Looking At An Old Bedtime Prayer

In this talk I invite you to examine an old Roman Catholic prayer, the Act of Contrition. You are invited to look at the words and see their relevance to our time. The talk concludes with a suggested re-wording that might help present day seekers.

The background music at the end is "Your Soul" by Narek Mirzaei of Music of Wisdom. The prayer is suggested as an end-of-the-day aid to peaceful and restful sleep

Transcript

Music Dear friends,

I recently had an encouraging message from someone who asked me if I would add to the number of nighttime meditations which I have here on Insight Timer.

It was a request to provide some more words of calm and gratitude before bedtime.

So this talk is prompted by that request.

The request got me thinking of how we might best fall into a restful and contented state at the end of each day.

I hope you get something from it.

Listeners here who were brought up in the Roman Catholic tradition will remember what was called the Act of Contrition or Act of Sorrow.

It was a prayer to be said regularly and especially at night before going to sleep.

As you can imagine it was taught in Catholic schools here in Ireland and I'm sure the world over.

But I suspect that few of the young people listening to this talk will ever have been introduced to this nightly call to renewal,

A call that was part of the lives of so many of us in years gone by.

I'll read the prayer for you now and then let's see if we can analyse it and find benefit in it.

This is how it went.

Oh my God,

I am heartily sorry for having offended you,

And I detest my sins above every other evil,

Because they displease you,

My God,

Who for your infinite goodness are so deserving of all my love,

And I firmly resolve by your holy grace never more to offend you and to amend my life.

That was the Act of Contrition.

Now some people in the early twenty-first century might find this prayer a little strange or foreign,

Or even a little more than strange.

In the first place there is the Godward.

The prayer was composed at a time when we might have been inclined to have an image of God as a super version of ourselves,

A man up there in the sky with a long beard,

Keeping a watchful eye and immediately recognisable as one of us.

Now I don't claim to know who God might be,

But I do believe that the man in the sky idea is a hopelessly inadequate image,

As indeed are all our attempts to define what is by definition undefinable.

But if we can see God as the underlying basis of all existence,

And existing in and through all life,

And indeed in and through all that exists,

We see that the prayer expresses remorse for our having fallen short of the ideals to which the gift of our existence calls us.

The prayer talks of God as being deserving of all our love.

And of course our existence is such an unimaginable gift that we can readily see how the cause of this gift warrants that we live out our lives in an endless state of gratitude.

Words just cannot express how fortunate we are to be here at all.

So our existence is something deserving of all our gratitude.

Talk of displeasing God will be strange to the ears of non-believers,

But I suggest that it's not so much that our failures displease God,

In the sense that we might displease a mother or father.

It's more that our failures represent an unhappy withdrawal of our cooperation in the extraordinary opportunity that life offers us,

The opportunity of adding to the sum total of human happiness while we are part of this phenomenal reality.

You could compare failure to pay our part as taking an unauthorised overdraft from the bank of life,

If not actually organising a hold-up in that very special bank.

And then there's the matter of the resolution to turn over a new leaf,

To begin again.

That resolution is such an important factor in any of our attempts to be the best that we can be.

It applies to any bad habit that we wish to break,

Or any good habit we wish to cultivate.

It all begins with our resolve,

Our wish to change.

Wishful thinking is only the beginning.

We must firmly resolve.

Every time we gain the courage,

Each time we somehow manage to make up our minds to put the past behind us,

We gain the enthusiasm to approach the days that lie ahead with energy.

That energy and enthusiasm comes from having a clean slate,

A new brush.

Energised by our firm decision,

We realise that we can make a new beginning from which we can move on to a better life.

But what if we fail?

Now we all know from experience that our resolutions can be hard to keep.

We make the resolution with the best of intentions.

Next we slip,

We fall,

But pick ourselves up,

We dust ourselves off and we start afresh.

But again,

Before we know it,

We fall again and again.

It can be disheartening,

But we must keep on trying,

Again and again and again.

Remember,

Each time we get up,

We move on a little further towards the goal of our greater destiny.

We're not bad people trying to be good.

We are good people trying to be better.

It would be a miserable and a dark world indeed without our resolutions to improve.

I remember and I hope it may still be the practice for an act of contrition to be whispered into the ears of a person nearing death,

Or in danger or distress following an accident.

This little prayer,

Expressing sorrow for our failings and expressing the determination to begin again,

Must be a consolation at a time when someone is face to face with the fragility of this life.

It must be a particular comfort if the person in distress is not in the position to put the thoughts and fears of the moment into words.

And of course the prayer need not be reserved for a moment when we feel our lights are about to be turned off.

What a pity if it was to be kept in reserve for the coming down of our curtain.

The act of contrition is a reflection that has a value every day and it can bring comfort and healing every night.

It will help our resolve to do better if we become familiar with this prayer,

Or some variation of it that makes sense according to our own individual circumstances and beliefs.

Saying it or something like it,

Saying it nightly,

Might be another key to a restful,

Contented sleep.

So I offer you this variation of the prayer in the light of these thoughts.

Spirit of Life Cause of my existence I'm sorry for having fallen short of the life I know I am capable of living.

I regret this failure because life is a gift with so many possibilities for goodness,

So many reasons for thankfulness.

I renew my resolution to accept mindfully the gift that each new day brings.

I make up my mind here and now,

And in gratitude for the gift of each new day to be the best I can be,

Day by day.

May it be so.

In conclusion,

The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you.

With the word,

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you, Tony. Although not a Roman Catholic myself, many childhood friends were, so I remember (and find some comfort in) the rituals and prayers that we shared 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thank you Tony for this thought provoking practice which helped me to understand a difficult situation I face now and led me into much needed deep sleep. Namaste

Funny, when I was raised Roman Catholic the only time I was ever taught to say this prayer was in confession w the priest. I learned the very old version which almost seemed like the fear of punishment was the driver to confessions. Unfortunately I grew up with a God who was eager to punish, a lot of fear was instilled in me at a very young impressionable age. This is why I probably am a failure at growing that ever elusive “relationship” with God. I was brought up with the man in the sky idea too who is constantly watching you and who knows when you are bad. It caused lots of anxiety and paranoia in my life. In my upbringing sermons were focussed on us being “bad people trying to be good” not “good people trying to be better”. My upbringing sure did a number on me.

Thank you for saying your version and for modifying it too.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

Thank you, Tony, for bringing new insight to an old prayer in a respectful manner.

Beautiful explanation of the "Act of Contriction" prayer. Loved your thoughts on the prayer & the way of thinking as it is prayed. Loved the modern prayer that can be a prayer substitute with all the same meaning. Thank you for this renewed approach to a beautiful, meaningful prayer practice. God Bless you, Tony! 🙏😊

Spectacular 🙏💙🙏and divine timing as I wrote out read two versions of the act of contrition on index cards trying to find the version closest to childhood memories.Tonys gentle guidanceand prayerful meditation style is a beacon in the wee hrs of the morning

Always beautiful guided prayer, thank you for sharing with us 🙇‍♂️🧘‍♀️❤️

So wonderful not only being reminded of this prayer from my childhood but to now have a new way to understand and use it.
Thank you 🙏🏼❤️

I love your comment that we are not bad people trying to be good, but good people trying to be better 💫

Amazing. I grew up as a catholic and I remember this prayer but didn’t remember it being so grieving and full of guilt!
I love the new variation you gave us. It’s truly life changing! I will visit this nightly and thank you to whomever asked for more night meditations.
I would agree—many More like this!⭐️

I really like the interpretation of this prayer! Thank you

Thank you for this lovely bedtime story which led me into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Thank you Tony, it is perfect for me to end the day with such beautiful words.

What a marvelous reframing of the ancient 🙏 prayer

Really interesting… A whole new look at the act of contrition! 🙏 namaste

Thank you so much for this refund and moving meditation. 🙏

If I could rate this 12 stars I would. You are truly the most amazingly insightful and magical insightest I’ve ever listened to. Your explanation and then personal version of this prayer was just so heartening. If you ever come to the states on the east coast please let me know. I feel I just must meet you. Peaceful new night prayers. Namaste 🙏

Great! Ty 🙏❤️✨🕊

I love your variation on the act of contrition, which I vaguely remember from childhood. Your version is much more gentle and I need to write it down and try it. Thanks!

A great reflection on humanness and stepping into the power of the universe. Namaste, Tony. ☮️