This meditation is designed to help people experiencing a moment of attachment panic or fear of rejection or abandonment.
This meditation is designed to help you connect to your calm and grounded center.
These experiences can be really overwhelming.
You are not alone and I'm here to walk alongside you as you tap into your inner resources for navigating this moment.
To begin,
Find a position that's as comfortable as possible,
Whether sitting,
Lying down,
Or even curled up with a cozy blanket.
Notice the sensation of your body being supported by the surface beneath you.
Feel the points of contact between your body and what's supporting you.
And then we're going to take a few deep breaths to calm and regulate your nervous system.
When you're ready,
Taking a deep breath in through the nose all the way down to the belly and then sighing it out slowly through the mouth.
And then another deep breath in and a slow sigh out.
And then one last deep breath all the way down to the belly and one last slow sigh out through the mouth.
You may notice that even a few deep breaths begins the process of releasing the tension you've been experiencing and begins to bring a bit more calm to the body.
And if you're not noticing that just yet,
That's completely okay too.
And now you can release control of the breath and just let yourself notice the natural rhythm of your breath moving in and out of the body.
Your breath is always here for you,
Always accessible,
And always a way to soothe and regulate your nervous system.
And if it feels comfortable,
Now I invite you to rub your palms together to warm them and then place one hand on your heart and another hand on your belly.
Feel the warmth of your own touch and notice any sense of comfort that might naturally arise from this grounding,
Soothing touch.
This is a reminder that you have the resources to offer yourself comfort and to care for any emotions that arise.
Now gently bring awareness to the feelings of relationship uncertainty or anxiety you've been experiencing.
You don't need to analyze it or fix it,
Just notice where you feel it most in the body.
Maybe it's a tightness in your chest or throat,
A knot in your stomach,
Or tension in the shoulders.
Gently label whatever you notice in the body,
Maybe noting tension or heat or vibrating.
Say to yourself,
My body is experiencing an emotion.
You may actually notice multiple different emotions,
And if so,
You might label them like anxiety or fear or loneliness.
You may notice that naming what you're experiencing helps create just a bit of space between you and the feeling.
Now expand your awareness to notice your entire body,
Which is holding and containing this feeling.
While there may be intense sensations in certain areas,
Bring gentle attention to the parts of your body that feel neutral or even comfortable in this moment.
For example,
Maybe your hands feel warm or tingly,
Maybe your feet feel grounded or sturdy,
Maybe your back feels supported.
Notice that even as uncomfortable feelings exist in some parts of the body,
There are other parts that remain calm,
Steady,
Or neutral.
Notice how there are resources and refuge within your own body,
Even in difficult moments.
With each in-breath,
Imagine you are fortifying this steadiness that already exists within you,
Reminding you that you have the strength to hold any feelings that arise.
With each out-breath,
You might experiment with softening around the difficult feelings,
Creating a container of spaciousness and ease around the edges of these feelings.
Breathing in,
Steadiness.
Breathing out,
Softening.
And as you continue to breathe,
Remember that your body is experiencing a natural,
Temporary reaction from an attachment system.
You are not alone in feeling this way sometimes.
So many others know these exact feelings,
And it's okay for these feelings to be here right now.
Remember that this system formed when you were very little,
And closeness was necessary for your survival.
No wonder the emotions can get so big.
This part of you has been working hard to protect you.
Notice if this part of you is telling any stories about what is happening or might happen.
Maybe stories like,
They're gonna leave,
Or I've ruined everything,
Or always be alone.
Notice that these are just thoughts coming from the attachment panic,
And you are in control of how to relate to these thoughts in the moment.
Rather than arguing with them,
Or believing them,
Or following them down a path of more thoughts and more stories,
You can instead choose to imagine that these thoughts are coming from a young part of you.
You can imagine this young part of you feeling afraid right now.
Notice if any flickers of compassion,
Warmth,
Or care naturally arise for this young part feeling scared.
And if warmth or care has not yet arisen,
You might simply set an intention to practice compassionate thoughts and actions in this moment.
And as you connect with that intention for compassion,
You might allow your body to make any movements or gestures that might feel comforting or wanted in this moment.
You might notice an impulse to place a gentle hand on the area of your body where you most sense this young,
Scared part of you.
Or maybe it feels soothing to give yourself a hug,
Crossing your arms with your right hand under your left armpit,
And your left hand resting on your right shoulder.
Remember that there's no correct way to offer yourself physical comfort.
You can simply practice trusting the wisdom of your body to know how to soothe itself.
And if you're new to this practice and you notice awkwardness or uncertainty arising,
That's natural and it's okay to feel as you build this unfamiliar skill.
As you breathe into this soothing posture,
Allow yourself to send kindness to this younger part.
You might say something like,
It makes sense you feel this way.
Anyone with your experiences would feel the same.
I'm here with you.
Remember that this young part carries wounds that were never their fault.
They may not yet be aware of all the wisdom and resources that you have now as an adult.
What might this younger self need to hear from you?
What reassurance would help them feel safe?
Notice how the younger part responds to your presence.
Notice any sense of feeling heard or cared for,
Even if it's just a small shift.
How does that feel in your body?
Remember that in this moment of vulnerability,
You're experiencing a fundamental human experience.
Everyone knows fear,
Loneliness,
And uncertainty.
All of us are navigating our lives and relationships as best we can.
All of us seeking safety and love.
Notice also any feelings of warmth,
Care,
Tenderness,
Or compassion that might be present.
This is also part of the human experience.
Even if you don't yet feel warmth for yourself in this moment,
That capacity exists like a seed beneath winter soil.
Not yet visible,
But alive with potential.
The act of turning toward yourself with intention,
As you're doing now,
Is powerful.
You're strengthening neural connections that make caring for yourself in times of distress more and more accessible.
And so you may take a moment to thank yourself for showing up for yourself today.
And we can bring this practice to a close with one more deep breath all the way down to the belly.
And one last slow,
Soothing breath out as you prepare to return to your day with more steadiness and groundedness.
Remembering that you can return to these tools anytime you need.
Support is always available.
Thank you for practicing with me.
