Real Life Practice - Acceptance & Change

How comfortable are we with the ideas of acceptance and change? Do we fight against the tide of life? Have we learned yet to relax and swim with the current when this is what we must do? In this practice, you are invited to examine and the difference between mindfulness theory and mindfulness practice.

Transcript

Dear friends,

In this series we are going to reflect on the difference between the intellectual acceptance of a principle and the putting of it into effect when the principle hits the reality of the lived life.

Welcome to Real Life Practice,

Today on the themes of Acceptance and Change.

Can we begin by coming to a place of rest and inner exploration in this present moment?

Just close and rest your eyes for these few moments of reflection.

Notice your breath,

Your breath which has unvailingly kept you alive since you first took in a longfall of our life-giving air.

And for the next 60 seconds just let yourself be,

Just be.

And for the next 60 seconds just let yourself be,

Just be.

Welcome back.

Now let's have another pause during which we ask the question,

How comfortable am I with the ideas of acceptance and change?

Do I fight against the tide of life?

Have I learned yet to relax and swim with the current when this is what I must do?

Welcome back again.

For years past I have believed,

I taught,

In the importance of acceptance of change.

I've even encouraged the practice here on Insight Timer and in live meditation sessions here in Dublin.

I'm sure I have even quoted in good faith Ticknad Han's words,

When we are mindful,

Deeply in touch with the present moment,

Our understanding of what is going on deepens and we begin to be filled with acceptance,

Joy,

Peace and love.

But I recently came to discover the difference between acceptance as an idea in theory and the very different experience of acceptance in real life.

I hope the sharing of this story will help you just as the experience has,

I think and hope,

Helped me to see the difference between mindfulness theory and mindfulness practice.

Some months ago I had to spend overnight in hospital.

Simply to save you wondering what was wrong with me I can tell you that it was a procedure to fix a hernia mesh that had been causing problems for some time past.

I expected to be up and running again in a matter of days and acceptance was no problem at all.

But ten days after the surgery I was still showing no signs of improvement.

At this point theory met reality and I found that my willingness to accept my situation fell away like snow after a quick thaw.

Another overnight in hospital and another operation and thankfully after another five weeks it brought about the desired result.

During that time of uncertainty I was given the opportunity to explore how necessary it is for us to develop a comfortable relationship with change and a better understanding of the true meaning of acceptance in everyday life.

I had found that acceptance of change was fine with me provided I had decided I wanted change.

It was no problem so long as I was in agreement with facing the particular difficulty that confronted me.

But this conditional approach is far removed from the attitude to change that we try to cultivate when we sit to meditate.

The experience was a reminder of how we wish to be in charge,

How we wish to cling on and of course this clinging on is the source of so many of our difficulties.

The Buddha draws attention to the reality of suffering and that suffering is caused by craving,

Desire and attachments.

The question is how many times have we to read this,

How many times have we to hear this,

Say this before the principle really establishes itself in our day-to-day life.

In my case it took weeks of immobility before I realized that these good principles had only been floating on the surface and had not penetrated any further.

So let us give thanks for those incidents in our lives that help bring us to our senses.

Incidents that appear to be obstacles but which turn out to be keys which unlock the door to better understanding.

Some quotes from Michael J Fox.

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation,

It means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it.

And from William James.

Be willing to have it so.

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

Let's have another one minute pause,

This time to ask if you have struggled with acceptance and change in some way similar to the incident I just described for you.

Welcome back again.

Now we'll take a final break to reflect on how we might from this point onwards genuinely practice acceptance and change.

From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we settle in at the end of the day we are afforded so many authentic places to practice.

Every experience of hardship provides fertile ground in which we can root our practice.

A final thought before we end this meditation which I hope will be a help to your practice.

This is a prayer for serenity and you're probably very familiar with it.

May we bring its wise words into our daily lives.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

May it be so.

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you Tony for another gem of wisdom that resonates so well with many of us 🙏🌟

Tony, this What is a thought-provoking meditation. I think for me the way to Get to true acceptance would be to remember your phrase “conditional change..” That would help me realize what conditions I may have placed on it. Thank you, and I’m glad that your surgery was finally successful .

Thank you, Tony! I hear you on that elusive point of whether I am parroting my practice or practicing it! It takes a lot of honesty and self-understanding to recognize attachments and release them. But when I can, I feel light as a dandelion puff, and I marvel that it took so long.
This meditation is a great reminder.
Namaste,
Donna

Profound thoughts 🙏🏻. What a challenge it is to remain mindful when hardship hits. Thanks for sharing. Namaste 🤓👍🏻

Thank you Tony. Sorry to hear of your experience. However, pleased all turned out well. I am really needing help with acceptance. Will be back to your one. 💜🙏🕊

This was just what I needed.

Such an important lesson to learn, thank you for sharing. Lots to ponder.

Many thanks Tony, your meditations are always so helpful. This acceptance of change is so hard especially for a life long control freak! Good to have some guidance in these challenging days of great change. I do hope all is well with you. Keep safe, 🙏

Always amazing. Always wise, well-said, so full of warmth & kindness. Every time I listen to anything Tony Brady has on Insight Timer, I know that I will feel better. He has an authenticity that, for me, allows me to fully & deeply hear & understand what he is passing on. I cannot bear pretentiousness or the mere whiff of someone who is contrived. Hence, I always come back to Tony for my teachings, inspiration, reminders of whatever I might be seeking. I am so grateful to you, Tony. Thank you so very, very much from the bottom of my little heart to your huge, kind, wise heart. We are so extremely fortunate to have you sharing your wisdom and warmth with us.

Thank you Tony 🙏 finally experiencing (moments of) real acceptance can take a long time if change came also a long time ago. but after such a long -and probably neccessary -journey peace and acceptance are becoming more and more familiar, friends maybe, bit by bit.
Your meditations are really helpful in this proces. For which I’m grateful.

Thank you Tony and blessings to you and your loved ones 🙏

Dear Tony, Thanks for this lovely experience 🙏🏻🌺😊

Thank you so much, Tony! This was extremely helpful and exactly what I needed to hear right now as I struggle with acceptance and change. I laughed so hard when you said that you realized you were ok with change as long as it was change you wanted—truer words have never been spoken. I’m still figuring all this out and have come to realize acceptance is a big part of feeling peace. It’s a real challenge, though. I’m so glad you have recovered from your surgeries and they provided you insight on this matter, which you have kindly shared with us. Many blessings to you 🙏🏻❤️.

Wisdom well shared thanks

So
Point on as always. So glad you’re doing better Tony.
Sending healing light & love.
Thank you for this wonderful meditation today.
💖🦋💕🙏🏽🐾🙏🏼🌷🌸💜💋

Wonderful guidance and meditation!
Embracing change! Thank you!

Thanks for sharing this beautiful morning meditation !

Spot on! Putting things into practice is tricky. I appreciate the reminder the our challenges are what can guide us back to our practice. One monk, when asked how he was doing would reply, “ Wonderful! I have so many problems!”

Thanks for sharing this lovely meditation.

I especially liked the different times of silence to reflect. Thank you 🙏