Holding Conflicting Emotions Guided Meditation

This guided meditation is meant to help hold space within yourself for both negative and positive emotions, and practice softening and allowing both to exist--without trying to control or change them--by facilitating awareness of where emotions (both good and bad) land in the body. It includes breath awareness as a tool for softening and allowing in the face of overwhelm or activation, as well as guided imagery.

Transcript

Find yourself in a comfortable meditating position.

Now you can lay down for this meditation.

Whatever's going to allow your spine to maintain its length and integrity for the longest.

It's going to be the appropriate position to choose for this meditation so that you're comfortable in your body.

Asana comfortable seat.

Can you find a comfortable seat,

Even if that means laying down so that your body is not a distraction from your mind and emotions and internal landscape as we move through this meditation.

So this is the turning towards emotion meditation.

So just know that we will be working with some emotions that could be activating.

Hopefully nothing too activating,

But just want you to be aware of that.

But we'll be holding space for negative as well as positive emotions.

So if that's feeling like too much for you today,

Just want you to know that's what we're doing.

If that feels okay,

Then just start to settle more into your comfortable seat.

Settle a little bit more into the support below you.

Can you make yourself just five to 10% more comfortable now,

And then just come back to that stillness.

Now come back to that connection with your base.

And can you tune your awareness deeper into that sensation of support?

Is there anything you could do mentally,

Physically,

Or otherwise to soften deeper into that support?

If you were making an imprint with your body on the support below you,

Can you release deeper,

Let that imprint become a little heavier now,

Just notice the sensation at all the points of contact below you,

And then just inhale and gather up any tension you might notice in your physical body and exhale and just let that tension drain down into the support down below you.

Just let it drain out of you.

And as you're sitting or lying here,

Also let any thought or images go.

Just tune your awareness more fully into the support,

Into allowing yourself to be supported.

And then we'll turn our awareness to the breath.

Notice your breath.

Can you notice the imprint of your activities on your breath?

So if you're coming from a stress state,

Either the intentional stress of our heat building practice or stressful day at work,

Or maybe you've already relaxed,

You found a relaxation in Shavasana,

Or you just woke up recently.

You just notice the imprint of those things on your breath and notice now,

If you feel any movement in your body with your breath,

Is it in your abdomen or chest,

Maybe your nostrils?

Can you feel the breath move in and out across your upper lip?

Can you notice the temperature change there?

You notice any amount of expansion and contraction happening in your body as you breathe in and out?

And can you just ride the wave of your breath as if you were observing ocean waves,

Just watching it go out and come back in,

Out and back in again.

Notice as the waves go out,

They smooth the sand that they go over and just notice,

Be aware of how,

If you were observing waves at the ocean,

You wouldn't try to control or change those waves.

You wouldn't try to make them go faster,

Slower,

Be bigger,

Smaller,

And just be with that,

Hold that same space for your breath.

Just watch it go in and out,

Perhaps smoothing or softening your body and mind as it goes out,

But don't try to control or change the waves of your breath,

Just be with the serenity that observing the waves brings.

So be with this softening and allowing with the breath,

Just get really intimate with that practice of softening and allowing.

And so in a moment,

We'll turn towards a difficult situation or emotion intentionally.

And so just know if you get,

Start to get overwhelmed or more activated than you want to be,

Know you can come back to your breath,

Come back to this practice of softening and allowing.

So as we prepare to turn our attention to something that's troubling you,

Something perhaps that's not the way you want it to be.

If you don't have a whole lot of experience with this process,

Try to choose something that's not huge,

Something that will be enough charge so that you'll have a definite reaction.

You'll feel something welling up in you,

But you don't want to choose the biggest thing in your life,

Perhaps right now for this practice,

You need to apply what you learned from this practice in bite-sized chunks to other situations.

So it could be a physical condition.

If you have a health problem or relationship issue,

Maybe a misunderstanding or a setback you've experienced recently,

Or it could just be an inconsiderate thing and somebody makes you mad in traffic or perhaps a little something you don't like about yourself,

Maybe something like that.

Take your time to settle on what scenario you're going to choose,

Knowing there's no wrong choice and choose anything and it'll be right.

I just want to make sure you pick one thing and hopefully not the biggest thing.

So start to settle on the one thing that you would like to choose to work on an activating scenario or experience in your life.

And once you've found the situation or issue you want to turn your awareness towards,

Can you identify any feeling you have around the situation?

Is there anger,

Fear,

Sadness,

Impatience,

Confusion?

What would you call it?

And if,

For example,

It was anger,

Rather than saying,

I am angry or I am frustrated or I am sad,

Can you see how it feels to say,

I'm noticing that something in me feels this way?

Something in me is angry or afraid or frustrated or sad.

I'm noticing something in me that has this feeling.

See how it feels to say it that way,

To give the feeling a little bit more room to move and to not identify yourself as the feeling so much instead of labeling yourself as angry or fearful,

Can you just become more aware that you have those feelings?

And as you say this,

Something in me is annoyed or angry or confused or sad,

Whichever best describes this feeling.

See if you can notice where the physical reaction is.

Perhaps it's a tightening in your shoulders or chest,

Queasiness in the stomach,

Perhaps,

Or heaviness in your abdomen can be pressure or tension of some sort,

Achiness or constriction somewhere in your body,

Perhaps tension in your throat,

Heat in your face or tightness in your heart,

Maybe a heat in your face or tightness in your jaw.

Are you experiencing any or more than one of those things?

Just see where this emotion brought up by this situation lands in your body.

How does it affect you physically?

Where do you notice it?

Or if you can't find a specific place,

That's fine.

Just,

It could be a general sense of unease.

It's okay if you can't put an exact label on it,

Or if it was many things at once.

Notice yourself moving into this activated states fight or flight state and just allow what you're noticing to be there.

Allow yourself to notice yourself coming into a stress response to this.

Hopefully relatively small situation.

Remember if you do get too activated,

You can always come back to your breath,

Back to that ocean waves,

Breath,

Just softening and allowing.

Can you allow what you're noticing in your body in reaction to this tough emotion to just be there?

Can you just acknowledge it?

Let your awareness be there.

Allow it to be just the way it is without trying to force it to be something different right now.

So with difficult emotions or sensations,

It's totally normal to want to move away from them.

Want to make them be over more quickly.

So without trying to soften the emotion you're having directly,

Can you soften your reaction to it?

So even if you don't like what you're feeling in response to this tougher situation that you chose to focus your energy on,

Is it possible to just accept that that's how you feel in reaction to that situation and see if you can give yourself permission to allow yourself to feel this way.

Allow that sort of negative emotion to just be there and be kind and gentle with yourself as you experiencing this,

Recognizing and accepting that something you may not like is present.

And that does not mean that you like it just because you're allowing it.

So can you practice this softening and allowing softening,

Not trying to change or control the feeling,

Just softening your reaction to the feeling that you experience and allowing that reaction to be there and allowing the feeling to be there.

And if it's possible for you,

See if you can soften your reaction to the difficulty to this situation with gentle breaths,

Seeing if you can be with it the same way you'd be with a child or a pet,

Or a person that you're close to or a loved one who's in distress,

Just holding the space for yourself with tenderness and gentleness,

Not demanding yourself to respond any differently than you are.

And if you like,

You might even place your hand where in your body,

You're physically feeling the difficulty the most,

Or maybe you place your hand on your heart or abdomen,

Meeting this tougher experience with kindness,

Recognizing that it's okay for this feeling to be difficult,

Challenging,

Or painful.

And as you do this,

You may feel the sensations and feelings coming and going.

You may kind of ride the waves between the difficult emotions,

Difficult sensations that they'll bring up.

You might notice this pendulation.

You might notice from moment to moment,

If you pay close attention,

Perhaps there's a tightening or a loosening happening.

You may notice heat,

Waves of energy,

Images or impressions might emerge.

And through all of this,

Can you cultivate a sense of kindness and curiosity and compassion for your exploration of these more difficult situations and feelings that they bring up?

Spending enough time here to make contact with what you're noticing and feeling,

But not so much that you become overwhelmed.

So if you do this practice on your own or any time during a meditation,

If you do feel overwhelmed,

Remember that you can always return your awareness to your breath,

Turn your awareness away from the difficult sensations or the activating practice and return it to your breath,

Return your awareness to the physical support you have.

And if it still becomes too much,

Too overwhelming,

You can always pause or stop the meditation,

Look around the room,

Orient yourself.

And so now without trying to push the difficulty away,

The issue,

The situation away,

Can you take a moment to see if you can find somewhere in your life where things are okay?

Or maybe even good,

Perhaps something or someone you're grateful for.

Maybe it's a loved one or a pet or a friend,

Maybe an achievement,

Something good you've done past or present that you're proud of,

A hobby or a support that gives you pleasure or satisfaction.

It could even be something as simple as recalling a smile or a kind word someone had for you recently or in the past.

There may be several things or people you're grateful for that come to mind.

Just let them flow into your awareness,

Feeling the sense of gratitude and warmth and notice how it affects your body to imagine this in its wholeness.

If what came to mind is physical and involves movement,

Even if it's something that doesn't involve a lot of movement,

Like writing or drawing,

Imagine how it would feel to move in this way.

Yeah.

Arms,

Legs,

Torso,

Perhaps the touch of a pen or a brush,

Whatever it is that you're coming into contact with the movement of your body,

If it has to do with a special feeling you have in this situation or with these particular people in your life,

You're grateful for.

Can you let yourself feel that?

Notice where in your body you feel that most vividly.

Maybe you feel a warmth in your heart or you feel safe and secure feeling in your belly.

Softness around your face.

Do you feel an aliveness in your limbs?

Can you let yourself spend some time here?

So when you do this on your own,

You can stay here as long as you want,

Whatever feels right for you.

Once you're ready,

Knowing you can come back to what you're grateful for.

You may want to check in with that.

What was troubling you see how it feels now and do this gently.

Just checking in.

Like you're opening a door to room.

You were just in,

Just kind of peeking inside the doorway,

Revisiting that difficult situation,

Issue or condition.

And as you do this,

What do you notice?

How is it the same or different than before?

So can you gently allow the feelings or sensations to be the way they are without needing them to change?

And yet things might change as you pay attention to them on their own.

Just spend long enough there to notice how it feels to be revisiting the difficulty right now.

And when you're ready,

You can go back to the pleasant feeling or the things or people you're grateful for and hang out there for a while.

Notice what it's like to pay attention to this again,

To what's working,

To what feels good,

To what you're grateful for and how this feels in your body.

Now,

In a way,

The parts of your life that are working well,

The parts that you're grateful for can be seen as gently holding the areas that are difficult or challenging.

So you may notice that the things may feel differently than they did before.

They're actually fluid and dynamic.

They're not fixed.

And when you're ready,

Seeing if you can broaden your awareness,

Like panning out with a wide angle lens,

Including both the difficulty and what you're grateful for,

So why that there's enough space and room to hold them both without pushing away the difficulty or clinging to the pleasant,

Can you shift to an even wider,

More inclusive perspective that includes both the pleasant and the unpleasant,

Including the entire body and all the parts of your body and all of its sensations.

And when you're ready,

Moving wider,

Still to include your awareness of the room or the area you're sitting or lying in.

And you might notice that by widening your awareness,

There's a sense of space of freedom,

Of capacity for change and movement.

So let yourself spend some time here with this wider perspective.

And if it's not too much of a stretch,

Can you expand your awareness to include the building or the natural setting that you're in right now,

Even wider to your neighborhood,

Town or city,

Even further to the region of the country you're in.

The difficulty you began with may not have itself changed,

But now it's part of something much bigger.

And as your awareness expands even further to include the entire world,

That's possible for you.

Recognize that this very moment,

There are others who are experiencing the same kind of pain or discomfort as you have been.

And in this way,

You're not alone out of the many millions and billions of people included,

It's certainly true that some of them are experiencing the same sort of pain and difficulty that you are with the same or even more intensity.

The pains,

The fears,

The worries are not yours to bear alone.

They are in fact shared by others.

There are others feeling the very same thing at the very same time as you.

And if it seems possible to do this,

You might see if you can imagine your awareness expanding even further.

Seeing the earth from space,

The way an astronaut might,

That beautiful blue and white sphere against a velvety black backdrop,

Seamless,

Whole,

Alive,

And so precious,

And when you're doing this on your own,

You can stay here for a while.

If you like seeing the earth as this beautiful glowing jewel suspended in space,

When you're ready,

Letting your awareness gradually return to your part of the world,

To you and your physical body.

How are you right now?

Feeling and sensing how it is to be in your body right here,

Right now,

Coming back to just you,

But with awareness still wide enough to hold both the difficulties and pleasures of your body and your life and seeing if you can bring gentleness and kindness to whatever you're feeling right now,

Holding yourself with compassion and understanding,

Spending the next few unguided moments,

Resting deeply in the body and the breath,

Allowing any discomfort or unease to be soothed by the rhythm of your breath again and again and again.

So as we near the end of our meditation,

If you would like to stay here longer,

You're welcome to pause or even stop the recording,

But when you're ready,

You might slowly open your eyes if they've been closed,

Letting your attention move out to the outside world,

Taking in the sight,

Sound,

And sensation,

Beginning to gently move your body and re-engage with the activities of the day,

Seeing if you can bring a fresh sense of curiosity and openness to all you encounter.

So that concludes our meditation,

And I hope you're able to carry that sense of riding the wave of your breath to soften,

To create some space between yourself and the difficult or pleasant emotions that you might experience and how they're might land in your body.

Thanks for joining me.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.