12 Things To Let Go Of To Succeed

What does success mean to you? Have you tried everything to become "successful" and still find yourself running into wall after wall? You might be up against these 12 things that are keeping you from truly rising to your full potential.

Transcript

You know,

I've been hearing so much about success.

My clients always ask me this.

People that I come across always ask me,

What do I need to do to succeed?

I'm not successful.

So my question first,

Before we even begin,

Is really how do you define success?

Is success just the amount of money in your bank account?

Is success defined by how happy you are?

How much love you have in your life?

How healthy you are?

So just keep that in mind as we go over the 12 things that you need to let go of to succeed.

So number one,

Let go of comparing yourself to others.

There is absolutely no point comparing yourself to another person because you will never be like them nor will they be like you.

You were made with a specific fingerprint,

Literally,

And you are unique in your own way.

So rather than comparing yourself to other people,

Take a look at what you're good at,

What your strengths are,

And how you can make a difference in the world.

And instead of comparing,

Look at what you can learn from other people as opposed to making yourself wrong or less than.

I also want you to notice if you spend your time looking at what other people have and comparing it to yourself,

Oh,

She has a better husband or oh,

They have more money,

I don't have this.

I want you to practice in that moment when you catch yourself comparing,

Just stop,

Drop,

And give gratitude.

Because there is no way,

And yes,

I'm being intentionally dramatic,

There is no way that you can attract success into your life if you're not willing to be grateful for what you have right now.

Because think about it,

If you're always comparing and coming from a place of less than or I don't have enough,

Then no matter what you accomplish,

It will never be enough.

Number two,

Let go of resentment.

Resentment is like drinking a bottle of poison and hoping your enemy dies from it.

Nelson Mandela said that.

And the only person that suffers from resentment is you.

Practice forgiveness,

Beat up some pillows,

Write a long letter and throw it in the fire.

Whatever you got to do,

Let go of it because it holds no space in your mind and heart and will keep you from moving forward powerfully.

A lot of times clients that I come across that want to take on a new endeavor share with me that someone said something to them that they can't do it or their parents might have said something to them and so they're holding on to that and they're angry about that and they're resentful about that.

And my coaching to them is always the same thing,

That the only thing stopping you right now is the resentment and the energy that you're holding on to.

Because I guarantee those people that are causing you that kind of resentment are not sitting there thinking about you.

Your life is too short for you to be holding on to that kind of anger.

Number three,

Let go of being inauthentic.

So you may think that people don't see when you're being ingenuous,

But guess again,

Because fakeness or inauthenticity can be spotted a mile away.

Have you ever been in an interaction with someone and you can just tell that something's missing or that they're wearing a mask?

Yeah,

The same works for you too.

It's all energy that can be felt.

Do yourself a favor and start showing up as you.

You know,

I really had a problem with this growing up.

I grew up in an all-white school and I really wanted to fit in and so I would not talk about my Indian culture.

I would not talk about my heritage or my religion because I thought I wouldn't be accepted.

But as I got older,

I found that people really wanted to learn about who I was.

And in order for someone to really be with me,

I had to be willing to take off the mask and just trust and surrender and let go of that protection.

And on the other side of inauthenticity,

When you let that go and you let yourself just be who you are,

There is such an immense amount of freedom.

And I know that you want that freedom.

So start showing up as you.

Number four,

Let go of excuses.

Excuses are lame.

Repeat after me.

Say the word lame.

Lame.

Lame.

Excuses are lame.

And it's your way of letting yourself off the hook and then trying to get everyone else into buying into those excuses.

We all make excuses.

I make excuses.

I catch myself now,

But I have made excuses for why I'm not where I want to be in my,

In my health and wellbeing,

In my business.

And the minute you let go of those excuses,

What's available to you is just total responsibility for how your life goes.

Excuses are the number one reason,

In my opinion,

Why people don't move forward in their life.

So as opposed to making an excuse for why you didn't do something or why you can't have what you want,

Make a choice.

Choices are so powerful.

And if you want to choose not to do something,

Own it.

Just own it.

Yeah,

I don't want to go to the gym today.

Okay,

Great.

Own it.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

But the more you start getting clear about the goals that you have for yourself and the more you become committed to that,

The less the excuses become your automatic go to.

So let go of the excuses.

Number five,

Let go of the need to control everything.

Listen,

I openly admit that I'm a recovering control freak and a perfectionist.

And while I get this crazy high from controlling things because I feel powerful when I do,

It is exhausting.

I want you to practice to learn to let go just a little bit,

Day by day,

And watch how the universe will work in your favor.

Plus you won't be as stressed and have heart disease down the road.

Start practicing by doing something that you always need to do in order for you to feel calm.

So let me give you an example.

I can come home from networking or meeting clients and I could be starving.

I'll be starving because I didn't pack anything with me and I'm starving.

And I come home and instead of eating,

I look around the apartment and I'm like,

Oh my god,

This is out of place,

That's out of place.

And I won't eat until everything is perfect around me.

I have really let that go because my,

I got to feed me.

I got to feed my tummy.

And that's one way that I have let go of control.

Another way I have let go of control is in my relationship with my husband.

Not needing him to be a certain way.

Not needing him to say the quote unquote right thing.

Because there is no right thing to say.

This is just what our perception is of what we think the right thing is to say.

So do yourself and everyone else the favor of just letting go of that control just a little bit.

Number six,

Let go of gossiping.

Whenever I'm around people that gossip,

I leave.

Because quite frankly,

I don't want that energy infiltrating into my being.

And the next time you gossip,

I want you to hold a mirror up to your face because what you're putting out there into the universe about another human being is exactly the way you feel about yourself.

Gossip is straight up wrong and at the end of the day,

It'll come back to you.

Trust me,

I know.

And instead of gossiping,

Take a look at your own life and what you would like to improve upon.

I'm not talking about another person who isn't even there to defend themselves.

It's also just plain good karma.

What goes around comes around.

If you're going to talk about people behind their back,

I guarantee people will be talking about you.

Number seven,

Let go of complaining.

I want you to practice declaring this week a no complaint zone.

Yep,

You heard me.

No complaining allowed.

Complaining actually makes the act of whatever you have to do more excruciatingly painful.

So,

Next time you have to do something that you would normally complain about,

Don't complain and just do it.

What I love about my mother's generation and my grandmother's generation is that even the things that seem hard,

Like my husband's grandmother actually,

She's like 80 something and she still bends over and cleans the floor.

She will be standing and she'll kneel over and clean the floor with a wet towel or sometimes she'll just get down and squat and just walk on her hands and knees and clean the floor.

This woman is 80 something and I asked her,

She doesn't speak a lot of English,

But I asked her,

How do you do that every single day?

Don't you not like it?

She said,

I don't even think about it.

I just do it.

She goes,

If I complained,

It would be harder for me to do it.

Just think about where you're complaining.

Physical well-being is one place where I've always complained.

Now I just get up and go.

I just got to get up and go because if I complain,

I will outsmart myself and I won't go.

Notice when you're complaining and just practice doing it.

Number eight,

Let go of lying to yourself and others.

No one likes a liar.

Whether you're trying to hide something,

Impress someone or start drama,

Lying takes a lot of energy to cover up and maintain.

Just start speaking the truth.

Being out of integrity with yourself and others is the number one obstacle to success.

Just think about all the energy that it takes for you to lie.

I don't know about you,

But if I've ever told a lie,

I can't go to sleep at night.

I know that for some of you listening that it might be hard for you to tell the truth because you're afraid of the other person might not like,

They may not like you,

They may not be pleased with what you're saying,

But it is not,

Not everyone's going to like everything that you have to say.

So be responsible for how you're saying it,

Whatever it is that you've got to say.

If you need to say no,

Just say no.

If you don't like something in a friendship or in a relationship,

Be honest,

But you can't control how the other person reacts,

But you can,

You do have the power to choose your words carefully and still speak the truth.

Number nine,

Let go of judging others.

When you judge others,

You are simply avoiding looking into yourself and anytime you feel the urge to judge someone,

I just want you to stop and ask yourself,

What is it that I can't be with in that person?

What is it in that person that triggers me so much so that I'm going to gossip?

I mean,

Sorry,

That I'm going to judge them.

Same thing.

You'll see that whatever you're judging that person about is exactly what you judge yourself about and point blank judging other people is just mean.

And actually it's a great learning lesson for you because when you notice that you're about to judge someone,

Just stop and ask yourself,

What do I need to be learning here?

Number 10,

Let go of judging yourself.

Well,

It's the same thing as let go of judging others.

So just replace others with yourself.

So when you're judging yourself,

Just think about it.

When you are judging yourself,

You're avoiding looking into yourself because underneath the judgment is something,

Is something deeper,

Maybe some pain,

Maybe some despair.

But when you judge yourself and it sounds unkind,

What's really missing here is the opportunity for you to have compassion for yourself.

The opposite of judging is compassion.

I can speak to this.

I have been known to hold an emotional bat in my hands at all times.

And through time and with practice,

I have learned to have more compassion with myself and be easy with myself.

So just remember,

Every time you're about to judge yourself,

Just ask yourself,

What do I need in this moment instead of judging myself?

Number 11,

Let go of seeking approval from others.

My mother once said to me,

If I waited for everyone to approve of me,

I would be waiting for a very long time.

So start by acknowledging yourself.

You are never,

And I repeat never,

Going to get the approval of every single person you come across.

So start with the most important person and get their approval,

You.

Because at the end of the day,

You need to sleep with you.

You need to start approving of you.

You need to start looking into yourself.

And number 12,

The last one,

Let go of your story about why you can't succeed.

Your story,

Your past,

Your circumstance,

All of it will keep you from moving forward.

I want you to notice every time you have a story about something,

Anything,

Anyone.

A story can show up as an excuse.

A story can show up as a complaint.

It can show up as a reason.

It's the reason.

I want you to think of the story as the why.

The story is the why you did what you did.

The story is the why you can't do what you want to do.

The story is why you said what you said.

All it does is keep you stuck,

Provide excellent reasons and excuses why you can't do,

Be,

Or have all that you want.

Your story typically involves something from the past or your own rendition of how you think something or someone should have been.

It also involves a whole bunch of nonsensical drama that will drain you of any sort of positive energy.

So I want you to just catch yourself.

If you can just catch yourself telling a story,

You'll be like 50% on your way to living a life of full responsibility.

Oftentimes when I'm working with my clients in our coaching sessions and I hear them giving me a story,

I interrupt them and I ask them,

Is this a story?

Is this a story?

Is this an excuse?

Is this a reason?

Because every time you tell a story,

Okay,

I want you to hear this,

That every time you tell a story,

A little piece of your soul dies.

Every time you tell a story and you live from that story,

A little piece of you dies.

So I want you all to know that it was a pleasure talking to you.

I hope to hear from you again.

You know that you can always call me at 913-951-1764 or email me at vasavi at vasavikumar.

Com or check out my website at www.

Vasavikumar.

Com.

Until next time,

Be kind to yourself.

Reviews

Excellent talk. The speaker is clear and concise. Her volume and talking speed are good. The talk is about success, however it’s about more than success. It’s about contentment, joy and peace of mind. The recommendations are things we have heard before. I listened to this talk three times back to back to integrate the recommendations into my mindset. Listen and see if you agree.

I am at that stage of judging. I am right and he is wrong. Very timely talk

Really sound advice here. Worth listening to a few times to let it all really sink in 🙏

Loved

Very direct, i love that approach. You see the most results when cut out all the extra fluff and get right into the solutions. Don’t waste time in the problems is very efficient and effective. Thank you .

Oh, man ! I really, really liked this talk. So simple and clear. I will come back to this. Thank you. ♥️

Concise. To the point. Motivating. Inspiring🌷🎶🙏

I listen to this often! Thank you for your honesty and humor 😊

That was terrific! This is a message to be shared with anyone at any age. We so need to be reminded of these 12 important points. Thank you.

Honestly and encouraging thank you