LGBT Solidarity: Diversity & Inclusion

June 28th is the anniversary of the raid on the Stonewall Inn in New York in 1969 which gave rise to the modern Gay Pride movement which is celebrated at this time each year. As we approach the anniversary of Stonewall, this is an invitation to stand in solidarity with people who are LGBT. May we work to build a world where all people, no matter their perceived differences, are celebrated and loved.

May we celebrate diversity as a blessing that enriches us all.

Reviews

Beautiful words about our LGBT brothers and sisters/community. Thinking of my brother Luis who passed away 17 yrs ago from aids.
If everyone thought like you the world would be the loveliest of places. God bless you, friend.🌈🧡💚💙💜🤎🌈 🙏

Well said, Tony 😊 Inclusion and celebrations of diversity benefits every community 🙏 Thankyou

Thank you, Tony. A beautiful and gentle call to action to love ourselves and each other. Sending love to you from Chicago.

Thank you as always for the thoughtfulness and kindness.

Thank you for this wonderful meditation on an overlooked topic!

As a Mom of 2 gay children, I appreciate this so very much. Thank you. ✌🏻❤️🙏🏻

Less of an actual meditation but more of a moving and poignant reflection. Beautifully done. Thank you.

Thank you Tony for this beautiful meditation about the importance of love and acceptance for all people regardless of race or sexuality. As a gay man coming out in the mid 80s in small town middle America I know now how far we’ve come for the younger generations who will be able to be themselves without as much fear as many before them. But as you say there is still much to be done and I pray we will continue to see positive change for all who have been and are still discriminated against due to sexuality and race. Peace love and light to all. ❤️🙏🙏🙏

Thank you Tony, for this heartfelt and thought provoking meditation inviting listeners to put themselves into the shoes of LGBT people and their loved ones. For my entire life I’ve dealt with the fear of abandonment by family and friends for being who I am. Progress has been made but for many of us, these remain lifelong wounds.

Thankyou Tony. That was powerful. I have 2 LGBTQ sons. May the world continue to grow in acceptance and love.

Thank you so much. This was the only meditation I found when I did a search for LGBT on this site. As a gay man I truly appreciate the gentleness, love, and inclusiveness expressed in your meditation. 🙏🏼

Delightful as usual. It is so nice to just include everyone! ☮️💖🙏🌈 Thank you Tony! ☘️

Excellent my friend. I really appreciate your message. I agree that every person has the right to be who they want to be without fear of being harmed. May you have peace and happy upcoming anniversary. ( just had our 44th sat) Namaste 🙏

Tony,

Thanks for sharing, you have a unique and beautiful way of making things understandable. I never considered or knew many of the things discussed by you here, so thanks again. Very best wishes.

Namaste 🙏

Siobhán

I always love your compassionate and wise insights and want to thank you for this in particular. I grew up in the Catholic Church and suffered what I can only describe as homophobic spiritual violence, threats of Hell and condemnation. Many years later I became a Buddhist and started a journey of healing and forgiveness toward those who had injured me. Your specific inclusion of LGBT dignity here rather than just a general compassion for beings is a hugely valuable blessing. It is so often overlooked but you skilfully offer direct doorways here toward spiritual recovery from oppression - gratitude and solidarity-namaste

Beautiful tribute Tony. Thank you. 🙏💖

A beautifully mindful meditation Tony that touches my heart and life personally. I am grateful for your inclusion here of trans people, as you rightly point out their courage and resilience is extraordinary in the face of challenges faced wherever their lives are lived. Highlighting heteronormativity is key in breaking down assumption and opening up diversity. The poem also touched me heart, please can you remind of the poet's name. Thank you for this meditation, during g Pride month and the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. All good wishes and love to you and Fran on your 45th wedding anniversary in September. Namaste

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Tony, for sharing this profound and yet oh-so-simple practice. As the mother of a transperson, and with one of my closest friends being gay (who is a Brit and was terrified of saying anything in his younger years while he and his family were in the USA before returning to England, but even until university remaining silent), my heart aches, and this practice left me in tears. How hard can it be to simply accept people for who they are, who they say they are? I don't mean blind naitivite to con artists and the like, of course, but if a person has the courage to choose to come out to you, why is that so difficult to accept? Same person, before and after. The difficulty lies in the receiver of the new knowledge, not with the beautiful soul who is tentatively entrusting the recepient with their tender heart and trust.

My friend stated in the coming out letter I received in college (his university - we're of an equal age, in school years) that if I no longer wanted to be friends, that was understandable. I read those words and was so shocked and angered and upset that despite the time zone, I immediately picked up the phone and called overseas to launch into a harangue. I shouted at him about having been friends for so long and how I thought my character was known well enough to him by then to know it didn't matter to me, and how hurt I was that he thought that "little fact" (as I put it then, which I know isn't "little" at all but to me at that time was such a tiny part of the lovely overall person he was/is that it's what popped out of my mouth) would ever change our friendship. I also informed him that it didn't change the pinky swear promise we made that if neither of us were married by 40, we could marry each other to silence the grumbling families - we could just have our own discreet relationships on the side as we chose. (Ah, the ideals of youth.) There was a long pause, then I heard him in tears say quietly that he had lost friends and family over his revelation to them, and how it was illegal in one place he used to go to be seen holding hands with another man. I admit, in my youthful indignation, I was selfish and outraged. I never stopped to thank him (then) for his courage and choice to tell me himself. I was so incensed that he thought I was one of "those types of people" that it was more about me than him, though he understood where I was far better than I understood him. I told him I had known he was gay for years (call it a spidey-sense, but it was true) and it didn't matter, I just figured he'd get around to telling me in his own time if he wanted. Perhaps my matter-of-fact presentation was reassuring, I don't know. I do know that a few years later, I visited him in England, we went to the theater, went to a high society wedding his family had been invited to attend, and had a wonderful, relaxed, enjoyable time. (It was a hoot to discuss who the cute guyswere at the wedding and whether he should go talk to any of them.) Many years later, he came across the puddle to visit me and my husband as I had just had our first child. He was the doting "uncle" and was so relaxed on that trip - I did some career counseling with him and upon his return to the UK, he did change careers and has been ensconsed in the "new" one for nearly 20 years now. He's helped me understand the inside scoop on Brexit, tons of other things, and most importantly, clues me in to the latest developments in Doctor Who and Red Dwarf before they reach the USA. What's not to love? 😁

I learned from that, though. I learned that I was (at that time) perhaps an outlier in my acceptance, and I also learned in retrospect just how self-centered I was in my response. I accepted him, of course. I look at the person - their actions and statements and beliefs more than anything else. Love is love, as the saying goes, and it doesn't matter to me who is the loved and who is the loved. We love our families - all genders and sexes - so why is that version of love okay but not a version that includes more intimacy, especially if it's not in any way disruptive to others? (I'm not a fan of public displays of affection anywhere, by anyone, apart from hand holding and the occasional quick hello/goodbye kiss or hug, no matter the biological sex or gender identities involved.)

Yes, I was more focused on his questioning that his disclosure of being gay would be in any way a disruptive factor in our friendship. I look back and wish I had stopped to put myself in his shoes at that time. Especially egregious is the fact that I myself had had a different sort of "coming out" (difference in religious beliefs) to my own parents a few years prior, so I should have understood the fear, anxiety, and trepidation he must have felt - particularly since he came out in an overseas mailed postal letter. The time he must have sat there, waiting for a reply.... Sigh. Though he did start laughing when I called him, hot under the collar about his statement about understanding if I didn't want to remain friends. I know nowit was laughter of relief and happiness (I thought he was laughing at my irritation, which only fueled my fire, and thus made him laugh even harder). He and I have often discussed the way that all occurred, and we remain friends as much as ever. It's been... 35 years? (Wow, I feel old now.) Yes, I think that's about right; we were around 10 years old when we met.

Another of our classmates, I recently learned from another (even older) dear friend, has had gender reassignment surgery. I'm so proud of him - I always thought he seemed uncomfortable somehow, and now he is an advocate for LGBTQ rights. So proud of the courage involved in making that life choice to live as his own true self.

I work with people with all kinds of backgrounds, which includes people from the LGBTQ community. I have had to mediate between family arguments between wives, had a client cry in my office because his ex-wife and current husband were "picking on him" for not having a job, provide resources for teens considering coming out to their parents (and ones who have been kicked out of their homes by parents after they did come out), help multiple clients navigate employment as trans* - some of whom were in various stages of reassignment surgery, others opting not to go for the surgery in light of other medical conditions requiring resources more urgently. I have done crisis hotline work and had many use the hotline to try and work through instances of hate and discrimination over these matters.

And so it was that when my child felt it time to come out, I was the first to be told (in secrecy). I provided support and encouragement, and live, and the apparently memorable late-night conversatioal line, "I get that, and I live you no matter who you choose to live or have a relationship or call yourself, even if it's a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people-eater only without the people-eating, but I told you last night to unload this dishwasher and clean your room and neither is done, so get to it. I have food to cook and you have to get to bed to be ready for tomorrow's test." (And my kid laughed, I gkared, pointed at the dishwasher again, and unloading ensued.)

Nobody's perfect. *shrug*

My kid started off claiming the label of gender-fluid, then eventually moved to gay, then trans* and honestly, I don't care what label is in play. There's a great boyfriend in the picture (met him twice and he's a great guy), college life seems agreeable, family (who know) are generally accepting and supportive with only one or two slightly removed exceptions, and yes, the household chores (and barn chores) are still required to be done while kiddo is home from campus during the lockdown/quarantine.

I thought about all these things during your meditation, Tony. It was such a wonderful recording. I feel it didn't go quite far enough though - it's a fantastic exercise to put oneself in the shoes of a family member. It would also have been a great addition to take one more step and imagine yourself as YOU are, not as the family member of one of the people mentioned, and assess your personal responses and feelings. I learned from my friend that I could be accepting and supportive and STILL somehow make his courageous disclosure to me not about his life-altering choice to come out of the closet, but instead make it more about my own feelings of hurt and irritation that he would have (in my way of thinking) not been certain of my character and our friendship. That was, to put it bluntly, messed up on my part, but I suppose given the time we lived in then and our ages, it wasn't an unusual response. Still, I felt bad about it afterwards, even though he felt relieved and happy. (He's gotten a number of apologies for my self-centered reply over the years.) It's not enough to be accepting and supportive. That's us, internally-generated. We must also step outside that frame of reference and recognize the very real fear, anxiety, depression, and worry our lived ones have when they choose to disclose to us a deep truth about who they really are - and speak directly to those concerns when we reply to their brave reveal. If we do not, our acceptance is unlikely to be truly and deeply believed. Lip service only, just words. We must see THEM. See their concerns. Address and soothe those concerns, and if we do truly accept them, nurture that acceptance and do so in whatever way necessary for it to truly sink in and be believed.

My friend told me that my anger at him for thinking his coming out would change our friendship (and the late-night long-distance overseas phone bill that woke up his parents, whom he had not yet told but nevertheless roused him out if bed to answer the phone) was the most proof positive to him that I did in fact accept him for who he was, because he knew an immediate response like that from me came from my gut and heart, not a calculated, measured verbal response via letter. I hadn't thought of it that way, but in my case, he was spot on. I am a cautious, over-thinking, analytic type who prefers to write rather than speak and run the risk of misstating myself or overlooking a point. The emotion-driven reaction drove the point if my acceptance home for him as surely as a single driving blow if a hammer that sinks a nail completely into the woods. No multiple taps required there. Just one swift and hard THUNK and it's done. (I still don't generally recommend the self-sentered righteous indignation reaction as a first line of response to disclosure, though.)

Start to finish - it's not enough to be accepting. That has to be conveyed in meaningful ways to those in the LGBTQ community, else the underlying distrust and uncertainty as to whether or not truth is being spoken will persist. My husband was (is) a bit confused by our child's being trans, but he was concerned his message of acceptance was being muddled as a result. of his confusion. He just wants our kid to be happy and healthy. So he bought a t-shirt that bears the statement "We are all human" in rainbow letters, and took our kid out to their usual Saturday breakfast, and gifted kiddo with that shirt. Nothing was said about it afterwards - I knew he was going to do it, we'd discussed it for a few days, what he wanted to do any how to show it wasn't just words - but kiddo never mentioned it. (Confirmed it months later when I asked directly.) What I DUD notice, was that after that breakfast, there was an ease and lessening of a subtle undercurrent of tension that had been there before. The relationship is now as relaxed as prior to the disclosure, and even the "meet the boyfriend" went well.

Actions sometimes speak louder than words, but they must be backed up by those - SINCWRE - words as well. We must have both to enable our near and dear to truly feel supported and accepted. In this day and age, we could all do with a lot more love, tolerance and acceptance. We can make that happen. And we need to do exactly that.

Again, thank you, Tony. Thank you for this beautiful session. Thank you for reminding me of the moment I realized I was expressing acceptance to a dear one in pain, and had not yet learned to check myself or my gut before I responded so it was not so self-centered. I have heard people respond to disclosures with, "How could they do this to me?" I've never understood that. They are who they are. Doing "this" is simply expressing trust in you by letting you know who their core being is. That should be a humbling moment of gratitude for that trust and courage in making oneself vulnerable, regardless of one's feeling about the message delivered. More peace, more love, more acceptance of people as people, head to toe. Many native sultures looked at some of these people as special to the gods, shamans who could walk both worlds. I personally feel blessed to be the mother of a transperson, who can now see, through my child's observation of the world, even more clearly how life differs according to how one presents oneself. This is an incredible gift to me and my understanding of the world and his to move forward to make it a better place.

I see you and the light within you, Tony, and all those out there who choose to listen to this recording and yes, read my words. Thank you. Be well, be safe, and love each other as the glorious human beings we all are. 🤲🏻🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈🤲🏻 (I'd put the trans* flag in there too but it doesn't seem to have an emoji yet.)

Thank you for this Tony. Being LGBT should be incidental, like the color of one’s eyes. Let’s continue the much needed work for equality for all. 🙏🏻🌺