Stigma & Relapse In Mental Illness

This is all about some social aspects of mental illness and how it relates to relapses and the additional difficulties on the path of recovery generated by stigma. Never forget that mental illness, just like any other aspect of one's interiority, is incompatible with any rigid definition, since it evolves with the individual who copes with it and is experienced and expressed differently depending on the personal and situational context.

Transcript

Hi,

Insight people!

I hope you're doing well.

So today I want to share with you a subject that I feel compelled to put out there since it has been on my mind for quite a while now,

And I sure hope it will come across as at least a little bit helpful for those who are concerned,

And informative for the rest of you.

So without further ado,

Today I want to discuss stigma in regards to mental health,

And how it has a negative impact on the recovery process for those of us who struggle with our mental health,

And try and hope to get better.

So in a way,

The various forms of stigma that we can encounter on a daily basis interferes with the recovery process by making some form of relapses easier because of the thoughts and emotions and can poke inside ourselves.

In other words,

It just can make us more prone to fall back in a bad mental state.

So there's actually some tricky forms of stigma that can really be triggering,

And I think that bringing them to our awareness can help us empower ourselves in a way over them by recognizing that they are something you ultimately cannot control,

And that you don't need to get caught up into it,

And to let it push you into the dark pit again.

I personally see stigmatization as one of the obstacles that somebody on the path of recovery will encounter at some point,

And just makes it a little bit extra hard.

And in that way,

It's yet another trap,

Because reacting to stigma with strong emotions can suck you back into the abyss very quickly,

As you may already know,

If you let your focus be drawn to them.

And when you're already in a headspace that is hostile to yourself,

It's quite easy to hang on to this.

So today a lot of awareness has been spread,

And a lot of people,

I'd like to think the majority of them,

Recognize that mental illness is a real and serious thing that affects a lot of people in various ways,

But there are a lot of misconceptions that are still prevalent and creates misunderstanding.

And because of that,

It almost mystifies mental illness,

And treats it like something that either has no reason to be,

Or as something we don't want to see.

And it really just aggravates the isolation of people dealing with it.

Recovery is a lifelong process for a lot of people.

Mental illness is like a monster chasing you.

It's not a one-time deal,

But a lifelong run.

You have to be sharper than the monster at all times,

Or else he could just pick you up and eat you alive.

Every minute of every day we have to really pay attention to our thoughts,

Otherwise the monster does it for you.

When you're not aware,

We leave the door open for the darkness to come in.

And that is when the teachings of meditation comes in handy,

Because by learning to be aware of your thoughts,

You ultimately gain control over what you choose to pay attention to,

And which thoughts are intruders in your mind.

So in line with the topic of stigma,

I do believe that there is a double standard weighing on people struggling with mental illness,

Which is at one point we might have felt that people want us to express our condition in such a way that they take us seriously,

But not to the extent where it shows too much.

For example,

They would want to see us sad,

But not depressed,

Nervous,

But not anxious,

Energetic,

But not maniac.

So you might have felt that some people need to see you suffer in order to take it seriously,

But also at the same time they don't want your problem to be too noticeable,

Because then it gets too much,

Too uncomfortable or challenging or whatever the reason may be.

And that is a very,

Very thin line that we feel like we have to walk on,

Even though nobody even criticized us,

It's already something we fear for the most part,

That people are going to be sick of us if we don't get better fast enough,

Or if we're not normal often enough.

And so in line with this idea,

It reminded me of a quote that really sums up that social aspect that is sometimes hard to bear.

So it's actually from the movie The Joker,

But I'm not saying here that that movie is completely right about everything regarding mental illness,

And I'm also not suggesting that we all put on clown makeup and get angry at society when we experience rejection.

The only thing I'm saying is that in the movie there is a quote at some point that is really powerful and accurate,

And I want to share it with you so it goes like this.

The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.

So that sums up the point pretty well.

The next thing I want to expose is maybe at some point you've been told something like,

Well,

My brother had depression and he still managed to go to work,

So why wouldn't you do the same?

These types of ill-advised comments are among the most invalidating things you could tell somebody.

The stigma that generates comments like this is a misconception according to which everybody who receives the same diagnosis are in the exact same position and have the exact same symptoms and capacities,

And that you could basically just apply the same recipe for everybody.

Saying something among those lines is also not very supportive and basically tells the other person that they are exaggerating if not faking their symptoms,

Which is really at the opposite of support,

And comes off as a form of emotional violence,

Even if it's not voluntary.

Another frustrating aspect of mental illness and how it relates to social interactions is that we might have been asked by people to make sense of our turmoil and justify what is happening when we are having a breakdown.

But there are moments,

And especially breakdowns,

Where it's simply not possible to be that coherent first,

Because we're stuck in a spiral,

But also in moments of deep agitation,

We have to take the time it takes to calm down before thinking to explain what is going on to other people.

Going into detailed justifications of why you're crying or why you're so angry might not be helpful for you at the moment,

And you might do it only because you feel the pressure to do so.

And that can really be panicking because you cannot do more than simply take the time to calm yourself down and reground yourself.

The last aspect that I want to explore with you a bit is the recovery paradox,

Which is a very subtle phenomenon that we might encounter in its most insidious forms at times.

So to make my point,

Let's make an example.

Let's imagine that a person,

And maybe that has been your case,

Takes a leave of absence from work because of mental health difficulties.

That person obviously wants to get better and has made a smart move by temporarily removing themselves from their workplace while they get better.

And sadly,

This is actually not always a choice coming from the individual.

Not everybody recognizes that it would be healthier for them to stop working.

But let's picture that person that has been on a leave of absence for a couple of months and who often struggles to get out of bed and do small daily tasks.

But on the other hand,

That person recognizes that they need to take care of themselves in order to get better.

So let's say that one day they summon the strength to grab a coffee with a friend,

Which,

By the way,

Having someone to connect to and to talk to is incredibly important when it comes to giving ourselves hope in our own lives and bring ourselves some joy.

So they sit at the table in the coffee shop and sure enough,

They stumble on a colleague,

An acquaintance colleague that haven't heard from them since they left for mental health reasons.

Most of us,

If we were put in that person's shoes,

Would feel at first,

Uncomfortable and nervous to see that colleague because we might know by experience that the colleague might think that we were never really sick to begin with and that we are faking to take advantage of whatever there is to take advantage of.

And my point is,

Why is it that we could feel that we would feel guilty to look normal in a coffee shop,

Which,

By the way,

Took enormous amounts of courage to accomplish?

We somehow feel like we don't have the right to look happy or at least moderately comfortable because people expect us to be visibly broken and if we aren't,

Then we are accused of not being sick enough,

Which is very,

Very twisted.

Like being on leave of absence obligates you to stay in the darkest place for every minute of it because otherwise it's being a lazy person avoiding work for no reason.

But if you were to do that and literally do nothing,

Then there is no hope to even get out of the dark pit and let alone going back to work one day.

Some people might also have experienced that sort of subtle tyranny in their families,

Being basically accused by family members of not being really depressed or anxious simply because they personally cannot tell from their own eyes and also they see you 5% of the time.

And it kind of encourages us to stay curled up in the hole in some way because when we are doing our best to get better,

We may look normal enough for people to question the whole thing and in the end it really just shows how little they understand the depth of mental illness.

So that's on them.

That's their problem.

But it can be hurtful and really hard not to feel bad about it.

And you can also get a weird imposter syndrome like,

Wait a minute,

What if these people are right and that I'm just a scam trying to get my way around things?

So it can deeply harm you,

Especially depending on the nature of the relationship between you and the person sending you these mixed signals of,

I want you to get better but when you do actually try to get better,

I make you feel like you never really had a real medical problem.

So that is insane,

People.

Let's mention on top of everything that someone's internal suffering is not always noticeable from the outside and observing somebody and thinking that the way they look is enough data to judge them is just completely off track.

And also let's mention that even when you're struggling,

It cannot be completely dark 100% of the time.

There are always moments,

Even if they're only for a couple minutes,

Where it's going to feel like maybe 10% less dark and if somebody from the outside catches you at that very moment,

It's easy for them to think you're fine.

And ultimately there is always people roaming around trying to tell you what you are and what you should do,

So it applies to the field of mental illness as well.

But trying to get the most out of the moments of peace or relative calm,

Fully being there and breathing through it,

Is the best thing we can do for our mental health and for our recovery.

These are small victories and nobody can take them away from us.

I think it's important to respect our own needs and boundaries because our mental health is more important than anybody's opinion of our situation.

Really we've got to cherish every bit of happiness that comes to us.

It's a priority.

It's the most precious thing that we have to be at peace with ourselves and with the world by the same occasion.

I think we simply cannot afford worrying what other people think because the stakes are way too high.

It only brings devastation.

So I hope this was somewhat interesting for you.

I don't know how you felt about it.

If you have experienced yourself,

Some of the things that I've brought up,

These are,

I think,

Issues that at some point people with mental illness can stumble upon.

And the important thing is to keep our center close to our hearts,

If it makes sense.

To stay centered every time we remember it because that's all we have and will ever have.

So in this way we are already saved either way but we just have to remind it to ourselves sometimes because of course it can get very hard.

And I wanted you all to know that you're not alone.

So thank you so much for listening.

I wish you all the best and let me tell you,

You can do this.

Reviews

This is one of the most powerful and insightful descriptions of the incredibly difficult task of navigating mental illness within the confines of the perception of those who are not living in your body and mind. I have listened to hundreds of meditations and you have described the experience with amazing depth and accuracy. Thank you so much for taking the time to compose and share this with the world, especially to those, like myself, who struggle to find a way through long term mental illness while walking the fine line of attempting to appear normal when possible and expressing the difficulty of carrying on while we are still not well.

Yes this is absolutely true. Stigma impacts relapse recovery. We need so much self love, plus nonjudgemental support from loved ones. Thank you 🙏 looking to the light from the darkness

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟I wish I could give this a 10 star review (I guess I technically did with emojis) this was incredibly validating. My authoritarian grandparents were the epitome of “well you LOOK fine, so therefore you ARE fine.” They were both extremely mentally ill themselves but were born in a time where mental illness and trauma were stigmatized off the charts, so they never addressed their extreme depression and anxiety, nor the damage they did to their kids and grandchildren. I will be listening to this many more times 🙏✨💖✨thank you (for anyone sensitive to sound, there is an intermittent high pitched ringing in the background)

I surely need to listen again to cover more of my grasping these so true and helpful words. Bless you 🙏🏼

Very kind and thoughtful

Encouraging and informative, thank you 🙏

Well said Roxanne. I can relate. Thanks for putting into words some of my experiences. Thank you 🙏

Great takeaways and concepts to be aware off. I wish it was narrated slightly slower, to give me the opportunity to absorb and digest the power of eye-opening pieces. Great though. Make a note of the things that spoke to you and revisit. Good!

Wow, thank you so much for this talk🙏 It's speaks to me in so many ways and I find myself in all the things and situations you mention. It is hard not to give stigma so much power and I greatly appreciate you speaking up - I will definitely share your message ❣️ You gave me some confidence and made me feel so understood. Thank you 🙏

INSIGHTFUL, WISE, COMPASSIONATE, ENCOURAGING and INSPIRATIONAL❣️
Thank you for sharing you COURAGE with us. 🙏🏻💕

Wise words to follow for those experiencing emotional wellness matters.

Thank you for your insights and understanding of mental health issues. I do have a mental illness and everything that you said is so true. Especially other people's misconceptions having a huge impact on our individual suffering and striving to maintain wellness. The quote from the movie was also very true.
Thank you so much for sharing this again. 🦋

Very powerful, I work I the mental health field and you are very insightful and you have given me new insight. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing. I hope you have an opportunity to share this in a TED or TEDx Talk. Well done!

Wow this is amazing thank you! I was really feeling frustrated and you have made me feel less alone! Thank you!

Thank you for this talk....I can relate to it in so many ways.

Very informative and reassuring. Thank you!