Dear Friends,
There is an emptiness which we feel when we lose someone we love.
The emptiness opens like a deep crater on the pathway ahead,
And we have to take care to walk around it and not allow ourselves to fall in.
Let's take a 60 second break,
Just one minute,
To sit quietly and bring to mind and give thanks for the life of someone whom we've loved and lost.
We can take some comfort from the fact that these voids in the path of life will in time mostly fill in,
Though never quite completely.
So we need to proceed with care and kindness to ourselves,
And also so that we can encourage other people to proceed with care in their rough times.
On the road of life,
We will find many places and circumstances which bring to mind our lost loved ones.
It might be a time of day,
A time of year,
A certain place,
A smell,
A song.
I lost a brother-in-law,
Colm,
Who died suddenly quite a number of years ago.
And one of the places where Colm comes to mind for me is a run-of-the-mill automatic teller machine.
We were on the way out one night and Colm stopped at that particular hole in the wall and said,
Hang on a second,
I need to get some money here.
We will all have people who come into our minds when we hear a song,
Or when we visit a place which we associate with the person.
Places and events in this world reminding us of people we knew and loved,
And who have passed from it.
These trigger points of memory can induce feelings of loss and grief,
Because,
As has often been quoted,
Grief is the price we pay for love.
The journey out of grief,
Out of deep grief,
Is not a direct path upwards.
Vicki Harrison tells us,
Grief is like an ocean.
It comes on in waves,
Ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it's overwhelming.
All we can do is learn to swim.
Let's allow ourselves another one-minute pause.
Welcome back.
Over time we learn to use these trigger points of memory as calls for increased gratitude,
Each and every one of them,
A reminder of the fact that for a time we had the gift of sharing this life with someone whose memory will never be lost to us.
And we can take inspiration and find challenge for renewal in recalling the lives of those we have known and loved.
Henry David Thoreau offers us this advice.
On the death of a friend,
We should consider that the fate's true confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living,
That we have henceforth to fulfil the promise of our friend's life also,
In our own,
To the world.
So,
Where we feel we can do so,
We might consider taking up the baton where it has been dropped by our friend,
And continuing the race as he or she would have done.
We can catch the falling candle and pass its light to another before that light is extinguished.
In that way,
The ripples of kindness and the good work commenced by our loved one goes on and continues to inspire other people.
The light of our friend shines on.
Some final thoughts.
The Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us our actions are our only true belongings.
And the Prophet Muhammad tells us a person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world.
So,
Whether we realise it or not,
My actions and your actions have an impact on the world.
The grief we feel on the loss of someone dear to us is a reminder to us that the life of each of us matters,
Because we see that this person's life mattered.
This gift of life is our opportunity to help to make this world a better place.
Not so much by responding to the few opportunities for greatness that might only occasionally present themselves,
But by the little actions carried out day after day after day by you and by me.
We can be sure that every one of these small acts of kindness,
Carried out day by day,
Will all add up to something worthwhile as the months and the years pass.
Let us be grateful for the time we shared with our loved ones,
The lessons they taught us and the joy they brought into our lives.
In our moments of loss,
We can find comfort by recalling with gratitude the good times,
All the moments of laughter,
Love and connection that we were privileged to share.
Life is always done too soon,
But memories living on in our hearts will support us in times of sadness.
So let us all continue to support and encourage one another as we journey along this road which we call life.
Namaste
