Overcoming Judgment - Talk + 3-Minute Practice

Meditation is all about being connected to what is going on without negativities and obsessive focuses. It is also about deep mindful attention and letting go of concerns and judgments. Tony Samara suggests that we ask ourselves one question daily and with a short meditation allows us to actively remember how to immerse in a profound state of awareness and thus overcome our tendencies to judge ourselves and others.

Thank you for choosing one of Tony Samara's meditational tracks today.

Transcript

Always first Vigorous L E M E C S M M S H N When you are ready,

Just coming back to stillness,

Coming back to sense of connection with your body,

A sense of connection with the energy that is around you,

This is what is known as meditation.

Meditation is a type of awareness that allows you to be connected to what is going on without creating a very negative perception about what is going on.

One of those negative perceptions could be self-judgment,

Which I will look at in a moment,

Just so that we understand part of the process of being aware,

Is being aware of what is going on from connection rather than perception.

Perception is important,

Of course,

Because that is part of just surviving in the world,

But creating an awareness that is gentle,

Mindful and connected allows you to go deeper into meditation.

And meditation is a state of consciousness that doesn't really need the mundane perception to sort of sabotage the flow that happens when you are in this deep state of consciousness that is meditation.

What meditation needs is this mindful attention,

This awareness that happens quite naturally when you let go of the mundane,

When you let go of the stress and worry or the obsessive sort of focus that the mind can get caught up in when focusing on specific aspects of the mundane.

That is part of life,

But in meditation,

This obsessive sort of behavior that the mind finds comfortable just because it is the way that the mind functions is not really useful because it just creates a lot of stress and meditation is meant to be relaxing rather than stressful.

So if you find that you're focused on this and that and everything,

And in your meditation you can't relax because your mind is just too active or too busy or too caught up in the stress of the situation and there is tension and concern,

Then remind yourself that awareness is not about being aware of everything.

It's more an awareness that allows you to monitor what is going on.

So it's almost like you're watching your progress and your connection and communication and asking yourself within that level of awareness where you're sort of connected and deeply in communication with what is going on,

Asking yourself,

How am I doing within this state of awareness?

So that question then allows you to be present to what is really important because when you ask yourself this question,

Then if you notice that you're just drifting into a thought or drifting into a worry or drifting into some sort of stress that the mind gets attached to,

And you ask yourself,

How am I doing?

Then you're asking yourself,

What is the intention behind your focus?

What is driving your focus?

What is allowing you to create this momentum where you embrace this deeper state of consciousness from a very conscious perspective rather than just from the perspective that the mind very often tricks you into,

Which is concern and worry and stress about all the problems that you can think of in your meditation.

And this is what many people do.

They just get so overwhelmed or so busy with all the problems,

With all the situations that there is simply no time to be present.

Being present is a state of consciousness that requires awareness and a state of freedom where intention can help you focus the energy so that you're relaxed in your awareness and you can just allow yourself to move with the flow,

This connection that happens to the deeper state of consciousness.

And that is a flow.

And one of the things that you may sort of become aware of as you move deeper into meditation as your practice becomes more profound is that a lot of what creates this stress and a lot of what creates this anxiety,

The focus on problems and all the problems,

Especially when you're sitting in meditation,

You have time to focus on all these negatives,

Is the fact that one of the most powerful driving forces that allows for such a situation to develop is self-judgment.

So when you move to a deeper state of consciousness and connect to the flow,

Very often you'll realize that the flow is blocked or impeded by this sort of energy of self-judgment,

Which is not just mental,

It's not just emotional,

But it's also energetic.

And this energy can very often get caught within the nervous system,

Within the energy points within the spine that then prevent this natural flow.

And then meditation becomes an exercise of negativity rather than a letting go into the positivity.

And the negativity could be driven,

Sort of held together or driven by this sort of picture of self-judgment that's created within the mind,

Within the nervous system,

Within the emotional body,

Within even the physical body.

Self-judgment is a universal human experience.

So it's not that you need to judge yourself for having self-judgment.

Just know that this is a very powerful aspect of ourselves,

Just like fear is in built into our evolution.

Self-judgment is a universal human experience that can be useful.

But when it's used in this way where self-judgment becomes part of your meditation or part of your thinking or part of your feeling,

Then it's not really helpful.

So if you're focusing on judgment in your meditation,

Am I doing this right?

Or am I able to concentrate in the right way?

Or am I coming back to my wholeness?

Or am I coming back to a movement within the meditation that helps me to flow?

Or am I just stuck?

When you begin to even think in this way,

The judging mind may be excited and will sort of disguise itself in all sorts of things that you are discovering in your meditation.

So self-judgment isn't as obvious as a black and white scenario where you're just sort of really judging yourself in a very negative way.

Very often it's disguised within your meditation.

And you're focusing on negative questions.

So you're asking yourself questions,

Which really imply that you're not flowing in a positive way.

So when you're asking yourself,

Am I whole?

Am I doing this right?

Am I really meditating?

All these sort of questions very often come from self-judgment.

So the judging mind may disguise itself as an objective observer or as the spiritual sort of energy or coach in the background that is helping you to move forward to some internalized ideal.

But actually meditation is not about creating ideals.

So if that is what is sort of creating the momentum in your meditation,

Then you're again falling into this sort of inner sabotage that the mind is so very clever at creating on so many levels.

So the judging mind can hide just like a virus,

Can hide behind all sorts of interesting scenarios.

And this is why meditation requires a little bit of time,

A little bit of patience,

But a lot of focus.

Because when you begin to focus energy in a very specific way,

You're focusing energy so that energy moves to that space that you're focusing on.

So for example,

You're focusing on letting go,

Relaxing the body.

And the tension that's holding the situation of self-judgment together just cannot exist when the energy is flowing in this way where you're letting go of tension,

You're letting go of the tension within your thoughts,

Letting go of the tension within your emotional body.

Because really,

Wholeness is the flow.

Healing is the flow that happens when you begin to concentrate on something more than just the mental perspective that the judging mind creates either as real self-judgment,

Oh I'm not good enough or I'm really not able to understand anything that Tony is saying,

Or if the mind is disguising itself as an objective observer or a spiritual sort of coach and always running after this sort of internalized ideal which many of us have,

Especially when we begin to sort of go deeper into spirituality,

We have this picture in our mind.

If I only was like the Buddha,

Then everything,

I would be totally calm,

Everything would be perfect.

I remember someone saying if I was just enlightened,

Then everything I would be sitting on my couch and just having my cup of tea and enjoying whatever is going on around me.

It's interesting because these sort of ideals aren't just part of the new age or part of the new spiritual tradition,

But also have been part of religious dogma,

Whether one was a Christian or Muslim or Jewish or Hindu or whatever.

There was always this idealized picture that wasn't as real as what the heart can feel when there is no self-judgment.

The heart can feel so much.

So when you begin to compare,

Then you're not in your heart.

When you begin to sort of create an internalized ideal that is pulling you towards comparison,

Then you're not in your heart.

And this sort of separation from within the heart space of flow or a heart space where you're in a deep state of meditation and consciousness,

When you're separate from this,

This creates all sorts of difficulties in meditation.

And one of them is self-judgment.

When you're separate from your heart,

Then that's when you begin to find it more easy to judge yourself and find it more easy to judge others.

And of course,

That's also partly a judgment.

When you're judging others,

You're partly judging yourself on some deep level.

So there is no need to compare yourself with Buddha or compare yourself with the internalized ideal or compare yourself with anything that creates self-judgment.

I'm not good enough.

I'm whatever negative perspective that the mind then latches onto because you are not those things.

You're not the mind.

You're not the body.

You're not the emotional body.

You're so much more.

And when you listen to the voice of judgment and sort of connect to that,

Then that's where energy goes.

Energy goes wherever you focus your energy.

So when you begin to focus on judgment,

Whether you're aware of it or not,

That creates a whole momentum that is in itself very self-destructive and destructive to the inner practice of meditation.

So what can we do?

Well,

What does that voice of judgment sound like?

You can ask yourself a positive question that is coming from a perspective of curiosity rather than from this internalized ideal and judging yourself in this negative way.

So when you ask yourself,

You know,

What is the voice?

Is the voice,

You know,

The voice of a little child that,

You know,

Got caught in some negative perspective and so has this tone and energy and way of communicating that sort of is there in the subconscious,

But becomes very obvious in the way I do things as an adult.

You can ask yourself these deeper questions and leave the question to sort of sort itself out.

So it's not that you're intellectualizing or conceptualizing about this sensation of judgment within yourself.

You're just waiting for consciousness to help the flow to connect you to the deeper essence of what is going on.

So you can also look at not just the sound,

But also the energy that's within the question.

How are you treating yourself?

Are you nurturing yourself or are you giving yourself a hard time?

So many people will,

You know,

As part of self judgment,

Be self critical,

Which is good on some level,

Of course,

To be a little bit self critical,

You know,

So that you know what to do when things don't function or don't turn out in the way that you want them to.

But when there is too much self judgment and self criticism,

Then of course,

That is the energy that you're caught up in.

So look at this energy within you,

But also look at this energy around you.

Say friends or parents or your boss or people within a constellation that you find yourself spending lots of time within.

You know,

What is the energy that's being communicated within these constellations?

Are you trying to push parts of your experience away because they are perhaps negative,

And you see that negativity or it's reinforced within those constellations.

So you push them away by internalizing that criticism,

Say,

The criticism of your boss or the criticism that is implied in certain communication.

Are you internalizing that so that,

You know,

It's easy,

That's a running away from a situation,

You know,

When you internalize situation,

Oh,

It's all within me,

You know,

You're not really connecting to what's going on around you,

Because what's going on around you,

That's our social consciousness.

And it's really important to be focused on freedom rather than self criticism or self judgment within the social consciousness.

So,

You know,

You may be noticing yourself in life,

As people judge you or as you judge yourself,

When you see those people,

Maybe judging your intelligence,

Judging your body,

Judging your social skills,

Judging your ego,

Judging the way that you do things,

The way that you say things,

The way that,

Whatever,

You know,

This judgment is very interesting to look at.

And this is what I would recommend for everyone to do,

To look at judgment,

Not as a terrible thing,

Because it's not as difficult as fear,

Even though of course,

It's an issue that we need to work with.

But rather from a curious perspective,

What is judgment?

How can I work with it,

So I begin to welcome the energy that is positive,

Rather than the negative energy that is within the judgment.

So,

You know,

When you free yourself from judgment,

There is a positive energy that's just around the corner from within the energy of judgment.

So,

If you sort of can step back and create perspective,

Then the judgment in itself is not so negative,

Because it doesn't pull you down to this part of yourself,

Where you are putting yourself in a little box,

And then sort of creating energy around that box so that that box is not able to move within the infinity of possibilities that exist when you see self judgment as you would see your thoughts,

You know,

When you stand back and look at what's going on,

Say in a family constellation,

Or when you stand back and see what's going on,

For example,

With your boss,

You're able to create perspective,

And you're able to create sense of freedom where you see what's going on.

And perhaps you realize that part of the constellation is that you're doing certain things that create this self judgment situation that perhaps you're idealizing certain situations in a way that doesn't create a natural flow,

Because we're all part of symbiosis,

We're all interdependent,

We're all part of this greatness that is life.

And when we begin to separate ourselves and put ourselves in a box and categorize those boxes as good and bad and create this dualism that creates more separation,

Then this is where the judging mind finds it very interesting.

Because the judging mind then begins to think,

Yes,

I'm in control here.

And I'm able to,

You know,

Create this situation,

I'm unlovable,

Or I'm not good enough,

Or I'm this or I am that,

That little box that's been created,

Then becomes really a core and a sort of driving force within your meditation,

Of course,

And also within your life,

And the way that you communicate and do things in your life.

So self judgment can be a stepping stone that helps you to move to a higher state of consciousness,

When you're able to step back and create perspective,

So that there is no comparison,

There is no judgment,

Because that is what creates negativity.

But rather,

There is an understanding,

There is a sense of wisdom from the freedom that's created,

And an expression that allows you not to be compared,

Or not to compare yourself to other things,

But,

But to rather gain some distance from that which is being created by the mind as gospel,

You know,

This is what's really,

This is my truth,

You know how it is when,

You know,

What happens when you fall asleep,

Or when you're in deep meditation,

You go deeply into something,

Your mind is saying,

Yes,

You're not good enough,

You're not good enough,

Then there's this script that keeps repeating itself in the background.

And then you're so caught in that,

All the energy sort of sinks down rather than elevates to a higher state of consciousness,

You sink into the worry and you sink into the heaviness.

You know,

When,

When you realize that you can distance yourself from the self judgment in the same way as you can distance yourself from the thoughts.

It's not that you're separating and pushing them aside or believing that,

Okay,

When I'm Buddha,

All this will stop or when I'm enlightened,

All this will stop,

But rather,

You're being proactive and real in your meditational practice and self development.

And you're stepping a little bit outside of the scenario and seeing the energy flow,

Seeing what's going on.

Very often when we see how things are,

There is a revelation as we elevate to a higher state of consciousness.

There is a revelation where we see what we're doing,

That sometimes helps to create these situations in the first place.

It's such a complex yet wonderful space of inner growth.

When you sit in meditation and you allow for the focus to come back to the reality of what's happening,

Rather than be caught up in thinking and feeling,

And then so very lost in that thinking and feeling that you're energizing just the reactive process that happens around you.

So you're reacting to situations rather than sitting still in meditation to see what is really,

What's happening,

What's happening here beyond this sort of internal reaction to myself,

One being self judgment,

Another being fear,

Which we have spoken about many times.

So when this becomes clear and sitting in stillness as we will do now becomes such a beautiful practice,

We realize that we're empowering our consciousness to step outside of the lower levels of consciousness that the mind can get caught up in anger,

Frustration,

Negativity,

Judgment,

All those things become just part of the theater that's being played out.

But we are observing,

We're watching,

We're aware,

We're present to consciousness rather than present,

Present to the self judgment or whatever else the negativity is.

So you can do this right now.

First you have to believe that it's possible,

Not by creating this internalized image of I'm Buddha or I'm on my way to enlightenment and all my problems will go away,

But being real.

I'm here present to my breath,

Breathing into the abdomen,

Deep full breath and relaxing the tension in my body,

Relaxing the tension within as I breathe,

Breathing more deeply and as I breathe out,

Letting go.

And as you do this,

Just notice how the body relaxes and how the mind comes back to a state of presence and within presence there is a flow.

Just notice how energy is flowing.

Just notice as you breathe in and breathe out,

How energy is flowing through your body and how the stillness that you're creating just helps you to relax into this moment.

Deep breath.

Sometimes it's easier to place your left hand on the solar plexus belly area and your right hand on the heart area and you just sort of,

You're sending a message for your body to relax and to be very present to the stillness within.

As you breathe in and breathe out,

Just continue letting go,

Letting go of self judgment or any negativities by coming back to this state of consciousness,

Deep,

Deep state of consciousness and connecting to the knowledge that you're not separate,

You are part of the flow,

You are in healing,

You are elevating to a level of consciousness that is deeply connected to life,

Deeply connected to the energy of life.

You're breathing this in but you're also embracing this within the state of elevation that you're creating.

Deep breath.

Usually it's good to continue in stillness for a few more moments,

For five minutes,

Just letting go,

Relaxing,

Being present.

And at the end of your meditation just drinking a little bit of water to ground yourself and to just continue doing things in a more conscious way.

Your everyday life situations help you to be more conscious,

The same way as in your meditation when you're connected to your heart,

When you're connected to your breath,

Everything flows.

Thank you.