Hi,
I'm Dr.
Kim.
Today,
I am frustrated,
Angry,
And annoyed,
And I want to talk about it because I know almost everyone can relate to these feelings.
There is a difference between effort and aligned effort.
They are not the same thing,
Even though we often treat them as if they are.
Most of us have been taught that effort equals virtue.
That if something matters,
We should push,
Work hard,
Persist,
Override discomfort,
Reach your goal no matter the cost.
And sometimes,
Yes,
This way can produce outcomes.
But it takes a toll on your body.
Stress rises,
Your muscles tighten,
It gets harder to breathe,
And you start to feel restricted and blocked.
Aligned effort feels very different in the nervous system than forced effort,
And the body knows the difference long before the mind admits it.
Today,
I experienced that distinction very clearly.
I sat down to record a short introduction video for my lower back pain healing course.
Four or five minutes.
It was supposed to be simple and straightforward.
What followed was almost two hours of escalating friction.
My teleprompter wouldn't cooperate.
My camera started giving me small electric shocks.
My tripod couldn't support the weight of the setup and kept tipping over mid-filming.
I had to redesign everything,
Sit on the floor,
And rework the lighting.
Finally,
I recorded a take that felt right.
I then put it on my laptop to edit it and found that there was no sound on the video because my microphone had died.
You should have seen the silent scream I screamed.
The thing is,
Each of these setbacks was actually a warning sign.
Did I listen?
No.
I was so deeply focused on my goal of producing that specific video.
At each step,
I could feel my body tightening.
I could feel my breath shortening.
My tolerance completely dropped.
My thinking narrowed.
My effort increased,
But my alignment decreased.
That's the signature of forced effort.
When we force outcomes,
The nervous system moves into a state of stress.
Creativity takes a backseat,
And control starts to drive.
Control narrows perception.
Control narrows your vision.
Control increases muscle tone.
Control prioritizes outcome over ease.
The body doesn't distinguish between physical danger and pressure-driven urgency created by yourself.
It responds to both with the same thing.
More tension,
Less adaptability,
Lower error tolerance.
Which is why when we force,
Things tend to break.
Not because the universe is punishing us per se,
But maybe,
Just maybe,
We were not supposed to be doing that task.
On the other hand,
Let's talk about aligned effort.
Aligned effort,
By contrast,
Still involves energy.
It still involves intention and action.
But the nervous system remains regulated.
There is room to adjust.
There is room for mistakes.
There is space around the task.
And most importantly,
It feels good.
Sometimes,
It's even easy.
In aligned effort,
The body is participating,
Not being dragged.
Today,
My body was not participating.
And that's where the lesson arrived.
The lesson wasn't,
Video is wrong.
The lesson wasn't,
I'm not supposed to help people.
The lesson was much simpler and much more precise.
This is not for me today.
That distinction matters.
Because when we don't listen,
When we insist on pushing through despite clear physiological signals,
Frustration accumulates.
And frustration is feedback.
It's the nervous system saying,
The way you're doing this is costing more than it's giving.
At some point,
Continuing stops being brave and starts being disrespectful to the body.
A couple of years ago,
I would have kept trying and trying to film the video until something broke,
Either my sanity or the equipment.
I'm pleased to say that today I stopped before this happened.
I listened to my body and heeded the signs.
I surrendered the outcome I thought I needed.
I released the pressure of this has to work right now.
And I transmuted my frustration into something more positive.
I created the script for this talk.
And the moment I decided to do this,
My system settled.
My breath deepened,
My thinking cleared,
The frustration transmuted into ease.
Not because all my tech problems were solved,
But because alignment was restored.
This is the deeper spiritual teaching I want to offer you today.
Surrender is not giving up.
Surrender is shifting from force to intelligence.
It's recognizing that the nervous system is not an obstacle to our goals.
It's the instrument through which anything sustainable is created.
There are things we're meant to do.
And there are moments when we're not meant to do them yet.
Today was one of those moments.
So if you find yourself forcing outcomes in your life,
If things keep breaking,
Stalling,
Escalating,
Pause and ask a different question.
Not how do I push through this?
But what is my system telling me right now?
Sometimes the answer is rest.
Sometimes it's simplification.
Sometimes,
Like me today,
It's to do something different entirely.
Today the aligned choice wasn't the video.
It was this talk.
And that's how effort becomes aligned.
Not through discipline alone,
But through listening.
That's all I wanted to share.
If you want to go deeper into this philosophy,
You can listen to my course called Manifest Through Surrender here on Insight Timer.
Thank you for your reviews and listens.
See you next time.
