Finding The Right Guru

A beautiful and insightful discussion about the role of a Guru on the spiritual path, and how to recognize the right Guru for you? What criteria to use in order to make sure the Guru you choose is the most helpful for you? Join this journey to continue growing towards Self Awakening.

Transcript

Let's just sit comfortably on our seat.

Let's take a deep breath in and let go.

Let's close our eyes and take another deep breath in and let go.

And the next breath in we keep in,

We don't breathe out.

And slowly breathe out and let go.

Let go of all your efforts.

Let go of everything that already happened in the past.

And let go of everything that may happen in the future.

And allow your attention to come back to the present moment.

And be aware of whatever is happening right now,

Right here.

Become aware of your surroundings,

Voices that you may hear.

Become aware of the space of air that surrounds your body.

Become aware of the breath that is sucking air out of this space around your body.

And fills your lungs with oxygen,

With life.

Become aware of the natural rhythm of your breath,

As it happens quite spontaneously.

Become aware of the point in the base of your spine,

The first chakra.

Every breath in dives all the way down to the first chakra.

Become aware of the point at the top of your head,

The crown chakra.

Every breath in climbs to the top of your head,

Without straining your imagination.

Just allow that to happen.

Once again,

Become aware of the first chakra.

And allow your breath in to dive all the way down to that point.

And the top of your head.

And now every breath in goes up to the top of your head.

And every breath out dives all the way down to the first chakra.

Top of the head,

Base of the spine.

Top of the head,

Base of the spine.

Together with the natural rhythm of the breath.

Become aware of that inner space between those two points.

As the breath entangles and cleanses that space.

Entangles and cleanses that space within.

Fills it with prana,

With life energy.

And releases any strain or stress.

Become aware of the silence revealed in the very core of your being.

Allow that silence to grow and spread until it engulfs every cell of your body.

Allow it to grow more and more.

Allow it to grow beyond the borders of your room,

Of your house.

Allow it to expand more and more.

Beyond your city and your country.

Down to the middle of the earth.

And up into the heavens.

Until it expands beyond all realms of space and time.

Until there is nothing but silence.

And for one moment,

Become that silence.

Just take another deep breath in.

And let go.

Allow your attention to come back to your body as it is seated here upon its seat.

A part of our virtual circle.

So let's unite our individual intentions into one unified intention.

The intention to grow,

To develop,

To evolve.

With a smile,

Let's take another deep breath in.

And let go.

And when you feel comfortable,

You may open your eyes.

Hello again,

Welcome to this precious opportunity we give ourselves to hold hands and walk the path together,

Not just as individuals,

But also as a united consciousness that is here to evolve.

And that evolution is propelled by the tension that hides between your question and the answer,

As it always has throughout the ages.

Consciousness has always evolved because of the curiosity and the longing for the truth of the sincere seeker.

So we are here tonight to use this opportunity to grow by sharing our questions.

Anything that has to do with your spiritual path,

With your life,

With your ambitions,

With your relationships,

Anything that you feel that holds you back or still needs to be resolved.

Now is the opportunity.

So who wants to be the first one to jump into the virtual circle?

Who wants to be the first one to jump into the waters?

Don't be shy.

I can tell you a story if you want.

Back in 1880 in the southern part of India,

A child was born to a family of Brahmins.

But he himself was not interested at all in religion or religious studies.

He was more concerned about being good at sports.

Until something happened to him at the age of 16,

Which was a life-changing experience for him.

He spontaneously came to realize that he is about to die.

And that realization shook the core of his being.

But instead of contracting or rejecting that experience,

He just laid on the floor and open-heartedly welcomed that experience.

Ready to die.

He didn't die.

But his whole personality and perspective of life completely transformed.

And when his uncle came back from a business trip and told him about a place called Arunachala,

Which is a sacred mountain in Tamil Nadu,

Which is a country in the southern part of India,

He immediately knew that he needs to go there.

That this is his destiny.

So at the age of 16,

Try to remember what did you do at the age of 16?

He packed a bag and left his family never to return.

Took a train and after a few days he arrived to that sacred mountain.

And he sat there for four years in silence.

And then it was not enough for him.

So he climbed the mountain,

He found a cave,

And he sat in that cave for another seven years in silence.

And people started to gather the rumor about this special person sitting in the cave spread.

People started coming and sitting in front of him.

In silence to report life-changing experiences again and again and again,

Just by his presence.

And finally,

When he woke up from that period and started grounding himself back into the physical reality of his body,

And he started communicating with his disciples,

He found it very difficult to explain the essence of his experience in words.

So he said,

Whatever I'm saying,

This is just for the sake of those who don't understand the silence.

Because my teaching can be found only in silence.

He said,

At the end of any answer that I give to any question,

There is just silence.

This man was called Ramana Maharishi.

If you haven't heard about the name,

I strongly recommend YouTube him.

Read his books.

Quite fantastic.

So if you prefer,

We can just sit here in silence.

That's also quite remarkable.

Unless you have a question that you want to ask.

I am disillusioned by unholy practices of some gurus.

How to separate out good aspects of the practices they teach from harm they have done?

It's a very good question.

What is the role of a guru?

Why is there a guru on the spiritual path?

Guru is a source of light that can help you light your path as you find your way.

Guru is like a window that allows the light to penetrate your room and fill your house with light.

We say that a relationship with a guru is unique.

Because unlike any other relationship you have,

The reflection of your own self through that relationship is for the first time pure and not tainted with the other person's preconceptions about you,

About what's right and wrong.

It's clean of any judgment.

And there is only one ego playing in that relationship between you and your guru.

And that is your ego.

So in that sense,

A relationship with a guru is very unique.

If you really are sincere in your quest towards self-liberation,

You would eagerly seek for such a relationship.

So your ego can be completely clear to you through that relationship.

But how to find out the right guru for you?

That's a very good question.

I would say that the criteria I would recommend to use in order to verify that the guru that you chose is the right guru for you is that of the element of freedom.

Ask yourself if through the relationship between you and your guru,

Do you feel more free or less free?

Do you feel that you are expanding and finding more and more degrees of freedom in your life,

In the way you perceive life?

Or do you feel that your freedom is actually contracting and you are more and more bound by that relationship?

So I would suggest that.

You may learn from one guru until a certain time when you start feeling that that relationship bounds you and the guru starts to tell you what to do.

And what not to do.

That is the time to find a new guru.

I tell you,

Gurus are not there to tell you what to do.

Guru is not a priest or a rabbi.

Spirituality is not religious.

A true guru is not concerned about what you do or not do,

But is concerned about inspiring you to ever more grow towards self-liberation.

What you do with that is your business.

It has nothing to do with the guru.

Do you see what I am saying?

So if the guru starts to tell you that you should do that,

You should not do that,

And you feel constrained,

More and more constrained,

Then you know it is time to move forward.

Do you know what I am saying?

Thank you for that story.

The theme of silence has been coming up in my life.

I entered the new year pondering a quote by Frank Ocean,

Do your work in silence,

Let success be your noise.

Very good.

Or at least,

If you can't,

Do that.

Redefine what success is.

What is a successful practice?

How do you know that you have succeeded?

What I would recommend is redefining what success is,

Instead of putting conditions on the end result of your doing,

And trying to define success by the result.

Redefine what success is.

Redefine success to the measure of how much you are able to open your heart and do whatever you are doing,

100%.

If you do it 95%,

You almost succeeded.

But if you do it 100%,

Full heartedly,

Or as my mantra goes,

With a full heart and a willing soul,

If you do it that way,

You have succeeded already.

It doesn't matter the end result.

The end result you give as an offering to the Divine.

They will decide what to do with that,

With your 100%.

That's it.

Being in a healthy mental state in order to help others on the path.

Yes,

Open heart.

That is challenging for me at times.

To the people that walk on the path that I am leading,

The path is called the white path.

To those people I repeat again and again,

That the essence of everything we learn,

The essence of everything we practice,

The ultimate goal of all our sadhana and all of our teaching is to be able to experience life with a full heart and a willing soul.

That's it.

If you ever wondered why spirituality is there,

What's the point of the spiritual practice?

This is the point.

This is the bottom line of all bottom lines.

Open your heart to include everything,

Any experience,

Pleasant or unpleasant,

The Divine as well as the mundane.

Everything.

Open your heart to that.

Open your heart to the is-ness of things.

When are you unable to do that?

When are you unable to fully experience,

Fully embrace the present moment?

When instead of being here,

You are concentrated here in your intellect,

Trying to define,

Trying to tag your experience.

Usually that leads inevitably to some sort of a struggle with reality.

Either because reality is bad,

According to the intellect,

And you are manipulating it to avoid it or reject it,

Or because reality is good,

According to your intellect,

And now you are trying to hold on to it and make sure it doesn't change,

Which never happens.

It always changes.

So when your attention goes from here to here,

Your heart is closing.

So the whole spiritual journey is about 30 centimeters from here to here.

That's it.

It's not too long,

Is it?

30 centimeters.

What do you say?

Make sense?

To go back to the question about the guru,

I tell you,

To complete my answer,

The presence of a guru is so precious,

So precious.

So yes,

You should always keep a watching eye on that criteria that I've shared.

Make sure that you just keep expanding and growing in the presence of the guru that you chose.

But nevertheless,

As long as you haven't made a decision to leave that guru and find somebody else,

My recommendation is to completely surrender,

Surrender to that choice you made to follow that guru,

That teacher.

Surrender is the key factor in the success of your spiritual journey.

And the presence of a master or guru can accelerate that dramatically,

Especially if you are willing to surrender.

I tell you,

Doubt holds you,

Nails you to the ground.

The doubt nails you to the ground.

Doesn't allow you to progress.

You know,

There are different kinds of doubt.

You may doubt yourself,

Believing that you are not ready,

You are not worthy,

Or that you need something else,

Something more active,

Something more concrete.

You know,

You have many prerequisitions and you are not ready for that.

Or you may doubt the method,

The teaching,

The practices that your guru is teaching.

No,

I need something more,

You know,

Different.

Or you may doubt the teacher.

I'm not sure about him.

Maybe he has some kind of a secret agenda.

You know,

And I tell you,

Those doubts,

Burn them.

Burn those doubts.

Know that your doubts are holding you back.

And you are unable to surrender when you are doubtful.

How to burn the doubt?

Inquire,

Investigate,

Learn,

Ask people,

Whatever you need to do.

Make a decision.

Yes or no.

It's okay.

Yes is good,

No is also good.

But that may be,

I'm not sure,

That keeps you on the fence.

While life happens on both sides of the fence.

You see what I'm saying?

And you are not a part of it because you are sitting on the fence trying to make up your mind.

So burn the doubt,

Jump and surrender to your choice and the consequences of that choice.

Only then you can really grow beyond your self-portraited doubts.

In that sense,

If you ever asked yourself what is an awakened consciousness,

It's simply a consciousness that stops doubting.

Stops doubting itself.

That it realizes it is beyond doubt.

So definitely find a guru and surrender.

Surrender to the guru.

I understand what you are saying about the guru.

How does one find one?

Where to seek?

Maybe Insight Timer is a good platform.

I don't know.

There are many teachers here.

Maybe you already found one and you are just not aware of it yet.

You know,

Just observe how your heart feels in the presence of a potential guru.

Does your heart feel like,

Yes,

Here is my opportunity to open up and expand?

Or is your heart goes like,

Hmm?

I tell you,

If you just live in that blissful state and send that invitation to the universe saying,

Yes,

I am ready for a master in my life,

He will find you.

Don't worry.

He will find you.

Just keep your eyes open.

Inquisitive eyes.

And keep the longing in you burning.

The longing to come back home.

The longing for the truth.

The rest will take care of itself.

What do you say?

Another good criteria to use when searching for a guru is that the guru doesn't need anything from you.

The guru cannot need anything.

He is already satisfied.

He is the manifestation of satisfaction.

You don't need to prove yourself worthy.

The guru loves you as you are right now,

Not the future version of you.

You know how many couples you know that stick together based on the belief that the partner can change.

You know that?

You know those couples?

I know him.

He can be better.

He can change.

That's why I stick.

Because I know he can improve.

That's not how a relationship with your master works.

The master doesn't need anything from you.

Anything.

If he starts telling you,

I need you to do this or I need you to do that,

You have to find somebody else.

Run for the hills.

And the same goes to you.

The master is just a reminder of who you already are.

So if the master is not waiting for you to change,

You don't wait for you to change.

Stop doubting yourself as you are right now.

The only thing between you and enlightenment is only one idea that separates you and enlightenment.

That's the idea that you are not ready.

It's not possible here and now as you are.

Something else,

A different version of me is waiting to be revealed.

More mature,

More evolved,

Whatever idea you have in your head about who you should be.

You are already.

You are that.

You are that already.

Complete.

You are a perfect specimen of a complete and holistic being.

And if there is an evolution going on,

It's only from one version of perfection to a wider version of perfection.

That's it.

It's not from a broken version of you to a fixed version of you.

You are not broken.

And there is nothing to fix.

And if you cannot grow beyond self-doubt,

Then use the eyes of your master to do so.

See yourself as a pure consciousness through your master's eye.

You know something beautiful my grandmother taught me when I was a kid?

She said,

Have you ever recognized that in Hebrew,

I come from Israel,

When you want to say to someone that you like her,

I like you,

Translates in Hebrew directly to,

You find grace in my eyes.

That's how we say I like you in Hebrew.

You find grace in my eyes.

Isn't that beautiful?

So if you cannot recognize that grace when you look in the mirror in the washroom,

Find the eyes of your master and recognize that grace,

Which is you.

You are that grace.

And the master is just there to show it to you.

This is who you are.

This is who you already are.

What do you say?

I wonder why that one makes me want to cry.

Does emotion get in the way of self-realization?

No,

No,

Don't hold emotion in.

Let be courageous enough to cry when it comes.

Emotions are not a problem.

Maybe something deep inside you is awaking.

And that could be very emotional.

It's okay to be emotional.

Don't be afraid of your emotions.

Whatever is being experienced,

Embrace it.

Happiness or sadness.

Does emotion get in the way of self-realization?

The only thing that can get between you and self-realization is your intellect trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Trying to tag your experience as good or bad.

The Buddha already said that 2,

600 years ago.

Craving and aversion.

Craving for the good,

Aversion for the bad.

You have to stop that.

Self-realization is all about going beyond that intellect.

Realizing that your intellect doesn't help.

Intellect ahead,

Ahead,

Again,

Again.

I need to figure out what the hell is going on here.

I need to stay in control.

I'm telling you,

The ultimate realization of a fully matured intellect is the realization that the intellect is not here to understand.

A fully mature intellect realizes its own limitations.

And that reality is much more mysterious than what the intellect can grasp as a concept,

As an idea.

It's not going to happen.

And when it matures to realize that,

It lets go.

Then you are available to do the journey back to your heart.

What is self-realization?

An explosion of the heart that is not bounded by any idea anymore,

Any fear,

Any reservation.

Not about life and not about myself.

Not about the future,

Not about the past.

It is completely available.

Available to love.

Yes,

I will take that 30 centimeter trip.

Good.

Let's all embark on that trip.

That's it.

You're home.

So I'm going to leave you with that invitation.

Let's all embark on that trip from the head to the heart to realize our potential.