Welcome to this meditation where you'll work with a situation in which you feel stuck and some difficult emotions.
I'll guide you in a practice known by the acronym RAIN,
A combination of mindfulness and self-compassion.
Start by getting into a position that's comfortable for you.
Sitting,
Standing,
Lying down or walking.
You can close your eyes or leave them open.
You can change positions during the practice as well as make adjustments and other movements.
If you choose to close your eyes,
You can at any time open them again.
You may want to take some deep breaths and relax any obvious areas of tension as you exhale,
Sighing out loud if you wish.
Now,
I invite you to focus your attention on your chosen anchor which can be the natural breath,
Other bodily sensations,
The weight of your body on the ground,
Sounds or something else.
Spend some time focusing on your chosen anchor,
Returning to it whenever you get lost in thoughts.
Please remember that you can return to your anchor as well as open your eyes and make other adjustments at any time you want.
Especially if you're starting to feel overwhelmed,
Please trust your own wisdom to make these changes and then continue following the guided practice if you can and want to.
Now,
I invite you to bring to mind a difficult situation.
It may be something obvious and dramatic,
Although I recommend you don't pick something you know can be related to trauma.
It can also be more subtle,
Something that doesn't feel like a big deal but you still wish were different.
It may be a misunderstanding or conflict with a family member,
Friend or colleague,
An illness or pain,
An addiction,
Something you did or said that you now regret.
Use your imagination and senses to re-enter the situation,
Visualizing yourself,
Others that may have been involved and the surroundings,
Remembering words that may have been spoken,
As well as other sense impressions.
You can imagine this as a movie and freeze the image where it's at its most intense.
What is happening inside you here and now as you imagine this?
What sensations?
What emotions?
What kind of thinking?
This is the R of RAIN,
Recognizing what is happening.
You can take a moment to note with a soft mental whisper whatever experience is most predominant.
I invite you to allow what you're experiencing to be here.
It can be helpful to mentally whisper words like,
This belongs,
Or this too.
This is the A of RAIN,
Allowing life to be as it is,
Not judging,
Pushing away or controlling.
What you're experiencing may include resistance.
See if you can allow this sense of resistance to saying yes to everything you're aware of.
This belongs.
This too.
Now,
I invite you to explore what you're experiencing more closely.
This is the I of RAIN,
Investigating with a gentle,
Curious attention.
Notice where in the body you feel the experience most distinctly.
Are you aware of tightness,
Pressure,
Hollowness?
It may help to become aware of your face and body posture.
Perhaps the physical experience is being expressed here.
Perhaps you can even exaggerate it a bit through your face and posture.
What emotions are you aware of as you do this?
Fear?
Anger?
Sadness?
Shame?
Some questions that may be helpful to ask as part of investigating are,
What most wants my attention?
What am I unwilling to feel?
And what am I believing in this moment?
If this leads to a lot of thinking,
Drop it.
But you might find that an answer emerges almost as soon as you ask.
The questions were,
What most wants my attention?
What am I unwilling to feel?
What am I believing in this moment?
As before,
Send the message of this belongs or this too,
Allowing yourself to feel the fullness of the difficult experience.
If it helps steady your attention,
You might breathe with your experience.
And you might bring your hand to your heart or wherever you feel the vulnerability.
Please also remember that you can make other adjustments if you're feeling overwhelmed,
Such as opening your eyes or returning to your anchor for a while.
Now,
I invite you to ask this vulnerable place and part of you,
What do you most need?
Or how do you want me to be with you?
Does the suffering part of you want acceptance?
Understanding?
Forgiveness?
Love?
We are coming to the end of rain,
Nurturing.
As you sense what this most vulnerable part of you needs,
Let yourself respond from the wisest and most loving part of yourself.
You may offer yourself a message such as it's OK,
Or I'm here.
You may want to use the tender touch of your own hand.
You may use visualization such as imagining holding your inner child.
You can also bring to mind another source of loving.
A friend,
Spiritual figure,
A pet,
Some part of the natural world.
Whatever the source of loving,
Let your intention be to let it in.
Allow loving energy to bathe you.
To suffuse the vulnerability and your entire being.
Perhaps you can sense how you are the one who holds as well as the held.
I invite you to now let go of the practice,
Let go of any doing and simply rest in awareness.
What Tara Brack calls after the rain.
Perhaps you can notice a difference in your sense of self from when you first started the practice.
Perhaps there is more spaciousness,
More tenderness.
If difficult thinking,
Emotions or sensations arise,
You can hold them in your kind attention.
Let go and then again rest in the spacious and tender awareness.
Enjoy.
Soon I will end the meditation with one sound of the bell.
Thank you for having taken this time to practice.
Thank you.
