Welcoming Experience And Releasing Resistance

Welcoming sensations, perceptions, thoughts, images and emotions can help us change the way we relate to difficult or distressing experiences. Specifically, helping us relate to our challenging thoughts, feelings and sensations by observing them instead of relating from them by being caught up in or identified with them.

The practice of welcoming what is can help us soften resistances or urges to numb, control or get rid of any part of our experience, which ultimately doesn’t help, it usually makes things worse. Welcoming can be the first step in gaining greater awareness and insight into our experiences, to better understand them and their cause and respond to them with choice and equanimity, rather than react automatically.

This track was recorded during a live group meditation session. The guided meditation begins 6mins into recording (6mins talk + 28mins guided meditation)
Pippa Barnes Photography

Transcript

Welcome everyone.

It's so common with meditation that we can really judge ourselves,

Perhaps if we feel that we're not having a successful meditation,

That we might assume that we're doing it wrong.

But I guess something that I've learned over the years is a lot of the benefit from meditation is to really practice moving from a state of thinking,

Which includes judgment,

Which we normally engage in our day,

Lots of thinking going on,

And moving into a state of observation where we're observing.

And in that,

When we realize we get caught in our own thinking,

And that often can be harsh on ourself,

Self-judging or criticizing ourself,

That we can remember that that too is something we can observe.

We can just observe that thinking because often we don't have a lot of control over what happens,

Certainly not what happens around us.

And I would say almost equally what happens in our own mind.

We don't really choose a lot of the thoughts that we have.

Well,

I certainly don't.

If I sit back and observe them,

I can't really say where they're coming from,

Who's choosing them.

Obviously,

I do have the power of choice,

Conscious choice in my thinking,

But yeah,

A lot of the time there is just a flow of thoughts.

So if I can realize when I get really caught up in them and step back and observe them,

That can certainly help to at least reduce the stress or suffering that can come along with really getting caught up and identifying with our own thoughts.

And one approach to doing that is to practice welcoming what we experience.

A lot of the time we can have a natural sense of resistance.

We don't like,

Perhaps we don't like how we're feeling or what's going on or what happens to us.

We naturally want to kind of change it or get rid of it.

But again,

With that observing quality,

We can notice it doesn't necessarily help.

And so by welcoming what is,

That can help us to shift back into that observer position,

Where we can watch,

Notice,

Sense and observe what happens without getting so pushed and pulled around by it.

And I think this welcoming attitude,

It can be a bit,

It can feel a bit weird,

You know,

Especially when you're dealing with pain,

Physical pain or psychological pain.

It can seem a strange approach to welcome it.

But the invitation is just to really explore for yourself what a difference that can make.

And especially when there is,

When you do recognize a sense of resisting or a desire to get rid of something that you experience,

Whether it is physical pain or mental discomfort or emotional suffering,

Challenges,

Just to play with this as an approach and see if it does help to open up a new way of relating to your experience,

As opposed to this sense of relating from it,

Getting caught up in it.

So it certainly doesn't,

It doesn't stop,

It doesn't stop these things from happening,

But I find it does make it easier to deal with them.

It makes it easier to respond in a way with choice.

So just to give you an example of that,

Often I'll find in meditation a sort of subtle form of resistance that I can notice if I'm not really,

If I'm,

Maybe there's a part of me that's getting a bit bored or doesn't really want to be meditating.

I know I can certainly start to engage in experience of hunger.

All of a sudden I'm like,

Oh,

I'm quite hungry,

I'd like to eat something.

I don't know if you've experienced this before,

But all of a sudden then,

You know,

Then my thoughts are like,

Oh yeah,

Oh,

Oh,

Pasta bragu,

Yeah,

Leftovers,

Yeah,

Whoa,

You know,

And then now all of a sudden I can't stop thinking about it and I'm experiencing feelings of hunger and I'm right in it.

The beauty is with practice I can start to identify,

Okay,

This experience is made up of thoughts,

Ah,

There's a thought,

And this thought,

There's also an image attached to it.

All of a sudden I notice the thought of,

I'm hungry,

I want to eat ragu,

And maybe there's an image as well,

An image of myself eating,

And then I can notice there's a sensation in my body that's triggered,

What I might label a feeling of hunger.

But it just gives me the opportunity to shift into this observer mode where I can just kind of see a little bit more clearly what's happening here.

And it doesn't completely remove the feeling of hunger,

But it does take some of the the urgency out of wanting to act on it.

Perhaps we can play again with this approach of welcoming what is,

Without further ado.

Feel free to start to adjust your posture in any way that is going to allow you to sit comfortably for the next 30 minutes or so.

And you might like to shuffle your backside all the way to the back of your chair.

Let your back be relatively upright to help you stay alert,

Yet also relaxed.

And perhaps if you like,

Just before closing your eyes,

If you wish to close your eyes,

Just really having a sense of where you are,

The room that you are in.

And perhaps just for a moment,

Just casually looking at the different sights that you see.

Perhaps noticing a little detail that you've not noticed before.

And just when you feel like you are aware of your place in the room,

If you would like to close your eyes,

Feel free to do so.

There's no need to though,

If you'd prefer to keep your eyes open or open them at any stage,

You're welcome to do so.

Perhaps just lowering your gaze a little,

If you're keeping your eyes open.

And you might like to begin by just in your own time,

Taking a few deep centering breaths.

Perhaps breathing as if you could breathe all the way down to the tip of your toes.

Really filling your lungs with fresh air.

And then slowly exhaling.

Taking these first few conscious breaths,

Just to help really collect your attention.

And perhaps start to release any obvious tension from your body.

Allowing your breathing to find its own natural rhythm and pace over time.

And just connecting to your deepest intention for being here today.

Perhaps to take some time for your health and well-being or to bring some inner calm or whatever your intention or goal for this time.

You might like to just remind yourself of that.

And begin to adopt this attitude of welcoming whatever you notice as you practice,

Just as you would welcome a loved one into your home.

And even if you have to fake it until you make it.

Begin to just notice what's happening right now for you.

How are you feeling right now and can you really welcome that as it is?

Perhaps just noticing how your mind is feeling.

Perhaps you've been rushing to get here and feeling a bit busy.

Maybe you've been thinking about something else this morning,

Memories from yesterday.

Conscious of a list of things you have to get done today.

Just seeing if you can notice the dominant flavor of the state of your mind and really just welcome it as it is.

And you're ready,

Beginning to turn towards your body.

And again,

Bringing this attitude of welcoming however your body is feeling right now.

Gradually beginning to shift from thinking about your body to observing with a sense of curiosity and kindness.

And perhaps starting at the very top of your head.

Really noticing how it feels,

Any sensations here at the top of your head.

And whether they are pleasant,

Unpleasant,

Neutral or numb,

Can you welcome them?

Letting your attention gently flow down into your forehead.

Feeling this part of your body with a kind and welcoming attention.

Feel your left eyebrow,

Right eyebrow,

The area between your eyebrows,

Your eyelids,

Your eyes,

All the muscles around your eyes.

Feel the top of your nose and the tip of your nose.

Begin to notice with this curious and welcoming attention,

The feeling of your breath as it flows in and out of your nostrils.

Noticing the air,

Perhaps feeling a little cooler as you breathe in,

Warmer as you breathe out.

And any time you find that your mind becomes distracted,

It's drawn into a train of thought or a sound or a sensation,

See if you can welcome that.

What use is there in resisting something that already is?

And letting your attention flow down into your top lip and your bottom lip,

And the place where your lips meet.

Feeling your ears and the back of your head.

And your neck.

And letting your attention rest in your shoulders.

Feeling your shoulder bones,

Shoulder blades,

The space between your shoulders,

The front of your upper chest,

And the top of your back.

And you might notice a subtle movement here as your body breathes in and out.

Your shoulders gently rising and falling.

Noticing your body breathing in and out.

Feeling the sensations in your chest.

And again,

Welcoming whatever arises as you give your body your attention.

It's okay that you're here.

Welcome.

As you breathe in,

Feel your chest opening and expanding on your in-breath.

As you breathe out,

Notice that natural sense of releasing and letting go.

Welcoming sensations to your chest.

Down in your belly area.

You might notice when you give your body your attention,

It seems to change.

Your breathing changes or muscles change in tension.

It's okay if you notice this.

Releasing gently any tension or holding here in your belly.

Feeling how your belly gently inflates like a balloon and deflates as you breathe in and out.

Perhaps feeling your muscles softening and loosening.

Or perhaps not.

Whatever you experience is perfectly okay,

Just as it is.

Moving your curious and welcoming attention to observe sensations in your hip and pelvis area.

Letting go of thoughts about your body,

Thoughts about sensations and feeling the raw sensations directly.

Moving your attention down into your legs,

Your lower legs,

Ankles,

Feet,

And toes.

Breathing this curious,

Welcoming attention throughout your whole body.

Noticing any sense of resistance or tension or discomfort.

And perhaps breathing in a sense of welcoming these sensations,

Breathing out and letting go of any tension,

Holding,

Resistance.

Breathing in,

Welcoming whatever sensations are here.

Breathing out and letting go.

A little bit more each time.

Noticing what sensations are here,

Breathing in and letting go.

And welcoming them,

Breathing out and letting go of any urge to get rid of them,

Change them in any way.

When you're ready,

Turning your attention from your body towards your mind,

Beginning to observe whatever thoughts or images flow through your mind with this curious and welcoming attention.

And see if you can practice observing thoughts and images and practice welcoming them too.

Noticing thoughts as they arise in your mind and breathing in a sense of welcoming,

Welcome.

Breathing out and letting go,

Letting go of the sense that you need to get rid of thoughts,

To discipline them or change them in any way,

Even welcoming the judgments and the criticisms.

Breathing in,

Welcoming however your mind is right now.

Breathing out and letting go.

And then if you like,

Turning away from watching your mind and begin to observe any emotional feelings that might be here from your day or from your week.

Again with a curious and welcoming attitude and attention,

Perhaps asking what emotional feelings are here.

Beginning to tune in to any subtle or more noticeable feelings.

Not needing to do anything with them,

But simply welcoming them,

Letting go of any resistance or desire to avoid or get rid of them.

Breathing in and welcoming however you're feeling.

Breathing out,

Letting go of any sense that it should be different,

Letting go of any judgment of yourself or any emotional feelings.

Whatever is here,

Boredom,

Irritation,

Ease,

Comfort,

Anxiety,

Expectation,

Resistance,

Welcoming it all.

And now letting your attention really open out to take in the whole moment.

You aware of your inner body,

Sensations,

Rising and falling,

Changing.

Thoughts coming and going,

Images,

Memories,

Emotional feelings,

All constantly changing,

Flowing.

Your awareness also knows the outer world,

Sounds coming and going,

Aromas in the air.

Feelings of touch on your skin,

And you the one observing it all.

Rest back and notice,

Observe the moment and how it's constantly changing.

Notice any subtle form of resistance,

Any urge to change or avoid or get rid of anything.

And see if you can notice that and instead turn towards whatever it is and welcome it instead.

Breathing in a sense of welcoming what is and breathing out,

Letting go of tension,

Tightness,

Urge to push anything away.

There is nothing to achieve here but to practice changing our relationship to our inner world,

To thoughts and feelings and sensations.

Learning to accept,

Even welcome what arises and softening the desire or hope or expectation to get rid of those things we do not like or we wish would not be here.

When we do this we can begin to see that our thoughts and expectations and desires are just words and images in the mind,

Sensations in the body.

All appearing in this silent,

Spacious background of awareness.

And these experiences can lose their power over us.

So just now letting yourself either continue to explore this approach of welcoming what is or if you prefer letting that all go and just for the next while just enjoy this moment of nowhere to be,

Nothing to do.

Just being still and quiet with yourself,

Your being,

Your presence.

Beginning to feel the natural flow of your breath again.

Noticing the subtle movements and sensations you feel as you breathe in and out.

Noticing the sensations in your body that call your attention.

Those feelings that let you know you are alive.

Noticing how you know the sounds around you,

Just as well as you know the sensations within you.

And just taking a moment just to process your meditation,

If there was any observation or insight you received or perhaps just a feeling of feeling a little slower now,

A little more easeful.

Or any other changes you notice in how you're feeling now compared to before your meditation.

And you might like to begin gently reawakening your body,

Some mindful movement,

Stretching.

Using your memory,

Your mind's eye,

Having a picture of where you are,

The room that you are in,

The people around you,

The objects.

And just very gently reawakening to the room,

Taking your time and whenever you're ready,

Opening your eyes,

Stretching fully if you need to and gradually returning back to the group.