Relationships - What Is It Good For?

Join us to unveil the truth behind our need for relationships. What are we hoping for? What are our expectations? Does an Awakened consciousness need a relationship? For what reason? Bring your questions and let's grow together.

Transcript

Okay,

Good.

So,

Welcome.

We're going to start our session with a short ceremony.

Just to make sure that we are all aligned.

So,

Let's sit comfortably on our seat.

And.

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Make sure that our telephone won't bother us in the next hour or so.

Let's take a deep breath in.

And let go.

Let's close our eyes and take another deep breath in.

And let go.

And the next breath in we keep in,

We don't breathe out.

And slowly breathe out.

And let go.

Let go of all your efforts.

Let go of everything that already happened in the past.

Let go of everything that may happen in the future.

And allow your breath to guide your attention back to the present moment.

To the present moment.

To whatever is happening right now.

Around you.

Become aware of all the information generated by your surroundings.

Become aware of the presence of your own body in that space.

Become aware of the posture your body took upon its seat.

You may scan your body from the tip of your toes to the top of your head.

Making sure there is no tension hiding anywhere in your body.

And if you found an area that is more.

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Tensed,

Contracted.

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Contracted.

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You may guide your breath to that area.

Fill it up with oxygen.

With life.

And as you breathe out.

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Allow attention.

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To flow out of your body.

There is no need for tension right now.

Comfortable and relaxed.

Another deep breath in.

And let go.

Let go more and more.

Become aware of your own thoughts.

Whatever you may be thinking about right now.

Observe your thoughts.

As they pass through your mind.

Like clouds in the sky.

Without getting too entangled with any specific thought.

Just observe.

Be fully aware of any phenomena.

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That may happen around you or within you.

And as the stream of phenomena keep flowing endlessly.

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Keep flowing endlessly.

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In its own natural rhythm.

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Allow your attention to turn away.

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And face itself.

The observer.

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Is observing the observer.

That space within.

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That exists.

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Before.

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And beyond.

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Any phenomena.

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Where there is no movement.

There is only silence.

And for a moment.

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Become that silence.

Another deep breath in.

And another deep breath out.

Gently.

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Allow your attention to come back to your body.

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That is seated here on this seat.

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In this room.

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Part of our virtual circle.

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That unites our individual intentions.

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Into one unified intention.

The intention to grow.

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To develop.

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To evolve.

Another deep breath in.

And when you feel comfortable.

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You may open your eyes.

Hello again everyone.

Welcome to this unique opportunity we give ourselves.

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To hold hands and walk the path together.

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Supporting each other's growth.

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And evolve not just as individuals on the path.

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But also as a united consciousness.

Remembering that the driving force that propels our movement forward.

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Is that evolutionary tension.

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That hides between the question and the answer.

So this is the opportunity to share your question and contribute to our journey.

We.

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Proposed this session to focus on.

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Relationships.

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Which is the context of.

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Everything we experience in life.

So any relationship-related question.

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Is welcomed.

Or any other question that you may want to ask.

Who wants to be the first one to jump into the waters today?

Don't be shy.

Remember.

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Participating in this session and not asking questions is like.

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Sitting in a boat waiting for somebody else to row.

I know you have questions,

Otherwise.

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You would not bother showing up.

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To this session.

Who is the first brave individual.

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To jump into the waters?

How do you recommend dealing with close relationships.

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With those who are less awakened?

With love and compassion.

Don't bother grading other people.

How awakened are they?

This one is 7 out of 10,

The other one is 5 out of 10.

It's irrelevant.

Don't bother wasting your energy on that.

The only relevant thing is.

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How open is your heart.

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To embrace everyone.

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Regardless of how awakened they are.

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Or any other condition you may have.

If people act.

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Because of ignorance.

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Because of suffering.

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Then what do you do?

You pour compassion from your own heart.

When you face suffering,

What do you do?

You feel compassionate.

Right?

You feel compassion.

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You make sure that your love.

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Is free from these kinds of conditions.

I will love you only if.

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You meet my criteria.

Only those people who are 8 and above on the awakened scale.

That's not how it works.

You make sure your heart is free from preconditioning.

Thank you.

What if they cause harm after you try to be compassionate?

First of all,

Don't try to be compassionate.

Be compassionate.

What's the difference between trying and doing?

When you try,

You.

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Are doing it half-heartedly.

There is that prospect of failure.

But if you do it with no expectations,

With no conditions,

There is no failure.

Nothing can fail.

Because there is no criteria for success.

The only success you can measure is how open your heart is.

That's it.

How compassionate it is.

If you are compassionate,

You are already successful.

That's it.

There is no difference to that.

So what if they cause harm?

People can be ignorant.

Most of us are,

Most of the time.

We are acting because of ignorance.

We don't allow knowledge to flow through us.

We act out of ego.

Filling our interaction with life with conditions.

Busy with those questions.

What do I want?

What do I need?

What will I gain out of this?

Ignorance.

So when you meet ignorance,

When you meet suffering in other people's actions,

You fill it with compassion.

You know that the other person is suffering now.

What can you do when you meet suffering?

You add compassion to it.

And make sure your love is unconditional.

Do you still recommend compassion?

Always.

Compassion is the cure for everything.

Unconditional love is the cure for everything.

Did you ever stop and ask yourself what other people want from you?

At the end of the day,

What do they actually want?

In the context of the love,

In the context of the relationship,

Those people on the other side,

What are they really asking?

Any idea?

Come on,

The first one to answer gets a prize.

Love.

What kind of love?

What kind of love?

Unconditional.

Unconditional love.

That's what everybody is asking from you.

But you are too busy putting conditions on your love.

I only will love you if you love me back.

Or if you love me back.

You love me back.

Or if you meet my criteria,

My conditions.

Then you minimize your potential.

Instead of expanding,

You shrink.

Expanding,

You shrink.

How do you heal the abandonment wound and not be codependent or hurt by the significant other?

Good question.

The abandonment wound.

You know,

The natural process of your own evolution is very repetitive.

It's a process of evolution.

It's a process of evolution.

It's a process of evolution.

It's very repetitive.

We come to this world ego-less.

We are one with the existence.

We are one with the reality that we meet.

And as we grow up,

Like at the age of 3 or 4,

We start developing an ego based on past experiences,

Based on our story.

We start growing with our past experiences and we develop an ego,

Which becomes thicker and thicker over the years.

Until we come to a certain point in time where we meet that invitation to grow beyond our ego.

To let go of that false identification.

Abandonment can be experienced only through the experience of the past.

Experienced only through the context of ego.

I needed something.

I need.

I need.

I didn't get what I need.

That I that needs,

That's the ego.

But as you grow on the path,

You realize ego is an illusion.

There is no such thing as a separated identity.

You realize that you are one with whatever you meet.

There is no two.

There is no duality.

So how can you be abandoned?

How can you abandon something?

Once you wake up to realize you are a part of everything,

That prospect of abandonment is forsaken.

It's like saying that the wave is abandoning the ocean.

Or the ocean is abandoning the wave.

That's not possible.

Do you see what I'm saying?

These two are actually one.

The wave is the ocean.

The ocean is the wave.

And you are the reality that you meet.

There are not two.

You cannot be abandoned.

So rest in that awareness.

I am everything.

Everything is me.

Otherwise you will always be dependent on somebody,

On something.

Most of us have relationships because of that illusion.

Believing that your significant other should be fulfilling that need.

Should be filling that hole that you have inside.

But that's never the case.

No other people can do that for you.

It doesn't matter how white the horse he is riding on.

Your knight in shining armor,

He is always just a facade.

There is no such person.

It's not his responsibility or her responsibility.

If you conduct relationships from that point of view,

You are destined to fail.

For sure.

100%.

It's not the responsibility of the other person.

If you feel there is a hole in you,

You make sure you grow to realize that's an illusion.

You are already complete.

You are perfect.

You are already accomplished.

You are already whole.

You don't need and you never needed anybody to compliment you.

To fulfill you from the outside in.

Once you wake up to that,

There is no going back.

Being dependent again on somebody else for your own happiness.

You are already perfect.

You are already perfect.

What do you say?

Yes,

Thank you.

This is a very good perspective.

What else?

That's it?

Our relationships are resolved once and for all?

Yes.

I am happy.

Once and for all?

Ask yourself.

Am I ready to peel all conditions and expectations from my relationship?

Am I ready to be fully available?

Completely exposed to whatever life has to offer me through the context of relationship?

Pleasurable or painful as it may be?

Ask yourself.

Am I ready?

What do you say?

Tell me.

TG is saying,

No.

What do you recommend to assist with getting closer to be ready?

First of all,

It is very good that you are honest with that.

And you don't just fool yourself or others about it.

That's the first step.

Looking in the mirror and be honest enough and courageous enough to see what is reflected back to you.

That's the first step.

The second step is to grow on the spiritual path by combining knowledge with direct experience.

The more you know and the more you implement and integrate into your own identity the less dependent you are the more available you are for unconditional love.

So choose that consciously.

Choose to be free of conditions,

Fearless.

Make it the most important thing in your life.

On the top of the priorities.

More important than anything else.

And I guarantee you will come closer to that.

Keep reminding yourself your choice again and again and again and again.

And every time you forget you will be reminded again and again.

You will remind yourself again.

By practicing Sadhana.

Be how do you say?

Faithful,

Committed to the path that you chose.

Keep reminding yourself Sadhana,

Seva that has no agenda,

No interest.

Satsang,

Surround yourself with people like-minded people that helps you remember and support your journey towards an awakened consciousness.

And devote yourself to a master,

A spiritual teacher that will be your anchor your everlasting source of inspiration.

So you forget less and you remember more.

Bettina is asking,

If you are satisfied with yourself you are very attractive,

100%.

If you grow beyond self-doubt.

Thank you for sharing your precious questions.

Yes,

Please continue doing that.

How to be around people who react instead of being around people who are not reacting.

Respond.

How to be around people who react instead respond.

How to be around people with an open heart and a willing soul.

And it doesn't matter what people you meet on the other side.

Some of them are beautiful,

Some are ugly.

Some are short,

Some are tall,

Some are fat,

Some are thin.

Some are ignorant,

Some are wise.

So many types of people.

Thank God for that.

And you just embrace the opportunity to engage with whatever you meet.

When they react,

It feels bad energy.

Don't be a football of other people's opinions.

People have all kinds of opinions and ideas Don't put yourself in that position.

You know who you are.

And that is unshakable.

Nothing can disturb that.

Your self-awareness.

Whatever they do,

Whatever they say you just embrace that blissfully,

Gracefully.

It doesn't matter.

What you are is unshakable.

What you are is beyond space and time.

Unshakable.

Eternal.

Circumstances are always temporary.

Sometimes it's pleasant,

Sometimes it's not.

Sometimes it's pleasurable,

Sometimes it's painful.

Things change.

You don't change.

You are eternal.

So when you meet reality from that perspective nothing can intimidate you.

Nothing can threaten that.

You are that.

You don't need to try to do anything with that,

Sati.

Don't try to do anything.

You just be loving,

Caring,

Compassionate.

And that's what you are.

And that will translate itself into action naturally,

Harmoniously.

You see,

In trying to do something there is an agenda.

You try to create a reality that meets an idea that you have in your head what is right,

What is just,

What is recommended.

You know,

There is an agenda there.

And awakened consciousness is not trying to do anything.

It's available to be,

To experience with no conditions.

Regardless it's comfortably seated in the middle point between the opposites.

Between the wants and needs and the aversions between the good and the bad.

Exactly in the middle.

So there is nothing that can shake it or disturb it.

Do you see what I am saying?

Find your middle point and rest there.

Cynthia is saying comfortably in the middle point like on a teeter-totter not up or down,

Only natural,

Exactly.

And awakened consciousness is so natural neutral but also natural.

It's an expression of being natural.

Very simple.

Very innocent.

What do you say?

Go back to my question again.

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

To peel away all the conditions from your heart and be completely exposed to experience anything a relationship has to offer?

Pleasurable or painful?

If not,

What is still coming between you and an open heart?

Now is the time to share.

This is your opportunity.

When you share it,

You also get rid of it.

That's the secret.

Who wants to get rid of his conditions?

Who wants to get rid of his conditions?

All the fears and all the trauma that I gained until now.

Very good.

So,

Now the question is do you really want to be free of your fears and the identity with the trauma?

Do you really want to discover who you really are without that identification?

Yes.

But the autopilot is stronger than me most of the time.

As long as you recognize that you are being controlled by an autopilot there is always the opportunity to take back the steering wheel and navigate the boat by yourself.

If you go back to my page on Insight Timer there is a talk about being the master of your own domain.

I recommend you listen to it.

Nothing is stronger than you.

That's an illusion.

No emotion,

No sensation,

No thought,

No idea,

No concept,

No experience is stronger than you,

You are bigger than anything that you can experience.

That's crucial to realize.

Any experience is like that play on the stage.

Things happen on that stage.

Sometimes it's a comedy,

Sometimes it's a stand-up show.

Things just keep on happening on that stage.

But you are the theater hall.

You are allowing whatever is happening to happen.

And the theater hall cannot be intimidated by the show that is currently being played.

You are never smaller,

Too small to allow whatever is happening to be fully experienced.

That's an illusion.

As you grow on the path you realize whatever is happening,

Pleasant or unpleasant,

It's happening because you can fully experience it,

Wholeheartedly.

And if you want to go deep into realizing the relationship you have with your trauma,

There is a whole course I recommend.

You go back to my page and you find that course,

Me and My Trauma.

Listen to that course.

It's very important.

As long as you are navigated,

Manipulated by your memory of things that happened in the past,

You will never be free.

There is nothing more important that you can do than grow beyond your fears.

Don't you agree?

Yes,

I am ready now for an open heart with all relationships,

Especially the one with myself first.

The letter says,

Yes,

But the outer palate is stronger.

No,

It's not stronger.

It's just an illusion.

Cynthia is saying,

Letting go of shame and guilt.

I am letting go of the identification with those conditions.

This is a miraculous state of being and much thanks to Yaron.

Thank you.

You know,

Shame and guilt.

When do we feel shame and guilt?

Shame and guilt can only appear in the gap between what is and what I believe it should have been.

Isn't it so?

The gap between what is and what I believe it should have been.

If there is no gap,

There is no room for shame or guilt or regret or anything like that.

You have an idea,

A concept in your head about what reality should have been.

You believe that you know better.

Reality is a mistake as it is.

It should have been different.

Then,

That is the definition of hell.

What is the definition of heaven?

The opposite.

Loving what is.

Letting go of the idea that you know better.

What should have happened?

So just work on your contradicting ideas about reality.

Stop arguing with reality.

You are going to lose.

Reality will win 100%.

Do you see what I am saying?

Close those gaps.

And you will realize that once they are closed,

There is no shame,

No guilt,

No regret.

They don't have room to flourish.

Pick up to realize that reality happens in a divine accuracy.

Divine accuracy.

Right?

What do you say?

Who didn't ask a question yet?

This is your chance.

Salvation now.

Who wants salvation?

How do I have faith in the future?

Don't have faith and fail.

Forget about the future.

Spirituality doesn't require your faith.

Faith is required when there is no direct experience.

There is no knowing.

What you don't know,

You need to believe in.

Because you don't know it.

So you believe because you heard somebody said so,

You read it in a book.

You believe as a concept,

As an idea.

Don't believe.

That's not what spirituality is about.

Don't believe anything anyone tells you.

Don't believe what I tell you.

You take that and put it into action.

Experience it.

And then you decide does it work for you or not.

If it doesn't work for you,

If you are unable to directly experience it,

It's irrelevant for you.

Don't bother.

That's one thing.

And the future?

Who cares about the future?

The future will take care of itself.

You worry about being present.

Life is happening now,

Not later.

Bring yourself back from whatever will happen,

Maybe,

Sometime,

To whatever is happening right now.

Life.

Life is happening.

Like John Lennon said,

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

Come back.

That's the whole journey.

Come back from the past and the future,

Back to the present.

That's it.

And you are realized.

That's it.

There is no other way to be.

Not from a spiritual perspective.

I always fear the future outcome,

But not from a spiritual perspective.

I'm just fearing the outcome of a situation.

Whatever is happening,

The consequences of your actions,

You give as a present,

Offering to the Divine.

Your responsibility is to do the best you can,

Full-heartedly.

That's it.

Consequences of that,

You give as an offering to the Divine.

And the Divine will decide what to do with it,

And how the future will look like.

It's not for you to decide anyways.

There is nothing that you can do to control that.

Whatever you are doing right now,

You do it full-heartedly.

That's it.

The consequences you give to the Divine.

It's always now.

So I choose to be here and now.

And repeating the peace.

Repeating the peace.

Now.

Yes.

We are all walking each other home.

What I allow for myself is also an invitation to you for the same.

Thank you Cynthia.

Jesus said,

Now is the time of salvation.

We walk by faith,

Not by it.

Well,

At least I agree with the first part of the sentence.

We walk by faith.

I don't require your faith.

Don't worry about being faithful.

Be honest.

Be sincere.

Be brave.

Be courageous.

But don't bother believing anything.

Don't bother believing anything.

Experience it.

Integrate it.

Become it.

Don't keep it as a concept,

A theory that you need to believe in.

Don't make a religion out of it.

Do you see the difference?

You be it.

Not as an idea,

But as a direct experience.

Be an expression of unconditional love.

Don't talk about it.

Be it.

Then you will be the most attractive person on this planet.

I tell you,

That is your destiny.

Unconditional.

I want to tell you that early July we are starting a session a series of talks that is called Tantra The Supreme Understanding I strongly recommend you sign up for this.

Find it on my Insight Timer web page and sign up for this course.

Don't miss it.

The best is to experience it live because it is a very energetic course and you want to be a part of that energy.

If you miss it,

It will be recorded.

You can listen to it.

I recommend listening to it again and again even if you participate in the live session.

It will take 10 meetings throughout July and August following the path of the Supreme Understanding.

I strongly recommend that you sign up for that.

I want to thank you very much for your participation tonight.

My night.

I don't know where you are.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I don't know where you are.

Your beautiful questions and your donations which are very appreciated.

I look forward to meeting all again next time.

Thank you very much.

Love you very much.

Bye bye.

Good night.