Welcome to this meditation for relationship repair,
A gentle guide to reconnecting with yourself and your partner,
Moving from reactivity to your inner wise adult self.
I invite you to find a comfortable,
Supportive space where there is little to no chance you will be interrupted.
At the same time,
If you're multitasking,
Caring for a child,
Preparing a meal,
Doing the laundry,
Taking care of the many things that occupy our day,
Know that mindfulness and this practice of repair can meet you exactly where you are.
Let this be an experience of nurturance and support for you,
However life is unfolding.
Before we begin,
I invite you to set an intention for this meditation.
It could be as simple as,
May this practice bring me more peace,
Or may I approach my partner with greater compassion,
Curiosity,
And openness.
Whatever your intention that arises,
Hold it gently in your heart as we move forward.
And now I invite you to invite that intention forward,
Say it to yourself three times,
And then allow it to dissolve into the background.
As we begin,
I invite you to close your eyes,
Or if you're in the midst of a necessary task,
Gently soften your gaze and begin to bring attention to your breath,
Noticing your inhale and your exhale.
If your body feels unsettled after conflict or disharmony,
Invite in any resources in your space that feel supportive and nourish you.
It could be a picture,
A sound,
And focusing on that and allowing that resource to invite calm into the body.
And now tuning into your breath,
I invite you to inhale for four seconds,
And then exhale for five seconds.
Go ahead and do this breath for a few cycles.
And then,
As it feels comfortable,
Begin to extend the exhale to six,
Seven,
Or eight seconds,
Whatever feels most in alignment with your rhythm.
And with each extended out breath,
Notice how your body settles and how the calm of your parasympathetic nervous system begins to support you.
When your mind wanders,
Gently return it to your breath.
Now I invite you to bring to your mind's eye a beloved person or animal.
It could be a child,
A dear friend,
A grandparent,
A pet,
Someone or some being who naturally evokes your love and care.
Picture them as clearly as possible,
Noticing the small details and all the colors.
Allow it to be the most beautiful cinematography in your mind.
And as you envision them,
Allow the warmth and love you feel for them to expand with your chest as your breath expands.
Let this loving energy radiate and fill your whole body.
And as you feel this energy,
I invite you to look them in their eyes.
From this state of loving connection,
Share this affirmation with them.
The beauty I see in you,
And then offer an adjective to describe the beauty that arises intuitively from you.
Offer this affirmation in gratitude,
Love,
And connection.
And as they receive it,
Notice how they respond.
Soak in that connection between the two of you.
And then invite them to go ahead and stand behind you.
They haven't left,
They've just moved into the background.
And in the foreground,
I invite you to bring forward an image of yourself when you were a child,
Or as your wise elder self.
Allow this image to become as colorful,
As alive as you can.
And I invite you to look deeply into the eyes of this version of yourself.
Then offer them this loving affirmation.
The beauty I see in you,
And whatever adjectives arise.
And then notice how the self,
As you younger or older,
Receives this affirmation.
Feel the response in your body.
And when your mind drifts away,
Redirect it back into this connection.
Then invite your younger or elder self to step behind you,
Joining the beloved person or animal.
Now I invite you to bring an image of your partner to your mind's eye.
I invite you to bring in all the colors,
Sights,
Sounds of your partner.
Again,
As beautiful a cinematography as you can create in your mind.
You might still feel the charge of a recent conflict,
And that is okay.
I invite you to imagine your partner as they were as a child,
Or as their wise elder self.
Look deeply into their eyes,
And offer the same affirmation.
The beauty I see in you,
And whatever adjective arises.
Notice their response,
And notice how it feels in your body.
If you're still feeling a charge,
I invite you to repeat this affirmation,
And notice the tension as it melts.
With each breath,
And each repeat of the affirmation,
Allow the compassion,
Love,
And understanding within you to grow.
Notice how the past may fall away into the warmth of your loving awareness.
Expand this energy outward,
Beyond your partner,
Beyond the beloved person or pet,
Beyond your wise adult elder self or your child self,
Out beyond the room you're in,
To your family,
To your community,
To the world at large.
See this energy,
Nurturing peace,
Love,
And trust.
And as we close this practice,
Take another deep breath in.
Exhale,
Slowly feeling any lingering tension release.
Gently open your eyes,
Or allow your softened gaze to hone in on the things in the space around you.
Remember,
You can return to this space of compassion,
Connection,
And love whenever you need it.
You can return to the meditation,
The beauty I see in you,
Whenever moments of tension,
Disharmony,
Rupture arises.
Whenever a trigger part of you shows up.
And you can return to the love and care you feel for yourself and your partner.
Much love.
Take care.
