Befriending Feelings Of Inadequacy

Do you ever feel that you are not enough? Research has shown that most people struggle with perceived inadequacy. Psychotherapy is one effective way to work with perceived inadequacy. Another is the path of somatic mindfulness. Mindfulness begins with the present moment. In the present moment, stories of inadequacy are linked to feelings in your mind and body. Meeting those feelings is an “under the radar” way to address perceived inadequacy, not by reconditioning your thoughts but by befriending the emotional patterns that live deep within the nervous system.
In this practice, we learn to progress through five easy steps to befriending a feeling: pause, notice, breathe, surround and befriend. Through cultivating the practice, we develop self-compassion, and empathy for others who struggle with the same feelings.

Transcript

Welcome to the meditation practice,

Befriending Feelings,

Working with Feelings of Inadequacy.

If you struggle with feelings of not being enough,

This meditation is for you.

So let's begin.

We start by pausing.

Do you notice this familiar suffering?

The first step is just to slow down.

And if you're able to,

Sit down and perhaps close your eyes.

This is a way to settle so that you can focus on your inner state.

Take three deep,

Slow breaths.

Now that you have paused and breathed,

Turn your attention to the feeling of inadequacy.

This is the inner feeling state that accompanies your mental belief that somehow you are not enough.

To find the feeling of inadequacy,

Come down from your thoughts,

From the story,

Into the feeling body.

Where does this feeling of inadequacy live in the body?

Do you feel it in the belly?

The heart?

Chest?

Shoulders?

Back?

Neck?

The face?

Or the head?

Notice where it resides in the body.

Now notice the quality of the feeling.

Is it heavy or light?

Tight?

Constricted?

Does it seem to be floating or is it lodged somewhere?

Next,

Breathe into this feeling.

Breathe some space around it.

Allow a gentle,

Non-judgmental awareness to flow into and around the space that you created with the breath.

This gentle,

Kind attention moves into your body to surround the feeling.

Like water surrounds an island or like warm air moves through the branches of a tree in springtime.

Feel the awareness flow on the breath all around and through this feeling of inadequacy in the body,

Saturating it.

As the awareness saturates the feeling,

Allow yourself to experience the dignity and truth of this feeling.

How poignant and raw it is.

How exquisite in its sadness.

Your awareness saturates this like a warm nectar.

This awareness does not have an agenda.

It is not there to fix anything or to dismiss anything.

It does not judge or label.

It has no plans.

It does not even console.

This attention is more steady than the swirling thoughts of the story.

It just witnesses.

It accepts this feeling just as it is.

It accepts the entire constellation of the complexity that is you.

You might notice that even now the residue of the story of inadequacy comes and goes.

It is not easily dissolved and that too is okay.

Continue to befriend the feeling below the story.

You might say to this feeling,

I am not going to dismiss you or suppress you,

Old friend.

I am not going to avoid or constrain you.

I will not banish you.

I will not even try to fix you as if you need a remedy.

I am just here to be with you.

You are welcome here.

Notice how it feels to welcome this feeling of inadequacy.

What is it like to befriend that which has for so long been unwanted?

Let us conclude this meditation with gratitude.

Thank you,

Beautiful feeling,

For inviting this practice of self-compassion.

Thank you,

Beautiful feeling,

For being a doorway to the development of non-judgmental attention.

Let us practice together soon.

Reviews

Amazing deep meditation. A rare gem to find your calm, solid and poetic guidance. Thank you.

This medication seems like it was made for somebody who is deeply depressed. It is bland, spineless & mushy. I didn't particularly enjoy it but I suppose it's good for its intended purpose

This meditation was incredibly Effective in helping me to loosen the grip on that tight feeling inside & to create space in my heart. I will definitely be returning to this track. Thank you so much! I’m still blown away by how helpful this was.

This is excellent. Even though we’re working to befriend the feeling, not change it, the knots in my stomach eased quite a bit with this practice. Bookmarking this one for sure ❤️

Wonderful short practice; very helpful and soothing.

Wonderful practice, thank you! I’d like to suggest to include more moments of silence so as to allow us to digest every word and be able to feel each subtle sensation as it appears if it does.

🙏 Thank you.

Clear and calm, so helpful

Beautiful. I cried. This feeling has persistent since I was a kind. I've tried to shove it down, to run from it, to scream and cry it away, but the result has always been nil. This idea of befriending feelings is revolutionary to me it made something click so to speak. I will listen to this often.

An essential reminder of the importance of acknowledging, befriending and exploring of all feelings. Valuable.

What a wonderful way to be with the feeling of inadequacy. Very special. An inspiration.

Beautiful approach. I find, sometimes, this idea of welcoming undesirable feelings kind of hoaxy - but it was done here in a clever and genuine way.

I'm the kind of person always looking for a way for me to "fix" any perceived negative emotion or thought. This meditation taught me to sit with it and just allow it to be there: recognised and accepted without the urgency to change it.

It was so different to hear in a meditation that I am not here to change or fix to just be company. I think I liked that a lot bc it took pressure of and allowed me to just be. thank you so much!

Thank you, Willa! Just the acceptance and gratitude messages I needed to hear. I really enjoyed your soothing voice and the pace of the meditation.

Beautiful and poetic approach to feeling of inadequacy

A gentle voice. I appreciate and needed the invitation to non-judgmental attention. Thank you

A beautiful practice, thank you! I think this would be especially helpful for people for whom self compassion is difficult in some way, because it is so subtle and helps give space to all feelings.

I stopped resisting, and allowed it to reside in my body. And I was able to stay present while body was feeling restless and tight. Thank you Willa for opening the doorway to presence without judgement.

I really appreciated the pace of this meditation and the voice. Just right for me🙏