True Lives - My Friend Paul

This talk is a reflection/tribute to a friend of mine whose life is an example of kindness, hope and positivity. His example leaves me with the thought that we must all try to make the best use of this wonderful gift of life.  Background music for part of the talk is "A Relaxing Christmas" by Narek Mirzaei of Music of Wisdom

Transcript

Dear friends,

Some time ago I prepared a reflection following the loss of a friend of mine who had passed away and so this true lives story,

Its title is My Friend Paul.

My friend Paul was a man who loved to spend time in meditation and it was appropriate that he should come to spend his last minutes of life in the very hour when I was listening to a reflection here on Insight Timer on the theme of transience.

The mindfulness teacher I was listening to at the time had suggested that it would be a good idea to dedicate our sittings for the benefit of someone who was facing change or death as indeed Paul was and so I did.

Then as I ended the meditation and checked my phone I saw a message to the effect that a little while earlier Paul,

As it was put,

Had gone to live with the angels.

The timing was just about perfect.

The death of someone we know and love gives rise to questions which have been asked by people since the dawn of time.

What is life all about?

How did I come to be here?

Where do we come from?

Do we go somewhere else when this life is over?

And of course for finite beings in a vast cosmos there is no certain answer.

But the Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh,

Whom Paul and I greatly admire,

Suggests that something cannot come into existence from nothing.

He says that something like that happening just doesn't make any sense.

Neither can something that already exists go out of existence although its form may change.

And it raises the question for each of us how is it that,

Surrounded as we are by death and change,

None of us can really imagine or believe in our own personal non-existence?

Thoughts along these lines bring me to the belief and hope that in some manner which is incomprehensible to us we do in fact go on in some way and that there is much more to the reality of our being than meets the eye or can be understood by the human mind.

I'm sure that in any future life people would not particularly wish to see me again but somehow I imagine Paul might like to bump into me.

He was one of the kindest,

Most reliable,

Trustworthy people I ever had the good fortune to meet.

Paul was totally devoted to his wife Anne whom he loved with all his heart.

We made a number of trips to places of meditation,

To Plum Village near Bordeaux in France,

To Jampa Ling in Cavan here in Ireland.

Always there was the daily report back to Anne to inquire if she was well.

The words I love you,

I love you were repeated with sincerity in all those conversations.

On one of those trips to Jampa Ling I remember fearing that we might never make it safely back to Dublin,

Paul driving with an over anxious enthusiasm to arrive back as quickly as possible to fall into the arms of his beloved Anne.

He idolised his children.

He greatly missed Michael,

A son whom he'd lost a little while before I met him.

His children were all the greatest in his eyes.

He thought I was great too,

But that didn't give me a swelled head because Paul gave everyone the benefit of the doubt.

In his world the glass was always half full,

If not to overflow.

He described how he had the best doctors,

The best hospital,

The best advisors,

The best friends.

It seems that being the best himself he was rewarded with and attracted the companionship of people who shared his positive attitude to life.

They say that has something to do with karma.

Paul's good,

Decent,

Caring life reminds me that we are all here for only a short time,

Even those of us who managed to hang in long beyond our sell by date.

But the life of each of us is a gift beyond price,

Inexplicable,

Incredible,

Unearned,

Undeserved.

So each of us must try to make the best use of this gift.

My friend Paul never preached about doing good,

He just practised it to the end.

And so the time has come to say goodbye.

Sleep well my friend.

I hope,

I feel sure we will meet again sometime.

We will catch up on news and explore with even more amazement,

An even greater world than we have known this time around.

When does it matter?

As Thich Nhat Hanh would remind us,

We have forever and forever is a long,

Long time.

The Dalai Lama famously tells us,

My religion is kindness.

And I'd like to end this story with a quote from a website which is entitled RandomActsofKindness.

Org.

Kindness is giving hope to those who think they are all alone in the world.

Kindness is seeing the best in others when they cannot see it in themselves.

Kindness is something anyone can give without losing anything themselves.

Kindness is not what you do,

But who you are.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Reviews

Dear Tony,
I so appreciate your kind wisdom. My dear friend Alice recently passed. We still talk most every day. Your reflection on Paul lifts my spirits. Yours, Mary in Minneapolis

Paul sounds like a great man, what a wonderful friend you each found in one another. You always choose the best quotes - I find great comfort in Canon Henry Scott Holland’s words: ‘how we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again’
Thank you, Tony 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I found so much comfort in this. Thank you so much and God Bless dear Paul and you, Tony until you meet again. Love never dies. ❤️

Thank you Tony for this precious reminder of how finite our precious lives here on earth are and the sacredness of every day. Namaste

It’s good to be reminded about the immense value of simple kindness. It really has no downside at all. Thank you

You are such a special person- who manages to touch my heart with your loving words of wisdom - thank you!
Namaste 🙏🏼
Sonia

Just beautiful. Such a loving and moving tribute to a kind soul. Thank you so much for sharing this Tony.

The music was lovely. A perfect choice. We will meet again, somewhere!

As usual, lifted and thankful for this meditation. Thank you. I look forward everyday to your meditations. 🙏

Thank you so much
Everything you create, indeed, feels like a prayer
Humbled greatly
Thank You 🙏🏻

Tony Brady’s gentle insights change the day. Thank you Tony for sharing thoughts on the loss of your friend Paul. Condolences ✨and blessings for the New Year.

Beautiful, made me cry.
Thankful to you for sharing this precious and real story. You remind me of Paul. I have no doubt you will reunite. GBU Dear Tony. 🙏🏾🙏🙏🏻👼🏾👼👼🏻🕊✝️🛐

Thank you for this beautiful tribute to your friend Paul. I lost my son in April of 2022. He was also a very kind and compassionate person. If everyone in this world were just a little bit more like Paul and Matthew the world would be a better place. Sending love to you my friend.

You’ve left us all a simply beautiful tribute to your dear friend and you’ve left us all with a kinder, warmer heart. I hope and pray to Divine Spirit that we human beings can heal our beautiful world.

What a beautiful teaching! Thank you for sharing your friends, Paul, with us. I just lost a sweet friend to a hiking accident two weeks ago, so I found this talk especially inspiring.

Thank you for this beautiful meditation talk and sorry for the loss of your sweet friend Paul. The example he led is an inspiration and comforting ❤️

Another lovely talk. Gentle and kind, as always.

Lovely memorial to a wonderful friend, Tony.

Great lesson about the things that really matter in life. Thank youfor sharing this 🙏

Lovely. So sorry for your loss. Wondering why all the good ones go too early and the "bad" ones stay? Paul sounds like a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing. ☮️💖🙏🖖🍀