Playful Awareness Of Awareness

This is a shamatha meditation (sometimes called "concentration" or "calm abiding" meditation). This meditation does not use a conventional object, but instead guides you to use awareness itself as the object of awareness. It begins by opening into awareness, broadly, then slowly unveils a technique for working with awareness and with distracting phenomena. The phenomena that push their way to the forefront of awareness become a window into the openness and vibrancy of awareness.

Image Creator: Lucas Zimmermann
Copyright: Luma Photography

Transcript

Welcome,

Friends.

Today we're going to engage in a practice that is taught by Thogme Rinpoche.

This is a Samatha practice that gathers together the attention and the mind into something a bit like a single point in order to develop stability of mind and emotion and presence of energy.

So what we're going to be doing today is we're going to be focusing on awareness of awareness itself and just really resting in that very openly.

So this is a gentle practice.

In some ways it's a bit like falling asleep while remaining vividly,

Lucidly awake,

If that makes any sense.

And so we're going to want to take a seated position comfortably,

Whether that's in a chair or on a cushion,

Preferably something to support your butt so that your back can be straight.

And we're going to place our hands where we please and take a deep breath in and out.

And let's go.

Now beginning this practice,

We rest openly,

Open everything.

We open the mind,

We open the muscles,

We open the body,

The skin,

We open the bones,

We open the emotions,

Everything wide open.

We even open our eyes at least a little bit,

Maybe all the way,

Maybe just a sliver.

And we can rest our eyes,

Our vision,

On an object in front of us.

It doesn't really matter what it is.

But when we rest our mind,

Our mind rests very openly.

We take a panoramic view.

Our eyes are focused on an object loosely,

But our mind is wide open,

Panoramic,

Not fixated on the object in front of you or any other object,

Not fixated on sounds or the body or anything else.

So this is just a very open,

Resting posture.

And we relax into that for a moment,

Just relaxing into the openness.

Wherever we feel any sort of tightening or grasping,

We just release that and open again.

And we're going to find that our mind still jumps around.

It does its own thing,

And that's fine.

We're not fighting our mind.

We're not fighting our body.

We're just really allowing it to do what it does,

But without grasping onto what it's doing,

Without clinging to it,

Without tightening around it.

And so whenever we experience the tightening,

We just release,

And then we release the releasing,

And we just rest again in that openness.

But the mind's tendency to grasp onto things is very,

Very deeply ingrained.

We're not quite sure what to do with ourselves if we're not grasping to something.

The very seeking for something itself is the essence of that grasping.

And so we can just open to that feeling,

That feeling of wanting to find something else.

And we can release that,

Too,

And allow that to go its own way.

No need to push it away or change it,

But just be open to it.

Allow it to do its seeking,

And allow it to rest when it's complete or when it's finished.

Allow it to arise when it wants and do what it wants,

And to go away on its own.

No need to interfere with it.

And you're probably wondering whether you're doing it right.

And the wondering whether you're doing it right is just fine.

That's okay.

But you just notice that that's another form of grasping,

Another form of seeking to find something to do.

You're going to seek finding whether it's all right or not.

And so you just allow that wondering whether it's all right or not,

Whether you're doing things the right way or not.

Allow that to arise and just let it go on its own.

No need to make anything of it.

No need to figure out whether you're doing it right or not.

Just continue to open,

Resting in the openness,

Resting in awareness.

But you'll find the seeking mind continues to jump and certain things arise more forcefully into awareness at times.

And with the force of their presence,

Maybe it's a loud noise or a sudden pinging of the nerve in your leg,

Or a realization that you're thirsty,

Or any number of things.

It could be anything really.

A thought is probably the most common.

Or maybe you suddenly realize a deep sadness or a feeling of anxiety in the solar plexus.

Or maybe you experience a sense of joy or a buzzing in the hands.

Any of these are just fine.

But when you notice your awareness closing onto one of these objects,

Rather than merely releasing it,

I want you to practice a sort of technique that allows for a depth and a joy here.

And so when each object opens or rises more forcefully,

You suddenly notice your mind has shifted and is closed upon this or that phenomenal object.

Then at that time,

I want you to look at the object,

See it,

See it fully.

And when I say see,

I don't mean just with the eyes,

Of course,

But see with the mind,

Whatever sense modality is appropriate.

Perhaps see with the mind that sees thoughts,

Or with the mind that sees emotions,

Or the mind that sees visual objects,

Or auditory,

Tactile,

Sense,

Etc.

Whichever modality is appropriate to it,

Just really look at that object for a moment.

Not long,

But give it a good close look.

It's arisen into your awareness with force,

So give it a look.

It's okay.

And if nothing's arisen,

Then maybe just choose something.

I often like to choose the tip of the tongue at the top of my mouth.

That one is strangely present to me.

Just whatever it is,

Just be fully present with whatever sensation it is that's arising forcefully.

And that presence should be a gentle presence,

A loose presence,

Always still very relaxed,

But concentrated to some extent on that object which has arisen forcefully into consciousness.

And then,

Rather than doing anything with the object,

Rather than changing it in any way,

Or trying to suppress it,

Or simply going back to relaxation,

I want you to take a step back from the object,

So to speak.

Rather than cognizing the object which has arisen forcefully into your awareness,

I want you to step back and be aware of being aware of the object.

Step back.

It's kind of like the field of knowingness,

Or the field of clear awareness that's around the object,

Which makes it so that the object can be cognized at all,

Or recognized at all.

You just step back into that,

So you're resting openly,

And then some phenomena arises forcefully into your awareness,

Into your meditation,

And you rest in that object,

That phenomena,

For a moment.

Just for a moment.

You look at it,

Look at it closely,

Allow it to be present for you,

And then you step back,

Just a step back,

Just a small step,

Into the awareness of the object,

And so that you're no longer being aware of the object,

You're being aware of the awareness of that object.

And when you're aware of the awareness of it,

You'll see it's ephemeral,

It almost doesn't exist at all,

That awareness of it,

But in that awareness of it,

The whole object is included,

And it shines forth,

And yet you're not attending closely to the object itself,

You're attending to the awareness of it,

That you are able to maintain.

And once you've taken that step back,

And you've found the awareness of the object,

Then rather than holding too tightly to that awareness,

Of the awareness,

You really just relax and allow that to be,

Relax back into openness,

And there's no need to control or to try to sustain that awareness of the awareness of the object.

You really just relax,

Step back into that awareness of the awareness,

You relax into it,

Let it be,

And open back up again to the entire sphere,

The totality of your phenomenal awareness again.

So you're starting big,

Everything is included,

All the sounds,

All the smells,

All the visions,

All the thoughts and emotions,

All the tastes,

All the tactile sensations,

Everything which is phenomenal is present for you,

It's all there and available,

Wide open,

Relaxed,

Right through.

And then your mind,

Just naturally,

Because this is the habit of the mind,

It closes on some object or another,

Maybe it's a thought,

Or an emotion,

Again,

It could be anything.

And you allow your mind to go into that object,

You cognize it,

You give it your attention,

Just for a moment or two,

Just enough,

But not too much.

And then you step back,

Step back and become aware of your awareness of that object,

The awareness that allows you to know it all,

To see it all.

It's a bit like light,

In that it provides the condition for your ability to cognize anything.

So you step back,

You step back into that awareness of the awareness,

And then you relax and let be.

And in the relaxing,

Again,

You open back into the whole sphere of all phenomena that are arising to you right now.

And you can think of each of these little moments of closing and then cognizing,

Stepping back and resting.

Each of these little phenomena that arise into our awareness with force,

These are doors,

Doors into the ultimate,

Doors into the openness that cuts right through the center of everything.

And they're our friends.

We can take,

And if we open these doors,

We can walk through them into realization that goes as far as one can hope to go.

It goes all the way.

It's all there,

Just right there.

And so we just open to it,

Open into the awareness of it,

Open into the awareness of the awareness itself,

The clarity of that awareness,

Its luminosity,

Wide open.

And often we'll feel energies moving through the body.

As we open further and further,

The body begins to hum gently.

And we might want at the step where we step back,

So we've,

The object has arisen,

We've closed upon it,

We give it our attention for a moment,

And then we step back into the awareness of the awareness of that object.

And in that step,

We might also include a little smile.

As we step back into the awareness of the awareness,

We give a little smile.

We thank the object.

We thank that phenomena.

We thank our mind for recognizing.

We thank the awareness for giving us the light that allows us to see things at all.

And that thankfulness is a joy that's always there for us.

It's always free and ready to spring forth whenever we just open up to it,

Whenever we allow it to arise.

And so the smile is just an invitation to that joy,

To that gratitude.

And then we rest again,

Opening to everything that is there,

Present for us,

Wide open,

Luminous.

We're not suppressing anything.

We're not suppressing our thoughts.

We're not suppressing our emotions.

But we're also not following along with them.

We're just allowing them to be what they are,

Maybe a little bit of curiosity.

But as we open,

We experience the space that cuts through the center of the emotions,

Cuts through the center of the thoughts and the thinking mind.

There's a space at the heart of everything,

And we open into that space.

And we just allow it,

Allow it to soak through us with vivid,

Clear awareness,

Illuminating.

And now bringing this meditation to a close,

We give our thanks for whatever we've experienced.

And we can dedicate the practice and whatever benefits it might have for us to the highest purpose that we see for ourselves and for our life.

And may this be a beneficial practice for you in your own.

Thank you for joining me.