No Illusion, Just Truth

In this episode, we unravel the untold power of truthfulness. What lies beyond the illusions we create in love and life? Discover how to break free from perfectionism, illusion, and the facades of social media to embrace life’s raw fullness. Journey to uncover what's real, raw and truthful, an awareness and life that transforms.

Transcript

Hello,

Beautiful souls.

We are back for another episode together.

Some more time together.

Some more time to be in the magic of this season of life and to hear some truthfulness,

Some heart wisdom.

One of our beautiful listeners shared with me just recently,

They said,

I sense many have shared with you how your words and videos inspire wonder,

Curiosity,

And a deep experience of healing.

You have a gift.

These words,

I'm sharing them because it's something that touched my heart.

And it actually,

It's part of the motivation for why I share these deep,

Deep truths with all of you.

And this depth,

A lot of these episodes have sort of generated more depth over time.

And I think it's,

It's because I truly believe that's what the world needs.

And tonight,

Today,

Wherever you are in the world is going to be,

It's going to be fun.

It's going to be interesting.

We're going to go a little deep.

So let's dive in.

Think about the relationship you have with yourself.

Is it perfect?

Now extend that to the people in your life or what you want for your relationships,

What you want for your family.

And consider why do we create unrealistic and sometimes poisonous ideals within our relationships,

Within ourselves,

Within our families.

And I really do believe that social media can make this worse,

Where we're sort of painting this picture with this brush of a fairytale romance or fairytale friendships,

Or just of ourself and our own self image.

I am this person,

But maybe not living those ideals deep down inside.

It really just creates things to deal with later.

And this I know wholeheartedly,

Because I think,

You know,

Being in the age of social media,

There's a lot that we've had to learn together,

Right?

This is,

It's not new,

But we're exploring it together.

There isn't,

There isn't years of research on it yet.

There's some research to show that,

You know,

These ideals cause mental health issues in teenagers,

As an example.

But the real impact has yet to be studied,

Because we just don't have those years of data yet.

But there's enough data and information to know.

And I feel like more and more and more,

Even being a creator on social media,

I still value the platform.

I have been leaning into this path of truthfulness,

Though.

This chosen path of truthfulness.

Living in full truthfulness.

Not gonna lie,

You feel kind of naked,

You feel raw.

And it doesn't mean that I share all my personal moments,

But it also means that I'm not creating an image of illusion.

Because nothing cuts illusion like the truth.

And truth offers us this freedom,

This beauty,

This ability to love the life we were given just as it is.

Without all the fluff,

We often create the fluff.

We create the fluff because we feel like we need the cushion.

We need the illusion.

We need the delusion.

Whether it be about our life circumstances,

Because we can't face them.

But typically,

It's out of insecurity.

And then you come to find that when you've created that security within,

You have this grounded place,

This rooted place,

This place where you feel anchored,

Where you can be in your full authenticity.

And you can live from this place.

You can live from a life of truthfulness,

A life of openness,

A life of connection,

A life of being connected to your emotions and your spiritual health,

Which is a little bit lopsided in our world today,

Which I think is what's causing a lot of the disease,

Disease,

Unwellness,

Unrest.

There is this deeper understanding of the nature of life when you're feeling really grounded from within yourself.

And so you begin to move in that way.

You begin to move differently within life because you feel safe,

You feel grounded,

You feel anchored.

You can be honest with yourself and with the people around you.

And it doesn't always have to be good vibes only.

It gets to be all the vibes.

It gets to be all the vibes because all the vibes have this beauty to them.

And it's truly the only way we move forward.

If we have painted a picture and we're not aligning with it in our reality,

We can spend our whole life living in that picture rather than living in life,

Rather than aligning with life.

And we start to feel disconnected,

Right?

Because we're living within an illusion.

We're not really living connected to life.

We don't see the synchronicities,

The beauty around us,

Life speaking to us,

Life speaking through us.

And it truly is only through the truth of the moment that we can even gauge,

You know,

Gauge how we're feeling,

Gauge where life is taking us,

Gauge where we're steering our ship,

Where we're dropping our anchor.

And if we're in relationship,

You know,

We want to feel love.

And how can we gauge whether we're feeling that love,

Whether we're feeling that connection,

If we're not in the truth of the moment.

When we're in the truth of the moment,

We can actually gauge and say,

This is where I'm feeling the love.

And this is where I'm not feeling it.

This is what I desire for my life.

And this is what I don't.

This is what I'm attracted to.

And this is what I'm not attracted to.

This is what I'm perceiving.

This is what I don't understand.

We are fully in our bodies.

We are fully in the moment,

Which allows for this deep presence and depth of living.

Anything else,

We're simply living in our heads,

We're living in a projection,

We're living in a movie.

But life offers us so much beauty to be felt.

And so some might say the true epidemic or the pandemic that we're going through is actually emotional dysregulation,

Not being able to regulate the energy or the emotions of the moment.

The true pandemic is the suppression of emotion,

The suppression of what is the truth of this moment.

And that's actually what's making us sick.

The times where I became most sick was when I either realized I was suppressing something really big in my life,

Or I was in complete delusion.

I was creating an illusion.

And it was completely taking me out of my life.

It was completely removing me from the connections that I actually crave.

And so that's what it does.

And so that's why being with what is,

Is so,

So important for our health and also to be in our life,

To feel fulfilled,

To be in the connection.

Even our healing journey,

And I've talked about this before,

Definitely check out the healing podcast.

So far,

It's charting to be probably the top podcast of the year.

How ironic.

There's lots of synchronicity there.

So check it out.

But the healing journey even feels conditioned these days,

Where healing has become this mental journey.

Everyone can admit to some extent that they are healing from something.

This is like the healing era,

Where people have become aware of what happened in past generations,

More truth is coming to the surface.

But then how we actually view that journey,

How we're on that journey has become conditioned too.

Like most things are,

We start to create illusions around that too.

Okay,

I'm 100% healed now.

I can love you.

No,

That is not the reality of the journey.

In fact,

It's quite naive.

Because healing is a journey.

Healing is a journey.

Life is a journey.

You're not always going to be healing.

And you're not going to be healed from one retreat.

Each step is a destination to be fully felt.

Healing is just a word.

Healing is just a word that we say when we're in deep reflection of what has come to pass and we're moving through acceptance.

But really,

This is all part of life.

And we don't have to live naive.

We can live in the fullness of life.

And to live in this truthfulness with ourselves and with each other to be able to cultivate the relationship we want to have with ourself,

But also the relationship we want to have with each other.

Even when it hurts,

Even when we feel ashamed of our behavior or ashamed of the behavior of the people that we call friends,

The people we're in relationship with.

But this is the path.

This is the path to healing.

This is the path to continuing the journey.

This is the path.

And the path offers so much as opposed to this illusion of good vibes only or the spiritual bypassing.

Be in the fullness of the human experience.

We get to have that.

And this is where the beauty is born.

Take love,

For example.

Oh,

Love.

She's talking about love again.

One of my favorite topics.

And it truly does take a strong person and strong people within relationship,

A strong couple in relationship to go against conventional perfectionism of what love is,

What romance is supposed to look like,

How you're supposed to portray yourself,

This unrealistic fairy tale story.

And instead,

The strength in leaning into it all,

To go through the hard times together,

To face individual patterns that you have,

To look at those individually,

And then to come together and witness the patterns that you have as a couple,

The patterns that you see in one another,

To lean into a truly holistic conscious relationship,

One that is both unconditional,

Sacrificing,

And very exploratory in nature.

Sometimes I think when we say conscious relationship,

We have this like good vibe,

Spiritual vibe attached to it on this other level of consciousness.

And I think that's on this other level of consciousness,

The superiority.

But consciousness to me is like layers of an onion.

There is no hierarchy per se.

It just is.

Being conscious is being with what enters your conscious awareness.

Conscious relationship is doing this together,

Being aware together,

And acting in alignment with truthfulness,

No matter what's happened.

It's saying,

I did this.

I have this pattern.

And not letting that become your identity,

But allowing yourself to witness that within yourself,

And allowing your partner to witness that.

And moving through it,

Whatever comes,

What energy comes in relation to that,

The shame,

The guilt,

The fear,

The sadness,

The hurt.

And it's taking all of that and still continuing to act in the direction of love.

I once said that love flows freely and conscious relationship is earned.

And so to me,

Conscious relationship is the person that you agree to do that soul work with,

To see the depths with,

To see the light,

To see the dark,

And not pretend as if it's not there,

Not pretend as if you have the perfect relationship.

The relationship is the hard part,

So to speak,

Because love endures.

True love will always endure.

That's what I believe.

The relationship is when you witness all of these things,

Whether it be in a partner,

Or even in a friendship,

I would say.

To not run and to not chase,

But to be at the center of it all.

To witness becoming evolved beyond your survival mechanisms.

If that's in a romantic relationship,

It's evolving beyond your survival mechanisms of attraction,

Because attraction will change over time.

You evolve beyond it into other phases of the relationship.

And then you have to explore how you're going to be in that dynamic together without that push and pull.

Recognizing that that push and pull doesn't necessarily mean that you do or don't love,

Because it's survival.

It's animal parts of ourselves.

It doesn't mean it's wrong.

It's wrong when the dynamic becomes unhealthy,

But exploring,

Discovering,

What does our love look like when we're not in this push and pull?

What does our love look like after I've hurt you or you've hurt me,

And we've expressed that fully and completely?

We are aware.

Now what conscious actions will we take?

And we know that everything is in constant motion,

Even relationship dynamics.

Sometimes we're not gonna,

It's not huge groundbreaking stuff.

Sometimes it's just small steps.

Other times it's a volcano or two that's erupting.

And sometimes we're asked to dive into deeper healing within,

Focus on that deeper healing within,

And providing that space so each other can do that.

And then coming together for that deeper depth and recognizing that it's all part of life.

Who are you being perfect for?

Who are you performing for?

Or are you sharing life as part of life?

What does it mean to learn true forgiveness,

To truly be in reconciliation within yourself and within relationship?

What is the truth of enduring love?

What is the truth of being fully in it versus not?

To be able to overcome fear dynamics,

Which are basically our survival dynamics,

To be able to recognize the fear and also at the same time,

Recognize this higher vibrational love while holding what is and what was,

While holding the fear,

And letting the transition take place from one experience to the next without discounting types of experiences.

This feeling of we can connect to one another at the different levels of our lives.

We can create layers of conscious awareness,

And at the same time we can develop secure attachments,

Secure connection.

And it can also be a discovery,

Discovering me,

Discovering you,

Exploring this space together,

Exploring what the relationship holds.

Because I think when it kind of puts like a huge,

You know,

It closes the door to exploring.

Because we're saying this is what it is,

This is what we are,

Versus when you're in more of the mindset of a scientist.

I've sort of been trained as an epidemiologist to be more in this mindset.

It's discovering what it is.

It's discovering what the relationship holds.

It's discovering yourself,

And then you can extend that to discover others as well.

Relationships,

Friendships,

People you meet,

What does this experience hold?

And when we become aware,

How will we act based on our awareness?

Because pretending things never happen just actually prolongs what's there till a later date.

And this is something that is rampant in today's culture.

Canceling,

Omitting parts of the story to ourselves,

To the world,

And even within our relationships.

It all gets to be beautiful.

Just allow it.

I think too,

People are also starting to kind of get bored of and sick of this highlight reel.

Because I think these days we're starting to realize it's false.

You can feel it when you see it now.

Someone portraying this perfect couple.

You start to not really feel anything.

And then when you see a person or a couple who has been in the depths together,

You feel it deep within your soul.

You feel it in your bones.

It touches your heart.

You can just sense it.

No words need to be spoken.

You can just sense it when you witness it.

There's an energy that comes with it.

And this is what the world needs to feel again.

And the only way to really share that with one another is to live it.

Is to allow yourself grace when you make mistakes.

Because it is the mistakes that connects our humanity.

It's not the perfection.

Because perfect is an illusion.

And illusion is like smoke and mirrors.

It can't,

It can't connect.

It can't,

It can't connect.

It only mirrors what's being created.

And smoke,

It doesn't last.

So projecting an image is,

Is like fantasy.

Not reality.

And in some cases,

Manipulation.

Both for yourself,

You're kind of cheating yourself.

And you're kind of cheating others.

It's a performance.

And all performances end,

Just like any good play,

Ballet,

Concert.

But what's real,

What's raw,

What's truthful?

Truthful relationships with yourself,

Truthful relationships with others,

They're far from perfect.

But they are true.

They are truthful.

They have this external quality,

This vibe that's everlasting.

Because there's nothing that needs to come after.

The truth exists just as it is.

It's like when people are enjoying this delicious meal,

We don't speak sometimes.

Because we all just know,

Like,

This is good.

This tastes good.

Truth.

No words need to be spoken.

Portraying anything else other than truth is damaging to ourselves and also whoever we're sharing it with.

Especially when it,

When all that it feeds is this surface level need for attention or validation.

And when you're living with this sense of truthfulness,

When you're connected to everything,

You don't need the validation anymore.

Because it's the act of living that gives you that feeling in your body,

Which is what we crave.

A lot of what we crave is,

Is the feeling that we feel when we're connected and we're fulfilled and we're content.

Because validation,

It will never be enough.

There will never be enough validation to feed the supply that needs to replace truth.

What's real and living in this space.

And in the age of social media,

We,

We can fall prey to this as it relates to our own self image and the image of our relationship.

Failing to live within ourselves,

Within the relationship,

Within the people that we love,

Failing to be in it fully.

The love might be there,

But the relationship requires deep presence to build on this,

The soul level,

The physical,

The emotional,

The mental,

To build the relationship.

It's like building blocks.

The love is there,

It flows,

But the relationship,

It has the blocks that need to be built.

And the real deal,

Let's face it,

Needs no shout for an encore.

The person living in truth,

Living within themselves,

Has their arms wrapped around their body after seeing themselves for the first time,

After hearing their needs almost for the first time,

Hearing their voice,

Seeing the beauty of their journey and transformation from one stage of life to the next,

This feeling of being reborn and yet no longer living naive.

The truth,

A couple living in truthfulness,

These are the times where they're,

They're sitting with their arms crossed and their defenses up as they reveal their awareness to one another.

And then slowly they begin to lower their arms,

They begin to lower their defenses to allow for the flow of love,

To guide them into a surrender and not a love for only the good vibes,

The fancy trips,

The fancy home,

Or the things that they do,

The tasks and errands they run from one another,

A love for the deepest and darkest journey through the night with one another,

A love for the mistakes being revealed,

A love for the strength in each person to be able to admit their mistakes,

To face their wrongdoings.

Two imperfect humans with nothing to hide,

Witnessing their patterns and being humbled to begin again with one another.

Where unspoken words begin to be shared and different forms of intimacy are reached,

Not through perfection,

But through trial and tribulation,

Mistakes,

Missteps,

To feel it all and then to offer their hand and hearts to one another.

After having put it all out on the table,

No image,

Just depth,

Just truthfulness,

Just being there,

Picking up the pieces with new understanding,

A rawness,

Where illusion is broken for the truth and love can actually flow in the container of a truthful relationship.

A love that can only be found in the moments where there are no cameras present,

With no one to perform for,

Just to be real,

Just to be raw,

Just to be truthful,

And to allow one another to discover each other in those moments.

Sometimes I think the camera actually takes away from it.

When I'm moving through something,

With a friend,

In a relationship,

I tend to post the least about it because I want to explore it,

I want to discover it for what it is,

Not for a projection,

Not for an image,

Because when we focus on the image,

The image is the focus,

The projection is the focus,

Not the core of the relationship,

Not the depth or the connection or the intimacy.

And when we only look at the ideals,

We aren't in the fullness of life,

We're not in the fullness of the relationship,

We're not in the fullness of the relationship.

And when we only look at the ideals,

We aren't in the fullness of life or the relationship.

And it's actually the wholeness that deepens us and deepens the relationship.

It's when the odds are stacked against you,

When the odds are stacked against the relationship,

And the inertia is taking you in the opposite direction due to unhealthy patterns,

Circumstances,

Etc.

And you act to shift it,

That's where the depth of the connection actually happens.

It's not in the moment when you got swept off your feet sometimes,

That's not where I've found the greatest depth at least.

I've been swept off my feet,

I've had beautiful moments and I cherish those.

But the depth is built through a conscious relationship,

Through a witnessing of it all together,

Moving through it together.

And people could benefit from the truthfulness of it all instead of the illusion that we see online,

For example.

Think of nature.

Nature cannot be anything else than what she is.

What she presents to us,

What she shares with us,

She doesn't have to try.

She doesn't have to be anything else than what she is.

She just is.

That's actually I think why we have this,

When we think of nature,

We think of beauty,

We think of depth,

We think of connection.

And that's how she brings us back to ourselves,

How she brings us back to truthfulness because there's no illusion.

That's why we say going offline and going for a walk in the woods,

Think of the profound effect that it has on us because there's no illusion.

And I'm grateful to be able to say that this is the beauty that I have accepted more and more into my life,

No matter how much it hurts at times because sometimes the truth hurts.

But when you're held in it through a deep foundation that you have with yourself and when you're held in it through a deep foundation that you have with creator,

Creator,

Creator,

Creator,

Creation,

Your relationships,

It just feels that much more beautiful.

And so I'm grateful to have been able to accept this way of being in my life,

My relationships,

My marriage,

My family.

And my prayer for you is that you break illusion for the truth so that you can feel the wholeness,

The depth,

The fullness of it all rather than,

You know,

Cherry picking bits and pieces.

You get to be in it,

You get to be in it all.

Contentment and fulfillment are born of truth,

Loving truth,

And living life just as it's presented.

We may not whole,

We may not know what our relationships or life holds in,

You know,

A year from now,

An hour from now,

Sometimes even shorter than that,

A moment.

But we have this moment and how beautiful to be able to discover each one like a step.

Have beautiful dreams and visions of what you want for your life.

Create that with the people you love in your life and be in the moment of what is here and now.

And you will feel it.

I promise.

No matter what your story is,

Let it be all of it.

It's all beautiful.

Even and especially the times that you fell because it was in that moment,

In that moment,

You and the world in which you live life in,

Witnessed your strength in getting back up.

And so today I am sending you so much love,

So much fulfillment and wholeness to live truthfulness and beauty into your life.