Let Down The Burden And Forgive

Finding the strength to forgive can be difficult if we feel that we have been hurt by someone. But finding that strength is essential to our own well-being. If we are to move on we must lay down the burden of resentment and we must abandon any feeling that we wish to return pain with pain. Thi meditation includes a simple act of forgiveness to help us on our way. Interval music is by Alexander Nakarada "Interval Minute for Change" and Cheesy Piano"

Transcript

Dear friends,

Welcome to our meditation Let Down the Burden and Forgive.

My hope is that this will help you to leave down part of any burden associated with the past.

I hope you'll be helped to move forward in the freedom you experience through your acts of forgiveness.

Let's begin by making sure you are sitting comfortably.

Eyes closed if you wish,

But open if you prefer.

And mindfully enter into this amazing space which we call the now.

Relax.

And for these next 60 seconds take it easy.

Nothing on the agenda except to be present.

May you be well.

May you be free from all worry and anxiety.

May the people you love be well.

May the people you love be free from all worry and anxiety.

May we all become more aware day by day of how wonderful it is to be alive.

One minute pause.

Let down the Burden and Forgive.

Welcome back.

So why should we practice forgiveness?

We know that if we've been hurt by someone it can at times be difficult to forgive.

And the greater the hurt the more difficult it can be to find the strength to forgive.

Maybe even now you can remember some unhappy event,

Some situation in the past where you've suffered some hurt and where even now you are left carrying the Burden.

Yes we can carry these hurts with us.

We are pained by the circumstance and it is understandable that sometimes it can be very difficult to overcome the feelings that we still have.

I have come across situations where people have carried resentment with them for years,

In some cases even to the grave.

So sad.

Now the pain that these people have felt may have been very serious.

But holding resentment like this is such a waste of time,

Such a waste of a life.

There is so much more we can do with our lives rather than dwelling on injuries from the past.

We owe it to ourselves to try to move on.

Don't forget that the person who has caused the upset has probably moved on,

Moved on long ago.

This incident is no longer in that person's mind.

And yet the injured party is suffering time and time again by reopening the old wound and not taking the life enhancing step of forgiving.

In the Christian tradition we have this line in the Lord's Prayer.

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

Sometimes in reciting this sentence people place a pause that sounds like this.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

But we really have to look at this expression in its entirety as one sentence unbroken by a comma or a pause.

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

When people say this prayer they are asking God not to forgive them unconditionally.

They ask God to forgive them in the very same way that they forgive those who have caused them upset.

Many people say this prayer every day but it can be recited parrot-like without an understanding of its implication.

I've said it that way myself.

I have to remember that I am asking God to forgive me in the same way as I forgive others.

So if I don't forgive others then what?

Writers and advisors from all traditions talk about the importance of forgiveness.

The wonderful Marianne Williamson tells us,

And there is a second aspect to forgiveness.

Yes,

We need to forgive others for the mistakes of their past.

But we need to forgive ourselves too for the mistakes of our own past.

We have all made mistakes.

We have all done things that we have later come to regret.

We have all left things undone that we wish we had done.

We find if only is an expression that enters our minds a little too often for comfort.

Now that doesn't mean that doing wrong is such an everyday thing,

Such a routine thing,

That we needn't worry at all about it.

It doesn't mean that we don't have to make an effort.

We do have to try and put our best foot forward.

But if we fail to forgive ourselves for our own failings,

We wind up carrying a burden,

Sometimes for years.

And that burden prevents us from being the best we can be.

We fail to shine.

It's an example of the old situation of giving a dog a bad name.

And we give ourselves a bad name.

By failing to forgive ourselves,

We fail to believe that we can be better.

And we fail to be better.

Sometimes we are afraid to do good in case the past catches up with us and we will be considered hypocrites.

What a loss this is for ourselves and for the world.

Notice too how we can be much harder on ourselves than on other people.

We can be the worst judges in our own cases.

We are much more inclined to forgive other people for their failures than we are to forgive ourselves for our own failings.

I invite you now to take a one minute pause for reflection.

During this minute think about any situations where you need to forgive yourself or forgive someone else.

A one minute pause.

.

.

.

.

Welcome back.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

These are two separate things.

We don't have to become best friends or friends at all with someone who has hurt us.

Forgiveness doesn't excuse the wrong that has been done to us.

But even so,

We must try to forgive.

Forgiveness allows us to let down the burden of resentment.

And having forgiven,

It makes a lot of sense to try to forget as well.

If we don't forget,

Then it is as if we have cut down a weed above ground without getting at the roots.

In time,

The weed will come up again.

The same could happen with our feelings of resentment if we don't forget as well as forgive.

So forgive and forget is best.

Even though we try our best to make sure that we will not put ourselves in the same position again.

A case of once bitten,

Twice shy.

Does the other person need to ask our forgiveness?

The answer is no.

Our forgiveness does not depend upon the other person asking for it.

Although it might encourage us if they do.

This is our own conscious act of forgiving.

And it does not depend at all upon the other person.

Forgiveness lifts the burden from our own shoulders.

So the person who hurt us does not have to say they are sorry.

In the first place they may not be sorry.

They may not feel any guilt.

And for that matter,

They may not even be aware that they ever caused us any upset.

Another possibility is that the other person may have long forgotten that they have caused us distress.

And here we are,

Worrying still,

Still feeling resentful.

Maybe wanting to get our own back on the other person.

Today when we stop to think about it,

We will likely find that we are the only people troubled by the situation.

The person who has caused the hurt has moved happily alone.

Leaving the victim suffering further pain,

Simply because the victim refuses to forgive.

So we need to learn to practice forgiveness.

It lifts a burden from our own shoulders.

It allows us to move on,

Unencumbered.

Now forgiveness is not always child's play.

We might have to take it a step at a time.

Baby steps.

If we find it hard to forgive,

Maybe we can begin in a small way,

Taking just one tentative step for a start.

And let's try that now with a short exercise.

See if you can recall some minor irritation or upset in the past that needs your forgiveness.

There's no need just now to look back to find the big hurts that can come later.

What we want to call to mind now is just something that caused and is still causing you a little bit of trouble.

Please take just one minute to bring this to mind and then I'll offer you some words to help bring forgiveness to that situation.

Welcome back.

And now for our forgiveness reflection.

In the last minute,

I have called to mind something which has been troubling me.

This is something which has happened in the past and about which I have been holding some feeling of resentment.

I've often heard it said that resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

This event that I have called to mind is my poison just now.

So to eliminate the discomfort of this poison,

I've decided to forgive the person who caused me this upset.

I accept that this action on my part does not require the other person to say they are sorry.

And it does not require me to tell the other person that I've forgiven them.

That might not be a good idea.

This is a personal act on my part designed to put this event behind me so that I can move on with my own life free of any burden of resentment.

So now finally I can bring myself to say as far as I am concerned,

This upset belongs in the past.

And I unconditionally forgive the person who caused me this distress.

This event has been causing me worry and upset not every day,

But every now and again,

Which is why I could bring it to mind right now.

It is time for the worry and upset to stop.

It is time for me to lay down this burden.

Time for me to move on.

I see now that I've been carrying an unnecessary weight with me wherever I go.

I will carry it no longer.

Here and now I lay down this weight.

I release this burden.

I forgive this person.

Yes,

It is done.

Here and now I have laid down this weight.

I have released this burden.

I have forgiven this person.

Let's pause for one more minute.

A minute of gratitude this time to allow this act of forgiveness to really sink in.

A one minute pause.

You.

Welcome back.

I hope this act of forgiveness has helped you to drop some little burden of simmering resentment today.

I hope it might encourage you to offer this same support to other people who are more troubled by the past than you are yourself.

Well done.

The message for us everywhere we look is that we have to try and make forgiveness a normal part of our lives.

Once you make the decision to forgive,

It's recommended that you confirm it with an action of some sort.

Write about your forgiveness in a notebook,

Naturally in a form that only you can read.

Do something to help you remember this definite act of forgiveness made at a specific time.

Attach a date to the note.

This note helps you to put the troubling situation behind you for good.

Now,

As we are nearing the end of this meditation,

I invite you to return to the breath for a few moments.

Noticing your presence in this time and place.

Noticing with gratitude even a slight burden lifted.

And thinking also of the times that you yourself have done something that required forgiveness.

The many times when you have been forgiven and where your mistakes have been happily forgotten by other people.

Let's have that one minute pass.

Welcome back.

A closing thought for this meditation comes from John Greenleaf Whittier.

This poem reminds us of how it puts things in perspective if we consider where each of us will be in 100 years time,

Or even less.

The longest life is short.

The price of holding a grudge or feelings of resentment is too high.

Here are the words from John Greenleaf Whittier.

My heart was heavy,

For its trust had been abused.

Its kindness answered with foul wrong.

So,

Turning gloomily from my fellow men,

One summer Sabbath day,

I strolled among the green mounds of the village burial place.

Where pondering on how all human love and hate find one sad level.

And how soon or late,

Round and rounder,

Each with meekened face and cold hands over a still heart,

Passed the green threshold of our common grave.

With our all footsteps tend,

Whence none depart.

Odd for myself and pitying my race,

Our common sorrow like a mighty wave,

Swept all my pride away and trembling I forgave.

John Greenleaf Whittier there,

Considering the shortness of life,

Trembling he forgave.

And so must we.

So must we.

And so my friends,

May you be well.

May you be peaceful.

May you move forward unencumbered by any troublesome events of the past.

Forward to a brighter future,

A brighter tomorrow.

Be well.

You are a good person.

Be blessed.

Namaste.

Reviews

As always Beautiful, encouraging, and magically gentle with your delightful intimate voice and presence. You are also the only teacher I’ve encountered who uses musical breaks for contemplation. Thank you. 💖♾️💕

Since life is a continuing thing, and we encounter little things to have to forgive more than once, this is a meditation. We should all Listen to every once in a while. It’s a great reminder and exercise. Thank you,, Tony

T'hank you so much for your wonderful guidance. Will come back to this one. Hugs from Austria🙏🌺🤗

Great talk with pauses for reflection, introspection…💓🙏🏾

Once again Tony,
Thank you very much for your wisdom and insightful framing of life’s speed bumps. Your help is appreciated, Namaste 🙏💞

A deeply comforting meditation, thank you Tony. Intellectually I have trouble with forgiveness because it feels like absolving the person who has hurt me. Your words have encouraged me to see it as something that will benefit me and help me live more fully, rather than simply releasing the wrongdoer of any responsibility. It’s a daily practice for me! Thank you for helping me get a few steps closer today 🙏🏼💗🦋

Magnificent as usual, thank you so much for your gentle and wise guidance, God bless you !🙏🏽

Tony,

Such a thoughtful reflection. All well here thankfully. Was in Dublin briefly last week. Was great to get bank for a visit. Blessings to you. Siobhán 🙏

Touching and true! Thank you, Tony.
Getting older, I can’t help but notice that, it’s much more worthwhile to use my memory for good and happy interactions than for the bumps in the road!

Thank you, Tony, as ever. Your work continues to bless my practice. 🙏

I see my biggest shortcomings
In judgement & forgiveness. A work in progress. Thank you

Grudges are so corrosive; I’m working on this and gradually getting better at it. Thank you Tony 🙏🏻🌺

How good it feels having forgiven those who I hold responsible for burdens and blames from the past. Time to forgive and forget 🤓🙏🏻

What a gift you have, your talks are gold. Thank you Tony🙏

That was lovely, thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you 🙏 your voice is peaceful, kind and serene. Your content is very relevant for me especially within the world today.

Another amazing meditating from Tony. Very clear, practical, and healing. Thank you Tony !

What a great meditation Tony! This is so helpful to me to put into my practice. You always have such a wonderful way for me to see a solution to better myself. Life is to short to carry resentment and I now have tools to help me let it go. Thank you.
Wishing you a wonderful day. 🙏🏻💕

Just what I needed this morning. Thank you, Dear Tony.