His House: Chapter 9 – Doppelganger | Story & Reflection

Doppelganger explores the moment we come face to face with ourselves. In this chapter, the traveler returns after the war, intent on helping the wounded, only to discover that the true blindness lies not in others’ pain but in her own expectations. Guided once again through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, she meets her reflection and learns that she was never meant to change others, only to love them.

This chapter invites you to look gently at your own mirrors—the versions of you that act from love, and those that act from pride—and to see how every encounter in the Valley leads you closer to wisdom.

Background music by Liborio Conti.

Transcript

Welcome to His House,

A parable of spiritual intimacy,

By me,

Judy Boozer.

This story is a parable,

A spiritual journey told through metaphor,

Inviting you beyond information and into experience.

Now before we begin,

I want to share a brief note about language.

Throughout His House,

God is presented using masculine pronouns.

This isn't because I believe God is male,

But because as a woman,

I wanted to capture the experience of intimacy with a being whose thought process and essence felt entirely different from my own.

To do that,

I chose the other side of the human duality,

Masculinity,

To represent the divine within this story.

My hope is that,

Regardless of gender,

You hear beyond the words,

Into the relationship,

The longing,

And the love that the story reveals.

Each chapter opens a window into the soul's walk toward the divine,

A walk that moves through symbols,

Emotions,

And revelation.

To fully enter this journey,

It helps to begin not with the mind,

But with the heart.

These moments aren't meant to be hurried or analyzed,

They're meant to be felt.

So before we begin Chapter 9,

Doppelganger,

We'll take a few quiet moments together to slow down,

Breathe,

And become present body,

Mind,

And spirit,

So that you can experience the story rather than simply hear it.

Take a slow breath in through your nose,

And release it gently through your mouth.

Let your shoulders soften.

Let your jaw unclench.

Let the pace of your day begin to fall away.

Feel the support beneath you,

The ground,

The chair,

The earth.

You are safe here.

You are held.

Another slow,

Deep breath in,

And out.

With each breath,

Let your awareness move closer to this moment,

Closer to stillness.

There's nothing to prove,

Nothing to produce,

Just this space to be.

Now imagine yourself standing on a quiet path.

The air around you is calm,

Almost expectant.

Somewhere ahead,

There's a soft light,

A glow you can't quite see clearly yet,

But it calls to something deep within you.

This light,

This call,

Is the beginning of your journey to his house.

Breathe deeply again,

And as you do,

Let go of whatever might distract you.

The noise,

The planning,

The worries,

The waiting.

Let them rest beside the path for now.

Whisper inwardly,

I am here.

I am listening.

I am ready.

Stay with that readiness for one more slow,

Deep breath.

Now gently,

Let's begin Chapter 9,

Doppelganger.

There was only so much I could do here.

I stood in the middle of the road with my hands on my hips and looked around.

Since the war had ended,

Travelers had started coming through this way again.

I smiled at a couple as they passed me,

Whispering between themselves,

So in love with each other that they couldn't notice anything else.

A group of new believers gathered around the burnt signpost behind me,

Singing softly and leaving memorials for those they'd lost.

It was time for me to go.

I walked down the path to the Valley of the Shadow of Death and walked out onto the crossroads I had just left.

I looked around,

Confused.

Maybe I'd gotten lost in the valley.

I turned back around and walked into the Valley of the Shadow of Death and out onto the crossroads I had just left.

A thought flashed across my mind that he had rejected me,

That he had closed the door and I wasn't allowed to return.

Then I felt his hand on my shoulder.

In relief,

I hugged him tightly.

He smiled and stepped back,

Opening an umbrella to cover us from the sprinkles that had started to fall.

He waved at the other side of the road and I looked.

There I was.

I mean,

I was there and I was here.

I was in both places.

I looked at him.

I was even more confused.

This is the Valley of the Shadow of Death,

He said.

How many forms did this thing take?

It was like going down the rabbit hole.

The farther you went,

The weirder it got.

See yourself,

He said,

And suddenly we were beside the other me as she tried to help the sign worshipers from both sides.

I saw frustration and disbelief on her face as they rejected her help in order to be offended with each other,

Choosing to be in pain by withholding forgiveness.

Without warning,

The scene stopped.

Tell me why you wanted to come here after the war,

He said.

Well,

After the war,

I thought that there might be hurt people who needed help.

Then why were you frustrated when these worshipers didn't want help?

They obviously didn't believe they needed it.

Okay,

I see what you're saying.

I did feel frustrated,

But mostly shocked.

I could see that they were in pain,

But they would rather be in pain and have a reason to hate the other side than be whole because it required them to let go.

I didn't expect that.

I thought that they would see that they needed help as easily as I could see that they needed help.

What help do you think they needed?

Well,

Their eyes were damaged.

They couldn't see.

They had wounds and burns.

The balm of Gilead in my bag would have helped them.

Are you sure?

My time with him had taught me that when he asked if I was sure,

I probably shouldn't be.

Why did the war start?

He asked.

You said it was because of ego,

Because they hadn't made the journey through the valley of the shadow of death.

They started the war because they couldn't see reality.

All they could see was their own version of it.

The wounds to their eyes weren't caused by the war.

They were the cause of the war.

The balm of Gilead wasn't made for this type of wound.

He smiled at me with such love and affection that I could have lived a lifetime in that moment.

In an instant,

I realized that I loved him so much more than I ever thought I could love anyone.

See yourself,

He said,

And immediately we were beside the other me as she jumped into the ditch,

Searching for the source of the whimpering.

I saw fear on her face,

But not fear of harm.

I saw fear born of genuine concern.

I saw her find the other woman and eagerly apply the balm.

Then I saw her face fall as the woman held out her dead baby.

I almost cried with the other me.

The scene stopped again.

Why did you jump into that ditch?

He asked.

I thought I heard a sound of pain and I just jumped.

I don't know that there was a reason.

I just reacted.

You could have been hurt,

You know.

There could have been snakes in there or a bomb.

I paused.

I hadn't considered that.

You weren't thinking of yourself in that moment.

You thought someone might be hurt and hidden.

Your heart went out to whoever it was and your body followed.

He said softly.

I nodded.

He smiled again.

See yourself.

I saw the scene after he'd left with the woman and her child.

I saw myself return to the worshippers and,

Again,

Try to convince them to accept my help.

Why did you come here after the war?

I'm not sure what you mean,

I said.

You said that you wanted to help those who were wounded,

Yet after I left,

You returned to the same people who didn't want your help.

You didn't continue looking for the hidden wounded.

You didn't help the other wounded you could see.

I guess I thought that I could convince them to let me help them.

You mean that you thought you could convince them to change.

He looked at me like he could see everything.

He saw into every corner and even the shadows were bright to him.

I smiled weakly.

Yes,

I guess I thought that if I could convince them to let me help them,

They would stop being so angry with each other.

You thought you could stop the war.

Maybe.

I didn't realize it then,

But maybe.

When you leapt into the ditch to help a person you couldn't even see,

You acted out of love.

When you kept trying to help people who didn't want your help,

You acted out of pride and the desire to change them,

To control them.

You weren't made to change people.

You were made to love them.

Do you see the difference?

I do.

Trying to help people who didn't want my help wasn't wrong,

But it did delay me in helping those who did want it and were ready to accept it.

That's a good point,

He said,

Nodding in agreement.

The valley of the shadow of death helps you to make better decisions.

Decisions not based on right or wrong,

But on wisdom.

By the way,

What happened with the woman and her child?

I asked,

Turning toward him.

I took them to my house and healed her daughter.

Both have spent the last few days healing and resting.

I don't know if I've ever told you this,

But I love children.

I've spent the last few days rocking the baby to sleep and singing lullabies like a papa.

There's nothing quite so perfect as rocking a little one to sleep.

With them nestled on your chest and their head under your chin.

I chuckled to myself at the image of him with an expression of perfect bliss,

Falling asleep with a baby in his arms.

I honestly didn't know who rocked whom to sleep.

He closed the umbrella and turned toward his house.

Are you ready to go,

He asked.

I am,

I said,

And I was.

Before we close,

Take a slow,

Steady breath.

Sometimes we believe that love looks like fixing what's broken.

That to care deeply means convincing others to see what we see.

But true love never forces,

Never controls.

It responds from wisdom,

Not from the need to be right or to rescue.

This chapter invites us to pause and notice where our care has turned into control.

Where our good intentions have shifted from compassion to pride.

The valley of the shadow of death reveals those subtle differences,

Not to shame us,

But to refine us.

Teaching us how to love without attachment to outcome.

Quietly ask yourself,

Where in your life are you trying to convince,

Fix,

Or change someone who isn't ready?

How does it feel different when you shift from trying to change someone to simply loving them?

What helps you discern when it's time to step back and trust that someone's healing is between them and the divine?

What wisdom might the valley be trying to teach you about surrender and timing?

The journey through the valley is never about punishment,

It's always about purification.

It's where our love becomes freer,

Wiser,

And truer.

As you move through your own valleys,

May you learn to offer love the way God does.

Open-handed,

Unforced,

And full of grace.

When you love like that,

You carry the fragrance of love wherever you go.

You become the medicine.