Often when we are filled with sorrow,
We want to rage against it.
We want to pull it from us with harsh hands,
Push it away from us as far as it can go,
And yet we still find it connected to us,
Sometimes with thin threads like silk,
Sometimes with thick cords that seem unbreakable.
We can try to run away from this sorrow on swift feet,
Running a marathon away from ourselves,
And yet sorrow still follows.
We can pack up all of our belongings,
All the parts and pieces of ourselves into bottomless bags,
Intent on moving ourselves somewhere new where we will not be recognized,
And yet sorrow still comes knocking on our door.
We can yell and cry and smash,
And yet it can be sorrow that cradles us.
Breathe,
My love,
Breathe deep and calming breaths in through your nose,
Letting the fresh air move through you,
Bringing space and light to the places that have sat in shadow.
Let each exhale be a letting go,
It can be forceful if that is how you need to feel it,
Or as gentle as the opening of a closed hand.
Let the breath soothe you,
Both wrapping you up and letting you empty.
As you sit here,
Let the sorrow breathe too.
It can feel like a living being curled within your chest,
Reaching down into your stomach with its tight grip.
Let it be.
This sorrow didn't come out of nothing,
Arriving just to cause pain.
It grew and it changed,
Perhaps as you loved and lost,
As you grieved,
As you were let down,
As you felt unheard or unseen.
The sorrow has grown because life happens,
Things have happened,
Real things that are valid and true.
And sometimes the sorrow has kept you protected and separate and remembering.
And so instead of running just this time,
We sit.
We breathe.
We let the sorrow be.
We remember the love,
The lives,
The people,
And the places that we cared for,
That filled our hearts to the brim,
That in their loss,
We felt sorrow creep in.
And sometimes the sorrow that we feel is for ourselves,
For the pieces of ourselves that have been lost or hidden,
The ways in which we have changed so that we are harder to recognize when we look at ourselves in the reflection of others.
If you can,
In this moment,
As we sit here together,
See if you can find the size,
The shape,
The temperature,
The taste your sorrow leaves in your mouth.
We can both sit with it here,
Feel the weight of it as it moves through us,
As it weaves itself amongst some of our most fond memories.
If we can,
Perhaps we might gaze upon it as the reminder of all the love,
All the beauty,
All of the growth and change instead of the pain,
Or maybe as well as.
If we allow our hearts,
Our minds,
Our spirits to still and sit here with the sorrow,
We might find ourselves ready to send it compassion.
Although the sorrow may be a companion that moves with us through this life,
It doesn't have to be a constant,
It doesn't have to be something that we fear or run away from.
It can be a message to remember all the things we have loved enough to bring sorrow with their loss.
Breathe deep into these feelings,
Breathing deeply into yourself,
Into your memories,
Into the pain and the love and the stirrings of your soul,
Matching your in and out breaths,
Giving them length and width,
Letting them create space in your chest and loosening the hold that sorrow has found in your belly.
Breathe friend,
Breathe.
Breathe deep into remembering all of the good,
All of the beauty.
Greet sorrow with compassion,
Be gentle as you wrap sorrow in your loving arms.
Breathe deep and let it be,
Dear friend.
Take a nice deep breath in here and let it be.
You can come back to this meditation when you need to sit with sorrow,
But don't spend too long here.
Remember that everything has to move,
Has to flow.
Thank you so much for sitting with me today.
Have a beautiful day.
