Starting Loving-Kindness 3

Part 3 of the introduction to loving-kindness. This guidance focuses on a foundational feeling of support and comfort in the body, and the ease that can come with attending to the moment. We work towards unconditional loving-kindness, and detangling any unhelpful associations with compassion.

Transcript

Let's take some time to find strength and spaciousness and loving kindness.

Before we begin,

Find a posture that feels good for you.

This could be laying down or it could be sitting.

Take into account how you're feeling today.

If you're feeling particularly sleepy,

Maybe finding a posture that is more upright and wakeful.

If you already notice quite a bit of tension in the body,

Perhaps a reclined position might invite an easier sense of relaxation.

And as you're settling in,

If at any point you notice the posture that you've chosen isn't supportive,

Feel free to observe what's uncomfortable and adjust before we find stillness.

And in the body now,

Find a place that feels comfortable and held and allow yourself to be with the direct experience of that sensation.

If you notice the mind wandering to uncomfortable sensations in the body or perhaps whatever you might have been doing before this practice or even to random thoughts,

See if you can draw the awareness again and again back to the place that feels supported and held with an attitude of patience and kindness.

And from the space of knowing support and groundedness in the body,

Get familiar with how this feeling shows up.

If you start to intellectualize this feeling,

See if you can return to a place of embodied and physical understanding,

Not conceptually what support means,

Not having to translate what is felt into words,

Staying in the body,

Staying in the experience.

Anytime that the mind wanders,

Using the same amount of kindness as you use firmness or discipline,

Draw the attention back to that place that feels grounded.

Back to the practice of knowing how support shows up in the body.

This could be the breath.

This could be the chair or the mat that's supporting the body.

Anytime the mind wanders,

Inviting the attention back.

And as we begin some phrases inviting this continuation or well-wishing for loving kindness,

Seeing if you can always stay in touch with the first place that the observing mind meets the body before the layers of labels or judgment.

Working with yourself,

Knowing support in your own body.

Find some phrases that work for you.

It could be one phrase,

Maybe up to four.

May I be free from harm?

May I be free from anxiety?

May I live happily?

May I dwell in peace?

Find words that work best for you and best reflect the sense of grounding you feel in the body.

Sometimes when we turn loving kindness towards ourselves,

It may feel selfish.

And if you notice that arising,

See if you can tune into a kind of compassion that makes that sense of selfishness irrelevant.

You do not need to absolve yourself of consequences to wish well for yourself.

And you do not have to deserve this basic sense of comfort and ease.

This sensation that arises simply by paying attention to and attending to your presence.

Sometimes this practice feels very easy and smooth.

These phrases come out from this place of support and comfort.

And sometimes there's some resistance with wishing yourself well.

And whichever it happens to be today,

Stay close to the body.

Find phrases that make this practice a little easier.

Repeating these phrases,

Your phrases,

Silently to yourself.

May I be free from harm,

Free from anxiety?

May I live happily?

May I dwell in peace?

Taking a moment to finish up one more repetition of these phrases.

And then bring to mind someone dear to you.

Not necessarily someone that you have a lot of attachment or a lot of emotions for,

But someone who is easy to send well wishes to.

Almost as if the phrases flow out with almost no resistance.

This could be a family member,

A friend,

A pet.

And if you feel it's quite difficult to find a perfect candidate for this,

Take a moment to bring to mind someone who may not be perfect,

But someone who is easier to wish well to.

And holding them in your mind's eye,

Finding the phrases that work best for you.

May they be free from harm.

May they be free from anxiety.

May they live happily.

May they dwell in peace.

See if it's possible to stay in the mindset of unconditional loving kindness.

Sometimes this might feel difficult.

And similarly to wishing well for yourself,

See if you can find a space of compassion where conditions become irrelevant.

To that level of peace and ease where worthiness and deserving do not matter.

Take a few moments to hold this person in your awareness and repeat the phrases silently to yourself.

Whichever phrases work for you.

May they be free from harm,

Free from anxiety.

May they live happily.

May they dwell in peace.

Take a moment to perhaps repeat these phrases one more time.

Breathing back into the body and then bring to mind someone neutral.

Someone who you do not have strong feelings positively or negatively for.

Getting close to the basic sense of comfort,

Support.

See if you can extend these well wishes to this individual.

With whichever phrases worked for you.

And staying in that space of unconditional loving kindness.

A place where it feels comfortable to wish them well without the gatekeepers of worthiness or deserving.

May they be free from harm.

May they be free from anxiety or stress.

May they live happily.

May they dwell in peace.

May they be free from anxiety or stress.

Taking a moment to repeat these phrases one more time.

And tuning the attention back to the body.

And then bring to mind someone who you may have had difficulty with.

For ease of practice,

You do not need to choose the most challenging person in your life.

But maybe someone who you feel a little bit of ambivalence for.

Take a moment here to really tune into that place of grounding and support in the body.

You might notice a slight physical reaction to bringing this individual to mind.

And remember you do not need to choose the most challenging person you know.

Tune into that foundational level of comfort.

And see if it's possible to extend these well wishes to this person.

May they be free from harm.

May they be free from anxiety.

May they live happily.

May they dwell in peace.

Any time it feels inauthentic to wish well,

Take a step back from maybe going through the motions of repeating these phrases and ground back into that place of support in the body.

Recognize the foundational level of living in peace.

Feeling stable.

Step back to the place where conditions do not matter in this well wishing.

And from a space where you can feel genuine,

It might be difficult.

It might take some time.

From this space of being authentic and wholehearted.

Perhaps extending these well wishes to this individual you may have had difficulty with.

May they be free from harm.

May they be free from anxiety or stress.

May they live happily.

May they dwell in peace.

Perhaps,

Repeating these phrases once more or finishing the round that you've already started.

Releasing this individual from your mind and ground the attention back into the body.

And allowing this moment of bringing people into the mind's eye to be over.

Letting go and return the attention just to the body and the place that feels held and comfortable.

And even if we're not thinking about anyone in particular,

Really noticing the foundational and universal nature of the sense of ease.

And it's not always a monolithic sensation where the whole body feels completely comfortable.

Perhaps from the scattered thoughts of the mind,

We go deeper.

Physical sensations that come and go.

We go deeper to the observing mind that can stay grounded in this place of support.

The stillness under the fluctuations of pleasant and unpleasant.

Anytime that the mind wanders,

We can draw the attention back to this basic kindness that we can feel directly through the body through attending.

In a moment,

You're going to hear one bell chime,

Follow the sound with the awareness until you can't hear it any longer and this will conclude the practice.

If it feels helpful,

Perhaps inviting a slightly more wakeful breath into the body.

Maybe bring some small movements into the fingers and the toes,

The wrists or the ankles.

And then when you feel ready,

If the eyes are closed,

You can slowly blink the eyes open.

Thank you for taking this time to check in with yourself.

I hope you have a great rest of your day or a good night.

Reviews

Thank you, Wendy. I like the progression of the 3 meditations. Very skillfully structured.

I've done 1,2&3 with you now and loved them all❣

Awesome thanks- I did all 3 of your meditations on loving kindness. They were v helpful. The last one (#3) was a bit to chatty. Would have preferred more quiet space. Perhaps this is geared to more of a beginner ? Or perhaps today I was craving more silence. 🙏🏽 Namaste

I love your meditations, Wendy. Your grounded and practical voice, no accompaniment, is such a breath of fresh air. I’m sure that doing this is so much work but I do hope you feel encouraged to make more and keep at it. Your message is universal and your delivery is on point. 💛💛💛