Befriending Anxiety

Befriending anxiety is a practice of learning to meet our own fear and anxiety with curiosity and grace. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, the more we seek to avoid fear, the stronger it becomes. We can develop an alternative strategy of self-compassion, befriending the very state we once sought to avoid. As we do, anxiety finds the space to free itself.

In this meditation, we follow five easy steps: pause, notice, breathe, surround and befriend. These can be used as a formal meditation (as demonstrated here) or memorized and practiced more rapidly on the spot when anxiety arises. As with any emotional pattern, it is important not to rely on meditation as a sole panacea. If anxiety is acute, it is important to seek professional help.

Reviews

As a Zen student, I tend to shy away from guided meditations (other than those on Insight Timer that I use to help me fall back asleep in the middle of the night). But I’d been finding my morning meditation hijacked (or, rather, self-hijacked) as I ruminated on personal and collective anxieties, either wallowing in the thoughts and feelings or, worse, straining to push them away. Neither, of course, allows for presence or intimacy with the moment, much less insight.

I’ve started working with this way of getting close to and friendly with my anxiety before beginning my regular practice in the morning, and it has helped me find a spaciousness—even freedom—with, rather than apart from, anxiety, and that has been a real gift.

So nice. Great to see my anxiety and Witness That, even if it doesn’t go, being with it makes it more easy to tolerate. Thank you !

Very, very helpful. I will definitely practice the breathing when I’m feeling very small or stupid or shaky. My goal will be to allow the feeling in a compassionate way, just like accepting a new friend.

This is transformative and beautiful. Thank you so much 💕🙏🏼

Thank you for reminding me that my anxiety is often a teacher and a motivator when I pay attention