Resisting the Present Through Obsessive Thinking

This lecture is about obsessive thinking, our problematic relationship with thoughts, and the harm it causes us. It reflects on the nature of thoughts and how to respond to them according to the practice of meditation according to zen. It exposes the simple fact that our thoughts are not who we are, and then builds up from there.

Transcript

Hi,

Thank you for being here.

I wanted to talk to you about thoughts,

Obsessive thinking,

More specifically,

And the resistance we face towards our thoughts,

And how our perception of our thoughts,

Our relationship with them,

Affects our perception of reality.

So thinking,

Especially obsessive thinking,

Is a curious thing,

Because we find that the more we fight against thoughts,

The stronger they get.

It is extremely destabilizing to notice that the more we put effort into clearing off the thoughts,

Getting rid of them,

Arguing with them,

The more we find ourselves drowning deeper into an endless raging flow of thoughts that carries us away.

It goes against many other aspects of life in which the more we fight,

The more we put effort,

The more we seem to get what we want.

But then when it comes to thoughts,

That strong will of taking control doesn't apply anymore.

It is very confusing to realize that if you engage in a fight with your thoughts,

You'll never see the end of it.

The more you struggle,

The harder it gets.

So it is essential to realize that ceasing to think doesn't equal ceasing to exist.

It is in fact the opposite,

Because your thoughts are not you.

They emanate from your mind,

So they can't be the mind itself.

They emanate from it,

Just like ripples on the surface of water when you throw a rock in it.

When you throw too many rocks,

There are so many ripples that you can't see anymore what lies beneath the surface of the water.

You can only watch the ripples,

The blurred water,

And you might even think this is reality,

Because you forgot that there was something more to the ripples,

Something underneath.

Thoughts are only agitation on the surface,

But deep down there is a place of calm that can't get blurred.

You know that place where words can't reach.

It's a place of silence.

When you choose to embrace silence,

You set yourself free.

Your mind is liberated from the unceasing thoughts that it feels entitled to.

You don't have any obligation toward your thoughts.

You can let them go at any moment.

Listening to your thoughts too much instead of observing them is like choosing illusion over reality,

Because it's choosing the ripples instead of a clear view of what's inside the water.

Don't let them scare you.

Anxious thoughts are simply a distorted reflection of your fears bound to past experiences through which you see the present in a blurry,

Distorted way.

Your past is literally throwing rocks at you on the surface of the calm water,

Which is your present moment.

Reality isn't inside your thoughts.

It is simply out there in the calm nature of things,

Everywhere around you and inside you.

Thoughts are nothing more than interpretations of this reality,

Because reality is in constant change.

It is moving,

Dancing with you.

You can't make it stay still just so you can get a hold of it.

You can't cling to it like an object.

The moment you grasp something,

It is already gone,

Because it had already changed.

The thing you wanted to immortalize doesn't exist anymore.

And the more you want to catch it,

The more you miss the point.

And it feels desperate,

Exhausting,

And the discomfort keeps growing.

There is a moment where you can't keep this up.

Just let it go.

Letting go,

We hear that all the time,

But no one really seems to do it.

It is because in order to let go,

You must realize that you weren't even holding anything in the first place.

The exhaustion comes from the ceaseless effort to convince yourself that you are in control,

When really you have never been.

Remember that thinking things have never made any of those things true.

We cling to thoughts for the purpose of filling the blank space of uncertainty.

Uncertainty is change.

It is a place where anything can happen.

By clinging to thoughts,

We ignore the deep,

Wise silence within us.

In this silence resides the profound knowledge,

The innate consciousness,

That everything is alright,

That there is nothing that you ought to do.

Change is effortless.

It is the natural state of things.

Whether we resist it or not,

Change happens.

So the best we can do is to go with it.

See the good in it.

It's like a ride.

Just let yourself go with it.

You are in it already.

You are part of it.

You are changing simultaneously with this universe.

Holding on is an act of contraction of the mind,

While letting go is setting it free.

Letting it be what it wants to be.

Letting it go where it wants to go.

Choose acceptance over resistance and movement over immobility.

Just like the body accumulates tension,

So does the mind.

Recognize this inner tension.

Recognize this obstacle you are imposing yourself.

Nothing is forcing you to hold on to what doesn't serve you.

The thoughts in your head are imagined by you.

You are the one that's keeping them alive,

So it's up to you to decide if you let them disappear.

You are not your thoughts.

You are everything you love.

Your identity isn't contained inside your thoughts.

You are free.

Your essence is free of any external limitation.

You are water.

You are the wind.

You are entire galaxies.

Don't try to contain yourself into words,

Because classifying is clinging.

Clinging to stationary concepts in this world of change.

That's why it doesn't make sense.

That would be an endless effort leading nowhere.

You don't have to feel,

To constantly feel like you know.

Like you're in control by knowing.

By getting a false sense of knowledge of everything that goes on around you.

You don't constantly have to explain to yourself what you're doing.

You just have to do it.

Do your thing.

There is nothing to be scared of.

In silence,

Everything comes to life.

Listen to the voice of your silence.

Let it speak to you.

There is absolutely nothing that you need to do.

Explore the whole spectrum of your sensations.

You are eternally free here and now.

Reviews

That was helpful. Thanks for creating and sharing.

This is such a powerful message. I'm going to listen to it several times to let your wise, wise words sink in.

Deeply insightful.

Thanks you

Thank you

Every word from this talk feels like an insight. So much to take from this.

So clear and insightful and simple that it’s powerful

I have Been stagnant and immobile for far longer than I had realized. This meditation was very well put to understand your own immobilization and barriers you put up for yourself to help you break through them. Thank you so so much for making this meditation ❤️

This was really eye-opening for me. Thank you. Blessings ❤️

Excellent, like the other talks and meditations. Thank you.

Uplifting and heartfelt. Thank you for this.

I absolutely love this meditation! I struggle alot with my obsessive thoughts, I will definitely listen to this anytime I forget that I am not in control, and thinking more wont change that❤️
Thank you Roxanne!

Thank you, your potent and beautiful words resonated with me today

Thanks, i needed to be reminded of this, this morning. ☯️

Just an incredible experience. Struggling with OCD for an entire life, it's a huge relief to hear someone that targets intrusive thoughts so well and helps let fear go away. Will definitively come back to this!

Thank you so much for this amazing talk. It is so insightful and exactly what I needed to hear.

Your wise words really reasonated with me. In a sense words are ones’ thoughts expressed. Accepting, allowing and then letting go of ones’ obsessive thoughts can be a path to inner peace. I wish you much peace, quiet, health and happiness! Thank you and may peace be with you.

Amazing thank you

I have no words to thank you enough for making this guided meditation available in this platform. So I’ll just send you some love and light instead. Namaste.

This was profound. Thank you so much, I'm going to listen a few times and let your gracious words of wisdom sink in. Much love.