Invitation To Self Love

In this guided meditation, Cassandra invites you onto a journey of self love. Often times people reject self love when they feel it is a selfish act. Cassandra dispels that theory and invites you into radical self love that opens us up to have more capacity to love all. Music by Modality Waves at 432 Hz.

Transcript

Thank you for joining me today for this guided meditation,

And as we get started I just invite you to find a comfortable seat,

Wherever you're at,

Whatever that looks like for you.

Maybe it's a comfy chair,

Maybe it's a comfy couch,

Maybe you're in your car,

Maybe you're laying in your bed,

But I just invite you to notice that the seat that you have chosen is holding you.

In this moment and in this time,

You are being held.

You are not untethered,

You are not ungrounded,

You are here and you are present in this moment.

And there might be lots that's kind of filling your head and filling your mind,

Filling your heart,

Filling your body.

You might have entered into this guided meditation with a lot on your plate.

I just invite you to set it down for a moment,

It'll still be there when you're done,

It's not going anywhere,

But maybe just for this moment you can set it down,

So maybe even visualize yourself with that plate full of all the things and just set it down on a table next to you.

As thoughts roll in,

You can just allow gravity to pull those down to the floor,

We can pick them back up when we're all done.

But for right now,

You have chosen to show up for you.

And in this meditation,

We're going to be focusing on self-love.

And I know that oftentimes when people hear the word self-love,

They kind of get mixed up with selfishness,

It's kind of hard to love yourself without feeling selfish.

So I want to kind of take a moment and kind of differentiate between self-love and selfishness.

Because selfishness is actually the inability to love the deepest,

Darkest parts of you to the point of needing to reach out and use things,

People,

All kinds of other medicators in order to satisfy a deeper wound that is found within yourself that you have not yet been able to love.

And so when you can love others,

The deepest and darkest parts of others,

Without actually loving the deepest and darkest parts of yourself,

Usually that love is being done through codependency or people pleasing.

But when you can actually look at the deepest and darkest parts of yourself,

And you can have deep love and compassion for those parts,

It actually opens up your capacity to be able to love others in their deepest and darkest times too.

And it doesn't justify harmful behavior.

It allows it all to make sense.

So we don't have to sift through all of the ways in which that shows up in our life in this moment.

But in this moment,

I'm going to invite you into an act of self-love,

Specifically for the parts of yourself that you find hard to love,

For the parts of yourself that you're disappointed in,

That you're frustrated with,

And that maybe you don't like.

It's hard to do,

I know.

Maybe just for a moment we can do it.

So as we enter into this,

I invite you to scan your body and notice where you just have some discomfort,

Or tightness,

Or bracing.

Even as we're talking about loving parts of yourself that you do not love,

Chances are you're bracing in some kind of way,

Kind of turning away,

Like you don't want to look at it.

And I'm only inviting you to look at the things that you have the capacity to look for in this moment.

You don't have to look at the ugliest parts,

Or the most disappointing parts,

But I do want to invite you to draw your attention to some dark parts,

Some parts that you do not like.

And so you can just pick one,

Maybe pick one,

Maybe pick two.

I just want you to check in,

What are some responses that you've had,

Or parts of you that you're not really happy with right now?

Is it your anxiety?

Are you frustrated with your anxiety?

Is it disassociation?

Is it the numbness that you feel,

Where you feel like you can't connect to others?

Is it anger?

Are you displeased with your anger?

Maybe it's your short fuse.

Maybe it's when you snap at your kids.

Maybe it's procrastination.

Not knowing that there's things that you should do,

And that you want to do,

But you can't do,

And you're frustrated with yourself.

Maybe it's that you haven't been able to be honest.

You find yourself lying,

And hiding.

Whatever it may be,

Maybe just pick one or two.

And as we look at these parts of us that make it hard for us to love ourselves with,

I'm going to invite you to do this exercise without judgment.

And I recognize that's really hard.

That can be really,

Really hard.

It's so much easier to judge those parts of ourselves that we do not like,

Than it is to accept them.

But in this exercise,

I'm going to invite you to turn towards them with kindness.

Kindness and curiosity.

And if you can,

Gratitude.

And to actually take a moment to say,

Thank you,

This association,

For protecting me.

Right?

Thank you for making me numb in this moment where I feel like I can't feel,

Or that it's dangerous to connect to other people.

Because the harm that has been done to me,

Thank you,

Disassociation,

For being there as a shield.

Thank you,

Anxiety,

For getting my blood pumping and my heart racing,

And getting me ready to run from a bear,

Or to run or to fight from danger.

Because the life I have lived has been a dangerous one.

Thank you,

Anxiety,

For keeping me on high alert,

For keeping me safe.

Thank you,

Anger.

Thank you,

Anger,

For showing up and showing me and teaching me when there's been an injustice that has happened to me,

Or when there's been a violation done to me.

Thank you,

Anger,

For showing me that I am worth more than what has been done to me.

Thank you,

Procrastination,

For keeping me busy,

Keeping me distracted from all the other things that actually need my time and attention.

Thank you,

Grief and sadness,

For allowing me to see what I truly love.

Thank you,

Depression,

For laying me down in my bed and causing me to not get up,

Because right now life is too much to bear.

Thank you.

I invite you just to breathe into that for a few minutes.

I invite you to recheck in with your body.

What does that feel like?

To actually have compassion for the parts of you that you do not love,

Instead of judgment?

Is the bracing eased?

Is it a little bit easier to breathe?

Because all those parts of us that we do not love,

Most of them are there to protect us.

And if they're not there to protect us,

They're there protecting us from something.

Because those responses and those reactions are just a byproduct of our nervous system saying,

We want you here so bad.

We want you alive so bad.

We will do whatever it takes to keep you alive.

If that means that we need to numb out,

Be hypervigilant,

Be angry,

Whatever comes up,

Our body will do whatever it can do to keep us alive,

Because it knows our value.

It knows our deep,

Deep worth and our place on this planet.

And when you can begin,

Each day,

To turn inward and to love those parts of yourself that you are not happy with,

When you can lay down the judgment,

And when you can lean in with kindness and curiosity to what's happening inside of you,

When you can give that kind of love to yourself,

It opens you up to have such capacity to extend that to those around you.

And again,

That doesn't mean that we excuse harmful behavior,

Or that sometimes those boundaries aren't necessary.

It just simply means that we are able to love people even on their darkest day.

We can only love others to the extent in which we love ourselves.

And that is not selfish.

I invite you to take a few more moments.

Just be with whatever's coming up right now.

Breathe into it,

Maybe journal about it,

Maybe call a friend.

And most importantly,

As you go out through your day,

Be kind to yourself.