Hello,
This is Kayla of Kayla Estens and Wellness and welcome to our fourth installation of the loving kindness meditation.
We've previously done loving kindness for the self,
Loving kindness for a loved one,
And loving kindness for a stranger or acquaintance.
And this will be the final one which is loving kindness towards someone we have a difficult relationship with.
Focusing on how we can send compassion and care even when there might be tension or discomfort in a relationship.
For this one,
I encourage you to select someone who it feels comfortable enough to send loving kindness towards.
If this is a brand new practice for you or if you're just in a place where it feels a little bit more challenging today,
I would encourage you not to select someone who you have an extremely difficult relationship with or a really fresh fight or argument with,
But someone who there might be some mild tension or disagreement with.
Knowing that if you select someone and it feels really uncomfortable,
You're totally welcome to switch it to someone else who it feels a little more okay with.
Before we begin,
I encourage you to find a comfortable position.
You might choose to lay on your bed,
Lay on the floor,
Or find a comfortable seat.
Really take your time to make yourself comfortable,
Making any little adjustments as you're settling in here.
Option for the eyes to close or the gaze to drift.
Take a moment to observe the natural breath.
If it feels comfortable,
You might allow the breath to slow down,
Become a little bit deeper,
A little bit fuller.
For this practice,
I will go through a few compassionate affirmations.
We'll do a few rounds of those.
And in your mind,
You will have that person you might have a difficult relationship with in mind and imagine yourself repeating those affirmations to that person.
Knowing that if you need to change the person,
You're totally welcome to do that,
As well as if you're needing to change the affirmations.
And here know that if it does feel challenging,
You can totally bring in some affirmations that are more neutral rather than positive.
And now you can bring to mind that person.
It might be someone who the relationship is typically more positive or pleasant,
But maybe there's a little bit of tension or discomfort.
Knowing that the intention of this practice is not to give this love and kindness in a way where we diminish our own boundary,
Our own self,
Our own wants or needs in that relationship,
But rather to know that even when there's discomfort or disagreement,
We can still have that acceptance,
That compassion,
That loving kindness for someone else.
Bringing to mind that person,
We'll begin with our first round.
May you be safe.
May you be grounded.
May you be connected.
After that first round,
Just notice what comes up for you.
Checking in with how those affirmations feel.
Knowing that you can switch them up to anything that feels more fitting.
Some other examples that we've gone through in previous meditations are,
May you be supported?
May you be protected?
May you be loved?
And you might opt for some more neutral ones.
May you be healthy?
May you be content?
Knowing that it does not have to be an ultra positive affirmation to be loving kindness.
So meeting yourself where you're at,
Finding affirmations that feel comfortable enough and some amount of discomfort is totally normal here.
For many people,
This option can be the most uncomfortable,
Sending loving kindness towards someone that we have a difficult relationship with.
It's not always easy.
So some discomfort is normal.
But notice if you're feeling pain or suffering.
If so,
Allow yourself to take a step back in any way from this.
We'll begin our second round however it feels fitting for you.
Changing up the person if needed.
Changing up the affirmations as needed.
And imagining that you are affirming for this person.
May you be safe.
May you be grounded.
May you be connected.
Checking in again with where you're at.
Allowing yourself to change up what you need.
Could even be to step back a little bit from the practice if you need.
Showing up for this third and final round however feels right for you in this moment.
May you be safe.
May you be grounded.
May you be connected.
Feels comfortable.
You can take a few deeper breaths.
Being present with whatever is here in this moment.
You can gently begin to send your awareness out into this room.
Maybe adding in some gentle movements in the body.
And in your time fully returning,
Reorienting to your space.
Reopening the eyes if they've been closed.
I thank you for practicing with me again today.
And I wish you tons of loving kindness and compassion.
