034: What is Transformation? Interview with DJ MBRACE

This is an interview with one of my close friends, DJ MBRACE, about his work as a DJ and what transformation means to him as he changes a space into a party. Thanks for listening.

Transcript

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Create a life you love.

Transformation is an ongoing journey,

And it is good that we don't have to walk that path alone.

My name is Tudor Alexander,

And this is my weekly podcast sharing life lessons on and off the competitive floor with a few stories in between.

Thank you for joining me on this journey,

And now let's create a life we love.

All right,

All right,

Everybody.

I'm here.

Welcome back.

This is Tudor.

This is the Seven Transformations Podcast,

And I'm here with one of my awesome best friends,

DJ Embrace.

Hey,

How's it going,

Guys?

What's up,

Guys?

So we're going to pick DJ Embrace's mind.

He's one of my best friends today about transformation.

That's in a series of episodes where I'm interviewing with people from all kinds of walks of life and how transformation is part of what they do,

Maybe without even knowing it.

So DJ Embrace,

Obviously,

What's your function there?

What kind of DJ are you?

Well,

I would say I'm kind of the jack of all trades when it comes to DJing.

I really love playing completely unique parties every single time.

So I've been DJing now for about 10 years,

And I started in high school just as something for fun.

Like,

I went to a family party.

A garage party.

Exactly.

You know,

I always loved just I had this giant binder of CDs that I would play,

And I was always just like trying to collect different stuff.

I had a little bit of Elvis,

A little bit of a little bow wow when I was in high school.

All the classics.

I would do literally all kinds of stuff,

And I would just be in my CD player making the perfect mix.

You know,

And I feel like that was something that since a little kid I was always attracted to,

Making little mix tapes or I had made those little CDs.

Back when LimeWire was out,

I was downloading all the tracks.

So I was that kid like illegally downloading songs so I could make my friends CDs and be like,

Yo,

This is an amazing CD.

Like,

You gotta have this mix.

You're the coolest kid on the play.

It has like the best stuff ever.

So I feel like I've always been called to that.

And I was at a family party and I was just playing some of my CDs.

I had my CD binder there and one of my aunts was like,

Wow,

You know what?

You really play good mix.

Like you play stuff that everybody likes and this and that.

And she's like,

Hey,

Do you want to play,

You know,

Maybe for your cousin's birthday party?

Like I'll pay you 20 bucks.

And I'm like,

What?

Like,

What?

Like this beginning of your career.

Exactly.

I had this like golden light bulb came up and I was like,

Wait a minute.

Like people like this stuff.

Like,

And I can make a little bit of money doing this stuff.

I'm like,

This is awesome.

Interesting.

So next things comes up pretty much.

I DJ a family party.

Everybody has fun.

They're like,

Hey,

How about you DJ this party?

Okay,

Well it's 20 bucks.

Awesome.

So I was doing family and friends parties for like 20 bucks.

And so that's how it continued all the way through high school.

I just kept doing like,

Okay,

Then I did my friend's graduation party.

Then I did the school dance and I played at the basketball game or equipment.

So yeah,

Exactly.

Save up a little bit by now.

I have a speaker save up a little bit more.

Now I have two speakers save up a little bit more.

And now I have a light,

A really cool light that I can bring.

It's like,

Oh,

Well now I can really do parties.

Like we can turn the lights down and I have two lights that move to the music.

So it's super cool.

So then I went from charging 20 to 30 to 40 to 50.

And then once I started doing weddings in college is when I was starting to DJ and I was like,

Wow,

I can actually pay for my books and not be completely broke in college and do something that's flexible.

I can be going to school during the week and DJing parties on Fridays and Saturday nights and having fun while doing it.

So it was a completely different world in terms of all the things that I got to see because as a DJ,

You see people in a certain element.

Oh yeah.

They can you create that whole experience and whatever it is,

Whether it's a party or a wedding or you know.

Yeah.

And usually it's some type of special occasion.

So people are kind of preparing for that moment or people are either really excited or maybe a little bit nervous if it's a wedding or for some reason it's always some sort of celebration.

So I've always looked at myself and what I do as being kind of the master of celebration.

You know,

If somebody looks at the master of ceremonies,

I also try to do that and make sure the event is running smoothly and make all the announcements that I want to make.

But it's really being able to observe and create an atmosphere for celebration.

I would say like that's the number one thing that for me has been the same across the board.

So it's really cool to see whether it's a wedding and you've got all this family and friends that sometimes come from out of town hundreds of miles away.

They all come to celebrate this magical moment.

One moment.

Exactly.

And there's these moments where everyone's consciousness or is like captive on the dance floor,

Whether it's their first dance,

Whether it's everybody get involved in a big group line dance or the bridal party dance.

Everyone's in sync.

Exactly.

So they're all there for the same reason.

They're there to celebrate.

They're there to enjoy each other's company.

They're there to relax and have fun.

And what's really cool is I get to see all the different levels of fun that people have.

So for example,

You know,

I DJ'd a lot for sororities and fraternities in college.

Now you can imagine a sorority and fraternity party is going to be a lot different than a wedding.

Like quinceañera.

Or quinceañera or graduation party or,

You know,

A 10 year old's birthday party.

So lead us to say I was transformed in watching those parties and learning a lot about different environments because look,

I could tell you when I was 18,

I moved out.

I went to ACU first thing like,

And I basically didn't go back home after that because I was just in school and I was DJing and working.

And so from the age of 18,

I was already DJing these house parties and college parties.

So now,

You know,

Most people,

They say when you leave,

When you leave school,

Like you might go crazy and just start drinking and doing all this crazy stuff because now that you're free,

You're not around your parents' supervision anymore.

So for me,

That was kind of true in the sense that that's what I wanted.

I was like,

Yeah,

Like I'm out of the house.

Like,

Man,

You know what?

I can hang out with girls whenever I want.

I can go to parties.

If somebody offers me some beer,

I can drink it.

Like I'm 18,

I could do whatever,

You know.

So I went and DJ'd these parties where it was everywhere,

Where there was constant drinking,

People really being too drunk for their own good.

But through watching that experience,

I learned big time.

I was like,

You know what?

That doesn't look that interesting to get that level of drunk.

I learned through other people's kind of stupor,

If you would,

Like literally everyone was just out of their mind.

So I learned a lot from that just being able to observe,

Okay,

There's a level of celebration that's healthy and there's a level of celebration that's unhealthy.

Well,

It's really interesting.

I know we've been to a lot of parties together and especially ones that you have DJ'd.

And I'll never forget that party where we were at a friend's house.

You just put the music on and suddenly we were all just hanging out in this living room and suddenly it became a party.

Suddenly it was transformed.

Like the space became a different experience.

And you probably felt that as a little kid,

Like there was something you liked about the process of creating that music and having,

I guess,

Maybe even a role to your friends or a purpose in some way.

What did you like about that?

What was your favorite part of this process of being a DJ?

Maybe it's changed.

Maybe when you were a kid,

It was getting a recognition from your friends and being the cool kid because you had something unique to offer.

And maybe part of that is still today.

What is your favorite part of the process of being this DJ that does,

You know,

When people bring you,

They transform that situation into a memory,

Into an experience,

Into a party in a place that they remember forever.

So you can give that to them.

What's your favorite part of the process?

Yeah,

You know,

The most common theme that I would say overall is being able to create the experience of celebration and an interruption from whatever their day to day lives are.

Like you know,

You mentioned influences and what influenced that.

It was probably my family and my friends because my family is a very musical family.

Like we hear the radio and we'll just like turn it up and blast it and sing it in the car.

And if you heard a song that we all love,

It's like,

That's what we did.

So I loved seeing that reaction of people coming together and be like,

Oh my God,

Are you playing that song right now?

I love that song.

Yes.

And like everyone lights up and people just come out to the dance floor,

Start dancing,

Start moving,

Even if they're just singing along and moving their head and tapping their feet.

It's so cool to see that group synchronized interaction.

Like it's like,

Oh cool.

And you're the one responsible for that.

That's what I like.

Everybody's consciousness was separate and then suddenly now it's like one mind,

One will.

Well,

If you think about it,

You have one unifying stimulus that's uniting people together.

Yeah,

That's true.

The music.

And that's what happens if you think about any type of conversation,

You're being engaged in the stimulus of speaking with somebody.

So it's the same thing,

But you're engaged in the stimulus of the music moving and the lyrics that are being spoken and everyone instantly is transported to an experience for them.

So let's say you play a really popular song.

I don't know something.

Let's say something kind of silly,

Like the Macarena,

Right?

Whether you like it or not,

You're going to hear it and you're going to say,

Oh,

Macarena.

You're like,

Hey,

You know,

I remember.

I just got a story.

I remember when I was like nine years old,

10 years old.

Hey,

Either you did it or you don't.

But at that time,

Everyone knew that song was huge,

Massive.

Like you heard it on the radio non stop.

And so even mentioning it to you now,

It probably brought you to a time and space.

Yeah.

It brought me right back to whatever when I was what,

12,

13 when it came out just in high school.

I don't know.

It's just weird.

So it's kind of that same thing,

But I get to create that all night and I get to create players.

And so you know what I'm looking at as a DJ,

You know,

I look to take them on a journey and each night,

Let's say for example,

At a wedding,

I'm really going to look at the crowd and see who's there.

The weddings are some of the hardest events to DJ actually,

Because you have the most type of people.

You have old people,

You have young people,

You have family,

You have friends.

Yeah.

They're not all there for an EDM concert or rock concert.

Exactly.

And this isn't a place where they're all typically together.

Like we all know that you might act a certain way around your friends in a certain way around your family.

Like,

You know,

How are you going to be around them?

And what is going to be the unifying music that allows everyone to enjoy that night simultaneously?

So in that process,

My goal is to take them on a journey.

So you know,

You start the night off with some of the older songs that everyone can recognize from 60s,

70s,

80s,

90s,

Stuff like that,

That everyone can kind of sing along to.

And that's primed in a way to be able to really get the full experience of enjoyment.

And as you go up a little bit,

Exactly.

And as you go into the end of the night,

Typically,

It's going to be just your closest friends that are going to stay and party with you all night long at your wedding.

You know,

Your grandparents might go home a little bit early,

You know,

Or some you got family that might be out of town,

Stuff like that.

That's usually how it works.

So you're gradually going into the newer,

More fast paced stuff that you would be with your friends and singing out,

You know,

At a bar because you had a few drinks or something like that,

You know,

Right,

Right.

So really,

That's kind of the whole process of what I get to do as I see people.

And at the end of the night,

It's so satisfying when I have somebody come up to me and say,

Hey,

You know what,

I really love like,

The music you played tonight,

It brought back so many memories,

Like,

I really liked the mix.

You know,

My family had a great time,

I had a great time.

To me,

It gives that little moment in time that you look back into,

Because when you think about it,

Any event,

Especially a wedding,

You don't remember typically what you ate,

You don't remember what the flowers look like,

You remember the memories of having fun with your families,

Or having fun with your friend,

Or,

You know,

Being arm in arm and singing out Sweet Caroline as you're,

You know,

Dancing at the end of the night.

Like those are the things you're like,

That was so fun,

You have a memory and experience of that night.

And that's what I love for myself,

You know,

So it's like,

Every time I get to do that,

I get number one,

The satisfaction of being able to contribute to somebody else's evening,

Give them that fun memory,

And also enjoy it myself.

So it's super cool.

I really love like looking at and it's like,

Every time you do a gig,

It's like a jigsaw puzzle.

Yeah,

Figure out how you how you're gonna crack the code.

Yeah,

Yeah.

So you look at the crowd,

See,

Okay,

Who are these people?

So in a way,

I kind of have to look and analyze,

Like,

What's the type of crowd I'm working with,

What's the type of music and what does that represent in how I bring that order of music.

So every single time I love that unique challenge.

And so it gives me this endless realm of no two parties are unique.

I mean,

Are the same.

Every party is unique.

And no two parties are the same,

Which is really cool.

So I mean,

It's like,

I get to go into this fun kind of challenge where I get to see people dance,

The music,

And I get to create something unique for each family,

Or friends or whatever group of people are together.

Crack the code for transforming that night.

Exactly.

Well,

You mentioned something really interesting about when you first started DJing in college and how those experiences watching other people get really crazy kind of acted as a vicarious barometer almost for you to start developing an awareness of,

Okay,

Well,

You know,

Maybe I don't want to get that crazy in my own life.

So that's one area that being a DJ has transformed you in your life.

Obviously,

There's a lot of contributory aspects that you've mentioned,

You know,

Regarding your relationships in your life,

The people close to you,

Even your clients and the people you have worked for.

How has this work of,

You know,

Contributing to others memories and transforming their nights really,

How has that transformed you?

Is there any other aspects of your life that have been transformed?

What's been the impact around your family?

You know,

Yeah,

For sure.

I mean,

Anytime I'm planning these events,

Which is a big part of DJing that a lot of people don't really talk about,

There's like,

Obviously,

The act of DJing,

Which is just playing the music and having fun.

But planning it is a big aspect when you meet with event planners or people who's planning their party or their wedding.

You know,

What I've found unanimously across the board,

And what I've been able to use as a tool is that at the end of the day,

Everybody just wants to be their event to be okay.

Like,

They're like,

I just want this to run well,

Like,

That's what they're really,

That's what you're really selling in a way.

So if I could say that if the security of a good night,

Yeah,

Exactly.

They're saying,

Hey,

I want to make sure you know what you're doing,

You know how to handle a crowd.

And you can give people a nice,

Exciting experience.

Very rarely are people demanding and saying,

Listen,

This better be the best party in the world.

Okay.

Like,

They don't,

You know,

They're usually just,

Hey,

I want to know that everything's gonna be okay.

Like,

You're gonna play some good music,

And you're gonna take care of me and my guests because that you're we're putting our trust in you,

Right?

Yeah,

You're gonna host the night.

Vulnerable.

And it's like,

Every time I have those interactions,

I get to be able to speak from a place that talks about,

Listen,

This is what I have to offer to make sure that you know that you can trust me in this process of DJ,

So that's kind of one of the big factors that I can take into in any area of my life.

It's like,

What people want is the end of days trust.

Yeah,

People want to trust in you that you're going to deliver on a product or service or even as a friend or as a life partner.

That's really what it comes down to like,

Having that baseline level of like,

Hey,

We're going to be okay.

And I'm going to be in this journey with you.

I'm going to help support your journey.

And you don't have to worry about your night not going well,

Because it's going to go well.

And that's,

That's kind of,

You know,

People don't really plan events and parties that often,

So they don't know they don't have that expectation of how is the night going to go.

So for them,

They just need that assurance.

And a lot of it's a feeling.

So I meet with a lot of my clients and plan beforehand,

I meet with them in person.

So I talk with them about what do they want for their party and you know,

Really,

I get to feel and they get to feel that vibration.

Yeah,

Energy exchange.

Exactly.

And at the end,

They either trust you or they don't.

They say,

Okay,

Sure,

Let's book and then they'll sign the contracts and go with it.

But there's almost this nonverbal kind of exchange and understanding evaluation like yeah.

So ultimately,

For me,

I try to be as upfront and as authentic as possible in terms of like what my experiences what I have to offer,

And what I would like to do for your wedding or for your event or whatever it is can contribute.

Exactly open with it.

And then they be upfront and authentic about what they would like what they would really enjoy,

I try to get them to paint a picture of what they want their wedding to feel like and look like and all that kind of stuff.

And then I see if I can embody that.

And then we just go from there.

And so it's helped me in so many areas of communication with everyone around me and every single relationship that you have is that you just want to know in any transaction that you have.

And I say transaction because I believe that all of our communication is a transaction is all little mini transactions.

Exactly.

Like,

We're all every single thing that you speak is has an intent to get somewhere or earn something or contribute something.

It may not be material,

It might be informational.

Exactly.

So it's like,

When you get to know that there's a game involved of just knowing those transactions and that each transaction when it comes from trust,

Everything's possible.

There's such a whole new world is opened up,

Where not only do you know that it's going to be okay,

Consciously or cognitively,

You can actually feel like,

Hey,

All right,

We made the right choice.

Like intuitively,

We picked a good DJ or you know what,

Hey,

I like that guy.

He's a good friend or,

You know,

That's going to work out because just there's a kind of an unverbal trust beyond the logical part,

Something energetical or vibrational.

Yeah,

Totally.

And that is the key also to a good party because you really have to beyond me knowing music because anybody could go to you know,

Billboard and type in the top 100 songs and know like these are the popular songs right now.

But knowing what to play and feeling exactly what's going on in the crowd at that moment.

That's number one,

The exciting part and the part where you get to intuitively interact with the crowd.

I'm like,

Okay,

What's going to get people going right now?

What's going to bring back that memory?

What's going to make people feel like they're connecting more,

They're falling in love,

Like what's going to get all the couples to come out on the dance floor and just share a nice moment together.

So all of those things are important aspects to look at.

Aside from the on paper,

What a DJ does play music.

So that's why I really love it.

And it's a constant challenge because every single event that you do,

You're always getting unique people,

The music is always changing.

Yeah,

You never know.

Yeah,

Exactly.

The music is always changing constantly too.

So I have to stay on top of myself with what I'm putting out.

But it's either way,

It's a summary of all the music that's ever been created.

I like to think of it that way.

It's like,

Look,

You have no new original idea.

Exactly.

So it's like,

I have a library of like 20,

000 songs on my hard drive.

So it's like,

All right,

Well,

Of those 20,

000,

What do you want to play right now?

Time to go fishing.

And that kind of stuff fascinates me like as to the capacity of the human mind.

You can index all that.

I have 20,

000 songs that at some point I put on that hard drive.

And I could look at them and say,

Oh yeah,

I know that song.

You remember a little story behind that.

Unbelievable.

Yeah.

If that doesn't blow your mind,

I don't know what.

You can think about any song on your hard drive and the amount of capacity that our brain has to store all that information,

Song titles,

Names,

Plus some little detail about where we were,

How old we were when we heard that song.

It blows my mind.

Well,

You kind of dipped into the next question I wanted to ask you,

Which is that it's not always easy,

Basically.

That's the next question.

So in all the jobs and careers that we do and all the lines of work,

Even if it's very rewarding and transformative,

If you're getting a lot of these higher benefits like contribution and all that stuff in your life,

It's easy to slip into kind of just the doing part of it.

Okay,

I'm just a DJ.

I'm here to just play the music,

Get some money,

And let me leave in this case.

So we all have days like that.

Sometimes you're tired,

Sometimes whatever it is,

Other things are going on in your life.

How do you distinguish between moments that are transformative and the parts of what you do that are just the mundane?

What makes them transformative?

You touched on a few of them.

You know when people come up to you and say,

Oh my God,

Thank you for playing my favorite song,

That was awesome,

Or thank you for making my wedding so awesome.

Those things really made it transformative.

What are some of the things that make those moments different than just a regular,

Okay I'm playing music and it's just this function that you're at?

What makes it special?

I think that comes down to the how of everything because there's a lot of it which is extremely mundane.

I go to an event,

I have to be there an hour and a half early,

I scope out the place,

I park my car,

Unload the boxes,

Set up the speakers,

Wrap up the wires,

Put up the different cables,

Find the audio,

Tape down my audio cables so nobody trips over it,

Got to worry about all your different hazards,

Might be in the way so nobody trips.

I've got to make sure the speakers are set up,

I have to make sure they're the right volume so there's no volume ordinances that I have to mess with or that aren't going to work out.

There's probably a checklist of anywhere between 30 to 50 things that I have to make sure that are going along.

Now am I like woohoo,

Hey,

How many times have I done this?

How many times have I taken that?

All right,

Time to prep my cords again.

Exactly,

Yeah,

You know what,

Hey,

That cord is getting dirty,

Let's clean this cord up.

You just transformed your cord right there.

Man,

Seriously,

So there's a lot of stuff that I have to go through every single time in that at this point,

If I think about it,

It's like I've done thousands of times.

Thousands of times that I've got to a place and set up and sometimes I'll DJ at the same venue multiple times and I'm like all right,

Here we go again.

Here it is,

All right,

Well let me plug it.

You know what,

I can't stand this place because I have no space to set up my other speaker and they expect me to have a loud setup and this and this and this and this and this.

So there's all these little kind of expectations that can develop and I think just like any other area of my life,

When you develop those expectations,

Then your experience of it isn't as fun.

It's like all right,

Here we go again.

Well,

This is going to be a long gig and I remember these guys,

This is kind of- Yeah,

You start getting cynical about it.

Yeah,

And you think,

Oh,

Well,

You know what,

This gig really isn't even paying that much.

Let me just take it easy and just hang out because I've been here so many times and I always play the same set.

It's not like they want anything new and exciting so people are just here to be here and I do have events like that where I am just playing music and they want it to be more of a background thing.

They don't want this big celebration experience.

It's like,

Oh,

Well,

Those are the parties I love to DJ.

So when I don't get to DJ those all the time,

I'm like,

Well,

Screw you guys and I'm going to play something.

So I definitely have those days where I go back and forth in the type of energy that I bring.

But what makes it each experience or let me put it this way,

How I can frame everything that I do to be transformative is my intention.

So I DJed a big food truck festival a couple of weeks back and in my setting up of my speakers,

I think,

Okay,

How are the most people going to be able to enjoy this music and set it up?

And it was kind of a funky setup.

But in the technical aspect of me just setting up my speakers and what I would be doing normally,

All the chords and electrical aspects of setting everything up and making sure it works properly,

In that I was already thinking about what's the experience I'm going to create for that day.

Intense setting.

Yeah.

So I really set an intention for how I want people to experience the music for this day.

And that in itself was number one,

Gave me a challenge.

Number two,

Gave me the satisfaction after I completed it of knowing,

Okay,

You know what,

This is going to sound really nice.

It's going to sound great for this day.

Like I could set it up one way where I just set it up and leave it and it would work.

And I would just get through it.

And I would just,

You know,

Nothing would necessarily bad would come out of it,

But I would get it done.

But it didn't have any intention.

It would just me be doing the job.

So doing the job as a DJ is just setting up and playing music.

There's nothing outside of that if you're just doing the job.

Yeah,

It really has to come from inside.

What is your intent?

Why are you doing what you're doing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So if I look at why am I setting up the speakers this way?

Why am I playing these special songs?

You know,

Like I'll take a moment to think,

Okay,

What kind of stuff can I play at this big outdoor event where I don't know anybody and it's not a wedding.

It's not family and friends to think,

Okay,

What would be something that makes somebody smile or makes those two little kids over there dance and then their mom and the two boys dance together and they have fun with it.

And I get to see them just dancing for a moment and mom and dad are filming on their phone saying oh my gosh,

It's so cute.

They're dancing in front of the DJ booth and stuff like that,

Like all that kind of stuff that gave them an experience and a memory to think,

Oh yes.

And somebody says,

Oh,

Well,

Can you play this song?

My son really likes this song from the movie trolls.

I'm like,

Sure,

Why not?

You know,

Let me go find the song,

Play it.

And now their whole family's out there dancing.

So it's really,

I think,

Number one,

Setting an intention.

And number two,

Being open to having any experiences being transformative.

Being open to saying like,

What can I really give in this moment?

What can I really give to this moment?

And I think for me,

Transformation almost always occurs in what you give or what you give up.

It's like I can give up my idea that this is another mundane DJ gig or I can give something to another person in how I DJ.

Oh,

That's a really well said.

So what it basically comes down to is focusing on giving.

Yeah.

It's what are you giving or what are you giving up?

Because a lot of times it's like we're so stuck and attached to something not working out or something not being fun or something being lame and boring and not satisfying.

And you could do that in any job.

You could say,

You know what?

This really isn't fulfilling any of my needs whatsoever.

And if you tell yourself that all the time,

You're going to live up to your own story.

If I give that up and be open to something being transformative and I set an intention for that day or that week or that month or that year,

I can create that any time.

So you know,

And granted,

I don't always live that way for sure.

There's certain times where I have like weeks where I'm like,

Man,

What am I doing?

Why?

What's the point?

Like this isn't that fun.

You're not getting paid that much.

You know,

You think about all the little things that aren't working.

It's so easy.

Yeah,

The details are always biting at you.

Yeah.

You have to keep refreshing that intent.

And that's when you like start looking at the details when things aren't working all the time.

It's not like,

Okay,

This isn't working for me.

This isn't working for me.

And then all of a sudden you have this pile that's just like built up.

But if I can say,

Let me give all that up.

Let me just say,

Huh,

What do I want to create right now rather than what's not working?

Right.

And that's really the key.

And you and I have had so many conversations about this in life.

It comes down to what do you want to create?

Yeah.

Instead of asking what's not working,

What isn't going to work for me,

How this isn't going that well,

Say,

Hey,

Forget all that because that's going to be there anyways.

What do you want to create?

Regardless of that,

No matter what,

What do you want to create in any situation?

What do you want to create in your job today?

You want to create more income?

Create that.

Yeah.

And to your point,

Once you decide that,

What do you want to give to create that?

Or what do you want to give up to create that?

Yeah.

It's a good one.

It's like,

It's pretty simple.

And I have found that that is the most satisfactory way of doing things.

And I don't have to call it transformation.

It's just,

It feels good.

It just,

And it works.

And it's a pretty consistent method and model for just,

You know,

Getting off your own BS,

Which I like to say,

You know.

Getting out of your program,

You know,

It's like you're just reactive to everything.

And I think the mundane is when we don't have any sense of authorship in,

Excuse me,

In the actions that we do.

Being mundane is like,

If you think about,

Let's say you're going to a DJ gig and you're stuck in the details.

Oh,

I'm not getting paid.

Oh,

I hate the stage.

You're really just going through the motions.

We even say that.

You know,

Basically you're reacting to the surroundings.

And there's no pleasure in that.

There's pleasure when you stop,

When you regroup,

When you take an intent about what you want to produce.

And you know,

The circumstances will still be there to some extent.

But by you taking the reins a little bit and having some intent for that evening and giving something and deciding what to give or deciding what to give up,

You get out of that momentum,

Momentum of the situation,

Which pulls you.

I think there's a natural pull,

You know,

There's just this natural pull towards,

You know,

Getting overwhelmed by details and becoming cynical.

I mean,

You see that as an average human condition.

So I think setting an intent and focusing on what you can give or give up is key.

That's really well said.

Yeah.

And I would say on top of that,

You know,

While you're speaking,

It brought up one challenge that I actually see and I face.

You know,

Even talking about the field of DJing,

You know,

People.

.

.

That's perfect because that was my next question.

Oh,

Good.

What was the biggest thing that you had to transform or an obstacle or habit,

A relationship?

Like what was the challenge that you have?

So yeah,

So,

You know,

I'd say one of the major downsides to DJing is if you really are doing it often,

Your schedule is all over the place and where you have to be is all over the place,

Which means you're not very tied down to your relationships right now.

So I can't tell you how many fun events or even friends weddings that I've missed because I've already had a gig booked for a DJ event.

And I've had a few times where like they said,

Hey,

You're going to come out.

You're going to come to my thing on Friday.

And I said,

Oh,

Shoot,

You know,

I got a DJ gig.

It's like,

All right,

Well,

Actually next month I have it on Friday too.

Like,

Do you want to come to that?

And I'm like,

I'm sorry.

Like I'm booked.

So literally I have to turn down a lot of,

You know,

Relationship building with my friends and family and coworkers and stuff that are happening that I miss out on a lot.

So that's been kind of hard,

You know?

So for me,

It's been about finding balance and it makes me value the time that I do spend with my friends,

The time that I value that.

Yeah,

Sure,

People like,

Oh,

Well,

Yeah,

You're working,

But you're just DJing.

So you're just,

You're just partying all the time.

It's like,

Okay,

Well,

Yeah,

Sure.

Like you could look at it that way or you could look at it as I'm working and this is the way that I,

That I earned my income.

Yeah,

I enjoy doing it.

And,

And some people,

You're a man of the night.

Some people,

You know,

Exactly.

But the funny thing is some people get mad that you enjoy your fun job.

Oh yeah,

Sure.

Some people are like,

Oh,

Well,

Yeah,

It's easy.

It's easy to talk about transformation because you're just a DJ and you're just having fun and partying.

It's like,

Oh,

Okay,

Well,

Thank you.

But in a way you get where they're coming from.

Right.

Yeah.

Well,

They're in already such a bogged down by those details.

That's for everybody.

You know,

The details,

Whether the details in DJing or the details at your bank job,

The details are details.

At least with something that is lighting up your heart,

You have a chance to get out of that wave.

Yeah,

And not only that,

But I think there's this,

Sometimes people have a baseline level of cynicism about that kind of stuff.

It's like,

Well,

Maybe when you get a real job,

You can talk to me about transformation and finding transformation in your job.

But what I say to refute that is actually I've just learned how to live a life that I love from the beginning.

Like ultimately creating what I've been doing from the beginning.

That's always been my intention is to say,

Let me contribute to what I'm good at and give up what I'm not good at.

Or what's bringing me down.

Having the courage to pursue what you really enjoy.

And that's exactly what has brought me into this field altogether.

And I get to enjoy it.

So it's like,

Sorry,

You're not doing that in your life and you're not fulfilled by whatever your passion is.

But this is something that has really been awesome for me.

So going back to the relationships and how that's been challenging,

It really has allowed me to focus on connecting and fully connecting in the time that I do have.

Let's say,

For example,

If I have a rare Saturday night off and it's like,

Okay,

I can finally go do something with my friends and not have to have necessarily a DJ gig.

Not that I'm complaining,

But it's nice to have something where you're like,

Hey,

Wow,

I don't have any plans on Saturday night because almost every Saturday I have something booked and everybody usually does their fun stuff on those Saturdays.

So it allows me to fully experience and immerse myself in enjoying those.

And really it has allowed me to value creating friendships.

Being able to say,

Okay,

I know my schedule,

But I still want to spend time with my friends.

So I reach out to them and say,

Hey,

Let's go get coffee during the week.

Being more proactive about your connections.

So I'm constantly saying,

Let's go get coffee.

Let's do something on a weekday afternoon if you're available or let's go catch a movie here and there,

Because that gives me that sense of balance.

So where I was disbalanced in my schedule and not being able to have these free evenings and weekends and sometimes going from gig to gig to gig and waking up and working and going to another gig.

I've had those days where I've just constantly drained and doing events,

Even though they're fun events,

They're high energy.

And because they're high energy,

They drain me as well.

They don't allow me to give myself fully to my relationships all the time.

So it's brought this level of awareness of balance.

Yeah.

Cool.

Well,

You know,

We're coming up on the end of this interview and a lot of good insights here.

One of the main reasons why I decided to create this type of interview and ask people what their perspective on transformation in their life is,

Is for exactly the reason that we've been talking about that it's this everyday thing.

To me,

It is something that belongs in everyday conversation.

You can talk about it.

You can talk about these types of things like creating a life you love and getting out of cynical mode,

Getting back to contribution.

These things are,

To me,

A regular conversation in a transformed life,

In a life that's fully lived out.

Doesn't mean that you're always going to be happy and content,

But having these things available as a regular,

You know,

Regular words is really important because I think it makes it more accessible.

You know,

I often joke when I was looking for the categories for this podcast on iTunes,

On Spotify,

You know,

They give you categories that you can slot stuff under and I'm like,

Okay,

You know,

What is,

What is this under?

Is it under self-help?

I'm like,

I don't really want to put self-help.

It sounds like a psychology book or something,

But they had no category for transformation.

You know,

Transformation,

Imagine if they had that.

It's like some frou-frou word to most people,

But does it have to be?

So my question to you is,

What would the impact be or,

You know,

If you agree,

If not,

Of this being something that it can be every day,

That it can be seen as an everyday thing,

You know?

Yeah,

I mean,

It totally can.

I think it's just a matter of flipping on the switch for people.

People need to be aware that it's possible in your everyday life and that's it.

So first starts the idea of it.

So if somebody is saying,

You know what,

I hate my life,

I hate my job.

There's probably no transformation happening there,

Or at least it doesn't occur that way to them.

Right,

Right.

Then you say,

How about this?

What's one thing that you really want to create in your life that excites you right now?

And if they can come up with something,

Focus forward.

Yeah,

If they can come up with something in that moment,

Now they're actually focusing on an area of their life that they're either going to give up or contribute to.

They're going to do something or they're not.

But if they don't,

That's the indicator of,

I don't want to live a transformed life.

So even bringing up the idea as a possibility for somebody and saying,

What's that one thing?

Asking that key question.

Like it's all about,

That can stimulate,

That can be the seed.

Yeah,

I think for us as human beings in general,

We're all just trying to answer questions.

We're trying to answer questions about ourselves,

About others,

About why we're here,

What we're doing,

Are we doing the right thing?

All that kind of stuff,

Which are unanswerable,

But that's a whole other podcast in itself.

That's a whole other podcast.

But if you make it specific for somebody and just say,

What is that thing that you want to create right now?

What is it that you want to bring into your life?

And then from there you start offering solutions.

You start offering possibilities as to what can happen in somebody's life.

And then it's like,

Huh,

Okay.

Now their experience of life is transformed just by bringing that awareness into people's lives.

So the more people that can hear stuff like this podcast and just hear regular everyday examples of the melting pot,

What is America?

And then you can say,

Huh,

Well,

If it's possible for these other people living from all walks of backgrounds in life,

Then it may be possible for me.

It may be possible for me to live a transformed life.

But first it comes from information.

You don't know until you know,

Right?

Like open the mind.

Yeah,

You don't.

It's outside of your realm of awareness until somebody looks at you and says,

Yeah,

So what do you want to create in your life?

It's like what?

Yeah,

How many times have you and I like ask people that?

And it's like,

Well,

Like a whole different language.

It is like who,

Who?

Well,

It's interesting.

I was talking to,

I had Joey on this show and we were talking about how even just seeing the mundane that you do differently,

Having it occur differently to you,

Like you said,

A different information.

Like you could be making your bed in the morning and that's a chore or I just transformed my sleeping space and now I transform my day because I got a head start on it.

You know,

So seeing transformation not only is something that happens,

But it's a tool that you can use to lead you to a happier day,

More motivation,

More impetus for risk,

You know,

Those kinds of things.

Yeah,

Ultimately more fulfilling.

Even something as simple as making your bed for the day,

It's like,

All right,

I got that done.

Yeah,

It's like that.

That feels nice.

It feels nice to have some sense of progress.

That's it.

You create your own sense of progress because nobody's going to say you've improved other than you.

Yeah.

So you say,

All right,

What's going to make this day,

This moment more meaningful.

What's going to make the next hour more meaningful.

And you can apply that to anything you're doing.

After this,

I'm going to go and I'm going to drive to work and I'm going to say,

All right,

What can I do to make this drive more meaningful?

I can put on certain music.

I can say,

Put on some of my favorite stuff.

I sent you a song this morning and I was like,

Oh,

This is the song rage against the machine.

Oh,

Classic.

But instantly you probably had an experience of like,

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Immediately they took me back to my little red two door Acura Integra 1991.

This is my first car.

I love that little car.

Wow.

16 years old.

It was like low to the ground back when gas was like 91 cents a gallon.

There you go.

That's how you know.

Corn and rage against the machine in that car.

Good times.

Well,

All right,

One more question.

Pretty much I just wanted to ask you,

What was your fortune cookie from all these experiences,

Being a DJ and all these things that we talked about?

You know,

Obviously the more you do something and especially in the realm of transforming others,

Contributing to them,

All these kinds of things,

They give you life lessons that you start to see,

Like you said,

In other parts of your life.

So what,

What have,

What life lessons have you gained from these experiences being a DJ and contributing to others moments in their time that you can pass on?

I would say number one is the importance of fun.

The importance of play.

Like I get to see those moments that people save up time and money for.

Like people say,

Okay,

You know what?

I've been planning this fun time,

Like for the last three months.

And I haven't had fun the last three months.

And this is the night I'm having fun because it's my birthday or it's my wedding or it's my graduation thing or it's my holiday party.

And listen,

We've worked and had not a lot of fun,

But we're saving up for this day and we're going to have fun and we're going to get crazy.

Right?

And I feel like that's an element that people need to incorporate into every week,

Every day if you can.

Something fun,

Like something just something as simple as like my family did when I was a kid,

You hear a song,

Let's just blast it on the radio.

Just like turn it up,

Dance in the car a little bit,

Sing to it,

Let yourself go,

Let yourself enjoy those five minutes that the song is playing.

So and that gives you again,

An experience of life,

Experience of nostalgia,

An experience of enjoyment and that already puts you in a completely different space to deal with your day.

So more fun,

More play in everything that you do.

And you'll definitely feel a balanced life for sure.

Well that's a good one man.

Well last little thing here,

Where can they find you?

DJ Embrace.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

DJ Embrace on Facebook.

So I post a lot of different events,

You guys can add me,

That's going to be the best way.

I love doing different remixes right now,

I'm remissing Specialized in a Brazilian Zuke Dancing Remixes.

If you don't know what that is,

Check it out on YouTube.

Pretty cool stuff.

DJ Embrace,

Zuke,

Z-O-U-K and it's Embrace with an M,

Like M-B-R-A-C-E.

So I would love to have you guys as followers on Facebook and I would love for you to check out some of the music and thanks for having me man.

Yeah,

Thanks man,

It's been awesome.

Alright guys,

Well there you have it.

Thank you so much for tuning in.

This was 7 Transformations Podcast with my best buddy here,

DJ Embrace.

Check him out,

He's got some awesome stuff.

We'll see you guys pretty soon.

Yeah.

You're listening to the 7 Transformations Podcast with your host,

Tudor Alexander.

For weekly articles on creating a life you love,

Stay connected at the7transformations.

Com.

Reviews

I loved this show… So powerful to realize that transformation can come in many different settings and that it is the intention that is vital.

How do you spell your Dj name again? Good talk. TY guys! 😁

A great, straightforward conversation that completely reminded me how my expectations define my experience- and influence the experience of others. Thank you both. You transformed my day.

Very intetesting .... and applicable to diferent lifestyles.some great pointers for happiness and how it doesn't have to be the huge stuff that transforms your life. Thank you.