The Inner Creative Process With Vasavi Kumar

On this episode of Say It Out Loud this is what you're going to learn:

-the truth about creativity and the writing process
-how saying it out loud can unlock many different thought patterns and enhance your self-awareness
-the scenes of how I wrote my book

Transcript

Welcome back to another episode of the Say It Out Loud podcast.

I'm super excited today.

I decided to,

You know,

Make my life simpler and easier and have more fun with recording my podcast.

I was really feeling heavy around recording.

And so I asked someone that I know here,

Angelica,

Who has become a friend of mine.

She was actually in a community membership program that I had two years ago during COVID called Real Rich.

But since then,

You know,

We've kept in touch.

And I called her up like three days ago.

And I go,

Listen,

I need to create some content for my podcast,

For my social media,

And I just need someone that I can bounce it off of,

You know.

And so what I really want you to hear in this is just really understanding your own creative ebb and flow.

Like I can just talk all day,

As you guys have probably heard throughout the episodes,

I could just talk all day.

But the thing is,

It's exhausting.

So I'm like,

Okay,

I need someone that I can just soundboard off of because then it's just like energy moving back and forth.

So I'm so excited to welcome Angelica,

Who's going to be our host today.

And actually,

She is going to be interviewing me.

So Angelica,

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much,

Basavi.

I really appreciate that the projector in me feels so seen right now.

Human design.

Human design.

Yeah.

And I can't wait to play off your generator energy and let this,

Let this creative process flow.

Thank you so much.

Well,

I'm ready.

Like I've always said this,

You can ask anything that you want,

Because I,

My commitment is to always grow out loud.

I'm,

I check in with myself and I see like,

Am I ready to share this out loud?

Do I need to,

Do I want to?

And I always come back to the answer of you can do whatever you want.

If you want to share this out loud,

You can,

If you don't,

You don't,

There's no judgment about any of it.

So yeah,

Feel free to take it away.

I love that Bas.

So one thing that it's,

It's no,

It's no question that you are extremely articulate and talented at really understanding what is going on within the inner workings of your mind and articulating that out loud.

That is so difficult.

I think for a lot of people to have these certain levels of awareness within them,

And then they get stuck.

What do I do with this level of awareness?

So bringing that out loud into the ethers is such a powerful way to process what's going on internally and cannot wait to read this book.

I'm dying to know everything,

What,

What that whole entire process entails.

So what I'm curious to understand a bit more,

What was the behind the scenes,

Um,

Creative process like for you in,

In coming up with not only this concept and writing this book,

But also the process of writing the book.

How did you express that?

So you guys have to understand when I first sat down to write my book,

It was really intense.

I,

I was going through a breakup at the time.

So I'm not kidding.

Every other paragraph was like,

And this is why women need to be single.

And this is why,

You know,

We should just never get into a relationship.

And,

You know,

That's where I was at mentally when I first sat down to write.

And then I sent that to my editor and she was like,

No,

This is just stream of consciousness stuff.

She's like,

I need you to sit.

We need to really look at each chapter.

What are you guiding the reader towards?

What do you want them to ultimately accomplish?

And it is to use the power and the sound of your voice to guide you towards your dreams courageously.

And so in the creative writing process,

I have to go back to the first time that I actually started using my own practices,

Which was,

I had gotten diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 19.

And I was diagnosed with bipolar one,

Which is seven days of mania followed by two weeks of depression.

And one of the symptoms of mania was racing thoughts.

And I remember driving,

I was on the long Island expressway.

And I just remember being so acutely aware of how many fast thoughts that I had.

And I learned to talk to each of those thoughts and slow my mind down by actually giving each of those thoughts or sub personalities a voice.

So in order for me to write this book,

The creative process,

I want to say was not linear.

It was messy.

It was frustrating,

But it has had the most profound impact on me because it has forced me to have to address my own mental health challenges.

Wow.

That is powerful.

Awesome.

What did you,

As you continued along or as you started to exercise this,

This new muscle sort of speak this new habit,

How did you carry yourself throughout that process?

I think a lot of times we can start something new and kind of beat ourselves up if it's not working out the way we think it would like,

Uh,

Would love to learn more about what that engagement process looked like and how you developed a stronger relationship to that new part of you.

Yeah,

No,

That's,

That's a,

That's an excellent question.

So how,

Wait,

I'm sorry.

Can you repeat the question?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was the,

Um,

How did,

How did it start off for you and how did it strengthen or kind of evolve over time?

What did that process look for you?

Okay.

So looking back at who I was when I first started writing the book to who I am today,

I'm going to just say a few words,

Um,

Maybe textures,

Textures that come to mind.

So who I was when I started writing,

This was rigid,

Was harsh.

Um,

Unforgiving,

Um,

Punishing,

Um,

Obsessive,

Controlling,

Um,

Very mean to myself and in some ways to the people closest to me.

Right.

And who I am today,

Uh,

I'd say a year and a few months since the writing process even began is curious.

Um,

It's so weird for me to even say this out loud,

Like even softer.

I don't really like people to associate me with softness because softness means weakness.

So like,

But I am,

I am way softer.

I know that.

And so even saying that it's like,

Oh wow,

People will see a softer side of me.

And it's like,

Oh man,

Am I susceptible to attack now?

You know?

So that's just even saying that out loud and feeling that in the moment is really freeing,

But that feels nice.

So I would say softer,

Definitely more playful.

Oh my God.

And also more disciplined.

It's interesting.

Like I'm naming all these,

Like I am using all these,

Like,

I don't wanna say frivolous,

But like very like,

Yeah,

Fun childlike,

But I'm also very disciplined.

It's beautiful.

Like I'm playful,

I'm creative.

I'm like in my joy,

I'm happy,

But I'm structured,

I'm disciplined.

Like it's beautiful how the two have integrated.

So that's,

That's my answer to your question.

How beautiful.

It sounds like you have developed a healthier marriage between your masculine and your feminine.

Wait a minute,

You just said a healthier marriage and all I've ever wanted to do my whole life was to save my parents' marriage,

But maybe I couldn't save their marriage,

But I saved the marriage with,

Between the man and woman in me.

Oh my God.

I could,

I really tried to save my parents' marriage and you know,

They,

They try to do the best they can,

But you know,

What I did do is save the man and woman within myself.

Wow.

How beautiful.

Yeah.

I love that.

Who am I right now?

Yeah.

I mean,

Your softness is your superpower.

Yeah.

Right.

We're rewriting that story that soft is equivalent to weakness.

Sap.

Yeah.

Softness is,

If you're softy,

You're a sap,

You're a wuss.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

That is absolutely not true.

And,

Um,

What a cool product of that journey for you that's been oozed into this book.

How unbelievable.

Yeah.

Um,

In regards to staying diligent with the writing process,

What was your,

How did you accomplish,

Or how did you goal set throughout the process?

So I have time to write a book.

Okay.

So I want to first say that I don't,

I know I don't need to,

But you know,

I,

It's me,

Myself,

My business,

My dog,

My home.

I had time to write this book.

So I set a goal for me,

A chapter a day.

I did a chapter a day.

I perfected a chapter a day.

I,

I,

I,

I,

I'm not going to say perfected it.

I,

I good enough to my chapters.

This is good enough to send in.

This is good enough to send in.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

I'm going to send in a chapter a day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And what did you do to work with that voice?

So when I noticed that I was resistance,

Like resistant in any of those chapters,

I would ask myself,

What's the story you're still holding on to?

And then I stepped away from the chapter and then I would go just play in nature.

I would just loosen up my energy and then I would during that time allow whatever needed to come up to come up.

Edibles also really help,

You know,

They loosen my brain,

Help me get into my body.

So I walked away from the chapter.

I think the biggest thing that I really want people to know,

Whether you're any creative project that you're working on a book or an episode or a relationship,

Like it's OK to walk away and come back.

Walking away doesn't mean walk away and then peace out.

I mean,

Sometimes it means that.

But like I'm talking about our creative projects,

Don't just toss it out.

You know,

I would be like,

OK,

I'm stuck on this chapter.

I'm going to walk away.

I'm going to feel into what's happening and I'm going to work through this.

And then when I feel a little bit less tight,

When I feel a little more expanded,

I'm going to come back and I'm going to take what I just realized.

I'm going to put it back into this chapter.

So that's how I dealt with that.

I went I went and dealt with it.

If I there was the chapter on voicing your resistance,

I was resistant.

And then I asked myself,

What areas of my life am I resistant?

Resist is still resisting.

You know,

A lot of it was in my area of being able to receive in friendships and be even more clear,

Be even more honest with you've experienced with me to,

You know,

Be really clear.

So then I just got honest with myself.

I didn't have to,

Like,

Fix anything.

It's just about being honest with yourself.

And once I was honest with myself,

I stopped having a block about it because at least I was honest with myself.

You know,

It wasn't controlling me.

Subconscious or your subconscious will control you.

You have to make your subconscious conscious.

So I saw what I was resisting and I was like,

OK,

We can't lie about this anymore.

So just even that honesty freed me just a little bit more to then take that energy and put it back into my chapter and write that chapter.

Yeah.

So you acknowledged it.

You accepted it.

You believed it.

And then did you.

Well,

What was that?

How would you summarize the next phase?

Like once you like saw I did it,

I integrated it.

You integrate.

Yeah.

So then I kind of like I would ask myself,

How would a person who didn't hold on to this belief or how would this person who then,

You know,

If this wasn't an issue,

Right,

How a person who is free from this belief,

How would they be?

You know,

It's not fake it to make it.

I just acted as if I act as if I act as if and it's not fake.

It's just new and uncomfortable.

So,

You know,

I had a I had a friend that once said to me,

Stop being insecure,

You know,

And I you know,

You could take that personally.

But I love that because I was like,

I could stop being insecure in the moment before I say some insecure shit.

I can ask myself,

Is this really the truth of who I am speaking?

When I say like,

Hey,

Do I look fat?

Why would I ask?

Why would I ask that question?

That's an insecure shit.

What's another question?

I probably won't ask anything,

But I might be like,

Do I look fabulous or or even not even ask?

I look fabulous.

Like it's not even a question.

It's a statement.

I look fabulous.

Right.

So I just kept asking myself the Vasubi who doesn't have this insecurity,

The Vasubi that is free from this.

What does she sound like?

Because I have access to her,

Too.

I don't have to just be this way.

I actually have different parts of myself that are just maybe disowned or dormant that we can channel and wake up,

You know.

So,

Yeah,

I am obsessed.

The yeah,

The concept of integration is so interesting.

Right.

And there's so many different ways and you can approach that.

And I really love how basically you just said you tapped into your higher self.

What would my higher self do in this moment?

So I want to share a way that anybody can do this.

OK,

So pick a story that has control over you.

OK,

My story was nobody loves me.

Nobody cares about me.

Nobody loves me.

Yeah.

All my past relationships.

Oh,

My God.

All these men,

All they do is use me.

All they do is use me.

Oh,

Nobody really loves me.

And I'm saying it like this because I want to put the whole experience.

I want to feel the whole experience.

You know what it feels like when you're in your shit.

It doesn't feel good.

Nobody loves me.

I'm all alone.

It's like,

You know,

I'm not making fun of it,

But it doesn't feel good.

You know,

It's not like,

Cool,

Let's go out and do some shit.

It's like,

Let's stay home and just feel sorry for ourselves,

You know.

And I don't have time to pity myself.

I've spent a lot of my life pitying myself and loathing myself,

You know.

So you have a story that you've been saying over and over again.

And you know how it feels.

You know the tone.

You know what it sounds like.

I just want you to tap into,

Like you said,

That voice of God within us,

Whatever.

That part of us that we all have access to,

The wise one,

The divine one,

The one that's just like,

Come on,

You know,

Like,

You can trust me.

You know,

This is all,

You know,

That I want to tap into that part that just trust,

That like everything is happening,

Is happening for me.

I know a lot of people don't like that,

But that has helped me throughout my life,

You know,

Pick myself back up.

So then you can be like,

Take that same story that you were saying like this and then like,

How can we even say it differently?

So even when it comes to like what I want to say about my exes,

I can say,

You know,

I was in three relationships that really opened the door and opened my eyes to parts of myself that needed deep healing.

And while these relationships were very traumatic for me at the time,

I'm very grateful for who I've become as a result of them.

And you check in with yourself and you're like,

Do I believe my own words?

You know,

When you're lying,

You know,

When you're lying,

Your body feels it.

When I say that and reframe it in that way,

I'm like,

Yes,

It's not a lie.

I'm not suppressing the pain.

I'm acknowledging it,

But I'm also infusing the wisdom that I think that is accessible to all of us,

That,

You know,

Everything that is happening is happening for a reason.

You know,

And we got to look at it that way.

What is this trying to teach me?

You know,

Because if we can do that,

We are our biggest project.

We can just go back to ourselves and be like,

Wow,

We can have fun with this.

That's just my approach.

I love that so much.

And you can use that question across every single human experience.

Right,

It's not just like,

Oh,

Like,

How do I find that right question,

That right affirmation,

That right mantra?

It's this is all something that we can embody and take with us throughout the process.

Even even even,

You know,

Films,

Worst antagonist,

You know,

You see movies with like the worst person ever.

Right.

Even they have a heart.

So it's like we get to look at these different parts of ourselves that we've discarded and been like,

Oh,

I don't want it and give it some love.

Mm hmm.

How beautiful.

Oh,

My God.

Yeah.

I would love to learn more about the why.

Oh,

OK.

Yeah.

I wanted to ask you this.

So saying saying it out loud,

As we just talked about,

Is so important to the healing process.

And what I'm just really curious,

What are your do you write at all during this process?

Because,

You know,

Journaling is such a,

You know,

Huge concept these days.

And,

You know,

Putting a vocal to it is adding another higher vibrational healing process to that.

So,

Yeah.

How did you did you write it all during your your saying it out loud process?

Yeah.

Like you mean you mean even throughout my life as I as I practice the stuff that I'm writing about?

No,

For me,

I did not.

But now I do.

I do not write religiously.

I notice I have a pattern.

I will use my voice and talk to myself through things out loud.

And I do write down my daily action steps.

That's what I write.

I write notes in the shower.

So let me share with you where I do write.

I always write down on paper and in my calendar,

My,

You know,

I cal on my on my phone what I'm doing.

So I hand write it and then I put it in my calendar.

So is everything is programmed.

What I need to do is is I can see it digitally.

I can also see it written down.

I also bought for my shower shower notes and I write down thoughts or intentions while I'm in the shower.

So I have a pencil like it's like a waterproof pencil.

So I write down I write down my thoughts in the shower.

And recently what I do is when I'm going through a little bit of a depression,

Because with bipolar one,

I'll have like I say seven days of like,

Whoop,

Whoop,

Whoop,

Whoop.

And then it'll be like two weeks of,

Oh my God,

You know,

In those lower,

Darker moments,

I do write because I'm so tired.

I don't even want to talk.

I'm so exhausted.

I don't even want to use my voice that I just allow myself to really just kind of go inwards,

Like with all the all the voices.

And then I'll take a piece of paper and I'll just,

I actually make a list called a worry list.

And I don't try to spiritually bypass that shit and call it like a,

Oh,

I'm going to free myself.

Like,

No,

These are my worries.

I am worried.

You know,

I just say what it is.

I don't try to fluff shit up because when we do that,

We're patronizing ourselves.

I need to soften this up for me because I'm a weak ass bitch.

I'm not a weak ass bitch.

I don't want to do that.

It is a worry for me.

Call it what it is.

And then I dump out all my worries.

And then I look through each of those worries.

So now that I get it out,

I can kind of channel my rational part of my brain.

And I look through each worry and I'm like,

Okay,

Is this urgent right now?

Do I need to worry about this right now?

No,

Put it over there.

So that's how I use writing.

I use writing to organize my thoughts.

Yeah.

I love that.

I love that so much.

If there was one thing you wish the collective could be saying out loud to themselves,

What would it be?

That's such a nice question.

Nice is such a watered down word.

That is a phenomenal question.

If there,

If,

Can you repeat the question again?

Yes.

If there was one thing that you wish the collective could say out loud to themselves or itself,

What would that phrase be?

If I could have the collective say one thing to themselves out loud,

Like,

And,

And,

And that would be the thing that would like just catalyze their like,

Yes,

I can do this.

It would be like,

This is what you would say to yourself.

Yes,

You can.

Yes,

You can.

Yeah.

It would just be,

Yes,

You can.

Fuck yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I love that so much.

Thank you.

Vassily,

I could go on and on.

I am so insanely excited to read this book.

Can you,

Can you remind me when it comes out?

Yes.

So the book comes out.

You didn't even have to ask me twice.

Okay.

So my book,

Say it out loud,

Comes out May 16,

2023.

When you pre-order,

Get this.

Okay.

I cannot wait.

I've been wanting to tell this to everyone.

So the book is released May 16,

2023,

But when you order it,

It'll get delivered to your house on May 18th,

2023.

And that is my 41st birthday.

I did not plan this.

I did not plan this.

That is a God moment.

So yes,

I did not plan.

So everyone's going to have my book on my birthday.

Wow.

So no negative reviews.

No,

I'm just kidding.

I can handle it.

I can,

I can,

I can handle it.

Speak your truth out loud.

It's okay.

That's what the book is about.

It's okay.

So yeah,

And you can go to say it out loud book.

Com and you can order the book.

I have two bonuses.

The first bonus is in June,

Dates to be decided,

But you will get information closer to the date.

I'm going to be doing a say it out loud virtual book club.

So this virtual book club that I'm going to be running in June,

Which is a bonus when you pre-order copies,

Copy copies.

We're going to fast track through the book.

So we're going to do three chapters a week and this is it.

We're going in deep and this is like,

And that's one of the bonuses.

So you get me literally every week for the next four weeks in June and you get like a fast track version of the book with me.

And then the other bonus is instant access.

It's a,

Like a 30 something minute guided audio bonus training.

I created this because in my recovery,

When I just was like going through my shit and I was emotionally not very sober,

I would listen to this audio track that just walked me through the 12 steps and I was like,

Oh my God,

I have 12 steps in my book.

I'm going to walk people through a 12 step program where they're saying out loud the answers to the prompts.

And then you're literally,

I'm literally guiding you to get back home to yourself within yourself using your voice.

So that's another bonus that you get when you pre-order.

So say it out loud book.

Com.

Um,

Yeah,

Please go ahead and get the book.

If you,

Um,

Work in an organization,

If you are part of association,

School,

Community mastermind,

And you want to help elevate the experience of your employees,

Your colleagues,

Your friends,

Your family,

Then definitely bulk buy books.

And you can just give this as a gift and it'll be great for their development.

Um,

Communication wise,

Self-expression wise,

I can go on and on and on and on because when you learn how to talk to yourself,

When you change the way you speak to yourself,

You show up kinder,

You show up more understanding,

You show up more compassionate,

You show up more you.

And when you do that,

You invite people in to be more of themselves.

The world would be a much safer,

Happier place if we all were just the realist versions of ourselves.

And I believe at the core of every single one of us,

There is nothing but God.

So that's what I'm going to say on this episode about my book.

Damn girl.

How cool.

It's your birthday and you're gifting the entire world this insane.

It's like I was,

Yeah,

You're going to get my book on the day I was born.

How cool.

Thank you for guesting us.

That's a God moment.

That's a God moment.

It is.

It is.

Thank you so much Vasavi.

I can't wait to dive headfirst into this piece of text.

And until next time,

Can't wait to talk soon.

Thank you.

And thank you so much Angelica for being so present and asking me such beautiful questions that let my audience get to know the real me,

The me that I show,

But even on a deeper level.

So thank you so much.

You're absolutely welcome.

All right,

Y'all.

Thank you for tuning in.

Be sure to pre-order the book,

Say it out loud book.

Com.

Thank you so much for your continued dedication and listening.

Love you.

Reviews

Thank you.

Informative and sincere. Always Ty and bless you V
🙏🏻💗🙏🏻