What Is This Thing Called Mindfulness?

Mindfulness has been famously described as "Awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally". This is a simple idea for a hugely beneficial practice but the question is how can we bring it into effect. Here are some ideas that might help. Background music: Harmony of the Divine by Narek Mirzaei. Photo by Jordan Opel on Unsplash

Transcript

Dear friends,

What is this thing called mindfulness?

What do people mean when they talk about meditation?

The definition of mindfulness that I like best comes from John Kabat-Zinn.

John is the author of many books,

Among them Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life.

This is the book that introduced me to this practice many years ago.

This is John's description.

Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose,

In the present moment,

Non-judgmentally.

Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose,

In the present moment,

Non-judgmentally.

Now you will hear people say,

I'd love to practice mindfulness but I don't have the time.

And yes,

Isn't it true how these days we all seem to be short of time?

But lack of time is a problem only if you consider mindfulness as something which you have to add on to your life.

Something like music lessons,

Swimming classes,

Going to the gym,

Or meeting the challenge of keeping up with reading in a book club.

If you are truly interested in these things,

You will make time for them.

But your time is not unlimited.

So space for the activities that interest you has to come out of the limited number of hours that you have available.

Time in that sense can be compared to savings.

If you spend some of your savings on a holiday,

You'll have less available to spend on a new car or a new carpet.

But mindfulness is different.

Meditation is not an add-on.

Even though we seem to imagine the practice as sitting down in a position of relaxation and calm.

Meditation as it is intended should be part of your being just like breathing is part of your being.

Breathing is not an add-on.

We don't have to decide whether or not to breathe.

It just happens as we go about our day.

Breathing is part of what keeps you,

You,

And me,

Me.

So going back to that definition of mindfulness,

And as John puts it in another place,

This awareness that emerges through paying attention to the unfolding of experience moment by moment.

This is so simple to say,

So easy to believe in,

But quite hard to do in the ups and downs of life.

This is why we practice and the reason why we call meditation a practice.

To learn to practice awareness in the changing circumstances of everyday life and to get into the habit of being aware,

We begin by setting aside a short regular time for actual sitting.

This doesn't have to be a long daily session.

In fact,

It's better if it's not.

It won't be helpful if the sitting turns out to be a drudge,

Something that we feel we should but cannot fit into our daily routine.

Five,

Ten,

Or fifteen minutes will get us on our way and these few regular minutes will produce results.

If we compare mindfulness practice with,

Say,

Learning to play a musical instrument,

We'll quickly realise that it's much more beneficial to practice playing ten minutes every day than to embark upon a two-hour marathon session once a week.

To learn to play the piano,

The guitar,

Or any musical instrument,

We need short,

Regular periods of practice.

It's the very same with mindfulness.

So let us begin right here and right now.

Make sure you are sitting comfortably,

Your feet grounded on the floor,

Your back reasonably straight but not rigid.

Your eyes can be open or closed,

Whatever suits.

If open,

You might find it helpful to fix your gaze downward.

This will help you to avoid distraction.

And remember to drop those shoulders.

The shoulders are a place where we often hold some tension.

So drop the shoulders.

Relax.

Take a moment to come into the present.

You are here.

This is your opportunity to leave aside the cares of the day.

Rest assured there will be lots of time later to attend to that endless list,

The list of things to be done.

For now,

It's time to just let things be.

Let the world turn without you.

You know it will.

It always has and it always will.

Right here and right now,

We are present and relaxed.

So we're going to practice a simple breathing exercise.

Since it has been with us from our very first moment of life,

We begin with the breath.

If we can remember to return to the breath,

We can bring ourselves back to the state of presence and relaxation anytime.

So for the next two minutes,

Just breathe in and breathe out normally.

But try to be aware of the fact that you are breathing in and out.

If your mind wanders,

And no doubt it will,

No worries,

No one is checking,

This is not an exam.

When you realise that your attention has slipped,

This itself is a moment of awareness,

Something good.

So just gently bring your mind back to the present moment.

So here goes,

Two minutes.

Welcome back.

I hope that felt good.

Among other things,

Coming back to the breath will save you from falling into automatic response mode.

This can happen when things go against you.

And we have to learn to manage this tendency to fall back on autopilot.

I'll give you an example from my own life,

Confession as you'll see.

I remember a situation a little while ago.

I was driving back from the countryside in the dark.

This was following the ending of a certain football match,

So hundreds of cars were meeting me in the opposite direction.

So the road on which I was travelling wasn't a motorway,

It wasn't even a dual carriageway.

It was just one of these narrow sections of road,

You've all come across them.

A road where there's only room for one lane of cars in each direction.

I was travelling along at the best speed which I believed to be safe in the circumstances.

It was such a dark,

Murky night.

That narrow stretch of road continued for a number of miles.

I noticed a lorry following very close behind me,

Obviously anxious to get past,

But I'd no place where I could pull in to allow the lorry to pass.

The driver,

Who would clearly have benefited from a little mindfulness practice himself,

He began flashing headlights as if to say,

Get on with it,

Make him move,

You're holding me up.

Now if I had been mindful,

And if I'd come back to my breath,

I would have realised that by accepting the reality of the situation,

I was driving as fast as I could safely drive.

But the lorry driver was clearly of a different opinion,

He was having none of it.

But finally an opportunity did present itself,

And I pulled in to allow the lorry to pass.

As he did,

The driver blew me out of it,

And then a little bit of road rage on my part.

The autopilot responds from me,

What a cheek,

Who does this fellow think he is?

And I let him hear the sound of my horn as he disappeared into the distance ahead.

Now,

Here I am,

Telling you to practice mindfulness,

And to be present.

Now this type of response is exactly what this practice is designed to help us not to do.

We pay attention here and now,

Without judgement,

And without falling into these autopilot reactions.

These responses to annoyance help no one.

They certainly don't help the other party,

And they do nothing for ourselves.

They pointlessly increase tension,

They raise blood pressure,

They cause ill will,

And they spread ill will around.

Think of the difference between that event,

And the happy reactions and responses which we receive when we take the opportunity to let someone out into a line of traffic.

Lesson learned,

I hope.

So in the time ahead,

Let us both learn to practice being more present.

Let us try to avoid the trap of mindlessness.

We can resolve not to fall into autopilot mode.

We should remember to take a breath,

Practice restraint when we are faced with an irritating situation.

That restraint,

After all,

Is part of what mindfulness is about.

And let us remember too that mindfulness is not an add-on.

It is not something that we have to try to fit in to an already busy and full schedule.

The idea is that mindfulness and presence will become as natural as breathing.

But to learn this skill of mindful presence,

We have to practice.

We practice by setting aside a few minutes a day for mindful reflection.

Mornings seem to be the best time for this exercise,

But the important thing is to make some time every day to practice,

Just as we'd need to do if we wanted to become proficient at a musical instrument.

We won't become expert in a day,

Or in a week,

Maybe not even in a lifetime.

But day by day,

Week by week,

Little by little,

We can practice living a more mindful life.

This will help us,

And it will help everyone who meets us,

And that must be good practice for life.

I hope you find these thoughts helpful as you navigate your way in this ever more amazing world.

Namaste.

Reviews

As each time, the meditation is even deeper because of your transmission…Blessings to you, Tony!

I love the simple and easy explanation followed by the practice. Thanks 😊

I look forward to my quiet times during the day….daily practice has made such a difference. 🙏🏻

I always love Tony’s voice, gentle demeanor, and Insight. Certainly one of the best descriptions of mindfulness that I’ve heard.

I liked being reminded of the definition of mindfulness. And remembering that it’s not something we have to add onto our days; mindfulness is to be practiced throughout our days. Namaste. 🌺🌸