Welcome to Compassion-Based Self-Empathy.
Compassion-based empathy rests on the assumption that everything we think,
Say,
Or do is an expression of a beautiful and universal need that we all share and can connect to,
No matter what.
While it may be important to objectively evaluate whether strategies are meeting needs effectively or not,
It can also be very powerful and heart-opening to temporarily suspend this evaluation and simply focus on connecting to the humanity that's arising inside of ourselves and another person.
With just a minute or so of prioritizing deeper connection,
We can allow more effective strategies to emerge out of this more compassionate understanding of what's alive.
Training our attention to shift our focus from thoughts,
Which usually aren't even ours or the other person's to begin with and are merely just accumulations of ideas based on influences from our past,
Shifting from those accumulations of thoughts into the human needs,
And beautiful precious life-giving needs underneath,
Can be deeply liberating and create connection where before there may have been distance.
What this means is that empathy allows us to realize the interdependence and deeper connection that is our natural state of being.
As we shift our identity from the thoughts and the feelings that are moving through the body to the needs underneath,
We begin to see that all of us are simply consciousness with life moving through,
And that I have the privilege of having my experience of consciousness here and you have the privilege of experiencing your consciousness there,
But we are equally life moving through consciousness.
And any thought of separation is not nearly as powerful as this fundamental truth that we are all life moving through consciousness.
Begin now by resting in whatever arising is happening for you right now.
If there's any thoughts arising,
Let them just be.
If there's any emotions moving,
Let them move.
If there's any feeling of stuckness or tension,
Just let it be.
Anything that's arising,
Letting it flow,
Welcoming it completely without resistance,
Welcoming even resistance without resistance.
Navigate to what's flowing through now.
Allow yourself a few deep breaths now,
Rooting in presence and allowing all this richness of life that you are to flow.
If there's a particular thought or sensation or emotion that you'd like to empathize with,
Let it arise.
Is there any body sensation associated with this?
Is it a kind of tension or a release?
Or is it in the body?
Notice the sensation and simply welcome it.
Allow it to be an aspect of your experience.
Now allowing yourself another deep,
Beautiful breath.
What's arising at the thought level associated with this?
Try to identify a single thought.
What is the thought?
Now this thought is just a piece of life moving through consciousness.
As you bring more awareness to this thought,
It will very naturally change form into higher expressions.
So just begin to notice what are the feelings that are associated with this thought?
Are there any feelings of frustration or irritation or perhaps peace?
What are the emotions that are associated with this particular thought in this moment for you?
Now underneath each of these feelings,
Is one or more precious,
Beautiful needs,
Which are simply just life moving through.
It's just the way that your values and priorities and what's important to you is expressed.
What's beautiful about needs is that they are the essence level of what we want.
They are never a particular person,
A particular place,
A particular time,
Or a particular thing.
They are always the essence of what these things bring us.
So if someone says a compliment to us,
This may meet our need for being appreciated.
But the need is appreciation.
The strategy to meet that need was met by a particular person saying a particular thing,
But the need really could have been met in thousands of different ways.
When we connect with what's alive at the need level,
We open up to this greater capacity to meet these needs in many ways.
I'll now list a large number of needs and just make note if any of them resonate.
And if they don't resonate,
That's okay too.
You get clarity either way.
Do the feelings and thoughts that are arising in this moment express any needs around freedom or autonomy?
A sense of aliveness or passion or celebration?
Humor or fun?
Is it more a kind of interdependent need around belonging,
Acceptance,
Love,
Empathy or respect?
Mutuality?
Are there physical needs that want to be met?
Around nature connection,
Sunlight,
Sexual expression,
Touch,
Closeness?
Maybe needs around connection like cooperation or inclusion,
Consideration,
Companionship?
Or perhaps mental needs like stimulation,
Understanding,
Comprehension or increasing your awareness?
Are the needs closer to wanting competency,
Understanding,
Meaning,
Creativity or more discovery,
Effectiveness,
Growth or hope?
Or is it more like wanting self-expression or purpose?
Is there a belonging to grieve or to matter?
Turn your attention now fully to the word or combination of words that resonates most deeply for you.
What needs resonated most deeply for you?
If thoughts arise,
Keep turning your attention back to the need level of awareness,
Back to the essence of this longing of life moving through.
Get to know these needs better.
What do they feel like?
What is it like inhabiting the energy of these needs?
Does anything shift for you when you connect at the need level versus the thought level versus the emotion level?
What's the difference?
What's the difference?
To make this shift easier for yourself,
Practice going back and forth from thoughts to needs and from needs to thoughts,
Noticing with openness and curiosity how it feels in your body when you're thinking versus how it feels in your body when you're connecting at the need level.
Shift back and forth now between the thoughts that were arising and the needs that were underneath those thoughts,
And then back to the thoughts that were arising and then the needs that are underneath them.
Do this now.
As you connect to the essence of what's alive for you,
You find many,
Many strategies to meet those needs and loosen attachment to the one or two that arose simply due to happenstance and memory and habit,
Allowing new opportunities to arise.
You also cultivate an awareness of this deeper,
More universal current of energy that's running through all of us,
And this allows a kind of space,
A contentedness,
A non-urgency,
A non-attachment to arise,
Because whatever anyone is experiencing is simply this life moving through consciousness,
And we can connect to that no matter what is happening.
Thank you for joining me in this practice,
And I send you blessings on your day.
