Tolerance.
I feel that lack of tolerance is a flaw in our society nowadays and causes a lot of unnecessary tension.
Tolerance leads to compassion,
While lack of tolerance leads to close-mindedness.
What I mean by lack of tolerance is having some sort of resistance,
Refusal toward people or events that are different and wanting to change them,
Even though they're out of your control and don't concern you.
Some people are easily outraged by witnessing people who have a lifestyle that they somehow disapprove.
Some people can't help themselves feeling bothered when they meet people with divergent point of views or different types of clothing or beliefs or careers.
A lot of people can tolerate a limited dose of diversity.
You might yourself have a weak spot,
A certain aspect of life that you are not so open-minded about.
I started reflecting on this human problem when I noticed how some people tend to be uncomfortable around homeless people for example.
Most of us are unfortunately affected by the stigma that surrounds homeless people.
A bunch of preconceived ideas might be activated in our heads by default in their presence.
The most common ones are probably lazy,
Drug addict,
Dangerous,
Dirty,
Alcoholic,
Untrustworthy and the list goes on.
But the truth is,
There's a bunch of reasons that could lead anybody to end up in a bad position.
And as a matter of fact,
We do not know these reasons.
But since we carry bad references,
It is easy to react negatively and even with hostility because of our conscious judgement and unconscious bias.
But deeper than that,
Something triggers people when encountering what they could consider shocking behaviours or situations.
Something somehow really triggers some people's aggressivity,
Uneasiness and makes them react out of proportion.
As if they were personally concerned by some stranger's behaviour on the streets or even on TV.
It is because that specific situation means something to them,
Evokes some doubts or fears buried deep down.
If we keep the example of people being outraged by the presence of homeless people in the streets in a judgemental way,
We could suppose that he or she might be unsettled because seeing a person in a situation like this might make them imagine themselves in that situation.
And the outburst of rage comes out of a place of insecurity since they just saw something that confronted their ideals and made them think that life is unpredictable and can be ugly since some people are living in horrible conditions and it cannot always be their only fault.
So try to picture yourself in a situation when you reacted strongly to something,
Whether it was internally or externally.
Ask yourself,
What does this reaction has to teach me about myself?
Do not judge you for judging,
Cause it's more hate on top and it's not the point.
But observe yourself and ask yourself,
What bothers you so much in this situation?
What makes you uncomfortable?
What weakness or belief has that situation pointed out to you?
Is it fear?
Anger?
Insecurity that you feel?
Was it because it confronted your personal values and ideals?
Did it make you doubt yourself?
But then ask yourself why you would feel threatened by the situation.
Why is that situation supposed to be in any way a menace to who you are?
What is it that makes you hang on so fiercely,
Aggressively,
Almost desperately to your resistance,
To the denial or refusal of what is happening before your eyes?
Why do you feel the need to react to this?
Be honest with yourself and look into what's bothering you.
You might find some surprising answers.
Listening to the sources of your reactions,
In other words paying attention to how you really feel,
Is an act of compassion and care towards yourself.
And therefore,
It increases your compassion in general.
And by understanding where your reaction comes from,
You will see how that has nothing to do in fact with the person or the event that's making you uncomfortable.
It is all about an insecurity that was already there and which came up to the surface.
So this is why every moment like this is an opportunity to get to know yourself and do what people call grow.
Don't be afraid to care.
