Head To Heart -- Finding Balance

We often find ourselves stuck in our heads. And we feel that's right because the head is where we're at, the center of our being. But on reflection, the head is wide open and free of any little person sitting inside, judging and deciding. By clarifying this, and by gradually moving our awareness to the heart or other aspects of our experience, we can find balance.

Let us allow the head to be a wonderful helper for the whole being, starting with the heart. This is a recording of a spontaneous meditation that I did on the condition of feeling a little bit of sadness. It does not go into sadness, but does bring gentle awareness to the heart region and gradually allows that to permeate the body.

Transcript

Hello friends,

Today I am going to be leading you in a practice which is basically just spontaneous.

But I'll tell you,

At least in part,

Where we're going to be going.

And that is that I've been feeling a little bit of sadness in my heart.

And the reasons for that are not particularly important.

But I'm going to be just working with that sadness,

With the gentleness of heart that arises there,

With a little bit of sadness.

This is nothing too serious,

But it's just going to be a meditation that,

At least in part,

Is working with emotions.

So I hope that we can give our highest aspirations for this meditation.

And let's begin.

We'll begin by clearing out the stale winds,

So to speak.

That kind of qi,

Or lung,

Or prana,

Whatever we want to call it.

Energy that gets kind of just blocked up in the body,

In the body-mind,

Energetic body,

When we're not actively bringing awareness into keeping things open a lot of the time.

Do that with three deep breaths,

Each of which we will clench our hands,

And experience the tightness wherever it is,

In the face,

In the shoulders,

The neck,

The torso.

Maybe it's in the emotional body.

Maybe it's in the energetic body,

In the chakras.

Wherever we're feeling tightness.

Maybe it's in the mind.

Maybe it's a problem that we're having,

Something about a plan,

Or the future projection that we're having issues with,

Or uncertain about.

Wherever we're feeling that tightness,

We're going to experience the tightness,

As we're going to make a metaphor for that tightness with our clenched fists as we breathe in.

And then as we breathe out,

We're going to release the fists and relax.

Totally releasing all of the knots,

All of the tightness.

So on three,

We'll breathe in,

Clenching our fists,

Experiencing the knots,

Experiencing the tightness,

Breathing out and releasing.

One,

Two,

Three,

Breathing in.

Totally letting everything go.

And just being there with what happens.

And again on three,

Breathing in,

Clenching our fists,

Experiencing the knots,

The tightness,

Wherever it is.

One,

Two,

Three.

One,

Two,

Three.

We totally release.

We even release what's happening right now.

Although we remain vividly present,

We don't hold on to it.

Everything open-handed.

And the last time,

Feeling what it feels like to hold tight to things,

And then experiencing what it feels like to have your hands open,

To allow things to come and to go as they please,

Without trying to make a decision for them.

Whether those things are your feelings or your thoughts,

Someone else,

Someone else's opinions,

Something else.

All these things are,

To an extraordinary extent,

Outside of our immediate control.

And so we release grasping to them,

And we work with what we actually have in front of us.

On three,

Again,

Breathing in,

Clenching our fists,

Feeling the tightness,

Feeling the knots,

Feeling what it feels like to grasp and to try to hold.

One,

Two,

Three.

And release.

Now let's just relax into this released state for a few minutes.

Experiencing what's happening.

Totally open.

Eyes open.

Allowing what happens to happen.

Accepting that what doesn't happen,

Isn't happening.

Okay,

Now coming back.

Coming back to presence,

If we ever left it.

And how could we,

After all?

But,

We are going to now draw our attention into the region of the heart.

Right between the breasts,

The center of the chest.

And we'll visualize for a moment a white sphere there,

About the size of a quarter.

Clear and luminous,

Right in the center of the heart.

And now it's easy to visualize that white sphere as being below you,

In the heart center.

Because we frequently identify ourselves as being inside of our heads,

Behind the eyes somewhere.

But that doesn't really make sense when you look a little bit more closely.

Everything is equally an object of awareness.

Whether it's inside or outside our body,

In the head or in the torso.

And it's not clear how we differentiate which one is more self.

Is the awareness that's in the object of vision,

20 feet away from me,

Is that more self?

Or the experience of absence behind the eyes,

Is that more self?

And I think what we begin to see is that the self that we're identifying with is a reified self.

That means a self that we make up in our imagination,

And then believe to be real.

So very quickly,

We can keep that white sphere in the heart.

And at the same time,

Let's do a very brief little meditation experiment.

Where we begin by experiencing the little disc about the width again,

Or the diameter of a quarter again.

And we put that,

Let's place that right at our third eye,

On the surface of our forehead.

And just experience that disc,

Experience the sensation that's arising right there at the third eye.

And I just want you to feel that for 30 seconds or so.

Feel what's happening there.

Just be curious,

Open and curious.

You can feel a little bit of buzzing,

The sort of humming of being alive,

Of experiencing that's there,

Of being awake.

And that being awake is,

Truly is,

Is the being awake.

And now,

We're going to take that little disc,

And we're going to do something kind of funny with it.

Because we've experienced the forehead at the third eye.

Now we're going to move the disc,

Which is to say move that little spotlight of our attention,

Of our focused attention.

We're going to move it from the front of our head,

All the way through the center of our head,

To the back of the head.

And what I want you to do is to look very,

Very closely at what phenomenal sensations arise.

Sure,

You can imagine things.

You're going through the middle,

And there's the brain,

And et cetera,

Et cetera.

But do you experience the brain in an immediate,

First-person sense?

Or what do you experience?

And that's what we're going to be looking for.

As we have the disc on the forehead,

We experience the sensation of the nerves,

And whatever it is,

The skin,

The muscles.

We experience warmth and coolness.

We experience all the tactile sensations.

And as we move through the center of the head,

What is it that we experience?

And then,

When we come out on the other side to the back of the head,

I want you to attend to that experience as well.

Attend to it closely,

And then come on back through the head to the front again.

So let's begin moving from the front to the back.

We're going to move very slowly,

Maybe 30 seconds,

To get from front to back.

And let's begin now.

Now let's stop for a moment right in the center of the head.

I want you to just rest there.

You can imagine it as a sphere now.

A sphere of just pure awareness,

No color,

Nothing else,

Just awareness.

A little sphere sitting there,

And what is it that it's experiencing?

Now let's continue to the back of the head,

Taking our time.

Now we're at the back of the head,

And experience again the back of the head,

And see how that feels.

Is that different from the feeling,

This phenomenal experience of the inside of the head?

Or is it the same?

If it's different,

How is it different?

Now we'll move back again,

Taking about 30 seconds,

Taking our time,

Moving that disc back from the back of the head,

Again to the front of the third eye.

We'll just go slowly,

Gently take our time.

Okay,

Now coming back to the third eye,

And we can drop that little disc,

Return to a more open awareness with the sphere of white light at the heart center.

I just want to point out that there we were searching for that self that we believe is somewhere behind the eyes,

And whatever we found there as we moved through,

That would be about as close to what we can expect to find of the self as anything insofar as it's going to be in the center of the head.

So take from that what you will.

But now what I want to point out is that we can situate our sense of self elsewhere.

I think maybe we saw that,

That there was an openness in the center of the head.

That openness wasn't really contained.

It had the potential to be anywhere.

So rather than placing it in the center of the head,

I want you to bring the sense of your center,

Of your selfness.

Bring that and locate that down into that clear white sphere,

That luminous sphere in the center of your heart.

So that you're bringing your very self down there.

You're almost seeing and feeling from there.

Or rather the seeing and hearing the head stuff,

I want you to experience it as happening up there.

And the heart is what's happening here.

So let's bring the here-ness down into the heart.

And let the head stuff be something that's happening up there.

Let's just rest in that clear luminous sphere in the heart center.

We'll rest there for a minute or two and we might begin to feel it,

The luminousness spreading.

See if that happens.

If you pay attention,

You can allow the clear white light to emanate out of this clear sphere at the center of the heart.

And gradually it begins to permeate every aspect of the body.

Wherever it touches,

It illuminates with awareness.

And we experience a warmth,

A buzzing,

A joy.

Everywhere it touches is filled with joy,

With compassion,

With gentleness.

Let's experience that white light flowing out with every in-breath.

We experience the white light in the center with every out-breath.

We experience the light flowing out and everything it touches being illuminated.

Illuminated by awareness,

By compassion,

Gentle,

Loving-kindness.

Breathing in,

We experience the bright,

Clear light there at the heart.

Breathing out,

It permeates the whole body.

And let's just relax into this meditation for a minute or two.

Until the whole body is saturated with white light,

With warmth and awareness.

Everywhere it touches is relaxed.

Every knot is released.

The white light tells us it's okay.

It's okay just how it is.

It's not trying to change anything.

And now,

If your eyes aren't open already,

I would like you to open them up.

Experience your body as suffused with a beautiful white light of compassion,

Loving-kindness,

Gratitude,

Joy.

And now as we breathe in,

We experience the clarity,

The vividness of the white,

Beautiful,

Luminous sphere at the heart.

And as we breathe out,

We release that and it pours out through the body and it fills the entire phenomenal world.

Everything we can experience is suffused with that white light.

Breathing in,

We experience the clarity,

The openness.

Breathing out,

All of the clarity spills out into the whole mandala of the world.

We can control our breathing a bit here,

Breathing deeper than is maybe natural.

Really experiencing the clarity,

The openness,

And then giving it out,

Letting it out to flow across the whole phenomenal experience.

Everything it touches is illuminated.

Everything it touches is gently embraced with compassion,

Loving-kindness,

Joy.

It's not trying to change anything.

It's not trying to replace anger with loving-kindness.

It's just embracing whatever it is with loving-kindness.

And the light flows evenly.

It touches everything.

It's not stopped or obstructed by anything.

It penetrates right through phenomenal experiences.

It fills all the space behind them.

It fills the space inside the head.

It fills the space behind the body.

It embraces the sounds and the sensations,

The tastes and the smells.

And finally,

We'll take one last deep breath.

Breathe in,

Feeling that white light.

And as we breathe out,

We're going to just let it all go.

And we're just going to relax in unconstructed nature,

Just in what is again.

We're going to come back.

There's no sphere at the heart,

Or maybe there is.

Whatever's happening,

That's what's happening.

We're not going to make anything or do anything.

We're just going to let it be.

Last breath on three.

One,

Two,

Three.

And breathing out,

We release everything and relax.

Thank you,

Friends,

For joining me today.

I hope this has been a valuable meditation for you.

And that it's helped you deepen into your awareness of who you are in the world.

And as always,

I ask that you generate your greatest aspiration and dedicate whatever good has come of this meditation to that highest aspiration you have for yourself and the world.

Thank you.