful, Lindsey! When I am heading into an overwhelmed feeling, I feel more tension in my jaw and head. I also get more worried and more judgmental of myself and other people. It’s funny, really, but when I’m overwhelmed, I actually add things to my “to-do” list! 🤣 I love how you pointed me in the direction of letting my thinking naturally settle. And it’s so hopeful and freeing to explore the idea that the energy of life has our backs and is guiding us to do exactly what we need to do- which might include scrapping our “to-do” lists! I’m so grateful for this discussion- many thanks!

Love how Lindsey described the distinction between overload and overwhelm. It’s helpful to know what is happening and what can be done.