Rx To Feel - 4. Naming

In session #4, as part of the “Rx to Feel” by E-Motion Steadiness Series, guided by Gina, Katie’s mom, we will explore the power of naming and our capacity to bring the important people we grieve into our day to day.

“Rx to Feel” by E-Motion is a self-guided audio series for grievers, by grievers. It is intentionally designed to be listened to while in motion, to help us move with, rather than away from, the hardest things. This first 12-session series focuses on finding steady ground.

Transcript

Welcome back to the Prescription to Feel Steadiness series by Emotion. My name is Gina, Katie's mom. You may have noticed that we can choose to introduce ourselves at Emotion by sharing the name of someone we are grieving and naming our relationship to them. These small acts of naming are so important to moving with our grief and I'm really grateful to get to focus on this concept today. For me, The power of naming shows up when I'm walking our dog. I say Katie's name out loud and I talk to her. I tell her about my day, Our family, And whatever is on my mind. It makes me feel close to her as I'm looking at the trees, The flowers, And the sky. It's a private time with her that brings her into my daily life and I feel connected to her. But first, We're going to ground ourselves in this moment and appreciate being here where our feet are. Find a spot that feels good to you to be still. And let's begin with three deep grounding breaths. Inhale through the nose and a long exhale through the mouth. Let's do that together three times. Now, Let's take one hand and bring it to our hearts for two gentle taps. We touch our hearts to remind ourselves to honor all of our feelings as hard as they may be. Now, Slowly and with softness, Lift your arms so they are level with your heart and stretch them out wide. Take a moment to relax your gaze and let go of comparison to others. We are going to let connection guide us today. Let's take our first step out of our stillness and start to get moving. Whether you choose to walk, Run, Bike, Hike, Or something else today, Let's take these steps together. Find a pace that feels right for you to get started. Today, We are moving with the power of names and the act of naming. Names, Especially the names of people we love who have died are deeply personal. I am so very honored and grateful to share and to hold the power of names in my heart. I am so grateful to be a part of your journey. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. I am so grateful to be a part of your story. We have so many opportunities to both say and hear their name in our day-to-day lives. This can be beautiful and it can also be jarring. At first, It may be difficult to say or hear the name of someone who has died, Knowing that we'll never be able to touch them or listen to them or be with them in this physical world. Yet at some point, Saying and hearing their name actually changes our grief. Naming our person keeps their essence alive. It integrates them into our ordinary existence, Which is what we all really want. Naming them helps us to remember and the act of remembering creates new relationships and new memories with them. All of this reinforces that their life mattered and still matters. If we really consider the word remember, It includes two parts. Re, Which means again, And member, Which is a person within a community. When we remember, We maintain a connection to the person who has died, Keeping in community with them. When we do the opposite, We dismember them. Dis means to exclude or cut off. So dismember is to cut off a person within our community. Remembering then is literally about inclusion and connection, While dismembering is about distancing ourselves or disconnecting, And disconnection is the source of loneliness. Acts of remembering can be life sustaining for grieving people. The simple acts for me are the sweetest. Her teammates and friends wearing her name on a wristband or athletic tape during a game, Her friends and family sharing artwork, Tattoos, Journal entries, Or letters to her with her name in them. These are all so, So special to me. They're small acts that mean so much. It shows they remember. We are about to move into our three minutes of quiet. During this time, Let's try a naming practice. If you are here because of the loss of a person, Try saying their name aloud. If another kind of grief brings you here, Or if speaking your person's name is too intense, Try instead speaking what feels most difficult to name about your heartbreak. As you move, Try repeating their name or that feeling a few times. Notice how it feels to hear yourself speak, To hear how your voice sounds. Is it strong and loud? Are you whispering? Let any feelings that come up from this roll through you, Tapping your heart when needed. We'll move into this quiet chime of the bell. I'll be here with you. Welcome back. I'm curious how that naming practice went for you. What did you notice in your body when you said aloud your person's name or a big feeling that you had? What might it feel to bring a naming practice into your day-to-day life? Are there ways you may be able to invite others that you trust to say their name aloud more often? If you're feeling particularly drawn to this naming practice, Try writing your person's name or that hard feeling down in the sand, Snow, Dirt, Clay, Or wherever you wrap your head. Next time, Consider also writing their name on a piece of paper, Folding it up, And putting it in your sock, Taking them with you every step forward. Maybe even try this in places you've traveled together and in places they never had the chance to go. We are nearing the end of our movement today, So I'm going to close with this quote by Dr. Joanne Cachetort from her incredible book on grief called Bearing the Unbearable. She writes, When we remember our beloved dead, We bridge the gap of space and time between us and them and bring them back into the whole of our reality. Particularly when life has regained a tempo of comfort, Surrendering to grief is an act of necessary courage. Thank you for sharing your person with the eMotion community today. I'm Gina, Katie's mom. We'll see you next time. Prescription to Feel is a series created by eMotion, An organization on a mission to change the way the world relates to grief and loss. Learn more at emotion-mc. Org or find eMotion on Instagram at weare-emotion. Thanks for moving with us.