I often struggle with trusting myself and I noticed this came up the more deeper I dove into my healing journey.
At a certain point in my journey I found myself struggling to identify what was a trauma response and what was my authentic truth.
So I taught myself to get curious about the energy that was fueling these behaviors.
I would ask myself questions like what energy is driving this behavior right now?
Is it the energy of needing to prove myself,
The energy of control,
The energy of scarcity,
Or is this my truth?
If I was operating from a place of wounding or fear and I'm not in danger,
I pause and don't take another step unless I'm able to move forward from a place of truth,
Authenticity,
And a regulated nervous system.
Before you can identify whether you are operating from a place of truth versus a place of wounding,
Limitations,
Or fear,
I think it would be helpful to start with understanding what these different energies feel like in the body.
For example,
I could be operating from my truth but that is scary to face or I feel sad that I have to walk away from something.
It can be easy to confuse that fear or sadness as something that is coming from a place of wounding.
When I am operating from a place of truth that feels scary to take action on,
It will feel different than the energy of fear that comes from a place of wounding.
Once we have a good understanding of how our truth feels in our body because it can feel different for everyone,
We can have a more confident foundation to stand on when we identify what energy is fueling a behavior or thought.
So let's go ahead and practice this together.
We are going to start out by cleansing,
Protecting,
And grounding our space.
It's important to engage in these steps especially if we are vulnerable by being new to the practice.
We want to make sure nothing other than love and truth is coming through.
Some tools that you will need but are not required are incense,
Candles,
And any items that represent the element of earth for additional grounding.
This can be crystals,
Plants,
Dirt,
Salt,
Clay pots,
Sticks,
Flowers,
Or a bowl of corn or rice.
We will be connecting to earth energy so we could just stick with that if you don't have anything handy.
If you do not have incense or candles,
We can use the breath for cleansing.
I would also recommend a piece of paper and something to write with.
These tools are just additional support and are not going to impact the effectiveness of your practice.
Go ahead and pause the meditation if you would like,
And when you're ready,
Let's begin.
If you are using the tools,
Just take a moment to set the intention for the candles and incense to support you in cleansing the space.
Clearing and burning away anything that doesn't come from the energy of love and truth.
Set an intention with the earth elements to provide grounding for the nervous system.
And then together,
Everyone can set an intention with our breath as we take a nice big inhale that,
Like a magnet,
It is collecting all of the energies in our body that are made up of wounding,
Limitations,
And fear,
And releasing those energies into the earth so that we do not recycle the energy back out into the room or world,
But give it to the earth for her to use and transmute into something useful.
Taking a nice big inhale,
Watching your breath fill up your entire body like a balloon,
And then on your exhale,
Imagine releasing all of that energy down into the earth.
On your next big inhale,
Again,
Watching the body fill up like a balloon.
Maybe you give your breath a color,
A color that feels cleansing to you,
And on your next big exhale,
Imagine releasing that breath,
That color,
Down into the earth.
Maybe you imagine the earth recycling that energy into flowers,
Fresh grass,
Or seeds that will one day become food or trees.
I'm going to be quiet now as you take a few cycles at your own pace.
Now go ahead and think of something that feels true for you.
It can be a place in nature that you resonate with,
A hobby that you genuinely enjoy,
Or a decision that you have recently made.
As you hold your example of truth in your mind's eye,
Take a moment and observe sensations in your physical body.
Notice what part of your body your attention is drawn to.
Notice if any images or colors come to mind.
Notice if you hear any sounds,
Smell or taste anything.
Notice any emotions or feelings that are present.
Notice just how your presence feels,
How your energy feels.
Take some time here to just observe without judgment,
Without forcing or gripping.
I'll be quiet for a bit while you observe,
And you're more than welcome to open your eyes and write down your observations as they come up,
Or you may do so in a few moments.
If you haven't already,
Take a few moments to write down your observations.
Now go ahead and think of something that you can identify as a thought or behavior coming from a place of wounding or fear.
Again,
Take a moment and observe sensations in your physical body.
Notice what part of your body your attention is drawn to.
Notice if any images or colors come to mind.
Notice if you can hear anything,
Smell or taste anything.
Notice any emotions or feelings that are present.
Notice just how your presence feels,
How your energy feels.
Take some time here to just observe without judgment,
Without forcing or gripping.
Again,
Feel free to open your eyes and write down your observations as they come up,
Or wait till my cue.
If you haven't already,
Take a few moments to write down your observations.
Let's go ahead and once again set an intention with our breath.
As we take a nice big inhale that,
Like a magnet,
It is collecting all of the energies in our body that are made up of wounding,
Limitations,
Or fear,
And releasing those energies into the earth so that we do not recycle that energy back out,
But give it to the earth for her to use and transmute into something useful.
Taking a nice big inhale,
Watching your breath fill up your entire body like a balloon,
And then on your exhale imagine releasing all of that energy down into the earth.
On your next big inhale,
Again watching the body fill up like a balloon.
Maybe you visualize that same color that you connected to the first time,
Or maybe you feel drawn to a different color.
On your next big exhale,
Imagine releasing that breath,
That color down into the earth,
Connecting back with that imagery of the earth,
Recycling your energy into flowers,
Fresh grass,
Or seeds that will one day become food or trees.
Take a few cycles at your own pace.
Now allow your breath to go back to a normal breathing pattern in and out of the nose,
Taking a moment to express gratitude towards your breath,
Your body,
And the earth.
When you're ready,
Go ahead and open up your eyes.
I encourage you to use your list of observations to help give you clarity on whether or not something is being fueled from truth or fear and wounding.
I encourage you to add or remove qualities from your list as you see fit.
With love,
Faith.
