Rx To Feel - 2. Getting To Quiet

In session #2, as part of the Rx to Feel by E-Motion Steadiness Series, guided by Charlie, Cameron’s dad, listeners are invited to explore the theme of "Getting to Quiet." This concept invites listeners to tap into the wisdom and healing that comes in moments of quiet.

“Rx to Feel” by E-Motion is a self-guided audio series for grievers, by grievers. It is intentionally designed to be listened to while in motion, to help us move with, rather than away from, the hardest things. This first 12-session series focuses on finding steady ground.

Transcript

Hi everyone.

Welcome back to the Prescription to Feel Steadiness series by eMotion.

By being here you are moving alongside a community of grievers who are supporting one another to move with the hardest things.

My name is Charlie,

Cameron's dad,

And I'll be moving alongside you today as we consider the power of quiet.

I came to truly appreciate the power of quiet the evening that we got Cameron's diagnosis.

I'd been practicing breathing exercises for a few months for stress and then decided to learn more about meditation when I learned that my nephew had been diagnosed with Tay-Sachs,

Only to find out two weeks later,

In October of 1999,

That Cameron may be affected as well.

So that evening I took a book called The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings to the Charles River an hour before we were going to meet with our pediatrician and as guided by Thich Nhat Hanh,

The author and a Buddhist monk,

I sat with my grief.

I laid it at the foot of the Buddha and looked deeply into it.

I was terribly sad and also lifted up and that moment carried me through her diagnosis and the whole next week.

So let's get started with our grounding rituals.

If you can,

Find a quiet place outside where you can be still.

You can keep your eyes open or closed.

I'm going to close mine.

We'll start with three deep grounding breaths,

Helping us to be where our feet are.

Take one inhale through the nose and a long exhale through the mouth.

At the end of your exhale,

Wiggle your toes,

Helping your breath to land all the way down at your feet and steady us on solid ground.

Let's do that together three times.

Okay,

We are here.

I love the wiggling the toes part.

Now we create space to honor all feelings,

Opening ourselves to this with two taps on our heart.

These taps are a gentle reminder that whatever comes up for today,

While we move,

It's okay.

We're going to try our best to move with all of it.

Now slowly and with softness,

Lift your arms so they're level with your heart.

Stretch them out wide with a slight bend in your elbows and imagine that you are embracing the space in front of you.

Let connection rather than comparison be our guide as we move today.

We're ready to get moving.

Remember that whether you're walking,

Running,

Hiking,

Or biking,

Take this at your own pace and one step at a time.

I'm feeling like a run.

I know that will feel good right now,

So I'll be running gently alongside you.

For those of you who track your heart rate,

I'm going to stay in zone two,

Which is a gentle,

Gentle run.

I'm going to pause for a few seconds as we find our stride.

Today we are exploring ways to get quiet.

You've probably noticed that we already integrate getting to quiet in our sessions by practicing our quiet movement.

During our time together today,

We'll discuss why this is important and reflect on ways to integrate this into our practice during both these sessions and in our lives beyond this series.

Getting to quiet is hard,

Really hard.

The world is loud and our minds are busy,

But if we can create moments in our day to access the wisdom of quiet,

We are better for it.

Quiet can be scary at first.

Quiet can bring us to our knees.

In working with our grief,

It's in these moments of knee-buckling pain and anguish that we sometimes let grief transform us,

Lifting us into becoming fuller versions of ourself.

If we stay too busy or too engulfed by noise,

We miss out on this transformative power of grief.

Parker Palmer,

An author and activist,

Teaches that,

Quote,

The experiences we have,

The people we walk with,

The signs and signals we pick up,

These come to us by asking good questions about their meaning and an importance in the living of our lives.

It's only in quiet that we can activate that kind of discernment.

This practice of seeking wisdom through quiet can be healing because it helps us to get to know ourselves.

It helps us to listen to what we are wrestling with.

It pushes us to ask ourselves whether someone or something is still serving us,

And if it isn't,

To let it go.

It gives us the time and space to know what we need to be okay,

If only briefly.

Getting to quiet is important when moving with our grief because it opens a portal to consider some of the deepest and most important aspects of ourselves and our grief and our relationships.

Quiet begs us to move toward these things and not away from them through avoidance and disassociation.

Like I said,

Getting to quiet is hard,

I know.

It has taken me some trial and error to find practices to help me get to quiet.

It was really hard at first and it still continues to be,

But one practice that I've come to appreciate that helps me get quiet is called Centering Prayer.

You can pray to whoever or whatever you choose.

This practice was described by a 13th century monk in a book called The Cloud of the Unknowing.

So in Centering Prayer,

We pick a word that grounds us.

Mine is prana,

Which means the life force.

Begin with an intention.

Mine is a direct experience of God,

But you could say nature or peace.

And then I think,

Into your hands I commend my spirit.

Then simply center yourself inside and sit quietly.

If your mind wanders,

You simply say your centering word quietly to yourself as a gentle,

Gentle reminder to return to quiet.

We'll be practicing quiet movement together throughout this series.

As a gentle reminder,

I'm going to be quiet for three minutes and give you space to move with what's coming up for you in this moment.

Our three minutes of quiet will open and close with the gentle sound of a chime.

Feel free to push pause and extend the time if you want.

This time is for you.

Today,

As we move through our quiet time,

Consider ways you can truly experience quiet when life feels like it's getting particularly loud or heavy.

Try tuning into a mantra,

A color,

A shape,

Your breath,

Your word,

Your footsteps,

Or anything else that feels like a safe anchor to give your mind a break from its noisy existence.

If the Centering Prayer practice resonated with you,

I invite you to try that.

Remember,

This quiet time is for you.

It starts with the chime of the bell,

And I'll be right here.

Welcome back.

We are practicing getting to quiet today,

Not only in the absence of the sound of my voice or this recording,

But quiet inside of ourselves.

I'm curious what came up for you during that quiet movement.

How does it being in quiet feel to you?

What did you notice,

And how did your grief show up or not during this quiet movement?

If there's something you'd like to take from this exploration,

Feel free to take a moment right now and make a note in your phone or just make a mental note to yourself.

If you feel like you need to hear the questions again,

Please feel free to rewind.

Quieting the noise within and around us is an important practice in our journey towards steadiness.

It's so powerful that we include quiet movement in every emotion session.

We're approaching the end of our time together,

But I invite you to take some more time and quiet after I say goodbye or revisit this session again to keep practicing.

Before we go,

I'd love to share a poem that I think captures so beautifully what we are practicing here today.

It's called The Quiet Machine by Ada Limon.

I'm learning so many different ways to be quiet.

There's how I stand in the lawn,

That's one way.

There's also how I stand in the field across from the street,

That's another way because I'm farther from people and therefore more likely to be alone.

There's how I don't answer the phone and how I sometimes like to lie down on the floor in the kitchen and pretend I'm not home when people knock.

There's daytime silent when I stare and a nighttime silent when I do things.

Thank you for joining us as we practice moving with the hardest things together,

Finding steadiness within ourselves and in this community.

I'm Charlie Cameron's dad and this is Prescription to Feel by eMotion.

Prescription to Feel is a series created by eMotion,

An organization on a mission to change the way the world relates to grief and loss.

Learn more at emotion-mc.

Org or find eMotion on Instagram at weare-emotion.

Thanks for moving with us.